So I like this girl, but still I am confused...

[Deadlock Radium]

Hi Escapist! I've been awake for 4 hours longer than I usually am, mostly because I cannot sleep due to something I need your help with.

I'll just cut to the chase:

Two months ago, I met this one girl, and I started talking to her. We talked a lot together, and we got along quite nicely. I got to know that she likes British humour (Like Monty Python etc.), she speaks English with a British accent[footnote]This is in Norway btw, and I speak with a British accent too.[/footnote], she's got a lot of stories that I find interesting and all that, and most importantly, her personality is fantastic. All this added up to me beginning to like her.

Now here is where the problems start..

We'd been talking a lot, and then suddenly, she started ignoring me. She didn't answer my texts, and then she didn't answer that often on Facebook-chat[footnote]According to her best friend, which is a close friend of mine too, she doesn't really answer on FB-chats anyway.[/footnote].
I am starting to like her more and more for each day that passes by, and when we meet at school, she smiles at me and seem very happy all the time around me. Now, I don't know if she likes me, and I think I'm on the verge of actually falling in love with this girl, as we do keep contact with each other. It's just that I'm afraid of her not wanting to talk to me if I ever say that I fancy her. What should I do? If I tell her I fancy her and she ignores that, I'll be the most pathetic student at my school[footnote]Seeing as I recently moved and have gotten a few friends, but not that many.[/footnote], and will probably be ridiculed by a lot of people then.

Now, I'm going to a party on thursday[footnote]Because we've got the Friday off, and everyone in my year will have a party known as a "Russ-kickoff". Read more about Russ on Wikipedia [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Russ] if you wonder what it is.[/footnote], and she'll be there. I'm planning on getting smashed, and maybe even telling her what I feel if I get a moment alone with her, which is very challenging, as she's got at least one of her friends around her at all times .__.

Now, I repeat my question, what should I do about my situation? I really want to be with this girl, and even if I can't be together with her, just hanging out with her is making me more of a happy and a more enjoyable person, and I do not want to lose that, though I probably will if I tell her I fancy her.

 

[Ham_authority95]

Hi Escapist! I've been awake for 4 hours longer than I usually am, mostly because I cannot sleep due to something I need your help with.

I'll just cut to the chase:

Two months ago, I met this one girl, and I started talking to her. We talked a lot together, and we got along quite nicely. I got to know that she likes British humour (Like Monty Python etc.), she speaks English with a British accentThis is in Norway btw, and I speak with a British accent too., she's got a lot of stories that I find interesting and all that, and most importantly, her personality is fantastic. All this added up to me beginning to like her.

Now here is where the problems start..

We'd been talking a lot, and then suddenly, she started ignoring me. She didn't answer my texts, and then she didn't answer that often on Facebook-chatAccording to her best friend, which is a close friend of mine too, she doesn't really answer on FB-chats anyway..
I am starting to like her more and more for each day that passes by, and when we meet at school, she smiles at me and seem very happy all the time around me. Now, I don't know if she likes me, and I think I'm on the verge of actually falling in love with this girl, as we do keep contact with each other. It's just that I'm afraid of her not wanting to talk to me if I ever say that I fancy her. What should I do? If I tell her I fancy her and she ignores that, I'll be the most pathetic student at my school Seeing as I recently moved and have gotten a few friends, but not that many., and will probably be ridiculed by a lot of people then.

Now, I'm going to a party on thursday]Because we've got the Friday off, and everyone in my year will have a party known as a "Russ-kickoff". Read more about Russ on Wikipedia [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Russ] if you wonder what it is., and she'll be there. I'm planning on getting smashed, and maybe even telling her what I feel if I get a moment alone with her, which is very challenging, as she's got at least one of her friends around her at all times .__.

Now, I repeat my question, what should I do about my situation? I really want to be with this girl, and even if I can't be together with her, just hanging out with her is making me more of a happy and a more enjoyable person, and I do not want to lose that, though I probably will if I tell her I fancy her.

You've got this. Go ahead and talk to her at the party, tell her how you feel about her. Protips:

-It doesn't matter whether friends are around her or not. If anything, it tells her that you've got balls of steel to approach her with her friends near.

-Don't come off as if you're completely, deeply in love with her when you haven't been in a relationship yet. That drives girls away because it screams "desperation" and "high maintainance".

-Again, make yourself seem like a FUN person to be with, don't pull out the romance yet.

