Should my children play games?

[hooblabla6262]

FF8 was my favorite too =P

Now on to my point. My house was always an odd one growing up. We had no rules and no censorship. I mean my favorite show was south park and I played video games all the time growing up. Now I don't know how this worked, but I turned out to be a pretty well rounded person. Sure I made some mistakes along the way, but now I'm in the top of my classes, have good friends, and am always helping others. What I'm getting at is that there is no formula for being a good parent other than caring and always being there when you are needed, even if you don't always feel like you're wanted. You should guide your kid in the right diection, but ultimately it is their choices that will make them in to the person they will become. And remember that kids tend to immitate their parents so how you act will usually determine how they act as well.

Or it could always be that Boy Meets World is what truly shaped the person I am today... =P

Edit: I should note that south park was a lot less vulgar when I was growing up then it is today

 

[hem dazon 90]

let her play just make sure she knows its fiction start her off with mario tho cause once your on mario your hooked your a gamer for life (Edit: I should note that south park was a lot less vulgar when I was growing up then it is today) its lucky the show rocks

 

[Irmekroache]

Hum, yeah, let her play, but try not to let her play on it too much. I remember when I was in elementary school, and there was a kid in the same bus as me named Daniel; This guy watched so much TV that everything he says seem to be quoted right out of spongebob. He reenacts episodes of spongbob by saying the dialogue out loud, with extreme accuracy. His conversation with his peer usually consisted of reenacting episodes of spongebob to that peer. He cries everyday for the stupidest reason. (Maybe copying a certain spongebob). He was about grade 3.

You wouldn't want your kid to turn like that would you?

 

[KSarty]

My parents went for a little of both. My brother and I were allowed to play plenty of video games when we were little as long as my parents thought we were old enough for that particular game. But they also signed us up for hockey, baseball and football even though we didn't want them to, and we ended up loving hockey and football. Most kids like playing sports, but they just need that push to start. We were also forced to go the local community center during the summer, and that was also a lot of fun. So I say let your kids stay inside and play games but make sure they have plenty of activities such as sports and summer field trips to keep them healthy and occupied while they are young.

 

[BallPtPenTheif]

Setting rules in order to contruct an ideal child probably won't work. You basically have to live in a manner that you want your children to live in. I would love it if my daughters grew up to be more productive and intelligent than myself but if I fail to demonstrate a yearning for knowledge and a high rate of productivity then I can pretty much expect them to follow suit.

I know I'm starting up a fitness regiment just to kickstart a lifestyle that will be visible to my children and I do not plan on restricting exposure to videogames. My only concern now is that my wife watches some pretty shitty reality television shows that feel degrading to watch simply because they are so mindless. I really hope she drops those shows soon.

 

[Kikosemmek]

The way I see it, the parents' involvement in the child's life is the most important aspect which ultimately shapes their personality. Be around your daughter, show her smiles, warmth and lots of love and she'll turn out great. I'm sure you'll agree and are staring at this post as if I've insinuated that you won't love your child. Rather, what I meant is try not to yell at her, or be mad with her openly when she's young and doing something annoying (and lots of times this will happen). Tolerate her as gently as you can and train her, not unlike a puppy, not to do anything undesirable. Read material on that; there's lots around. These are tried and true methods centered around a system of rewards and punishments (a punishment, mind you, does not have to be brutal, or painful; a punishment is a response which decreases the frequency of a certain behavior in the future. It can be nice and painless, and as such it should be in the case of children).

