So a punk is messing with you and your friends....

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Steppin Razor

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Dec 15, 2009
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Eh, probably something along the lines of saying "Nothing mate, just don't touch me". And then if he decides to keep being a dickhead I'd walk outside of the place and then beat him so badly even his mother won't love him anymore. And if he still wants to keep it going after that, my car has a nice metal wheel brace I can use to keep beating on him until he learns the error of his ways.

child of lileth said:
Shove him through one of those walls of glass most restaurants have near the doors. Then say he drunken stumbled through it when they try say I need to pay. It's worked in the past at least.
This idea could work too. Followed by beating on him with the wheel brace for good measure.

...I seem to have a bit of an obsession with using my wheel brace to beat on things recently >.>
 

WolfThomas

Man must have a code.
Dec 21, 2007
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"Fly's undone" Then walk away. If he does follow and starts something, then I fight back with plenty of witnesses in my corner.
 

Jackalb

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Dec 31, 2009
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Surely setting him on fire is the only logical solution?
Fail that recently I have been well up for a fight so I'd probably jump in.
 

Nouw

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Mar 18, 2009
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olendvcook said:
Breath in his face and hope my breath smells really bad.
I cracked up. Thanks.

"What do you want punk. Feeling lucky?" I would say or ignore him. Comes again and say hello to pain.

Depending on which friend of course. One of my friend's has zero tolerance for fags and it's all fist then.
 

xXDeMoNiCXx

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Mar 10, 2010
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Legion IV said:
xXDeMoNiCXx said:
Depends on my mood. If I'm in a good mood I'll tell him to fuck off and walk away BUT if I'm pissed or don't feel like dealing with him I'll cut him and hid butt-buddies down with the knife I carry with me everywhere I go in my back pocket.
So lemme get this straight. If your slightly annoyned you'll possibly commit murder. Jesus i never knew the escapist was so violent. This all people do these days carrying knives? Like a fist fight will just get you beat bad but your using a fing knife that could kill somone. Man this thread is morbid.

Lol what i learned being in some bleh areas when i was a kid was. Try to talk your way out of it. Unless there incredibly drunk or part of a gang they really dont want to cause you very damaging pain that will get you hospitilzed cause they dont want the police on them. That fails you run. That fails you fight with your fists non of these attempted murder knives.
No if i\m pissed off I'll do that. And that's 20 years of pent-up rage for ya so judge someone who cares.
 

Fridge

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Jun 25, 2009
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Buchholz101 said:
So, follow me on this hypothetical.

You are sitting in a restaurant with your friends and 4 guys at the table next to you are shouting, throwing food and proving themselves to be God's illegitimate children that he prefers not to talk about.

So by coincidence, your group and their group leave at the same time. As you head towards the door, one of the punks walks into you and--clearly drunk--pushes you. And when you turn around to confront him he gets within 4 inches of your face and says "What do you want?"

So, what is your response?
Something similar did happen once to me. In my case it was more a "what are you looking at?" to which the response was "A drunken fool apparently". So in the case of the question "What do you want?" I would say "An apology".
Of course you have to be willing to stand up for yourself if worse comes to worse.
 

Thespian

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Sep 11, 2010
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If he's right up in my face, lick his nose.

Either he's acting tough, and I can escape whilst he is confused, or he beats the everloving crap out of me but I still got the fun of doing something random.
 

The Stonker

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Feb 26, 2009
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Buchholz101 said:
So, follow me on this hypothetical.

You are sitting in a restaurant with your friends and 4 guys at the table next to you are shouting, throwing food and proving themselves to be God's illegitimate children that he prefers not to talk about.

So by coincidence, your group and their group leave at the same time. As you head towards the door, one of the punks walks into you and--clearly drunk--pushes you. And when you turn around to confront him he gets within 4 inches of your face and says "What do you want?"

So, what is your response?
Give him a lolipop and then kick him in the nuts.
Then I would beat the living shit out of the rest of the group.
 

laststandman

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Jun 27, 2009
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Vomit all over him. I guarantee you he will book it.
Or you could drop to the ground and start shaking all over, if he doesn't run immediately, shout to him "Get a doctor!" Which will either make him run, freeze up in terror, or actually get a doctor. If a doctor comes, stand up before he/she sees you, act perfectly fine and say "these gentlemen appear to be drunk, I am perfectly fine, we were just leaving."
 

Spinozaad

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Jun 16, 2008
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Depends on how the others of his group are.

If they, too, are having a Violent Drunk, than I fear that combat is inevitable. If they look somewhat reasonable, I'll try to remain reasonable and diffuse the situation.

Although, in my experience, that's unlikely.
 

Dogstile

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Jan 17, 2009
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"Fuck off"

I'm big enough to not care. My friends are all big enough to not care.
 

Skorpyo

Average Person Extraordinaire!
May 2, 2010
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Pummel his sorry, drunk ass into the pavement?

I'm a BIG ************. No one does that to me.
 

hurfdurp

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Jun 7, 2010
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Mr Montmorency said:
I don't have any friends. This hypothetical situation is impossible for me. Problem averted.
Wow, you and I have escaped so many perilous situations by being friendless. Clearly we are doing something right!
 

Blemontea

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May 25, 2010
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"For your ego to step out of the building so me and my friends can get through the door. as for you... you can stay were you are, your scrawny ass wont get in the way." Slide them aside, and walk through.
 

omegaT

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Sep 3, 2010
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"I want to tell you about the good word of the one true religion... the First National Church of Cthulu"
 

Mr.Squishy

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Apr 14, 2009
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Funny answer: Gouge his eyes and push him so he falls, all the while letting out a blood-curdling roar of "DING!" (cookie for reference)
Serious answer: Try to just walk away/resolve it peacefully, but if that don't work, my friends (depends on how many I'm allowed to bring) are respectively a guy with experience in tae kwon do, Judo, self-taught martial arts and the rabid fury of a dire badger, a huge, hairy metalhead, and a lean, surprisingly strong speedster with a decievingly harmless look(We just call him the ferret xD).
 

GoldenRaz

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Mar 21, 2009
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Really, I'd probably just laugh in his face. Or make some snarky comment about that it was rude of him to push me.
I'm the worst at having the 'natural' reaction to stuff, so I'd just laugh at the non-present hilarity of the situation. And do my best to make him seem a fool.