Seven reasons why the Mass Effect Movie will suck.

[Aiden Rebirth]

Oh god it?s happening, a Mass Effect movie. The world has come to an end, my second favorite game series will crash and burn, and become outright terrible. I know that there is a slight amount of hope that Hollywood will do justice to the franchise, but let?s face it when have they ever? So I have compiled a list of 7 reasons why the Mass Effect movie will suck.


---Spoiler warning for the games


1. It might not be about the game storyline- other than a couple of events like the first contact war, the books, or Captain Anderson?s training to be a SPECTRE, this movie might make up its own plot which could be really good or really bad, because the reapers are just more exciting. I have read the books and they are ok, they lay well into the world, but expanded universes like it, and also in star wars, are just so different, when you weigh them against the source material, it all just seems like fluff to me, and it seems terribly unentertaining.

2. It might be the story from the game- They will use the canon back-story for the first game, aka renegade Shepard, which could be neat but robs people from seeing the true Shepard on screen, namely the Shepard the player themselves created and acted. While to an extent Shepard is a ?pre-determined character? he is still ours, and frankly they will rape him.

3. They will cut things/characters that we love- I know that to make a good movie you have to make concessions about what to cut from the source material, while i would love to never see Kaidan Alenko again they might cut someone awesome like Tali, Wrex, Garrus, or god forbid joker. I cannot see them rape the canon like Hollywood did with the wing commander movie.

4. Cheapness- Making the mass effect universe come to life won't be cheap, i would love to see a budget like avatar take this thing and make it amazing, but if a good movie concept like Bioshock can get canned for budgetary problems, this is even more likely to. I mean the citadel itself is filled to bursting with more aliens than humans, and not easy costume aliens either, the CGI will take a hit or, or it will just end up very ugly...

5. And starring as Commander Shepard, Shia Lebouf- This thing will be casted terribly I just know it, while some characters could get the same voice actors, or even actors like with Keith David, Seth green, or Yvonne Strahovski, i fear that Shia Lebeouf, Megan Fox, or the guy from avatar Sam What's his name will show up in it, just because they are popular Hollywood commodities. Hint Hollywood just because something is popular doesn?t make it good.

6. When has Hollywood ever cared?- Street fighter, Street fighter the legend of Chun lee, Mario bros. Mortal Kombat 2 annihilation, Lara croft Tomb raider, all of these movies sucked because Hollywood doesn?t care about the story or what?s important to the fans, they are just trying to make a quick buck off a hot property. None of these films had much in the way of artistic quality, and for it they suffered. Mass effect will be no different; it will be made with no reverence or respect for the source material.

7. Uh? Asari are interesting- let?s face it, something?s in the mass effect universe are a little family unfriendly, I wouldn?t be surprised if we see male Asari, or a complex thing like the genocide of the Rachni/sterilization of the Krogan being completely cut out, just to squeeze out a Pg-13 rating, I understand but it robs some of the color from the world of Mass Effect.

At the end of the day I will have to let the final product stand on its own, and please I am so going to see this like 8 times anyway, and hope that the Movie is good. Don?t be surprised however if the movie falls through or it sucks because guess what I warned you all?

 

[eggy32]

I think it'll suck because it will take out Mass Effect's unique features. those being choices and interactivity in general. Going from a story that branched off in a million ways to a story with one branch will not go well.

 

[Amnestic]

1. reapers are just more exciting

they said the same thing about the Death Star and Darth Vader.

Then KotOR came along.

2. It might be the story from the game

So first it'll suck because it's not the game, then it'll suck because it is? As usual, no pleasing some people. It can be centred around the timeline the games are set without dealing with Shepard at all. For instance, they could have the movie focused around Garrus and his team on Omega, never mentioning Shepard's gender or specific non-canon actions (i.e. Saren's still dead of course, so they can mention that, but they can skirt around the likes of the Rachni or the Krogan).

3. They will cut things/characters that we love

Unless it's set in a different time, as you pointed out it could be. A film doesn't have to cameo every character from the game anyway - as I said above, could be set around Garrus. Could be set around Wrex rebuilding the Krogan, but that'd canonise him living. Could be set around Tali dealing with the Migrant Fleet.

Cutting characters from screen time won't necessarily hurt the film. Writing them in and using needless cameos will.

4. Cheapness-

No comment. You're basing this on speculation. You've got no idea what budget they'll use. When you're asserting it will suck, it'd pay to have some backup to your points rather than "Oh, they might not give it a big enough budget." which would cripple most every film.

5. And starring as Commander Shepard, Shia Lebouf

They could just have Mark Vanderloo do the body and Mark Meer do the voice - Vader style. And again, that's even assuming they put Shepard in the film.

6. When has Hollywood ever cared?

They care about making money. Generally to do that you need to at least make a halfway decent film. This is the information age and games are a far, far different medium than how they were back when the MK or SF films were made.

Besides, I think with the likes of the recent Iron Man films, it's not unreasonable to say they might be able to do something good with nerddom for once.

7. Uh... Asari are interesting-

I have no idea what you're on about. How would having male asari give it a PG-13 rating?

At the end of the day

Think you're talking a load of old bollocks, mate.

