Hey guys.
This is a little story of what just happened in my life.
I'm 22 years old and never had a girlfriend. I'm not exactly bad-looking, it just never happened for some reason. I always felt very lonely for almost a decade. Oh, and I am german by the way, which may explain some grammatical or stylistic errors.
So I went on a date with this girl. When we had to part ways, I asked her if I could kiss her goodbye and she said that she didn't mind. So I kissed her and I put my tongue in her mouth and I sucked on her lip and she held me close and she had her eyes shut so tight and... I lost track of time. I don't remember breathing. My whole world consisted of her mouth and her mouth alone. Then she sadly had to take her train. I walked off the station and when the realization kicked in that this just ACTUALLY HAPPENED I was cringing with glee. I completely lost composure which is very unusual for me and just danced around. I was hooting and jumping around like an idiot. Mindlessly running in circles and throwing my cap through the air until I was out of breath. People looked at me funny but I couldn't care less. Then I took my train home but I still giggled uncontrollably from time to time. I was totally high, high on the drugs my own body was producing. It's 5 am now and there's no way I could sleep. Sometimes I have happiness attacks that are so intense, it's almost too much. I can only hug myself and and bear the rapture that is shaking my body. And when it's over I just lie there wasted. A friend of mine once told me that he did a drug a few times that made him so happy it was physically fatiguing. Now I know what he meant.
Now here's the thing. I don't actually love the girl I kissed today. I like her. She is pleasant to be around with and I would like to be her boyfriend but I don't love her the way I loved other girls before. I can not imagine what it would have done to me if my first kiss had been with a girl I truly loved.
I don't know why I am writing this, much less why I am writing this in an english-speaking forum. I was just browsing here, when I had the urge to tell this someone. Maybe someone will think of this as an interesting read.
Later today, I will be playing RE5 Coop. This week's going to be awesome.
This is a little story of what just happened in my life.
I'm 22 years old and never had a girlfriend. I'm not exactly bad-looking, it just never happened for some reason. I always felt very lonely for almost a decade. Oh, and I am german by the way, which may explain some grammatical or stylistic errors.
So I went on a date with this girl. When we had to part ways, I asked her if I could kiss her goodbye and she said that she didn't mind. So I kissed her and I put my tongue in her mouth and I sucked on her lip and she held me close and she had her eyes shut so tight and... I lost track of time. I don't remember breathing. My whole world consisted of her mouth and her mouth alone. Then she sadly had to take her train. I walked off the station and when the realization kicked in that this just ACTUALLY HAPPENED I was cringing with glee. I completely lost composure which is very unusual for me and just danced around. I was hooting and jumping around like an idiot. Mindlessly running in circles and throwing my cap through the air until I was out of breath. People looked at me funny but I couldn't care less. Then I took my train home but I still giggled uncontrollably from time to time. I was totally high, high on the drugs my own body was producing. It's 5 am now and there's no way I could sleep. Sometimes I have happiness attacks that are so intense, it's almost too much. I can only hug myself and and bear the rapture that is shaking my body. And when it's over I just lie there wasted. A friend of mine once told me that he did a drug a few times that made him so happy it was physically fatiguing. Now I know what he meant.
Now here's the thing. I don't actually love the girl I kissed today. I like her. She is pleasant to be around with and I would like to be her boyfriend but I don't love her the way I loved other girls before. I can not imagine what it would have done to me if my first kiss had been with a girl I truly loved.
I don't know why I am writing this, much less why I am writing this in an english-speaking forum. I was just browsing here, when I had the urge to tell this someone. Maybe someone will think of this as an interesting read.
Later today, I will be playing RE5 Coop. This week's going to be awesome.
