Sexuality and Relationship Questions

[aPod]

Couples stay together, have kids and homes, but don't get married because they don't feel overly obligated to tie the knot. If you're not a religious person, getting married can seem pretty pointless.

Bottom line, don't worry about what others think or do. If you and your lady are happy together, that's all that really matters.

I'm not surprised by the assumption that marriage is a religious thing, given the "sanctity of marriage" advocators doing so mainly out of religious context. However, isn't marriage beneficial for financial reasons, aren't there special tax breaks for married couples with kids that couples who are not married with kids don't have access too?

 

[Susan Arendt]

Couples stay together, have kids and homes, but don't get married because they don't feel overly obligated to tie the knot. If you're not a religious person, getting married can seem pretty pointless.

Bottom line, don't worry about what others think or do. If you and your lady are happy together, that's all that really matters.

I'm not surprised by the assumption that marriage is a religious thing, given the "sanctity of marriage" advocators doing so mainly out of religious context. However, isn't marriage beneficial for financial reasons, aren't there special tax breaks for married couples with kids that couples who are not married with kids don't have access too?

Oh, sure, but there can be financial reasons not to be married, too. Also, some people have a hard time differentiating "getting married" from "spending a mint on a wedding," and so opt not to get married.

A lot of people who aren't religious see marriage as just practical, but even if you're not devout, there's a lot of emotional benefit to being married. But with so many divorces, it's easy to understand why someone might see marriage as disposable.

 

[PatrickXD]

Most just don't last.
Taking this from a 16 year old's perspective, of course. Relationships at my age never seem to work out. In a few years time more significance should be held for relationships, but until you move out of your parents house, you're not getting married anytime soon.

 

[JesterRaiin]

TL;DR: Why do so many people think "It's a relationship, it won't last" and don't put any effort to make it last?

Because modern generations are raised in luxury, and thanks to their parents, schools, "corectness" and other bullsh*t they aren't ready for all the cruelty and injustice world has to offer. So, to escape - damn - avoid pain people aren't trying... Because there's a possibility to lose, to get hurt, to be left with broken heart. And what purpose would that serve, hmmmmm ?

Welcome in XXI century.

 

[Dr. Pepper Unlimited]

Couples stay together, have kids and homes, but don't get married because they don't feel overly obligated to tie the knot. If you're not a religious person, getting married can seem pretty pointless.

Bottom line, don't worry about what others think or do. If you and your lady are happy together, that's all that really matters.

I'm not surprised by the assumption that marriage is a religious thing, given the "sanctity of marriage" advocators doing so mainly out of religious context. However, isn't marriage beneficial for financial reasons, aren't there special tax breaks for married couples with kids that couples who are not married with kids don't have access too?

Indeed there are, but there are also bad repercussions from getting a divorce as well. So, kind of like a pros and cons situation that you have to weigh out the benefits to both sides of the coin.

 

[BloatedGuppy]

And this brings me to my next question. Why is it that so many people see relationships as a "temporary" thing, rather than an attempt to be with someone.

Because an overwhelming majority of them are. And the younger you are, the more likely that is to be true. Your mistake is correlating "temporary" with "meaningless". Everything that will ever happen to you, including your life itself, is temporary. That doesn't make it meaningless. You can have profound relationships that last a day.

As for the guy hitting on your girlfriend, get used to it. Guys will always try to steal your girlfriend. If you don't see them doing it openly, assume they're doing it surreptitiously. It's fairly traditional for a woman to have a small pantheon of men orbiting her at all times, looking for an opening. As long as you're a good boyfriend and your girlfriend is remotely trustworthy, you shouldn't have anything to worry about.

I like to pretend I like guys, but I don't find them sexually appealing.

I'm not sure what the issue is. You like to pretend you like guys, and some people are confused/convinced by your pretension. It's like complaining that you opened a fake sandwich shoppe, and now people keep coming in to buy sandwiches.

However, in light of the almost comical amount of prevarication you've engaged in regarding this subject during this thread, I humbly suggest that A) you are at the very least bisexual and B) if you're not lying to us about it, you're lying to yourself.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

I believe in such a thing as an intellectual romance. I myself admire the way certain male users here think as well as men I know in real life. Sexually that never gets transferred but it does make for an intimate friendship. As for the latter? Just a pessimistic outlook winning out? I don't know...

 

[BloatedGuppy]

I believe in such a thing as an intellectual romance. I myself admire the way certain male users here think as well as men I know in real life. Sexually that never gets transferred but it does make for an intimate friendship.

You're talking about platonic love. It's pretty widely observed and recognized. I'm not sure "believing in it" is any more revolutionary than believing in pants.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

I believe in such a thing as an intellectual romance. I myself admire the way certain male users here think as well as men I know in real life. Sexually that never gets transferred but it does make for an intimate friendship.

You're talking about platonic love. It's pretty widely observed and recognized. I'm not sure "believing in it" is any more revolutionary than believing in pants.

Well there's that too then. I do believe in pants but trousers are merely theoretical at this point.

 

[gazumped]

I like to pretend I like guys, but I don't find them sexually appealing.

I have so many male friends that joke around like this and usually the less it's appreciated ("seriously, dude, you're creeping me out!") the funnier they think it is. A lot of my female friends do it, too, it went on a lot at my all girls' school, but other females seem more likely to play along. I wonder if it's a bit of a thing where people have sexual energy but don't want to look like desperate creeps to the opposite sex, so they end up just perving on each other as a joke because they don't really have anything to lose if their advances fail as they don't ACTUALLY want to end up in bed with them.

Why do so many people think "It's a relationship, it won't last" and don't put any effort to make it last?

It's a classic last-ditch attempt to get a woman to consider them as a partner. I've had "You'd want to if you didn't have a boyfriend, though, wouldn't you?" and "Yeah yeah yeah, but what about when you split up?" and "Well, can I give you my number, and when you find yourself single, call me?" They figure it's worth a shot.

 

[AlexLoxate]

Well I put a lot of effort in my previous relationship. But she didn't. She ended up leaving me for a girl after almost 4 years. So I'm starting to feel it's not worth the effort. Especially when she told me she never really loved me.

 

[Dieter Meyer]

TL;DR: I like to pretend I like guys, but I don't find them sexually appealing.

For what it's worth, you're not alone. I too enjoy complimenting, and "hitting" on my male friends. I see no reason to why I shouldnt be allowed to compliment them, when its perfectly okay to compliment girls, and it's also perfectly okay for girls to compliment other girls. Why shouldnt guys be allowed to do the same?

This bothered me for a while, trying to figure out if I was actually in a closet. But just like you I have never had any sexual-attraction to any guys. So I came to the conclusion that I'm 100% hetrosexual and I do whatever the fuck I want, as long as I'm sure of my own sexuality I couldnt care less if other people think I might be homosexual

TL;DR: Ignore what everyone else says, listen to what YOUR brain/heart says.

... if thats any help

 

[Bara_no_Hime]

Depends on how old you are. Obviously, if you are 18-29 they won't think it will last and 98% of them don't. It's just simple observation, but if you are 18-29 and you actually spend your entire life with this girl then great.

Wow. That's a huge range there. Do you really think that being over 30 makes you more likely to be in a good relationship?

If you'd said 18-22, I'd agree - romances started in college rarely last. However, by 25 I think most people are fairly clear on what they want out of a relationship. It might still fail, but I don't think that a relationship at 25 is any more likely to fail than a relationship started at 35.

Oh, and for reference, I DID start my current relationship in college. At 22. Married 7 years, and happily so. However, no one else I knew who was in a relationship then is still in a relationship now.