Sigh....bowser's just kidnapped the princess again...

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Gottesstrafe

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Oct 23, 2010
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Stick with the routine. It's safer than it's predecessor and a better alternative to an all out war of genocide with modern power ups, moral, ethical, and the resulting power vacuum dilemmas notwithstanding.

In the first games, the Mushroom Kingdom was faced with an all out war against the Koopas. Young toadstools were sent to fight an old ascocarp's war as mycelium clashed with turtle shell time and time again in an almost futile effort to stave off an invading army. Then the capital was captured along with the country's ruler, a la France by Nazi Germany during WWII. Rebellious young toadstools (la Résistance) managed to shake off their koopa invaders with the help of a plumber named Mario (foreign intervention), driving them back to their own kingdom (Nazi Germany) and finally confronting and defeating their leader on his home turf.

Compared to those earlier games, Bowser's antics today seem relatively tame. So far he's just skipped the invasion and ensuing bloody war and just gone after the Princess with Mario left to save her, a foreseeably endless number of proxy battles fought between two world powers unwilling to resort to world ending means to defeat the other yet simultaneously unable to pass up an opportunity to flex their muscles in the other's face. While core gameplay mechanics remain the same, new power ups and locals are introduced in each game as technological advances spurred on by the possibility of war stack up and new foreign domains find themselves swayed by the influences of these world powers and their rapidly expanding foreign policies. It'd actually be a pretty entertaining allegory for the Cold War if it hadn't already ended (unlike the Mario franchise). I can easily envision Ronald Reagan taking the place of Mario and Mikhail Gorbachev the place of Bowser.
 

Scarecrow

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Jun 27, 2010
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LFC Scouser said:
Call Bowser tell him to keep her and check the employment listings for kingdoms in need of mindless hero to save kingdom.
You and I seem to share the same avatar...

I kid, I kid
 

Zeema

The Furry Gamer
Jun 29, 2010
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you know What Princess

SAVE YOURSELF

ive never seen a arrest on Bowser or the Electric Chair oh him

its your own fault for not having Guards

ive never seen a Toadstool with a Weapon
 

GrimHeaper

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Jun 1, 2010
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Trezu said:
you know What Princess

SAVE YOURSELF

ive never seen a arrest on Bowser or the Electric Chair oh him

its your own fault for not having Guards

ive never seen a Toadstool with a Weapon
I would assume that is because they have nothing to contain him and has constant minions to break him out. Would be wasted effort.
I also see people suggesting guns, now how did guns work out with Godzilla? Yea,it's about the same considering bowser can survive falling into the sun,lava, having no organs and flesh and has shown the ability to not actually die.
I have seen toadstools with weapons in paper mario as well, they are just that weak is all.
Mario is so much stronger than these guys he can jump about 2000x higher, well except when you play as a toad though then ALL that changes, though multiplayer isn't a requirement for the games I guess so you might not count it.
 

Cheesus333

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Aug 20, 2008
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When an enormous redheaded dragon-tortoise steals your ditzy Princess friend and you're called upon to navigate a world of flowers with eyes and bushes that are the same shape as clouds[footnote] Cool, right? http://images.cheezburger.com/completestore/2009/6/27/128906022581377104.jpg[/footnote] there is only one thing to do.

Get off the Goddamn hallucinogens and do some fucking plumbing.
 

Plucky

Enthusiast Magician
Jan 16, 2011
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Switch the kingdom to a presidental system, then show to him the errors of his ways for thinking he liked her for her, but really he liked her for her power, besides, won't people question his orientation for stealing an asexual mushroom? (sure theres Toadette, thenagain he does have 7 children and even a child called Bowser Jr., if theres a Jr, where's his wife...thenagain Yoshi lays eggs, and Bowser is sort of a turtle reptile dinosaur...thing..could he lay eggs?)
 

Shoggoth2588

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Aug 31, 2009
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WouldYouKindly said:
Let him have that mentally deficient twat. I'll just steal Daisy from Luigi.
Mario and Bowser can fight over Peach
Luigi can have Daisy

I'll take Princess Eclair (the named but never-shown princess mentioned in Thousand Year Door)

Also, I would fire all of the toad-people working security at Peach's castle and replace them with Apperture Science brand Turrets. The talking ones of course.
 

Charli

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Nov 23, 2008
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Leeeeave her. Maybe then Bowser will realize how goddamn personality-less and boring she is and this whole ordeal can just end.
 

Jegsimmons

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Nov 14, 2010
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GreatTeacherCAW said:
Jegsimmons said:
say "FUCKING KEEP HER!!!" and move back to italy to get a SMART woman.
I believe an oxymoron is located in that post.

OT: I don't know why he even bothers anymore. She clearly doesn't put out for fat-ass plumbers. Time to move on, Mario. Get yourself a woman without a chastity belt.
hmmmm...geuss your right

"say "FUCKING KEEP HER!!!" and move back to italy to get a SMART stay home woman House wife."
fixed :D
 

Twilight_guy

Sight, Sound, and Mind
Nov 24, 2008
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I would call up Bowser and tell him to wait on the line then sneak in and steal back the princess. Then I'd move far far away.
 

rockyoumonkeys

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Aug 31, 2010
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I would take the hint. Clearly the princess WANTS to be kidnapped, which either means she'd rather just be with Bowser, or she has some kind of victim complex where she gets turned on by needing to be rescued.

Either way, she's fucked in the head, and I want nothing to do with her. Time to move on.

scorptatious said:
Besides, if Bowser Jr. is any indication, I'd say something is clearly going on between Bowser and Peach.
According to Super Mario Sunshine, Bowser Jr's pretty convinced Peach is his mom.

EDIT: nevermind, maybe not. I guess he spends the whole game thinking it, and then at the end figures out she's not. Oh well. Sigh.
 

Pingieking

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Sep 19, 2009
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Shrug and look for someone better. Seriously, how many times have I rescued her now? She's obviously not going to put out no matter what the hell I do, so just stop wasting time and move on.