Sleep Lightly

[Hey Joe]

Put you in a cage in the front lawn with a sign saying 'do not feed the animal'

Also, shave you. Completely.

 

[Tattaglia]

I'd gather five of my friends, make them all wear business suits and turn on various heaters within your bedroom. When you wake up we will all crowd around you and demand your attention before showing you a contractual blood pact to Satan. Then you will sign it.

Oh yes, you will sign it.

 

[Clairaudient]

Oh god, if all these things really happened I feel sorry for myself. It's bad enough having to type this from a dog cage on my lawn after being mailed to China. There was some interesting stuff I'd never heard of before on here. Thanks doods.