Single advice

[Joeorange]

Here goes. I'm 16, can drive in a month, but I look like I did when I was ten, skinny, baby faced at least this is what I'm told at my job.
I really want a girlfriend. But when it comes to talking to girls I find attractive I have such little self confidence that I can't bring myself to talk to them none the less find something to say. I have so many questions so here goes. How do I build up confidence? What do I say? Where do I go after mindless chit-chat?
Any advice is appreciated. But please don't tell me to value what I have. I hate what I have.

 

[RatRace123]

Well, you've come to... a very weird place honestly. I mean, yeah we get a lot of people talking about their dating troubles here, but this is first and foremost a gaming and general nerd culture site. Not that I'm saying we'll turn you away, of course.

But, I would just suggest you just ask them something, or talk to them. Build a report, gain a friend or an aquaintance, I know that that first step is hard, but if you make it, then... yay.
As for confidence bulding, just try to talk amongst yourself. I've found that projecting with a deeper more throaty voice inspires confidence in me.

Welcome to the escapist, there's cake... somehwere and avoid the basement.

 

[DigitalSushi]

Your only 16 confidence comes with going out more and speaking with more people, but your in those awkward years in that your too old to for some groups and too young for others.

I know how you feel kid, I was the same at your age, just test the waters by having standard conversation with shop keepers when in they're shop like "nice weather", shit like that.

 

[arsenicCatnip]

Welcome to the Escapist, first off. The basement is to the left, and avoid the cake. ...wait.

OT: Being a girl, my suggestion is just mindless chit-chat. Talk about the weather, the movie you saw recently, the way the sun makes reflections on the lake, the dog that you got last year. ANYTHING. Just talk.

 

[BringBackBuck]

How to build up confidence? Play to your strengths. You have a job, which many people your age don't, which probably means you are not as lazy as your peers, or at the very least have a bit of disposable income. So what if you are not built like Dolph Lundgren, I'm sure you have many valuable qualities. Faking confidence will get you halfway to actually having confidence.
What to say to girls? I don't know - they are just people. With boobs. Talk to them like you would anyone else.

That's about all I've got for advice, but don't worry, BonsaiK will be on this thread soon and will sort your shit right out.

These sort of threads are like a bat signal to him.

 

[MercurySteam]

I am MercurySteam, and I am here to ask you a question. Is a man not entitled to the sweat of his brow? "No" Says the man at Ebay, "it belongs to the poor". "No" says the Man at religioustolerance.org, "it belongs to God". "No" says the man at Facebook, "it belongs to everyone". I rejected those answers. Instead; I chose something different. I chose the Impossible. I chose. The Escapist. With a forum where the opinionated would not fear the censor (within reason), where the Moderators would not be bound by petty morality, where the Gone Gonzo would not be constrained by the troll. And with the ache of your fingers (and perhaps a new keyboard), The Escapist can be yours as well...

I'm sure by reading this you may notice we're a gaming forum, but with all these questions about relationships I think we're goning to need a section in the forum for these threads.

Welcome to The Escapist. It's safer here.

 

[Alakaizer]

Practice the art of massage. It's not great for ice-breaking, but it can help down the line. If you still live with your mother(it's ok at 16), offer her a foot or shoulder massage. I didn't get a choice with that one, but it has helped me out a great deal. Practicing with someone like your mom will help improve your technique and get you used to contact without "expecting" anything. Women will appreciate it when you do something where all the benefit is for them, and you can also remember that no rejection will ever be as bad as rubbing your mother's feet. Trust me on this.

 

[Joeorange]

I'm not new I made an account just for this post if you catch my drift. And yeah it's an awkward time. Oh and I can massage feet I just have no feet to massage.

 

[Broady Brio]

Pretend that shes a friend? Then when she likes you then strike.

Just make sure she doesn't put you into the friend circle.

