So... I just found out my brother is gay.

[GrimTuesday]

Today I was talking to one of my younger brothers and the topic of relationships came up, and after him mocking my non-existent love life, we started talking about his. He's always been fairly neutral when it comes to sex, so I've never really given much thought about it but when I asked him if he had a girlfriend, he instead told me that he was, in fact gay. Personally, it doesn't bother me so much that he is gay, more that he felt that he needed to keep it a secret, perhaps some of the homosexual users of the Escapist can give me some insight on that.

For discussion, have you ever had an experience like this, how did you react?

 

[Biosophilogical]

Well, did he actively keep it secret, or did he just feel that his personal life is none of your business? I mean, did he ever say he was straight?

 

[RedEyesBlackGamer]

One of my uncles. My reaction? Meh. Doesn't really change anything.

 

[CM156_v1legacy]

When my cousin "Krista" told me they were becoming "Kris" (I understand that Transgendered =/= gay) , I was a bit shocked, and told them I needed a moment.

We have a decent relationship, and I call him the older brother I never had (Which he really likes)

 

[AnOriginalConcept]

I would be utterly casual about it. "Cool story, bro. Seen any hot dudes?"

Edit: I've never been in this situation, but this is how I'd want to react.

 

[Lyri]

Nobody has ever done that to me really, I'd figure I'd be ok with it though. Rather open minded on the whole.

 

[onyx452]

I just nodded my head, thanked them for telling me and saying, "This doesn't change anything. You're still a douche but you're my douche," and kept going.

 

[Dags90]

I think the only time I ever really actively lied about my sexuality was when I was really young. Most 13 year olds aren't ready to come out and it's kind of a dick move to not let them do it on their terms in general. My brother was so nonreactive to my coming out I actually wasn't sure he had heard me for a few days.

 

[GroovyV]

I have been in a similar situation, (though replace gay with bi, and replace your brother, with me), and for the most part, the guy who found out just took it in stride. He's very mellow.
He just thought it was cool cuz of the best of both worlds thing.

In the gay case though, i guess asking him when he found out/did he always know. Letting him for sure know that you don't mind can help if he ever wants to talk with someone who knows ?

 

[Aura Guardian]

My friend told me he was gay. So I asked him..Scale of 1-10, how am I?
"2"
Fuck you dude.
"hahaha"

 

[Eldarion]

Today I was talking to one of my younger brothers and the topic of relationships came up, and after him mocking my non-existent love life, we started talking about his. He's always been fairly neutral when it comes to sex, so I've never really given much thought about it but when I asked him if he had a girlfriend, he instead told me that he was, in fact gay. Personally, it doesn't bother me so much that he is gay, more that he felt that he needed to keep it a secret, perhaps some of the homosexual users of the Escapist can give me some insight on that.

For discussion, have you ever had an experience like this, how did you react?

Its hard to come out with it sometimes, even to loved ones. Society tried really hard to make people ashamed of any sexual thought whatsoever, its tough growing up gay.

I don't know your brother, but it was probably a big deal telling you. Even if it was slipped into casual conversation. Thats how I came out to my parents, I was to afraid to sit them down just to tell them.

A close friend of mine came out to me, it was like a weight came off him. I was glad to be there for the guy.

 

[Saelune]

Well, I am not out to my own brother, despite how close we are. It is mainly because we are so close that it scares me to tell him. I doubt he has no idea though, but still.

 

[Blindswordmaster]

I was thoroughly disappointed, I was hoping we would discuss what to do, but you want examples of someone coming out to us? That's not fun at all. No, I don't actually know any gays.

 

[emeraldrafael]

One of my best friends is homosexual. Though it was usually obviously, especially when he went all out and started caressing me.

I just calmly stated I dont play that field, and he should find those that do.

 

[Mookie_Magnus]

He felt that he had to keep it a secret at first because he was afraid that you'd react negatively if you found out. I went through the same thing when I was thinking about telling my mother about my sexuality.

Despite the increasing amount of ambivalence towards homeosexuality, there is still a large amount of negativity towards it. So many people think that it's just confusion, or that it's an abomination... Some people still believe it's a choice...

The fact that he told you means that he trusts you... you should be proud and thankful.

 

[Snake Plissken]

"Cool story, bro. Seen any hot dudes?"

Just for the record, I lol'd.

 

[GrimTuesday]

Well, did he actively keep it secret, or did he just feel that his personal life is none of your business? I mean, did he ever say he was straight?

Its not so much that he kept it secret, he just never really said anything when I asked him if he had a girlfriend in the past. My family is pretty open with each other about things like this so there isn't really any feelings that the rest of the family should stay out of ones personal life. Sexuality is not a big deal to us, although my dad and his side of the family might have a problem with it.