So... I just found out my brother is gay.

[ZydrateDealer]

He either thought your parents/you/your pets would disapprove or that it wasn't worth mentioning...kinda like how I've never come out as straight to my parents, though it's kind of implied by the presence of my girlfriend. Still he's your brother he probably just thought he was protecting you or something...we little brothers are weird sometimes, but now he knows your okay with it, no worries I guess.

 

[Atheist.]

Well, I am not out to my own brother, despite how close we are. It is mainly because we are so close that it scares me to tell him. I doubt he has no idea though, but still.

If you're that close I can almost promise he wouldn't mind. Though it may depend on your ages. Obviously not trying to push you into something you're uncomfortable or scared of, but confidence in yourself and people you care about never hurts (Well, not often anyways. X.x).

 

[Watchmacallit]

Well...No one knows with my brother. I have my suspicions but he won't say. He claims he's straight, and he could be but no one seems to think he is.

No one would really care less, I wish he would hurry up and get in a relationship so I could know lol

 

[Internet Kraken]

First my brother told me he was gay. Then he told me he was a bisexual. Then he told me he was a transsexual. I honestly don't know what to think about him anymore. He's still my brother, and I love him all the same, but I have no clue what how I'm supposed to treat this. I can't even really call him my brother when he changes his sex. But that's what I've been thinking of him as for 17 years. Hard to adjust to this.

 

[Saelune]

Well, I am not out to my own brother, despite how close we are. It is mainly because we are so close that it scares me to tell him. I doubt he has no idea though, but still.

If you're that close I can almost promise he wouldn't mind. Though it may depend on your ages. Obviously not trying to push you into something you're uncomfortable or scared of, but confidence in yourself and people you care about never hurts (Well, not often anyways. X.x).

Me and confidence dont get along apparently. And in the back of my mind I KNOW he will have no problem with it, but it still is scary.

 

[GrimTuesday]

I was thoroughly disappointed, I was hoping we would discuss what to do, but you want examples of someone coming out to us? That's not fun at all. No, I don't actually know any gays.

I was going to do that until I realized I already knew how to react. I'm thinking about starting a thread on /b/ asking what to do for the lulz.

 

[Irony's Acolyte]

Well I guess the closest thing was figuring out that one of my uncles was gay. For the longest time I didn't realize it (probably because I didn't even know that anything other than heterosexuality existed) but suddenly the points began to get connected in my mind. Course it was over quite some time, so there was never any sudden moment of revelation. Other than that I haven't ever had an experience even close to yours.

 

[Atheist.]

Well, I am not out to my own brother, despite how close we are. It is mainly because we are so close that it scares me to tell him. I doubt he has no idea though, but still.

If you're that close I can almost promise he wouldn't mind. Though it may depend on your ages. Obviously not trying to push you into something you're uncomfortable or scared of, but confidence in yourself and people you care about never hurts (Well, not often anyways. X.x).

Me and confidence dont get along apparently. And in the back of my mind I KNOW he will have no problem with it, but it still is scary.

Yeah, I can definitely see your point there. Even the slightest though of him shunning you would be pretty scaring, especially if you're that close.

 

[Dags90]

Me and confidence dont get along apparently. And in the back of my mind I KNOW he will have no problem with it, but it still is scary.

My mom's best friend is gay, is openly bisexual and is generally an older, browner and louder version of Margaret Cho and I still didn't come out to her until I was 17.

I remember figuring out that her best friend is gay. I was sort of like "Oh, that explains the boyfriend" and "So that's what that's called."

 

[thrillingsuspense]

although my dad and his side of the family might have a problem with it.

This is easily more than enough to make him not want to be open about it. I knew none of my friends would care, but I still never came out to them until they asked. Society has worked for decades to make it a taboo subject. And the thought of being responsible for creating any sort of rift in the family, no matter how small or how unlikely, is terrifying.

 

[TimeLord]

I would never tell my friend or family I was bisexual unless I actualy had a boyfriend first.

 

[Vault101]

When my cousin "Krista" told me they were becoming "Kris" (I understand that Transgendered =/= gay) , I was a bit shocked, and told them I needed a moment.

We have a decent relationship, and I call him the older brother I never had (Which he really likes)

so she had a sex change?

I wasnt even sure that was physically possible..as female to male (if thats what happened)

your right in being Transgendered and gay isnt the same thing, I found it made alot more sense if I imagined them as (in this case...I think) a man but he has a females body

 

[BlackWidower]

Did you ask why he didn't tell you?

 

[CM156_v1legacy]

When my cousin "Krista" told me they were becoming "Kris" (I understand that Transgendered =/= gay) , I was a bit shocked, and told them I needed a moment.

We have a decent relationship, and I call him the older brother I never had (Which he really likes)

so she had a sex change?

I wasnt even sure that was physically possible..as female to male (if thats what happened)

your right in being Transgendered and gay isnt the same thing, I found it made alot more sense if I imagined them as (in this case...I think) a man but he has a females body

In the process of it now. I'm sorry if it was vague in the first post.

Back in High School, on of the students came out to the class. My response? "Cool", and then went back to looking at the textbook.

 

[GrimTuesday]

although my dad and his side of the family might have a problem with it.

This is easily more than enough to make him not want to be open about it. I knew none of my friends would care, but I still never came out to them until they asked. Society has worked for decades to make it a taboo subject. And the thought of being responsible for creating any sort of rift in the family, no matter how small or how unlikely, is terrifying.

Thats true, but we don't live with my dad and only see his family on holidays. Like I said, my family (my brothers and my mom) are all very accepting of that sort of things. He has always been the one who disliked conflict, so the thing about creating a rift could be part of it.

Did you ask why he didn't tell you?

He said that he didn't know how to tell me, I don't know if it was because he was unsure of how I would react, or if he just didn't know the best way to bring it up.

 

[JointDC36]

My sister came out of the closet about a year ago. It is weird at first, anyone that says it isn't didn't pay attention to the nervous twitch that crawled down their neck. It's always just more of a surprise, then it is anything. But nothing ever changes. She's still my sister. Your brother is still your brother.

A few days after she came out I was actually talking to her about all the exGFs my older brother had and the ones I had, and which ones were hotter... I won that competition.

To give some insight though, I don't think my sister was ever trying to keep it a secret, you just gotta look at it from their perspective. As weird as it is for you to hear it, it's equally as weird for them to share it. Given all the stereotype and hate that it can garner. Being gay has torn families apart. You never can be 100% sure how people are going to react to something that could potentially alter their entire opinion of you. So the fact that you didn't go "super bigot" on him, instills trust. Show support and stand beside him in his lifestyle, because he isn't going to change.

 

[AnkaraTheFallen]

Today I was talking to one of my younger brothers and the topic of relationships came up, and after him mocking my non-existent love life, we started talking about his. He's always been fairly neutral when it comes to sex, so I've never really given much thought about it but when I asked him if he had a girlfriend, he instead told me that he was, in fact gay. Personally, it doesn't bother me so much that he is gay, more that he felt that he needed to keep it a secret, perhaps some of the homosexual users of the Escapist can give me some insight on that.

For discussion, have you ever had an experience like this, how did you react?

Your brother probably just felt a bit awkward about telling anyone, not just you.

I still haven't came out to my parents... though that's cause I know they'd reject me for it.

 

[Sejs Cube]

Had this happen, though it was a longtime friend rather than a sibling.

Just shrugged, told 'em that meh, doesn't matter to me if you're gay or straight. You're my friend and if you're happy, then I am happy.