Since when was Being a Man Unattractive?
- Thread starter OneBig Man
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I imagine your attitude of giving everyone labels might have something to do with why you're not getting picked up, but I'm not sure.OneBig Man said:
Seriously, I'm a hippy because I've got long hair and you think being a "hippy" is something bad?
Anyway, I personally think manners are overrated.
I treat women like people, not like some kind of ultra-rare delicate flower that needs constant protection.
If I like someone, I won't swear in front of them, insult them, hit them or anything like that.. should I really have to do anything more?
I would say not.
Same reason guys like bimbos with big tits.OneBig Man said:
When you first see someone that you like (which usually comes down to physical qualities), you tend to ascribe positive emotional/mental qualities to them as well.
When you first meet someone you hate (usually through a mental quality), you ascribe negative physical/emotional to them as well.
Usually they're all pretty much the same. But a girl with big boobs, or a guy with a big bank account, can make you forget those negative traits even exist. (Depending on your personal preferences: I always found doe eyes get me)
Also, relationships thrive where there's a challenge. If you're going to be nice, why doesn't she keep you as a friend, and shag someone who might be nice to her once in a while? She's already got you as fallback.
The big question is not "Why do girls fall for a-holes?" but rather "Why do you want a girl who likes a-holes?"
And women killed it. XDOmikron009 said:
But seriously, I still believe in chivalry. And when you find the girl that appreciates it, it's worth it. Believe me. ;]
Being a man isn't unattractive, but being a doormat is.
Chances are while you think you are the epitome of what a girl wants, you might be acting the doormat.
Being a nice guy isn't being nice in order to get laid, that's being a false and sleazy guy. Being a nice guy is treating all women well, regardless of whether you want to sleep with them.
If you are decent looking, and fun to be around, then girls will like you (and your chivalrous nature). But isn't it more probable that something about your actions towards women turns them off? Awkwardness, or lack of confidence, trying to be overconfident (and ending up like the ass-holes you hate) or anything really.
If the common factor is you, then look for the most obvious answer. Hint: It isn't that all girls like arrogant dick heads.
Chances are while you think you are the epitome of what a girl wants, you might be acting the doormat.
Being a nice guy isn't being nice in order to get laid, that's being a false and sleazy guy. Being a nice guy is treating all women well, regardless of whether you want to sleep with them.
If you are decent looking, and fun to be around, then girls will like you (and your chivalrous nature). But isn't it more probable that something about your actions towards women turns them off? Awkwardness, or lack of confidence, trying to be overconfident (and ending up like the ass-holes you hate) or anything really.
If the common factor is you, then look for the most obvious answer. Hint: It isn't that all girls like arrogant dick heads.
There is an unfortunatly confusing double standard regarding chivalry. While some women do appreciate it, it's also surprisingly sexist. A lot of women can find it pretty offensive when a man is chivalrous to a woman for the sole reason that she is a woman. Holding the door open for a woman seems like an insignificant and harmless motion, it is actually a small part of a much larger construct of sexism.
There are a lot of very thin lines that are easily crossed. When acting chivalrous, it should be done in the mindset that you are being kind to a fellow human being, not doing it because it's polite and traditional to help women with doors and the like. If you are just doing this for women you don't know in order to be chivalrous, then it does give off the impression that you aren't thinking of them as someone who is on an equal level as you. It's all about intent. Also, if you're holding doors for women you know with the intention of making them feel admired, that's usually okay too.
Chivalry is tricky and touchy, but in the end it's all about your intentions.
There are a lot of very thin lines that are easily crossed. When acting chivalrous, it should be done in the mindset that you are being kind to a fellow human being, not doing it because it's polite and traditional to help women with doors and the like. If you are just doing this for women you don't know in order to be chivalrous, then it does give off the impression that you aren't thinking of them as someone who is on an equal level as you. It's all about intent. Also, if you're holding doors for women you know with the intention of making them feel admired, that's usually okay too.
Chivalry is tricky and touchy, but in the end it's all about your intentions.
I'm distinguishing that kind of thing from the Nice Guy (tm) who doesn't. As such, it's not a high horse, it's a stereotype which all too many men I've met fit in to. You, apparently, do not. It's all in the capitals. "Nice Guy (tm)" versus "nice guy".T3h Merc said:
I don't really think it's Chivalry to offer to help someone with their bags, or opening a door for someone. It's good manners. It maybe because I was raised by my grandparents rather then my parents but when I was growing up, two phrases were drilled into my head "manners matter" and "manners cost nothing, the lack of them can cost a lot".
So... I don't know I guess people don't put a lot of value into manners, when I do something for people, I don't expect anything, I'm doing it because it's the right thing to do, I've got some stink eye looks when I've offered to help strangers with something, but I don't take it personally because they have a right to be weary of motives.
So... I don't know I guess people don't put a lot of value into manners, when I do something for people, I don't expect anything, I'm doing it because it's the right thing to do, I've got some stink eye looks when I've offered to help strangers with something, but I don't take it personally because they have a right to be weary of motives.
