So I got friendzoned (not a bitching thread, don't worry!)

[Nickolai77]

I've had an an annoying tendency to end up being friendzoned even when i intentionally tried to avoid it. More recently though i've decided to focus less on the girl of interest and focus more on influencing the wider social group in the hope that it gets me the right sort of attention. Can't say if it works or not because i'm bloody indecisive when it comes to girls and for that reason i tend not to ask them out.

But yeah, my advise to anyone who finds they often get friendzoned would be to focus more on standing out in the crowd of your friends. See if that works.

 

[burningdragoon]

Well... ignoring the whole "friend zone doesn't exist" view, if someone rejects you and you are okay with it, you weren't "friendzoned" in the first place.

 

[MisterGobbles]

If you think that friendship is always superficial fun, or that talking to your friends about their problems should be considered a chore, then perhaps you need some better friends. Granted, you can't really be expected to forfeit your sleep schedule for someone, but you should at least be understanding of the request.

Maybe. I'd listen to other people's problems and "be there" for them whatever that entails. In my limited experience with it, I tend to make people feel worse in those situations, so it's possible I'm just not that type of guy. I don't see that as a chore. Doing random ass favors all the time (as friendzone whiners have mentioned in the past) is a chore.

Well yeah, just because you're their friend doesn't mean you're their *****. I've had friends (mostly male) who've simply asked me to do too much shit for them, and it does start getting annoying, especially when you feel that it's all they see you for. Being there for friends is important, but you can't simply do everything they ask. Being there for people when they need emotional support is the most important; even if you can't make them really feel better by what you say, just the fact that they have someone to talk to will help immensely.

 

[BiscuitTrouser]

And I found myself really falling for her, but kept delaying asking her a simple question: "Can we be more than friends?"

999% of all friendzone stories contain this line You took rejection maturely and well like an adult and not like an angered child. This is good. This is how to establish healthy relationships.

Id say with this new knowlegde you can handle rejection you should be more assertive and tell people how you feel. Talking to a girl you like for a LONG time without telling her when you feel it "could" happen is like living an incredibly awkward charade. Why bother? Be straight with people and things often go your way. People like to know where you stand.

Despite having had two girlfriends i was utterly rejected by both. I told them how i felt and they said they didnt feel the same way. I was fine with that and acted like a normal friend. When they started returning my feelings in the future they knew where i stood and everything was easier. Its a nicer way to live your life. Much simpler. Everyone knowing where you stand is a good thing. The exceptions are when they are in a relationship of course.

 

[manic_depressive13]

I really dislike the term "friendzone". You didn't get friendzoned. You just got rejected.

 

[Euryalus]

Good for you I guess, but I've never really liked the idea of "Friendzoning."

 

[AwesomeWunderbar]

Good for you! I think the girl would be happy as well. That she didn't lose a friend.

Also, I don't truly understand this whole friend-zoned thing. If the girl doesn't like you she doesn't like you? And why dose it seem "friend-zoning" only applies to males?

 

[rosac]

Friend zoning can apply to females too, I think they're just less vocal about it.

 

[Guffe]

You mean to tell me... that somebody... on the internet... got turned down by a girl... and is acting like a mature human being about it?

You just made me laugh mate!

On Topic:
Not sure if I've actually been friendzoned ever...
Most girls I am friends with are somewhat attracting but I never asked them out and just enjoy their company a lot.

 

[Bassik]

Good for you! I think the girl would be happy as well. That she didn't lose a friend.

Also, I don't truly understand this whole friend-zoned thing. If the girl doesn't like you she doesn't like you? And why dose it seem "friend-zoning" only applies to males?

Friendzoning is just a neat word for being turned down for a romantic relationship without losing the friendship. You don't hear a lot of women whine about it on the internet because it's not something you should whine about. Better then outright rejection, right? At least you keep your friend.

 

[dangoball]

I'm in a similar situation right now. Me and this nice girl just talked about it over a beer and then joked about it when waitress assumed I would cover the whole bill (not that I would mind, luckily most of my female friends don't support using male friend as a walking wallet). Now we are good friend with stuff to talk about and I don't run the risk of her crying on my shoulder 'cause of "abusive douche boyfriend"! That's because she decided dating is not for her (I assume that will change in time, even tough she thinks it's a permanent state of mind for her, but whatever).

So there you go! All the good and none of the bad of this so-called "friendzone"

 

[Angie7F]

Maybe i am too proud, but if i get friend zoned I move on.
I hate to think that they will think and/ or tell other people that I wanted to date but they turned me down and now we are just friends.

 

[V TheSystem V]

One of my exes was my best friend for a time, and a girl I was friendzoned by was my best friend for about 3 years, so friendzoning isn't always something that ends a friendship with someone.