-Don't get so smashed that you'll say a bunch of shit to her that you'll regret in the morning. General advice here. Drink to loosen yourself up(it's a party after all), but don't be "That really wasted guy who shouted I LOVE YOUU!!! over and over again to me."

-If it doesn't work out, there are others, don't worry.

 

[Deadlock Radium]

I'm not going to pretend I'm your dad or that I understand Norweigian drinking culture, but my advice is not to get smashed. Women in my experience are rarely impressed by guys who get smashed. A single drink to calm your nerves is okay, maybe a second if you are experienced and can hold your liquor. But no more. You want to be relaxed, but not so uninhibited that you say or do something you would normally never do (or vomit on her shoes).

I appreciate your concerns, but I do think that I'll be able to handle the drinking and vomiting quite easily. I just become more of a friendly-person when I have drunk a lot, and I have never vomited (Though I have drunk some seriously strange shit in my time.

I say just talk to her alone. If her friend is there, ask to have a couple minutes alone. Don't be self-deprecating. Don't apologize for being attracted to her. Let her know you're interested. If she turns you down, don't panic. Show (don't tell) her that you can deal with that. She might not want to be around you after that, or she might be okay if you don't drunkenly make a scene. You can control how you respond to her. You can't control how she chooses to respond to you. And you shouldn't want to try.

Thanks, this paragraph sorta inspired me. I've been imagining many approaches in my head for a couple of days/weeks now, and I haven't found the best possible angle of approach yet, but I am comfortable that I will find some way to tell her how I feel without shouting "I love you" or something.

You've got this. Go ahead and talk to her at the party, tell her how you feel about her. Protips:

-It doesn't matter whether friends are around her or not. If anything, it tells her that you've got balls of steel to approach her with her friends near.

I actually know her friends very well, so I might've been able to tell the girl how I feel around them too, it's just that I feel that it'd be a little awkward if I did so.

-Don't come off as if you're completely, deeply in love with her when you haven't been in a relationship yet. That drives girls away because it screams "desperation" and "high maintainance".

I know better than yelling "I love you" to people, so that would hopefully not be a problem.

-Again, make yourself seem like a FUN person to be with, don't pull out the romance yet.

I'm trying

-Don't get so smashed that you'll say a bunch of shit to her that you'll regret in the morning. General advice here. Drink to loosen yourself up(it's a party after all), but don't be "That really wasted guy who shouted I LOVE YOUU!!! over and over again to me."

Not planning on getting that smashed, as I want to remember what happens that evening.

Thanks for the advice, I will try telling her what I feel very soon. I must also talk to her friend to get to know if there's a proper angle of approach that might help my situation.

 

[Deadlock Radium]

Well, fuck my life.

I went to the party last night, confident that I'd get the opportunity to talk to her alone, and I saw her for a fraction of a second, then she disappeared. I sat down in a sofa and chilled, talking to two of my mates, when I saw her holding hands with a guy. I immediately assumed the worst, but kepy my cool.

Later that evening, there were nominations (It was a fancy dress party), and the girl I like and that guy stood beside me at the bar, and when the nominations were done, and we could go back to dancing, she looked at me and smiled confidently, then she grabbed the guy's hand and went to the dance floor with him once again.

Now, that depressed me very much because I feel that my life is at the level of shit in a ditch right now, and that just made it worse. What followed was chain smoking half a pack of cigarettes (I do not regularily smoke, just when I'm drinking and are stressed), while friends of both her and mine sat around me telling me that it wasn't that bad. I later on got a "confirmation" from one of both mine and her close friends that she saw me as a friend.

I just want to dig myself into the ground and die now, because I have this feeling that I really like her, and there's not been anything going on between her and the guy for almost 24 hours, so I am not sure if they ever did more than dancing, let alone form a relationship.

The worst thing is that I never got the opportunity to talk to her..

 

[Xeraxis]

Well, fuck my life.

I went to the party last night, confident that I'd get the opportunity to talk to her alone, and I saw her for a fraction of a second, then she disappeared. I sat down in a sofa and chilled, talking to two of my mates, when I saw her holding hands with a guy. I immediately assumed the worst, but kepy my cool.

Later that evening, there were nominations (It was a fancy dress party), and the girl I like and that guy stood beside me at the bar, and when the nominations were done, and we could go back to dancing, she looked at me and smiled confidently, then she grabbed the guy's hand and went to the dance floor with him once again.