 

[deus-ex-machina]

You're 16? Get a job. I don't think I was ever as bad as you, but I had terrible nerves when it came to public speaking and it helped me feel more confident.

 

[Joeorange]

Where is Bonsaik at I hear he is the hitch of the escapist.

 

[vento 231]

OK, what works for me is to just go up and say: "excuse me, but your very beautiful and I was wondering if you already had plans on saturday." then get a number and see her then, there is very little to mess up.

 

[procyonlotor]

Walk up to her and go, "Hey, I'm Dave, wanna get a cup of coffee?".

Well, you get the picture.

Also, I am told that if you're not being turned down at least three times a week you're not trying hard enough. But that could just be a joke.

 

[Joeorange]

Remember to date. Date a few girls.
When they go on like you're in a mini-marriage and they want you all the time to themselves, remind them that you're dating.

That said to your problem.

Talking to girls isn't hard. Ask them questions that you honestly care to hear the answers for.

"What do you think of pokemon?"
"I think a bunch of fags play pokemon."
"Oh, cool. I'll see you later."

That's a possible scenario. The point is you asked a question, she replied, and you may either agree or disagree with her opinion. Continue this, but not in an annoying manner. Talk about things you find in common with them as soon as possible. Let's say..

"So what do you think about guys who play pokemon?"
"I think they're bitches because they keep trying to get my Slaking moved to the over powered list. Bunch of cu.."
"I know! I traded him out tho' because of that and found out that I really like Umbreon."
"Umbreon?! OMG, I want your seed!"

That can happen. Just ya know switch the pokemon nerd talk to possibly something like music or art. I know a lot of young ladies seem to like that Music television channel on the boob tube.

wow I'm a total pokefag and you just spoke too me on such a deep level of understanding. Thank you!!!

 

[Mockingjay]

First, your appearence: it doesn't matter. If you want to be with a girl you find attractive you'll have to wait for one that finds you equally attractive else the relationship has a good chance of failing. I'm a whiny ***** when it comes to how I look, I hate it (I have a baby face too, perfectly round and adorable, not what a girl wants, you can imagine), but I don't openly express it and thus people either don't notice or don't care. If you appear confident girls will appreciate you a whole lot more and approach you, I guarentee it.

Wanting a girlfriend is fine, but being desperate for one is not. Please, wait for the right person instead of looking for one you can adapt to. It'll be unlikely that you'll be happy otherwise.

I have never been self confident but it's easy to feign it and it does make you feel more confident within yourself. If I were you, if you want to build your confidence, go get a haircut, some new clothes and act like you like yourself. You'll feel the difference.

 

[Evil the White]

Heh, I'm in a similar position to you, except I'm taller than when I was ten. Just relax, and if it works, it works. Something that I've learned through three horribly failed relationships.

Oh, and the most important thing, don't sound really needy or like you just want any girl, rather than the one you're talking to. Seriously,

[HEADING=1]DON'T SOUND REALLY NEEDY AND DESPARATE[/HEADING]

It puts girls off.

 

[Continuity]

Here goes. I'm 16, can drive in a month, but I look like I did when I was ten, skinny, baby faced at least this is what I'm told at my job.
I really want a girlfriend. But when it comes to talking to girls I find attractive I have such little self confidence that I can't bring myself to talk to them none the less find something to say. I have so many questions so here goes. How do I build up confidence? What do I say? Where do I go after mindless chit-chat?
Any advice is appreciated. But please don't tell me to value what I have. I hate what I have.

Make a mess.

Seriously just wade in there and fuck it up, its all good experience and you might even get lucky... you've got nothing to loose at your age and so much to gain, go for it. Trial and error is the only real way to learn and you learn Sooooo much from mistakes, believe me, so don't be afraid to look like a tit or to end up in an embarrassing situation.

Edit: If that doesn't take your fancy though try acting totally uninterested in her... its a cheap shot but you'd be surprised how often it works. You have to work it just right though.