If he told you about it, he probably wasn't really hiding it.
It's one of those "Why didn't you tell me?" "You didn't ask." scenarios.
It's one of those "Why didn't you tell me?" "You didn't ask." scenarios.
So... I just found out my brother is gay.
- Thread starter GrimTuesday
- Start date
Recommended Videos
Pretty much this.That Hyena Bloke said:
Though I'm out to my friends, but not my family. The whole acceptance things seems to be based on age rather than anything else. It did take about three weeks for my friends to realise I wasn't joking, since I was just that combination of manly and average that they didn't really belive it.
If my brother and/ or best friend ever came out to me I'd just say "So that's why you're always such a pain in the arse. Ba-Dum-Tish".
Really, I see no reason to have to 'come out'. You're gay, good for fucking you. Now don't parade it about or you'll look like a git. And if you parade it around and then are offended that someone is annoyed by that, you need to get down to earth.
No one ever comes out for being straight, because no one really cares. The only issue is meeting a nice man/ woman and not knowing their sexuality. It shouldn't be ignored like race should be, but sexuality isn't something that needs to be shouted out to everyone. If they ask, say so. Don't be ashamed, but don't be obsessed with it to the point of wearing one of those fucking 'Gay people exist, get over it' T-shirts.
Really, I see no reason to have to 'come out'. You're gay, good for fucking you. Now don't parade it about or you'll look like a git. And if you parade it around and then are offended that someone is annoyed by that, you need to get down to earth.
No one ever comes out for being straight, because no one really cares. The only issue is meeting a nice man/ woman and not knowing their sexuality. It shouldn't be ignored like race should be, but sexuality isn't something that needs to be shouted out to everyone. If they ask, say so. Don't be ashamed, but don't be obsessed with it to the point of wearing one of those fucking 'Gay people exist, get over it' T-shirts.
One of my friends came out as gay last summer, I really didn't mind. I was kinda surprised though, we always joked about it because he spends a lot of time in the gym and is pretty damned muscular, so I know a lot of women who liked him. Although it sort of makes sense, we never really thought he was. We just take the piss in a joking way, because we always take the piss out of everything in a joking way.
How young is this brother, it sounds far more likly that it simply hadn't come up as a topic than an actual secret, as a corallary when do people have to say that they are straight.GrimTuesday said:
I have no brothers and neither of my sisters claim to be gay so I can't say I have any experience of immediate family members being gay, some more distant family members are gay but didn't need to and didn't tell me they were gay.
Yeah being gay or bi and facing the idea of coming out can be very stressful and worrying. No matter how open the others you want to tell seem.
Theres a saying. "Its one thing when someone else is gay, but a whole other matter when its your own kid".
ie. For many parents they can seem open up until their own kid announces they are gay and things can snap.
Almost every resource such as lgbt podcasts will suggest keeping it quiet at least until you feel ready to come out or can support yourself and move out if *bleep* hits the fan.
You didn't mention how much younger he is, and I dont need to know. But that can be a large factor in coming out. I didn't know my own sexuality until my early 20's once i began having experiences.
And back to podcasts etc, they will also suggest not coming out too soon as things can change, sexuality can be quite wibbly wobbly at times... The so called Kinsey scale.
He may feel purely gay now... then later on find himself exploring with a woman and deciding he is bi, or not. In the early days things can be quite fluid and prone to change once real experiences follow.
For myself, the first time I caame out was to work people after I had been sacked... I know that sounds odd, but it gave me the liberation of knowing that if they freaked out then I would not be going back there anyway.
I came out to my younger sister one day when she had a gay friend over who she had been to college with. And no, I wasn't trying to hit on the guy. Just made me think if she had a gay mate that she could not freak out towards me, and she didn't thankfully.
I have decided in my case its better to let my parents die in ignorance, that sounds harsh but they include a christian mother and bigoted father. Both of which are quite old now and I basically leave it as they dont need to know about my sexuality and desires so long as they see me going out etc.
Thankfully here in the UK law also prevents work from giving you grief based on sexuality and if anyone has an issue or causes trouble then HR have to support me or face legal action against them. So I am out at work quite happily, the last guy who tried calling me a "Batty Boy" seriously regretted it after.
Yes you have to be careful with the likes of that but also know what you can get away with, when someone is teasing and when the really are trying to be offensive and need putting in their place.
Theres a saying. "Its one thing when someone else is gay, but a whole other matter when its your own kid".
ie. For many parents they can seem open up until their own kid announces they are gay and things can snap.
Almost every resource such as lgbt podcasts will suggest keeping it quiet at least until you feel ready to come out or can support yourself and move out if *bleep* hits the fan.
You didn't mention how much younger he is, and I dont need to know. But that can be a large factor in coming out. I didn't know my own sexuality until my early 20's once i began having experiences.
And back to podcasts etc, they will also suggest not coming out too soon as things can change, sexuality can be quite wibbly wobbly at times... The so called Kinsey scale.
He may feel purely gay now... then later on find himself exploring with a woman and deciding he is bi, or not. In the early days things can be quite fluid and prone to change once real experiences follow.
For myself, the first time I caame out was to work people after I had been sacked... I know that sounds odd, but it gave me the liberation of knowing that if they freaked out then I would not be going back there anyway.
I came out to my younger sister one day when she had a gay friend over who she had been to college with. And no, I wasn't trying to hit on the guy. Just made me think if she had a gay mate that she could not freak out towards me, and she didn't thankfully.
I have decided in my case its better to let my parents die in ignorance, that sounds harsh but they include a christian mother and bigoted father. Both of which are quite old now and I basically leave it as they dont need to know about my sexuality and desires so long as they see me going out etc.
Thankfully here in the UK law also prevents work from giving you grief based on sexuality and if anyone has an issue or causes trouble then HR have to support me or face legal action against them. So I am out at work quite happily, the last guy who tried calling me a "Batty Boy" seriously regretted it after.
Yes you have to be careful with the likes of that but also know what you can get away with, when someone is teasing and when the really are trying to be offensive and need putting in their place.
I'm bi, but I haven't come out to anyone else yet. I don't really want to unless I actually get a boyfriend. Then I'll kinda be forced to tell them.
I'm as close to a Kinsey zero as you get, but my wife's bi. Doesn't bother me. Her brother's gay, and a guy I know is planning to become a girl I know when he can afford it.
I don't want to read slash fiction because it simply doesn't appeal to me - but what real people get up to in their private lives is none of my business. People are people.
I don't want to read slash fiction because it simply doesn't appeal to me - but what real people get up to in their private lives is none of my business. People are people.
yeah same. but it would be with a lady instead of a dude.since I am a lady.TimeLord said:
actually even with my parents I will never tell them. I mean a really catholic father and a mother who was never religious but "promise" the church that she would keep their interests in the house.
also fantastic avatar!
My mother is a lesbian and has been openly so for many years. I don't really mind, she's happy with who she is, and I'm happy.
So you prefer to be the one being spooned rather than being the one doing the spooning? Also, I think Non-Americans in general are less touch crazy than Americans (and perhaps other places). Any sort of affectionate physical contact between adults in the U.S. is considered to be sexual until proven otherwise. I remember there was a rather grizzly incident in which a pair of Ecuadorian brothers were beaten (one to death) because they were mistaken for gay in NYC.tghm1801 said: