Should the partner be present during childbirth?

[Phasmal]

I kinda have to be there, so why shouldn't he suffer with me?

Boyfriend does want to be there, but if and when that happens he'll be by my head thank you very much.
Though I do often joke that he better damn well cry if I pop out a kid for him (boyfriend does not cry. Sad films- nothing, pictures of sad animals- nothing, suffering- nothing, funerals- nothing).

Besides, it'd be pretty boring otherwise, it can take a looong time. Don't really wanna go through that on my own.

 

[blackrave]

If there is intent to kill all further sexual life, then yes
Otherwise it isn't good idea
If you want someone to be near you ask your mother, sister, best friend or anyone else you trust to be near you, not your spouse
Because males get overprotective when their women are in pain
When males are overprotective they are being dicks to everyone around them
So you will make job easier for medical personnel, if you leave your man outside

 

[SwimmingRock]

Watching a baby be born is some sick shit.

Unfortunately, it wouldn't be the first time I see it. My parents sat me down when I was 8, showed me the entire recording of my birth and wouldn't let me get off the couch until it was done. That, combined with the new fad amongst new mothers to have the video of the birth playing above the bed she's in when people visit to see the baby, means I've seen 3 births as a virgin. Seriously, don't ever force your kids to watch a video of their mothers vagina for 5 hours. Mind bleach, motherfuckers, make it happen.

OT: Her choice, I suppose. Don't want kids, so extremely hypothetical, but I wouldn't be too bothered. I figure by that point you're close enough and familiar enough with each other that it's not a big deal. Fuck do I know, though? Zero experience.

 

[bobajob]

Definitely you should be there, as a man I was present at my son's birth & it is extremely emotional as well as exhilarating; Not for the squeamish!

It's all worth it when you hold the baby in your arms the first time, it's really hard to adequately describe. Definitely a life-changing experience. Sleep deprivation is an issue though...

Phasmal, I am also the kind of guy who never ever cries, but I did when the baby took his first breath. No-one held that against me........

You would have to be a major douchebag not to be present for your child's birth in this day & age.

 

[mysecondlife]

Yeah, I would be there.

Its not like I'll be out trying to establish a meth deal partnership or something.

 

[Quesa]

I could not have been less interested in being present for my daughter's birth, but I manned up and did it. C section, no screen from it for me, my wife rocking up and down with a confused expression as they work on her ribs or something, some burning smell in the air, my screaming purple daughter shoved into my hands, a magical time.

 

[robot slipper]

When I had my baby, my partner was there. To be honest at the time, I wouldn't have cared if he was there or not (or even if there was a giant radioactive squid in the room), I just wanted the baby out of me. The only thing that my partner was good for was handing me my bottle of water between contractions. However, once the baby was out it was an amazing sight to see our baby for the first time. Later, my partner said he hadn't even realised what the gender of the baby was (despite me and the midwife having a discreet peek and proclaiming "it's a boy"!) because he was so overcome by seeing the baby lying there that he was stunned and everything going on around him was blocked out.

In summary, I think it would be something that the man would hugely be missing out on if he wasn't there. I mean, how many times in your life do you get to see a life that you helped create take it's first breath? And like many previous posters have mentioned, no one's going to force you to look if you're squeamish.

 

[Trivun]

Woman's choice. It's as simple as that. However, there may be some circumstances where it's fine for the dad to be away even if the mother wants them there. In my own case, my Dad was working down in London when my mother's waters broke and she started giving birth to me, so although he immediately left work to come back to the Midlands to be there he still missed my actual birth - not his fault, just circumstance. But in general, the mother should be the one to choose who is present for the actual birth, especially given most hospital delivery rooms only allow one person with the mother aside from the midwives/doctors/etc...

 

[IckleMissMayhem]

lastest one as of yesterday

Congratulations!! :O)

OT: Oh, he's going to be there, even if I have to handcuff the pair of us together(!!!!) But I'm determined that "there" is not going to be a hospital, unless things start going pear-shaped.

