?Sometimes when you go to sleep you go on a little walk. And sometimes you talk about a place, called Silent Hill.?
Ok, put yourselves in Rose Da Silva?s shoes for a moment. Your daughter goes sleep walking in front of cars and has nightmares about a town she?s never been to called Silent Hill. After Googling it you find out it?s a ghost town that?s apparently haunted by monsters and nasties. What would you do? I for one wouldn?t drag my daughter there. Yet for some reason Rose decides the best option to cure her daughters nightmares is to make her face her demons? literally. You win Mother Of The Year!
Now I must admit, I have never played a Silent Hill game in my life and had merely a clue to what it was about. I knew there was a town called Silent Hill and it had half naked nurses there. Hmm, I?m in. I swiftly grabbed a copy from the local DVD hire and popped it in late at night when it was dark and the shadows of my room could hide beasts and pedophiles. Curling up to my teddy bear? I mean porno mag (cough), I pressed the play button.
First thing?s first, the acting in the movie is brilliant as everyone does their best impersonations of a piece of wood. After listening to 15mins of them babble off in their monotone acting skills, I was ripe and read to turn the thing off. But I decided to stick it through and struggle on regardless.
I start to get the feeling that maybe it wasn?t the actor?s fault entirely, I mean come on, Sean Bean stared in it for about 2 minutes of screen time and still manage to suck. I have a strange feeling that it was the daft script. How does one deliver a bland clichéd line without sound both bland and clichéd? What led me to this conclusion in the first place is the amount of colossal plot holes; one?s you could sail the Titanic through without it hitting it?s sides. What, too soon?
Asides from the first hole I mentioned above, another that struck me as absolutely dimwitted was the fact that if the daughter had this problem making her wander off cliff edges every night, wouldn?t they consider tying her down? Just putting it out there guys.
Getting off the subject of human stupidity, the story moves on. The mother grabs the daughter and runs away from her husband (Sean Bean), the only sane person in the movie, who warns her not to go to Silent Hill. If Sean Bean asks you to do something, you bloody well do it. Yet, throughout the movie they suffer so I guess it?s their just deserve.
Along the way Rose and co. meet some dominatrix butch lesbian cop girl, that?s just about as scary as half the monster in this flick. Then it struck me how much like a porno this movie is. The acting is shit and they keep throwing in half naked women (nurses for later). I was actually expecting some sort of love relation between the cop and Rose because of how bad the script was.
Plot point: Car crashes in town!
Plot point: Daughter runs into town!
Plot point: Rose meets scary old lady and scary cop lady!
Plot point: Rose runs!
I?m not kidding when I say this; there is a lot of running in this movie. Rose gets a note so she runs all over the town. She sees someone, she starts running. A monster chases her, running again. Entire scenes are made up with her running! I guess it?s a way of cutting down the dialogue, which is a good move by me.
So far it?s sounding like a cheap horror/porno movie right? But I argue you, hire this movie out for the love of god. Why? Silent Hill?s strong points come from its monsters and set design. The town creates an eerie abandoned and utterly nervous feel and the monsters are so imaginative that I was shocked to find myself excited and scared by them. I piddled myself when Rose faced up to a long dead school janitor who?s legs where tied to his head by barbed wire (no doubt). A beast of a man wearing a pyramid helmet tears off the skin of a poor religious nutcase. A man with no arms or face spout black goo from his chest and a group of warped nurses block a darkened hall. I was taken aback by the creativity of the monsters. A somewhat disturbing creativity like a H.R Giger creation, and it did the job to frighten and amaze.
That?s the sad thing about this movie; the acting and story makes it dumb enough to be a cheap hammer horror while the set design and monster creation makes it to be something so much better then it was. It feels unbalanced between the bland characters and the monsters of Silent Hill.
Knowing that so many games-to-movies never work, I was unbiased when watching this film. Since I?ve never played a Silent Hill game I would have no clue that the movie could be shoveling dirt in my mouth and calling it French cuisine. For all I know Silent Hill could be a kids game about stacking colourful shapes on top of each other. I recommend the movie for a one-night hire of some daft acting. It can be fun and there are some scenes in there that can shock, but it?s really for the gore fans only.