It's a very scarring thing for a child to discover that his/her parents are irritable or angry, let alone easily so. You don't want your daughter to be afraid of you, and you certainly shouldn't be showing her that you'll be demanding her respect forcefully. She'll probably give it to you, but there goes your relationship with her. That is the most damaging thing a parent can do. Do not turn on your child. I have friends, all adults, who still fear their mothers' scolding more than anything else, and always use it for the reason to do anything around the house. "No, because my mom will yell at me and I don't want to have to hear that" is something I hear a lot from them. It's not a nice experience. Something like cleaning a room, sleeping on time or washing dishes is done for positive reasons, such as hygiene and health, and should be taught as activities the child should do frequently, lightly (so as to avoid being perceived as boring, menial chores), and happily. Make her bed for her, and then with her, and then let her do it, gradually with time. Smile, be nice and warm and motherly and all that, and don't forget to reward her good work, even if it needs improvement. If it does, and it will at first, criticize her work in a positive manner. Correct the error yourself and point it out. If she's making a bed and leaves one corner undone, for example, go to it, correct it, and say something like "you did great, but see how a bit nicer it is when all corners are made?" Don't point out that the error was her fault. It's really not as far as the child's concerned, because she lacks experience and knowledge on most adult behavior.

---

That said, gaming is awesome (coming from a member of the Escapist, this shouldn't make a splash), but I agree with you that children should also be encouraged to go and play outside, and get some physical exercise and interaction with their peers and environment. Go out with your daughter and play with her. Bring a beach ball, or frisbee, or whatever you want. If you show her that it's fun to play outside, she'll have fun playing outside.

Same thing for video games. Be around her when she's playing them, at least in her beginning months. Enjoy the games with her and she'll like games. If you notice she's being exposed to content you feel is inappropriate, then comment on it. If, for example, she's playing the nth Zelda game and vanquishes someone, empathize with the victim a bit (so she knows killing is not-nice), and congratulate her (on overcoming a challenge and not backing down. This is especially important if it's a hard boss fight). Avoid doing what guys do and go "that's awesome! You blew that guy to bits! Sweet."

Puppy-train your child!

 

[Quaidis]

I am a little late to the party, however I have some advice on young children and gaming:

It is best to moderate how much time your child spends on the television or gaming system. I recommend no more than two hours a day tops. While it's absolutely fine to introduce your child into games, you need to have a limit on how much they do so. I may be disagreed with; there will probably be people saying, "When I was a child, I played for all hours after school!" However there are many children around the age of five, including where I live at this present time, who are spoiled rotten due to too much television and video games. If you don't nip it in the bud at the beginning, you are asking for a kid who will throw unnecessary tantrums and refuse to do anything else. This is especially true with the tele, as the programs are limitless and all entertaining at one point or another. I make it a rule of thumb that a child should not be given a television for their room until they are at least thirteen years of age - as they will not have the responsibility earlier than that to know when enough is enough.

What games you should introduce first should all be educational in one way or another. Phonics games and learning games. I believe there is a gaming system specifically for children in the market these days that only promotes such games.

As the child gets older (perhaps seven to ten years of age) you can introduce more intermediate games. I usually limit these to PG movie games, harmless sims (like SimCity), and harmless platformers. It is essential to monitor what your child intakes at this time, not because violence will harm their mind, but because it's distracting to their life. At this time of life, you want your kid getting exercise, playing out with friends, playing sports, and generally being active. If the games are too intense or involving, the child will likewise be too distracted with them to accomplish the general activities they need to stay healthy and active.

Between ten and thirteen it would also be alright to introduce roleplaying games, though I would recommend it as a summer activity since they are long and addictive.

After thirteen the rest of the gaming genre outside of Mature + games is fine. Like with certain movies, the world opens up at the age of thirteen. It would still be well and good to moderate what you give to your child, so they do not become spoiled. If you choose to give your child allowance, it would be alright to add games in some way to this provided they keep their grades high.

If you choose to use or reformat this type of regimen, and you have issues with it (the child not listening to you, for example), you could always structure everything with a 'chores and bonuses' balance. Ie, if they do chores around the house or get good grades, you will let them get/play the game. This would go a long way to develop a healthy relationship as well as teach important life lessons.

 

[poleboy]

My father was actually the one who introduced me to videogames and RPG's in particular. Some of my fondest childhood memories are of him letting me stay up late to play a game, because he was just as excited as me about where the story was heading. It's a wonderful thing to be able to share an activity with your children and as all know here, video games is not something you outgrow. So with any luck, you will still have the games in common when the kids grow up and turn out completely different than you imagined (which is what usually happens).
Sadly, my father passed away years ago. But I know that if he was still alive, we would talk about it whenever a new FF game came out and maybe even play it together. And if nothing else, playing these games remind me of the good times I had with him.