 

[maddawg IAJI]

I don't see Shia Lebeouf or Megan Fox being in it. Yes, they are hot property, but they won't be a good idea for the movie....unless the movie is a complete side-story to whats going on while Shepard is fighting the Reapers. Then Hollywood will proably make an ex-marine who meets up with the pretty girl and these two, not Shepard and the Normandy's crew, will end up saving the Universe from the Reapers.

Hollywood fails utterly when it attempts to make a movie about Video Games because they try to add their own story and they usally fail horribly at it. I honestly believe that their will never be a good Video Game movie (By that I mean, critically, Financally and loved by the audience) because Hollywood doesn't get the one great thing about Video Games. They are meant to be played and experienced at the Player's pace, not watched on a big screen of a theatre.

 

[eggy32]

BTW, who is writing the movie?

 

[Aiden Rebirth]

Mark Protosevich, the writer of I am legend, and the Thor movie coming next year.

 

[Aiden Rebirth]

1. reapers are just more exciting

they said the same thing about the Death Star and Darth Vader.

Then KotOR came along.

2. It might be the story from the game

So first it'll suck because it's not the game, then it'll suck because it is? As usual, no pleasing some people. It can be centred around the timeline the games are set without dealing with Shepard at all. For instance, they could have the movie focused around Garrus and his team on Omega, never mentioning Shepard's gender or specific non-canon actions (i.e. Saren's still dead of course, so they can mention that, but they can skirt around the likes of the Rachni or the Krogan).

3. They will cut things/characters that we love

Unless it's set in a different time, as you pointed out it could be. A film doesn't have to cameo every character from the game anyway - as I said above, could be set around Garrus. Could be set around Wrex rebuilding the Krogan, but that'd canonise him living. Could be set around Tali dealing with the Migrant Fleet.

Cutting characters from screen time won't necessarily hurt the film. Writing them in and using needless cameos will.

4. Cheapness-

No comment. You're basing this on speculation. You've got no idea what budget they'll use. When you're asserting it will suck, it'd pay to have some backup to your points rather than "Oh, they might not give it a big enough budget." which would cripple most every film.

5. And starring as Commander Shepard, Shia Lebouf

They could just have Mark Vanderloo do the body and Mark Meer do the voice - Vader style. And again, that's even assuming they put Shepard in the film.

6. When has Hollywood ever cared?

They care about making money. Generally to do that you need to at least make a halfway decent film. This is the information age and games are a far, far different medium than how they were back when the MK or SF films were made.

Besides, I think with the likes of the recent Iron Man films, it's not unreasonable to say they might be able to do something good with nerddom for once.

7. Uh... Asari are interesting-

I have no idea what you're on about. How would having male asari give it a PG-13 rating?

At the end of the day

Think you're talking a load of old bollocks, mate.

This adresses my concerns, I am concerned about it being based on the games directly or indirectly so both are an issue, also you didn't read all of seven did you, the title was a bit of a joke, but number 7 was about them skipping over the more controversial aspects of the universe. Also this is a list of my concerns about how the movie could go wrong, so yea it's not going to be a positive list, I may write a "7 reasons why the Mass Effect movie will rock". sorry my friend but you should read the paragraphs instead of just the headers.

 

[Amnestic]

you should read the paragraphs instead of just the headers.

Did read them, just didn't quote them to save space.

 

[LWS666]

tbh i never really liked the ME series (yet i liked dragon age) but (i think) the driector for the new silent hill movie said "we're not making this for gamers", which too many people do.

i remember in the hitman movie, i saw a blurry screen and realised it was hitman, and thought that was cool. they then focused in on it and i felt kinda patronised.

they either make a movie about a game, not for gamers, or a movie about a game for gamers thinking that gamers are 8 year olds, who wouldn't bother to look at a blurry screen.

 

[eddyrhys]

if the characters in the movie are as wooden as the ones in the game, it'll suck balls. Unless they get someone awesome to play shepard... like chuck norris... or samuel l. jackson.

 

[RowdyRodimus]

if the characters in the movie are as wooden as the ones in the game, it'll suck balls. Unless they get someone awesome to play shepard... like chuck norris... or samuel l. jackson.

Don't worry Samuel L. Jackson will be in it. Wen he made his deal with the devil to be a famous actor he also agreed to appear in EVERY movie made until 2042. If there is a movie, he'll be in it. It's like he hangs out at the studios and goes from set to set saying "Ok, where do I stand in this scene?"

 

[eddyrhys]

Unless they get someone awesome to play shepard... like chuck norris... or samuel l. jackson.

Don't worry Samuel L. Jackson will be in it. Wen he made his deal with the devil to be a famous actor he also agreed to appear in EVERY movie made until 2042. If there is a movie, he'll be in it. It's like he hangs out at the studios and goes from set to set saying "Ok, where do I stand in this scene?"

I liked this gentlemans reply so much. I'm making a movie of it. starring Sam Jackson of course.

On a tottaly unrelated note has any heard about the apparent making of an L4D film???

on another note i know this is about the mass effect film, but that's going to be awful no matter what we say and/or do, and i really want to know if the L4D film's true.