Ok, put yourselves in Rose Da Silva?s shoes for a moment. Your daughter goes sleep walking in front of cars and has nightmares about a town she?s never been to called Silent Hill. After Googling it you find out it?s a ghost town that?s apparently haunted by monsters and nasties. What would you do? I for one wouldn?t drag my daughter there. Yet for some reason Rose decides the best option to cure her daughters nightmares is to make her face her demons? literally. You win Mother Of The Year!
Now I must admit, I have never played a Silent Hill game in my life and had merely a clue to what it was about. I knew there was a town called Silent Hill and it had half naked nurses there. Hmm, I?m in. I swiftly grabbed a copy from the local DVD hire and popped it in late at night when it was dark and the shadows of my room could hide beasts and pedophiles. Curling up to my teddy bear? I mean porno mag (cough), I pressed the play button.
First thing?s first, the acting in the movie is brilliant as everyone does their best impersonations of a piece of wood. After listening to 15mins of them babble off in their monotone acting skills, I was ripe and read to turn the thing off. But I decided to stick it through and struggle on regardless.
I start to get the feeling that maybe it wasn?t the actor?s fault entirely, I mean come on, Sean Bean stared in it for about 2 minutes of screen time and still manage to suck. I have a strange feeling that it was the daft script. How does one deliver a bland clichéd line without sound both bland and clichéd? What led me to this conclusion in the first place is the amount of colossal plot holes; one?s you could sail the Titanic through without it hitting it?s sides. What, too soon?
Asides from the first hole I mentioned above, another that struck me as absolutely dimwitted was the fact that if the daughter had this problem making her wander off cliff edges every night, wouldn?t they consider tying her down? Just putting it out there guys.
Getting off the subject of human stupidity, the story moves on. The mother grabs the daughter and runs away from her husband (Sean Bean), the only sane person in the movie, who warns her not to go to Silent Hill. If Sean Bean asks you to do something, you bloody well do it. Yet, throughout the movie they suffer so I guess it?s their just deserve.
Along the way Rose and co. meet some dominatrix butch lesbian cop girl, that?s just about as scary as half the monster in this flick. Then it struck me how much like a porno this movie is. The acting is shit and they keep throwing in half naked women (nurses for later). I was actually expecting some sort of love relation between the cop and Rose because of how bad the script was.
Plot point: Car crashes in town!
Plot point: Daughter runs into town!
Plot point: Rose meets scary old lady and scary cop lady!
Plot point: Rose runs!
I?m not kidding when I say this; there is a lot of running in this movie. Rose gets a note so she runs all over the town. She sees someone, she starts running. A monster chases her, running again. Entire scenes are made up with her running! I guess it?s a way of cutting down the dialogue, which is a good move by me.
So far it?s sounding like a cheap horror/porno movie right? But I argue you, hire this movie out for the love of god. Why? Silent Hill?s strong points come from its monsters and set design. The town creates an eerie abandoned and utterly nervous feel and the monsters are so imaginative that I was shocked to find myself excited and scared by them. I piddled myself when Rose faced up to a long dead school janitor who?s legs where tied to his head by barbed wire (no doubt). A beast of a man wearing a pyramid helmet tears off the skin of a poor religious nutcase. A man with no arms or face spout black goo from his chest and a group of warped nurses block a darkened hall. I was taken aback by the creativity of the monsters. A somewhat disturbing creativity like a H.R Giger creation, and it did the job to frighten and amaze.
That?s the sad thing about this movie; the acting and story makes it dumb enough to be a cheap hammer horror while the set design and monster creation makes it to be something so much better then it was. It feels unbalanced between the bland characters and the monsters of Silent Hill.
Knowing that so many games-to-movies never work, I was unbiased when watching this film. Since I?ve never played a Silent Hill game I would have no clue that the movie could be shoveling dirt in my mouth and calling it French cuisine. For all I know Silent Hill could be a kids game about stacking colourful shapes on top of each other. I recommend the movie for a one-night hire of some daft acting. It can be fun and there are some scenes in there that can shock, but it?s really for the gore fans only.