 

[BallPtPenTheif]

However there are many children around the age of five, including where I live at this present time, who are spoiled rotten due to too much television and video games. If you don't nip it in the bud at the beginning, you are asking for a kid who will throw unnecessary tantrums and refuse to do anything else. This is especially true with the tele, as the programs are limitless and all entertaining at one point or another.

I disagree entirely with what you are saying. It almost sounds like you are setting up arbitrary boundaries out of the belief that they will instill a well tempered child. Having an actual reason for putting time limits is preferred since boundaries without logical cause will only serve to make you look silly and irrational to the child.

Having to say, "Two hours is up, turn off the telivision so you don't turn into a spoiled brat." just seems bizarre and almost superstitious. Rationing out fun just seems too totalitarian to me.

 

[Littaly]

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/features/issue/153

I read this issue of the escapist and i found it excellent, if it is something you want to believe in or trust is up to you, but i found it awesome, especially "The Anatomy of Violence". I don't have kids, i probably never will either, but i would be more concerned about your daughter becoming obsessed with the pink ideals that society sets for her than playing violent video games, if i were you I'd maybe keep her away from the shooty stuff at first and maybe let her play some platformers or simulators and let her get to the violence as she gets older.

Oh and FFVIII is by far my favorite, brings hope to unsocial loners like myself ^^

 

[Ionait]

Poof

 

[BallPtPenTheif]

I don't have kids, i probably never will either, but i would be more concerned about your daughter becoming obsessed with the pink ideals that society sets for her than playing violent video games...

I couldn't agree more. The socialization of little girls in western society seems hell bent on turning them into frivilous people that are fixated on celebrity nonsense and unrealistic body images.

My daughters are half mexican, so I know that it isn't reasonable for them to end up being barbie like in their appearance yet that is one of the major social archetypes that keeps being reiterated in society. So, for the current time being they only receive dolls that have abstracted appearances.. ie, Cabbage Patch dolls and obscure monster toys.

I'm also concerned about highly commercialized childrens characters. Elmo is a bastard, he'll teach your kids how to speak like an idiot and take all their money when they want his lead paint laced toys that were hand crafted by an enslaved Tibetan Monk named Shao Ding.

 

[ZacOfTheZombies]

I'ld have to say this. Be more than happy to show them the world of gaming, but dont forget to let them know that it's the only world. While there young,a child can make anything a video game, even a cardboard box. I'd say hold off the gaming till later. P.S. Congrats on the baby.

 

[Ionait]

Poof

 

[Bulletinmybrain]

Lonait you got quite a few people to add to your list

Also just a little thing, Pink wasn't a girly/gay color until after world war 2. The homosexual prisoners were branded with a pink triangle and its went from there.

 

[Ionait]

Poof

 

[Bulletinmybrain]

Lonait you got quite a few people to add to your list

Also just a little thing, Pink wasn't a girly/gay color until after world war 2. The homosexual prisoners were branded with a pink triangle and its went from there.

Hey hey, that's Ionait with an i at the beginning. (Pronounced like Ee-nat for anyone interested. Hm.. Zero. Yes, well.)

Anywho.. Who am I adding to which of my lists? I'm a little lost..

(Sorry about that thought it was a lowercase l.)
Gaming directory thingy, http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/9.69676

 

[imaroboturarobot]

i am a 13 year old kid i think you should allow your children to play games but not all day you should monitor them. I believe that games are a way to get stress out from everyday school life and with the new online features it is like your child is at all his/her friends houses at the same time playing with them.

 

[SenseOfTumour]

To me, its quite simple, sure let them play, but be involved and limit play time, but you sound far more responsible than a lot of parents by even asking the question or caring.

Of course, kids being what they are, they might rebel against your gamer lifestyle, heh.

Good luck tho, I and many other gamers I imagine wish we could have shared our love of games with our parents. (of course, now my mother is 70 and I can't get her off the Bejeweled and the like.)