Slowclap awards for genuine stupidity

[Bravo 21]

A girl in my 8th grade history class put a granola bar, while still in it's foil wrapper in the microwave...

I'll repeat that because it bears repeating: She put a foil-wrapped granola bar in the microwave...

Who the fuck microwaves a damn granola bar?!

Well now i'm tempted to find out what would happen. If I did, would it heat up, would the foil reflect the microwave rays, or would something explode? I will have to try this, FOR SCIENCE!

 

[Eisenfaust]

I still genuinely don't know the physics behind why the troll-science magnet-car wouldn't work... granted, i haven't done anything even partially related to a hard science (ie: physics) in about 4 or 5 years, but still

also a legal debate (while drunk, naturally) about killing someone with anaphylaxis, i came up with this gem...
"yes, but legally speaking, a peanut butter sandwich is different to a knife!"

never imagined i'd say those words

also

A girl in my 8th grade history class put a granola bar, while still in it's foil wrapper in the microwave...

I'll repeat that because it bears repeating: She put a foil-wrapped granola bar in the microwave...

Who the fuck microwaves a damn granola bar?!

i've done worse... i brought a garlic bread home from work one night, treid to reheat it. granted, i was tried, but still...

it was a garlic bread wrapped in foil wrapped in a paper bag... turned around for a second and suddenly the microwave is on fire... rather hilarious in hindsight

strange how all my examples are things i've said/done... hmmmm

edit: ooooh, another work based one...
customer comes in orders, told it'll be 15 minutes, leaves... comes back in 45 minutes later
customer: where's my pizza! why didn't you bring it out to us?!
me: we keep them in store until someone picks them up...
customer: But we're sitting outside in our car! We could see you!
me (losing patience): except it's dark, and there are 30 cars outside...
customer: well we couldn't sit inside! someone was sitting on the chair!
me: but... there are 4 chairs, and two of you... one person sitting in one chair isn't an obstacle to you sitting on any of the other 3...
customer: THAT'S IT, I WANT TO COMPLAIN! LET ME SEE A MANAGER!
me: i AM the manager...
customer: let me speak to your boss...
me: i can't give out that information
customer: then i'll call someone!
me: and they'll put a complaint through... to me...
customer: well you should have told us, and the customer is always right!
me: unfortunately that's a misconception only ever held by the customer...
customer: *flabberghasted silence - walks out*

i love fucking with people

 

[Entropyutd]

A friend of mine said something dumb, I asked him if he had a lobotomy for breakfast.
His girlfriend piped up "No he had Cornflakes"
I couldn't stop laughing for ages.

 

[tzimize]

So Many to Choose from lets see

when i worked at KFC

[start slow clap]

Customer: Can i have a Big Mac
me: Sorry Sir we do not sell 'Big Mac's'
Customer: why not?
me: um, because we don't sell Big Mac its a McDonald's food item
Customer: Well what about the fridge?
me: um, Excuse me?
Customer: the fridge with the drinks in it. how much for the Fridge?
Me 'We Don't Sell Fridges.
Customer: Then why have it out the front?

[finish]
_____________________________________________

Girl: Schendler's List is so Fictional everyone no's that Nazi's are from space

or dear

HAH! Fantastic...asking to buy the fridge. Man...its so cool that stuff like this happens, and people post about it for me to read. Also...its mindboggling how stupid some people can be.

 

[mattttherman3]

Just remembered this one: Grade 12 english class(granted it was a French as a first language school)
Teacher is doing a lesson on how to conjugate properly becuase apparently half the class couldn't do it right.

Girl: Wait wait wait! What's a verb?

Teacher's jaw just dropped, he walked out of the class and stayed out for 10 minutes.

 

[steeple]

More than half the people I tell I am Jewish in ethnicity think I believe in Judaism. When I correct them, they say I'm not Jewish then. *slow clap*

not necessarily stupidity, since it's possible they just don't view judaism as an ethnicity...
I mean, at least a small portion of them...

OT: the justin bieber video posted earlier forced to take off my glasses so I could face-palm correctly...

 

[Ren3004]

This takes the cake here, I won money because of it.

Friend: I have Zelda for my PS3.

Me: That's impossible, is it hacked?

Friend: No I bought it from walmart the other day.

Me: Bet you 20$ it isn't Zelda

Friend: You just lost 20$ my friend.

Yeah I won 20 bucks that day.

What was it?

As for myself, I'm gonna go for the girl who, after I told her that cells were living, asked me if sperm cells talked.

 

[Alon Shechter]

A history teacher asked us where in history we'd go to if we had a time machine.
Some guy answered the holocaust.
Some girl answered the Titanic.
I answered the Battle of Stalingrad
And then a different girl raged and called me and the guy Nazis because we want to go back to that time.
She wanted to go back to 9/11 to warn everybody and tell them to gtfo the building.

Then again, I've had my share fair of being called a Nazi just because i'm an Atheist, so maybe I shouldn't be surprised.

Certainly not stupid enough to call you a nazi - or a comunist for that matter - but I gotta ask man why the Battle of Stalingrad?

Well, for some reason I have this absurd interest in it, and reading so much, seeing so much pictures, I wanted to see it for myself.
To watch, mind you, not to do something that will change the course of history.

 

[Griffolion]

Elementary school. We were all playing tag when a bomb threat was called in at the middle school. A chopper flies overhead with the Maryland flag emblazoned on it.

"The British are coming! The British are coming!" - entire Elementary school playground panicking because they thought the state flag was the British flag and that we were being invaded.

Damn right the British are coming. Hide yo' kids.

 

[Dwarfman]

A history teacher asked us where in history we'd go to if we had a time machine.
Some guy answered the holocaust.
Some girl answered the Titanic.
I answered the Battle of Stalingrad
And then a different girl raged and called me and the guy Nazis because we want to go back to that time.
She wanted to go back to 9/11 to warn everybody and tell them to gtfo the building.

Then again, I've had my share fair of being called a Nazi just because i'm an Atheist, so maybe I shouldn't be surprised.

Certainly not stupid enough to call you a nazi - or a comunist for that matter - but I gotta ask man why the Battle of Stalingrad?

Well, for some reason I have this absurd interest in it, and reading so much, seeing so much pictures, I wanted to see it for myself.
To watch, mind you, not to do something that will change the course of history.

That's a fair call. Personally I'd prefer someplace warmer like Tobruk