What the thread title says. At the turning of the year, I'm looking at the Dragon Born in the mirror and asking him to change his ways.
1. Stop bullying giants: I have too long engaged these placid man-children in fights to the death for fun and profit, leveling up my light armor, one-handed, and restoration skills while farming the souls of giants and their adorable pets. I'm surprised they haven't brought me before a special tribunal at the Hague for crimes against enormity.
2. Stop being a shite absentee Arch-Mage: Seriously, I'm barely ever there. I can only imagine what the earnest acolytes think of the burly, carapaced jock asshole who stumbles into their midst every couple of months to try to sell them two dozen "used" Black Mage Robes. I should really just give the job to that beardy guy who taught me to cast wards.
3. Stop breaking the world's economy by flooding the market with weakly enchanted iron daggers: Proftable in so many ways, but in the end, we all lose. And Tamriel doesn't have a Germany to bail it out when the goldback devalues past a certain point.
4. Stop the needless slaughter of goats to raise my sneak skill: Deer and elk at least yield meat, but I find it hard to justify shooting something I'm not going to eat.
5. No more practical jokes on Falmer: Calling a blind guy "cheese brain" and then running away giggling is only funny for a while...albeit a fairly long while.
6. Be a better husband: As if it weren't bad enough that I took a feral amazon and stuck her in the kitchen to yawn and munch on bread. I've really been kind of a crap husband. I'm rarely home and when I do make one of my feeble attempts an conversation, it's usually to ask for money or food. I pledge to spend more time at home and not to parade my female "housecarls" around the house in Forsworn armor while my wife slaves over a cooking pot. This leads handily into my final resolution:
7. Stop playing Skyrim: I have two other unfinished tripple A games on deck. Yeah, this has just gotten silly.
(edited twice for spelling and grammar)
1. Stop bullying giants: I have too long engaged these placid man-children in fights to the death for fun and profit, leveling up my light armor, one-handed, and restoration skills while farming the souls of giants and their adorable pets. I'm surprised they haven't brought me before a special tribunal at the Hague for crimes against enormity.
2. Stop being a shite absentee Arch-Mage: Seriously, I'm barely ever there. I can only imagine what the earnest acolytes think of the burly, carapaced jock asshole who stumbles into their midst every couple of months to try to sell them two dozen "used" Black Mage Robes. I should really just give the job to that beardy guy who taught me to cast wards.
3. Stop breaking the world's economy by flooding the market with weakly enchanted iron daggers: Proftable in so many ways, but in the end, we all lose. And Tamriel doesn't have a Germany to bail it out when the goldback devalues past a certain point.
4. Stop the needless slaughter of goats to raise my sneak skill: Deer and elk at least yield meat, but I find it hard to justify shooting something I'm not going to eat.
5. No more practical jokes on Falmer: Calling a blind guy "cheese brain" and then running away giggling is only funny for a while...albeit a fairly long while.
6. Be a better husband: As if it weren't bad enough that I took a feral amazon and stuck her in the kitchen to yawn and munch on bread. I've really been kind of a crap husband. I'm rarely home and when I do make one of my feeble attempts an conversation, it's usually to ask for money or food. I pledge to spend more time at home and not to parade my female "housecarls" around the house in Forsworn armor while my wife slaves over a cooking pot. This leads handily into my final resolution:
7. Stop playing Skyrim: I have two other unfinished tripple A games on deck. Yeah, this has just gotten silly.
(edited twice for spelling and grammar)