 

[Aiden Rebirth]

On a tottaly unrelated note has any heard about the apparent making of an L4D film???

on another note i know this is about the mass effect film, but that's going to be awful no matter what we say and/or do, and i really want to know if the L4D film's true.

I haven't heard anything, but who knows uwe boll might be prepping the movie now.

 

[CrafterMan]

1. reapers are just more exciting

they said the same thing about the Death Star and Darth Vader.

Then KotOR came along.

2. It might be the story from the game

So first it'll suck because it's not the game, then it'll suck because it is? As usual, no pleasing some people. It can be centred around the timeline the games are set without dealing with Shepard at all. For instance, they could have the movie focused around Garrus and his team on Omega, never mentioning Shepard's gender or specific non-canon actions (i.e. Saren's still dead of course, so they can mention that, but they can skirt around the likes of the Rachni or the Krogan).

3. They will cut things/characters that we love

Unless it's set in a different time, as you pointed out it could be. A film doesn't have to cameo every character from the game anyway - as I said above, could be set around Garrus. Could be set around Wrex rebuilding the Krogan, but that'd canonise him living. Could be set around Tali dealing with the Migrant Fleet.

Cutting characters from screen time won't necessarily hurt the film. Writing them in and using needless cameos will.

4. Cheapness-

No comment. You're basing this on speculation. You've got no idea what budget they'll use. When you're asserting it will suck, it'd pay to have some backup to your points rather than "Oh, they might not give it a big enough budget." which would cripple most every film.

5. And starring as Commander Shepard, Shia Lebouf

They could just have Mark Vanderloo do the body and Mark Meer do the voice - Vader style. And again, that's even assuming they put Shepard in the film.

6. When has Hollywood ever cared?

They care about making money. Generally to do that you need to at least make a halfway decent film. This is the information age and games are a far, far different medium than how they were back when the MK or SF films were made.

Besides, I think with the likes of the recent Iron Man films, it's not unreasonable to say they might be able to do something good with nerddom for once.

7. Uh... Asari are interesting-

I have no idea what you're on about. How would having male asari give it a PG-13 rating?

At the end of the day

Think you're talking a load of old bollocks, mate.

Haha this was the best counter argument I've seen to date.

Good show!

He's right you know, you are speaking bollocks. I very much look forward to this movie, put your chin up boy!

 

[slowpoke999]

Unless they get someone awesome to play shepard... like chuck norris... or samuel l. jackson.

Don't worry Samuel L. Jackson will be in it. Wen he made his deal with the devil to be a famous actor he also agreed to appear in EVERY movie made until 2042. If there is a movie, he'll be in it. It's like he hangs out at the studios and goes from set to set saying "Ok, where do I stand in this scene?"

I liked this gentlemans reply so much. I'm making a movie of it. starring Sam Jackson of course.

On a tottaly unrelated note has any heard about the apparent making of an L4D film???

on another note i know this is about the mass effect film, but that's going to be awful no matter what we say and/or do, and i really want to know if the L4D film's true.

Better not be, you do not make a movie about a game, based on movie cliches.

And there's no way the Mass Effect film can possibly work out, the games are too long to condense into a movie, and there are WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY too many characters, and we haven't even finished the f'ing series yet, it's like if they started making the Watchmen movie before the graphic novel series even ended

 

[DevilSShadoW]

I see as lot of concerned folks here and for good reason. I am a long time hardcore ME fan but i have to say this: i could care less about a ME movie being good or not. Seriously, sure there's a strong chance that it will not do the ME universe justice or that it won't stay true to the story but it really doesn't matter. People that never heard about mass effect will probably enjoy it as a summer blockbuster(i'm assuming that's what it will be) and the people that do know what's what in the ME universe shouldn't go berserk over it even if it does suck. Point is we, the ME fanbase, have our games and our books/comics. We should regard a movie as a nice little addition to the collection, not something that jeopardizes it's image. If anything, this might get people that where previously unaware of ME into its fascinating universe.

 

[RatRace123]

I'm not having high hopes for this, I hate to see my favorite game of all time reduced, in this manner. Still, several Mass Effect developers including the creator himself, seem to take an active interest. Maybe if the film makers listen to the game makers, we could have a decent project on our hands. Not holding my breath though, because I know for a fact that my Mass Effect, will never be on the big screen, Neither will yours, or his, or hers. And that's probably the worst thing about the movie.

I actually did enjoy the Vanderloo/Meer Vader esque acting thing. But it presents different problems than Vader, Vader's expression was all in the way Prowse moved, you never actually saw his face, saw his lips move, or hear him speak. That makes the prospect of Shepard a bit more difficult, it's easy to voice a game character, but voicing an actor (or Dutch model) acting is much harder.

 

[DeadlyYellow]

I think it'll suck because it will take out Mass Effect's unique features. those being choices and interactivity in general. Going from a story that branched off in a million ways to a story with one branch will not go well.

Um, there is a distinct set of characteristics to the operation of both movies and games.

Since your concern is that the movie will not be a game, just go play the original game.

Then complain about how it's not enough like a movie.

Adversely, you can always just opt for the accompanying game-based-movie-based game.