Should I finish with my "friends"?
- Thread starter MattW456
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Well, if Group B tells you about the stuff they'er doing, does it sound interesting to you? If it doesn't, maybe they know you well enough to think it wouldn't be worth inviting you because you'd feel obliged to go and wouldn't enjoy the trip.
Then again, if it sounds like stuff that does interest you, then it may not be worth sticking around with 'em.
My social skills are minimal to say the least, but I'd at least ask if you can tag along once or twice. You don't have to go apeshit on them about how they never invite you, just drop in the hint that you want to hang out with them sometimes.
At the very least, Group B still comes and talks to you. That's something, right?
Then again, if it sounds like stuff that does interest you, then it may not be worth sticking around with 'em.
My social skills are minimal to say the least, but I'd at least ask if you can tag along once or twice. You don't have to go apeshit on them about how they never invite you, just drop in the hint that you want to hang out with them sometimes.
At the very least, Group B still comes and talks to you. That's something, right?
Ditch them, but don't tell them you're ditching them.
If it was a misunderstanding, one of them will get in touch. If not, then fuck 'em, and you haven't had to cause any big drama about it.
Group A has the best name, anyway. If I had a group A, I'd never hang with a group B. I might make them wear badges denoting the fact that they were in group B though. That'd show 'em....
... sorry, got a bit side-tracked there.
If it was a misunderstanding, one of them will get in touch. If not, then fuck 'em, and you haven't had to cause any big drama about it.
Group A has the best name, anyway. If I had a group A, I'd never hang with a group B. I might make them wear badges denoting the fact that they were in group B though. That'd show 'em....
... sorry, got a bit side-tracked there.
Sounds like natural friendgroup shift to me. Like tectonic plates. You've got to think about whether the second group are really worth the worry or the dickery, and whether trying to stick with them would actually serve anyone. If it's tempting just to hop on with group A and forget about the others, it's probably the best thing for everyone.
Either way, I always end up leaving any friend that I have.
But for you, well you can ditch them or simply don't have anything to do with them but still talk to them.
But for you, well you can ditch them or simply don't have anything to do with them but still talk to them.
Be understanding and ask them why they never invite you. Like I said, try and be understanding, but if it's just a bullshit answer I'd slowly stop hanging out with them.
Has there been any sort of changes ,big or small, that you have noticed with group B? Anything that you may or may not have done that could have sparked a hidden confrontation. And are you male or female?
A real friend is someone who will be there for you in any situation, no matter how dire, won't leave you hanging or make you feel like you're a 5th wheel.
If you feel dissed, at least voice your concerns, if they shun you or otherwise blow off the talk, then they're most likely not friends.
I've always seen friends as the family you get to pick.
If you feel dissed, at least voice your concerns, if they shun you or otherwise blow off the talk, then they're most likely not friends.
I've always seen friends as the family you get to pick.
Terry Pratchett reference. You, sir, just made my dayAngryMongoose said:
. OT: they're not worth your time. If the friendship, caring and compassion you get isn't equal to what you put in then don't bother with them
Like the Disc World reference. I've got "The colour of magic" signed by Terry Pratchett.AngryMongoose said:
As for your friends Matt, do they know how you feel? They're pobably oblivious to how you're reacting and aren't trying to hurt you. Just talk to them about it, if they're truly your friends, they'll understand.
If you're not willing to talk to them, how can you expect them to talk to you? You have to be willing to put in the effort you expect to receive.MattW456 said:
The bottom line is, you either want to spend time with them because you genuinely enjoy their company, or you don't. Ask yourself, why does it bother you that they're doing things without you? Is it because you'd like to have shared the experience with them, or just because it hurts to be left out? If it's the former, then definitely, try talking to them about it - though it might not achieve anything. If it's the latter, that's certainly a very natural reaction - everybody wants to be invited, even if they don't actually want to go - but recognize that your interest isn't so much in being friends as it is being liked. (Again, perfectly natural, we all want everyone to like us.)
I do enjoy their company, it bothers me that they're doing things without me because up until very recently I was included in all the things that they did, i'll try speaking to some of them because I do want to be friends with these people, but if they don't feel the same way then there's no point in effectively irritating them by continuing to talk to them and hang out with them if they don't want to talk to or hang out with me.
I haven't done anything that could offend or hurt anyone in the group and it's all just really sudden, we're on summer break at the moment and for the first 2 weeks I was invited to all of the things that they did and I went and we all seemed to have a great time, since then they've been doing loads of things, the last 4 consecutive days they've all gone out somewhere and when I speak to them if the topic of conversation gets to what they've been up to recently they'll simply tell me how good a time they were having today, on a few occasions i've replied, "hey that sounds great, i'd love to come with you guys next time." and i've effectively been shrugged off. A similar thing is happening to other people in "Group B" even though the two friend groups overlap significantly.
I haven't done anything that could offend or hurt anyone in the group and it's all just really sudden, we're on summer break at the moment and for the first 2 weeks I was invited to all of the things that they did and I went and we all seemed to have a great time, since then they've been doing loads of things, the last 4 consecutive days they've all gone out somewhere and when I speak to them if the topic of conversation gets to what they've been up to recently they'll simply tell me how good a time they were having today, on a few occasions i've replied, "hey that sounds great, i'd love to come with you guys next time." and i've effectively been shrugged off. A similar thing is happening to other people in "Group B" even though the two friend groups overlap significantly.