 

[Easton Dark]

Besides, it'd be pretty boring otherwise, it can take a looong time. Don't really wanna go through that on my own.

You could get the Tetris high score with how long it can take.

"there" is not going to be a hospital, unless things start going pear-shaped.

The... place that's best equipped to handle emergencies if they pop up? Why not?

 

[IckleMissMayhem]

"there" is not going to be a hospital, unless things start going pear-shaped.

The... place that's best equipped to handle emergencies if they pop up? Why not?

Because I hate hospitals, and i would far rather go through childbirth in an environment that I feel comfortable in. Plus, at home, I'd have a midwife that was focused on me, and me alone, (two being present for the birth itself), instead of having to share a hospital-based midwife between up to eight women.

I'm not saying I wouldn't go into hospital if I needed to, but studies have shown that homebirths lead to less complications and interventions than hospital births. Also that transfers into hospitals have little effect on the time taken to arrange such interventions (assisted deliveries and caesarians)

They're my reasons, and I appreciate that some won't agree, and some, like my own mother(!) will think I'm completely bonkers, but it's something I've thought about a lot.

 

[Easton Dark]

studies have shown that homebirths lead to less complications and interventions than hospital births. Also that transfers into hospitals have little effect on the time taken to arrange such interventions (assisted deliveries and caesarians)

They're my reasons, and I appreciate that some won't agree, and some, like my own mother(!) will think I'm completely bonkers, but it's something I've thought about a lot.

As long as your partner is fine with all the laundry he'll have to be doing

I'd be a constant worrier of if it would take to long to get to the hospital if something came up. But if the risk is worth it, sure. No real problem with it.

 

[Zen Toombs]

I have no idea what you're talking about.

Golfing is SERIOUS BUSINESS.

[small]PS, hi, how're you Caramel? And what's your fancy new avatar from/doing?[/small]

Even a guy who's career is to golf, I think he'd want to see his wife give labor. Only certain if not specific situations would excuse you from golfing but yet again that's just my guess.

Working a bit to earn money but happy overall, thus it's great to hear from you Zen :} my Avatar (which I have managed to keep for months now, new record!) and I are trying to do good here on the website. What bout you?

Nods. The only reason I can think of that would excuse a guy missing his wife's labor for golf would be if his wife went into premature labor and he didn't hear about it. Or if he's playing golf to... determine the fate of the world, I guess.

[small]been super busy. got a kitty, sending in manuscript to an undergraduate journal and waiting approval to send a poster to a national conference. super super busy.[/small]

 

[Muspelheim]

It depends. Orders are orders, but knowing me, I'd probably be posted to nervously pace back and forth in the waiting room with half a pack of cigarettes in my mouth.

But of course, if I'm wanted, I'll suck it up and be there. It's just what you do, when you're not the one squeezing out a water melon, you're not really in a position to protest, are you?

 

[RicoGrey]

My wife and I have had two kids, I was there for both, and I plan to be there when the current one is born. I really couldn't imagine NOT being there.

First one was rather easy going, well it was stressful cause it was the first one we experienced, but everything went smoothly.

The second one, my wife's epidural did not take, so she felt the full pain of everything. EVERYTHING. The delivery. The cutting of the vagina, you know, the one they do so the vagina is wide enough to actually pass the baby's head. Depending on the situation they go ahead and cut it, cause a clean cut heals better than one that is split open. It was all sorts of things I can't even mention.

It was rather easy to feel her pain. You could sense it in her face, you could sense it as she squeezed your hand. It was truly a brutal experience.

I still could not see any other way than to be there for her, and our baby.

But to each their own, if a couple decided the woman should be alone, or at least without the partner, that's their choice.

 

[DarthSka]

I would be there for basically two reasons:
-It's the birth of my child. I don't see how I wouldn't want to be there, video camera and all. Besides, I need to train them to be on my side from the get-go. They need to like the things I like and hate the things I hate. I'll probably start beforehand putting headphones playing Star Wars and Zelda music on the mother's belly. What? It could work.

-If I wasn't there, I imagine my woman would kill me. New life followed by death. It's like a metaphor or something.