So, I just got hit by a van...

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Chairman Miaow

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Nov 18, 2009
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There I was cycling to work when I found myself flipping through the air. It's all surface level cuts and bruises other than one thing. My teeth. Up until now I have had no dental work, fillings/caps etc. but now, I have two massive chunks out of the top front teeth.

Make me feel better with pictures (Pictures of Spiderman!) and such. Not fussed what of, preferably just amusing. While you're at it, share your stories of crashes/accidents and the like and how you made yourself feel better.
 

Kopikatsu

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May 27, 2010
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As far as accidents go, I managed to cut off most of the middle toe on my right foot when I was little. My sliding mirrored door was broken so that the bottom of it looked like a saw. One day I decided to make a ladder out of some boxes to reach a toy my mother'd put at the top of the closet and fell. Grabbed the door for support and ended up slamming it shut. Over my foot. Bye bye, toe. The toes on either side of that one healed without scars though, so that's cool.

Didn't really do anything to make myself feel better. Ate some ice cream, I think, but that's kind of it.
 

Dirty Hipsters

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I've told this story on this forum before but I got hit really hard by a bicyclist once. I was walking in the middle of the sidewalk and the ************ hit me right in the back. He didn't even have a reason to be on the sidewalk in the first place because there's a designated bike path on the road right next to the sidewalk. Anyway, I didn't expect to get hit so I came crashing down like a 6 foot tall pile of bricks, attempted to brace my fall with my hands and ended up spraining one of the wrists and fracturing the other. The bicyclist got up off the ground, picked his bike up and rode away. He didn't ask if I was ok, didn't apologize, just picked up and fucked off.

I walked the next half mile home in a lot of pain and wrapped my wrists when I got there. Couldn't drive myself to the doctor because I wasn't sure I'd be able to turn the steering wheel on my car so I waited 3 hours for my roommate to come home so that he could drive me. Not a fun day.

About 3 weeks later I saw the same biker again, still riding his bike on the sidewalk even though there was a perfectly good bike path there. I was so fucking livid that when he got near me I kicked his bike over. He flew off head over heels and I picked up his bike and chucked it into a ditch. Turned to him, gave him the finger (with the hand that had a cast on it) and left. I've never felt bad about that and I never will. I hope he broke his leg and had to drag himself home, but I'll never know. Made me feel a hell of a lot better though. All the movies that say revenge isn't the answer are full of shit.
 

Addendum_Forthcoming

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Feb 4, 2009
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I got rode off the road by a car deciding to overtake in a blind corner ... launching my motorbike (and myself) into a dirt trench and 150 meters into a nature reserve. I don't know how, but I managed to stay on my (a classic motorbike, not 'old') 1984 model XJ900 whilst dodging tree trunks and rocks. I honestly don't know how I did it but I took a sports tourer through terrain that even a person on an Enduro would think twice about, and apart from some badly scratched up fairing all in all me (and my bike) were relatively unscathed.

Never caught the guy's plates and it took me about an hour to safely get her back to some drivable surface I actually felt comfortable riding on without risking tumbling down a forested hill.
 

BathorysGraveland2

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One day I thought it was a wise idea to ride down a steep road at full speed while trying to pull a wheelie. Not only was the road very steep, it also had a corner. I'm sure I don't need to tell you what happened next. Well the consequences was a broken wrist, so bad that the bone actually penetrated through the skin, and one of my teeth puncturing my upper lip. I still bear the scares to this day. My arm was in a cast from shoulder to fingers for weeks.

As for what I did to cheer myself up? Well somehow I learned how to play one of the old Need for Speed games on the PS1 one-handed with the controller. Thanks to long fingers and my ability to stretch them far, I guess. Got fairly competent at it too.
 

Caiphus

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Not reeeeally an accident. I once had a turn on a quad bike at a friend's farm. Overestimating the size of my balls, I took a sharp corner too fast, accidentally jammed my thumb against the throttle when I suddenly tried to brake, actually sped up through the corner, and slammed into a very sturdy fence. My shin, trapped between the pedal and something else (I can't remember), was what stopped me flipping over the handle bars. So that swelled up to the point where it looked like I had a second knee halfway down my left shin.

But impressive fortitude, OP! Next time you play d&d, add 2 points to CON or something.

Edit: The man below me has it right, this thread needs photos. Photos of Spiderman!

Well I don't have any of those.
 

Thaluikhain

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Everyone seems to have skipped the pictures of Spiderman bit.

And now I have "Out of the Woods" stuck in my head.
 

Cowabungaa

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I got hit twice, if I remember correctly, but without any injuries to speak off. Once got me flat out on a car's hood but I only ended up with a big case of "what the fuck just happened?"

Relevant to the subject, said driver, and from reading this thread more drivers too, had a big case of:
 

Twintix

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Dirty Hipsters said:
While I don't think that revenge is the answer...Honestly? I would've done the same thing, dude. I fucking hate people like that.

OT: That's...kinda scary. Here, have this video. It might cheer you up a bit.

As for crashes? Well, I crashed my moped about 4 years ago. It was completely my own fault, though.
I was driving home from school and chose a counteryside road that I usually took when getting to school. I drove a bit too fast in a curve, which almost sent me into a ditch, so I slowed down and drove on the wrong side of the road for about 7 seconds.

