I was coming down from my first acid trip. It did not go well. I got very upset in an un-manly fashion. One of those moments I will revisit when I have a time machine with the express intention of beating some sense into myself.
So, how did you break up?
- Thread starter Sviests
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My first breakup was about 2 years ago, I'd been with the guy almost 2 years and it was a crappy relationship. I didn't love him anymore and he probably didn't love me either, he just didnt want to let go.
It was pretty messy, we don't talk anymore.
It was pretty messy, we don't talk anymore.
Hmm .. well I've been married for 5 years but I remember my breakup with the last long-term girlfriend before that, when I lived in Japan. She was an absolute fox and batshit crazy in bed - far more than the other Japanese girls I'd known. We both liked drinking alot so we'd meet up, go to an izakaya, get plastered, and then have drunken 'anything goes' sex at karaoke/in an alleyway/at my place, until we were too tired to continue. Unfortunately - that's all we had. We were a perfect sexual match, but emotionally and intellectually nothing alike. We tried to make it work, but I guess in then end the sex wasn't enough to stay together.
Annnnyway, one Sunday she messaged me saying that she didn't think we were going anywhere as a couple. I replied promptly saying 'yeah, looks like it'. We agreed to hook up the next day (in daylight, in public, and without alcohol - we both knew if it was night time and we were drunk we'd end up shagging again) and finalise things, which we did amicably, and I haven't seen or spoken to her since. Last I heard she'd moved to Okinawa and was dating a US soldier. I guess once she got a taste for gaijin, she got it bad.
I hold no ill-will towards her, and I presume she's likewise - there was nothing particularly negative in our relationship. We had fun when we were together but fun alone ain't enough to keep a relationship going. On a positive note, 2 hours after we broke up I was on my way to a party and saw one of my mates with his girlfriend and some other girl going to the same party. I said to him "I've just broken up with the girlie. Know any single gals?"
I've been with the girl who was on the way to the party for 9 years now, married in 2006, and had a baby boy in 2008.
EDIT: And btw, OP, you sound like Ted Mosby.
Annnnyway, one Sunday she messaged me saying that she didn't think we were going anywhere as a couple. I replied promptly saying 'yeah, looks like it'. We agreed to hook up the next day (in daylight, in public, and without alcohol - we both knew if it was night time and we were drunk we'd end up shagging again) and finalise things, which we did amicably, and I haven't seen or spoken to her since. Last I heard she'd moved to Okinawa and was dating a US soldier. I guess once she got a taste for gaijin, she got it bad.
I hold no ill-will towards her, and I presume she's likewise - there was nothing particularly negative in our relationship. We had fun when we were together but fun alone ain't enough to keep a relationship going. On a positive note, 2 hours after we broke up I was on my way to a party and saw one of my mates with his girlfriend and some other girl going to the same party. I said to him "I've just broken up with the girlie. Know any single gals?"
I've been with the girl who was on the way to the party for 9 years now, married in 2006, and had a baby boy in 2008.
EDIT: And btw, OP, you sound like Ted Mosby.
Well the two I'm not embarrassed to mention, I got them somewhere quiet to talk and then we went into full detail where our relationship works and where it does not, but most importantly where it's headed.
Sure there were still hard feelings but that is unavoidable.
You could also pull the girly bail out and just completely ignore you partner until they go away, then call it being nice enough to let them down easy... oh how they love to pull that.
Sure there were still hard feelings but that is unavoidable.
You could also pull the girly bail out and just completely ignore you partner until they go away, then call it being nice enough to let them down easy... oh how they love to pull that.
Well firstoff I'm not a jealous guy by any stretch of the imagination, but I broke up with my girlfriend simply because she was REALLY flirty and touchy-feely with other guys. I confronted her about it and she said that it was just the way she was, to which I replied that if there's no way she could tone it down a little we'd have to break up, so we did.
Thankfully I made the right choice and it wasn't just me being paranoid - less than a week later she was fucking one of my friends.
Thankfully I made the right choice and it wasn't just me being paranoid - less than a week later she was fucking one of my friends.
She told me she had changed and had lied about loving me for the past two months (of 10) because she was afraid to be alone, but she got over that and left me.
There's no perfect way to break up for the one who is getting broken up with. All I can say is do it quick. Don't tear and slash your way out of her life, just leave it.
It is a straight up slap to the face, and it will suck for her, but it's the cleanest way for you, which is all that matters.
There's no perfect way to break up for the one who is getting broken up with. All I can say is do it quick. Don't tear and slash your way out of her life, just leave it.
It is a straight up slap to the face, and it will suck for her, but it's the cleanest way for you, which is all that matters.
The last one? She was clingy and it got too much. The one before her? She bites. Nasty, not in a good way.
...hm. I've only been broken up with (3 long term relationships in my life).
My advice to anybody this situation would be:
1. Be honest and talk to her like a human being. Be sure to explain why with valid reasons.
2. Do it at her house (driving her home would be brutal)
3. Be gentle and there if she WANTS it (not if she NEEDS it)
4. NEVER, EVER do it in public, when you're with friends, via text, or via Facebook. These are the more comfortable ways of doing it but it's not only disrespectful to her but to the relationship itself. With phone calls there can be SOME exception, but very few.
5. Try to cut all contact for AT LEAST a 4 or 5 days. Even longer might be for the best as well. Give it time. A friendship/acquaintance-ship won't be comfortably formed for a very long time (when dealing with long-term stuff).
My advice to anybody this situation would be:
1. Be honest and talk to her like a human being. Be sure to explain why with valid reasons.
2. Do it at her house (driving her home would be brutal)
3. Be gentle and there if she WANTS it (not if she NEEDS it)
4. NEVER, EVER do it in public, when you're with friends, via text, or via Facebook. These are the more comfortable ways of doing it but it's not only disrespectful to her but to the relationship itself. With phone calls there can be SOME exception, but very few.
5. Try to cut all contact for AT LEAST a 4 or 5 days. Even longer might be for the best as well. Give it time. A friendship/acquaintance-ship won't be comfortably formed for a very long time (when dealing with long-term stuff).
