Should the partner be present during childbirth?

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Mar 26, 2009
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manic_depressive13 said:
My answer: If I were ever in that situation I definitely wouldn't want my partner watching me shit myself and seeing my vagina getting ripped open as a result of pushing out a small person. I can't imagine any emotional support he could possibly offer that would make up for the shame I would feel if he saw that.
There is way too much blood to witness shitting or vagina rippage.

I was there for my first son's birth and it is the highlight of my life. Seeing the miracle of my son and the beauty of his mother.. I would not replace that memory with anything. Unfortunately I had to wait outside during my second son's birth due to complications and hospital procedures. Biggest regret of my life.

If the time ever comes again, I will desire to be there, both for support and to witness the miracle.
 

dyre

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Mar 30, 2011
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Seems like the kind of question you couldn't really answer by saying "oh, I bet I'd feel this way in that scenario."

The whole concept of having/raising kids seems like an exercise in masochism to me, but a lot of parents seem to enjoy it, so clearly my "common sense expectations" are off.

That said, I'd do whatever my future/hypothetical wife wants in that scenario. Since she's stuck pushing a baby out, the least I could do is follow orders o_O
 

EeveeElectro

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Aug 3, 2008
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I have a horrible feeling whoever gets me pregnant is gonna fuck off and leave me to raise the kid alone so I'd probably have to have my mum there and obviously she's seen it all before.

I do want my partner to be there for the birth of our child if my bad feelings about my future don't happen.
If he's squeamish I suppose I'd understand if he wants to wait outside but I'd really want us to share the first few moments of our babies life and have his hand to crush.


Otherwise I'd hope he'd realise there will be blood and all sorts which I obviously can't help.

My sister told me when you give birth, you don't give a fuck who sees your vag or how much you bleed, you just want the baby out. So people worrying about will probably be thinking about something else at the time.
 

smithy_2045

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Jan 30, 2008
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I'd want to be there, but ultimately it's Mrs. Smithy who'd be pushing a small person out her vagina, so if she'd rather I waited outside or something, that's fine too.
 

soren7550

Overly Proud New Yorker
Dec 18, 2008
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I'd like him to at least be in the hospital, maybe in the delivery room so that I can squeeze his hand and scream how this is all his fault. ;]

Just being in the same building would be enough (maybe) for me. Hell, it'd be a hell of a lot more than what my father did for my mother (in which he wouldn't drive my mother to the hospital and instead was either on a hunting trip or at the nearest White Castle).
 

Roggen Bread

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manic_depressive13 said:
Besides, having an orgasm isn't strictly "doesn't matter had sex". People can have orgasms when getting raped too.
How is getting raped not sex? No one said it has to be consensual.

So. After I am going to hell for this -

OT: If this was my child and my partner would not oppose: I would like to be there.

I think this is the way it should be and everyone should do it like this.

(Except the partner is a fainter or has a weak stomach or something like this)

captcha: pipe down - seriously?!
 

talker

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Nov 18, 2011
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I think I'd like to be there for my child. after all, The child can only be born once, so basically being born is a once in a lifetime experience, and i'd like to be there to see what the experience looks like from a different perspective. Concerning precise location, I think it would be at the top half to hold her hand and comfort her.
 

aba1

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Mar 18, 2010
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I think it depends on the people but generally if you are having a child together you should be close enough that trust is a non issue. Being there for for your partner just seems like something you would want as well as having your partner with you.
 

SmilingWorlock

Knowledge is power.
Oct 22, 2010
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I don't know if I could handle it. I mean she's gonna be in terrible pain and stuff. It'd rather wait outsie or something. Last chance to catch up on handheld gaming for a long time ;)

I also had a talk with a what-do-you-call-that-women-helping-with-birth a while back, and she told me that
a) most men faint. And when you do, you get shoved to the side of the room, because noone there cares about your problem. Don't expect you can handle it. The chief surgeon of the hospital fell like a tree when his wife gave birth.
b) holding hands is not an option because SHE WILL CRUSH YOUR BONES.
c) she is in pain, and she knows it's your fault (you did put it in there).she will tell you. explicit.
 

Zen Toombs

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Nov 7, 2011
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manic_depressive13 said:
Otherwise, would you want to be there to support your partner while they give birth?[/b]

My answer: If I were ever in that situation I definitely wouldn't want my partner watching me shit myself and seeing my vagina getting ripped open as a result of pushing out a small person. I can't imagine any emotional support he could possibly offer that would make up for the shame I would feel if he saw that.
Barring extenuating circumstances, yes.

And to you, "If you love your partner and your partner loves you, why would you feel shame?"
Caramel Frappe said:
but if you decide to go golfing while your partner is giving birth then ... just wow.
I have no idea what you're talking about.

Golfing is SERIOUS BUSINESS.

[small]PS, hi, how're you Caramel? And what's your fancy new avatar from/doing?[/small]
 

Lucem712

*Chirp*
Jul 14, 2011
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Hell, I don't even wanna be present in that case. (Hopefully that situation will come to pass, even though I like kids, I don't think it'd be the best parent and dislike relationships of the romantic sort)

If I was a man, oh HELL NO. I know we both chipped in but, no, it sounds so horrifying...SO. HORRIFYING.[footnote]Yes, I'd be a terrible husband/same sex partner :D [/footnote]
 

Easton Dark

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Jan 2, 2011
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As a man, I'll be there.

If she doesn't want me in there with her I'll wait right outside just in case. If she calls, I'll be right next to her the entire time (I've heard of some births going on for a day, which I wouldn't enjoy, but it doesn't matter).

One of the most painful, and for some people, traumatic, experiences you could go through? The least I could do is be there.
 

Jhooud

Someone's Dad
Nov 29, 2011
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Well, I was there for both of them. It's an amazing experience to see your children come into the world - wouldn't have missed it for anything. Plus, I think my wife enjoyed having me there to talk to during the whole process - there's a fair amount of downtime between arriving at the hospital and the actual delivery.
 

Knusper

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Sep 10, 2010
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I wouldn't really want to be there, what with all the blood and screaming and swearing, but then that's usually the reason why the mean is expected to be there.
 

lacktheknack

Je suis joined jewels.
Jan 19, 2009
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I'd do anything to be there.

I've been told by my squeamish dad that even witnessing childbirth is one of the most exhilarating and satisfactory moments in life. I'm taking his word for it. Plus it just feels like the right thing to do.

My mother has also told me that crapping the bed was very, very secondary to the emotional support she got from Dad being there.

That said, when the time comes, I'm going to give my wife my wrist rather than my hand. No point in extending the hospital visit, right?