Suddenly, there was a car right in front of me, previously hidden by some trees. I steered hard to the right, but not hard enough to prevent a collision. I flew diagonally over the front of the car and landed on the ground.

My moped was a complete wreck, the road was covered in "splinters" from it and the other dude's car got covered in engine oil from my moped. (Aside from that, though, it wasn't actually that damaged) Thanks to my naturally sturdy build, all I suffered was some scrapes, a huge bruise on my right inner thigh and some pain in my right hip. However, if I had driven just a bit faster, I might've not dodged it in time, and the damages would've been larger.

I got very shaken about all of it. Other scenarios played out in my head (What if I'd hit someone else? A person out for a walk? A dog? A mother with a child, or a baby carriage?), and they disturbed me so much that it's the main reason why I didn't start working on a driver's license for two years. I'm also not as flexible in my right hip as I was Before the crash.
 

RicoADF

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Jun 2, 2009
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When I was young I was riding down a street near mine which was on a slope down to a park on the river side, I had flown down that road many times and gone between 2 metal posts without any issue. So this one day I'm flying down there aiming between the posts as normal and about 2 meters away I notice there's a chain now between them.

This was just as I was going from road to dirt/pebbles and grass.... I remember thinking "ah crap". All I saw was green, other colours, and blue. Next thing I knew I was laying on my back and looked up to see my bike fall to it's left and catch on the chain.

Got back up without a single injury, abiet confused as to where the chain came from. Cursed it abit as I got on my bike and rode between the other posts where I could get through.
 

Spaceman Spiff

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Sep 23, 2013
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I got hit by a van about 6 years ago. I was in a car though, which is lucky because the guy was doing 45mph when he rear-ended me. I was last in a line of cars stopped on a county highway, waiting for the lead car to turn left into a driveway. The collision totaled my car and gave me some whiplash, no permanent injuries luckily.

Also, sexy Spider-man:
 

Redlin5_v1legacy

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Yikes! D:

I hope that driver stopped to ensure you were okay!

 

sky14kemea

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Jun 26, 2008
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Here's a "Bro Dragons" comic made by this fun artist [http://floccinaucinihilipilificationa.tumblr.com/].


I'm glad there wasn't any serious damage. I hope these pics and stuff cheer you up!

I've never really been in those kind of accidents, though I probably will in the future due to the way I cross the roads like a startled deer.

Closest I've been is when I walked out and this car braked right next to me. Scared me so much I actually put my hands on his bonnet. He leaned out the window and yelled at me but I was too shaken to sass him back and just stood on the pavement for a minute while he drove off. ;~;


Actually, I've been inside a car when it hit a concrete pillar on the side of the car I was in. My mum was very stressed and it was affecting her driving. But I dunno if I should count that 'cause no one was hurt and I was laughing the entire time. (My poor mum, though...)
 

Happiness Assassin

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Oct 11, 2012
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I had the same thing happened to my teeth playing football at school without protective gear. Do they know if the roots on those teeth have died? 'Cause if so, your teeth may end up turning black.
 

Colour Scientist

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Jul 15, 2009
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Funnily enough, my boyfriend's dad ran over my foot with his car the other day when he was dropping me to the airport.

I was getting my bag from the back seat and he moved the car forward over my foot. I can walk on it fine but I have a tyre mark bruise on my foot!

I don't think he likes me. :/
 

DefunctTheory

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Mar 30, 2010
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A cop car hit me with its mirror once. I was walking home, in the ditch (Its the woods), and a cop car comes shooting down hill going at least twice the speed limit (Which is 35mph). The road, being in the woods, is kind of 1.5 lines wide - There's no wiggle room, so when you pass cars going the other way, your wheel is almost in the ditch.

I was on the opposite side of the road, but the cop was going so fast, around such a steep turn, then it crossed into the oncoming lane, and clipped me with its mirror. I didn't break anything, but even that little bit of a hit was enough to spin me like a top and dump me on the ground. It was also hard enough to flip the cops mirror in (It was one of those plastics deals where it bends in if you need to when parking).

The cop, hilariously, did not stop.

Man, I'm in a story telling mood today.

Also...

Spaceman Spiff said:

And on the cute side...


Colour Scientist said:
I don't think he likes me. :/
Anyone who's willing to take you to an airport likes you to some extent, regardless of the foot damage distributed.
 

Colour Scientist

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Jul 15, 2009
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AccursedTheory said:
Anyone who's willing to take you to an airport likes you to some extent, regardless of the foot damage distributed.
I don't know, maybe it was all just a cunning ruse so he could do it while making it look like an accident.

Either way, my foot isn't broken so either I'm invincible or he needs to put more air in his tyres.

I'm leaning towards the former.
 

Lightknight

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Nov 26, 2008
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Got blind-sided by a text and driver once. Thankfully she admitted it to the police when they got there and the check they gave me really made me feel better about it.

Seriously, fuck people who text and drive. Yes you, whoever you are if you're reading this and are one. You're not special and able to magically drive without looking. You are putting everyone's life in danger and should be ashamed.