Now, that depressed me very much because I feel that my life is at the level of shit in a ditch right now, and that just made it worse. What followed was chain smoking half a pack of cigarettes (I do not regularily smoke, just when I'm drinking and are stressed), while friends of both her and mine sat around me telling me that it wasn't that bad. I later on got a "confirmation" from one of both mine and her close friends that she saw me as a friend.

I just want to dig myself into the ground and die now, because I have this feeling that I really like her, and there's not been anything going on between her and the guy for almost 24 hours, so I am not sure if they ever did more than dancing, let alone form a relationship.

The worst thing is that I never got the opportunity to talk to her..

You've got to understand that you can't get them all. Believe me, I have been in a similar situation as to yours before, and I experienced the same unpleasant result. As hard as it is to break from it, you are going to have to move on. Most likely, some really DID happen between them during the party.

Try not to beat yourself up. It will do no good.

 

[Deadlock Radium]

Well, fuck my life.

I went to the party last night, confident that I'd get the opportunity to talk to her alone, and I saw her for a fraction of a second, then she disappeared. I sat down in a sofa and chilled, talking to two of my mates, when I saw her holding hands with a guy. I immediately assumed the worst, but kepy my cool.

Later that evening, there were nominations (It was a fancy dress party), and the girl I like and that guy stood beside me at the bar, and when the nominations were done, and we could go back to dancing, she looked at me and smiled confidently, then she grabbed the guy's hand and went to the dance floor with him once again.

Now, that depressed me very much because I feel that my life is at the level of shit in a ditch right now, and that just made it worse. What followed was chain smoking half a pack of cigarettes (I do not regularily smoke, just when I'm drinking and are stressed), while friends of both her and mine sat around me telling me that it wasn't that bad. I later on got a "confirmation" from one of both mine and her close friends that she saw me as a friend.

I just want to dig myself into the ground and die now, because I have this feeling that I really like her, and there's not been anything going on between her and the guy for almost 24 hours, so I am not sure if they ever did more than dancing, let alone form a relationship.

The worst thing is that I never got the opportunity to talk to her..

You've got to understand that you can't get them all. Believe me, I have been in a similar situation as to yours before, and I experienced the same unpleasant result. As hard as it is to break from it, you are going to have to move on. Most likely, some really DID happen between them during the party.

Try not to beat yourself up. It will do no good.

Well, it's happened to me over 10 times the last four years of my life. My love life is one giant train wreck, and I'm just so fuckin' tired of it being this miraculous disaster that it is. I feel like a complete failure every time and it takes MONTHS for me to recover completely at times.

 

[Xeraxis]

Well, fuck my life.

I went to the party last night, confident that I'd get the opportunity to talk to her alone, and I saw her for a fraction of a second, then she disappeared. I sat down in a sofa and chilled, talking to two of my mates, when I saw her holding hands with a guy. I immediately assumed the worst, but kepy my cool.

Later that evening, there were nominations (It was a fancy dress party), and the girl I like and that guy stood beside me at the bar, and when the nominations were done, and we could go back to dancing, she looked at me and smiled confidently, then she grabbed the guy's hand and went to the dance floor with him once again.

Now, that depressed me very much because I feel that my life is at the level of shit in a ditch right now, and that just made it worse. What followed was chain smoking half a pack of cigarettes (I do not regularily smoke, just when I'm drinking and are stressed), while friends of both her and mine sat around me telling me that it wasn't that bad. I later on got a "confirmation" from one of both mine and her close friends that she saw me as a friend.

I just want to dig myself into the ground and die now, because I have this feeling that I really like her, and there's not been anything going on between her and the guy for almost 24 hours, so I am not sure if they ever did more than dancing, let alone form a relationship.

The worst thing is that I never got the opportunity to talk to her..

You've got to understand that you can't get them all. Believe me, I have been in a similar situation as to yours before, and I experienced the same unpleasant result. As hard as it is to break from it, you are going to have to move on. Most likely, some really DID happen between them during the party.

Try not to beat yourself up. It will do no good.

Well, it's happened to me over 10 times the last four years of my life. My love life is one giant train wreck, and I'm just so fuckin' tired of it being this miraculous disaster that it is. I feel like a complete failure every time and it takes MONTHS for me to recover completely at times.

I'm on the same boat. I have some days where my lack of moderate female acquaintance really pisses me off and it feels like the world is rubbing it against my face. Most of the time recently though, I've began to not care as much, as preoccupying myself with music, games, and schoolwork keeps it off my mind. And it really helps.

I don't what damn game life is pulling on me when it comes to women, but hopefully things will change for the better real soon. Hopefully for you as well.

Just remember: Dwelling on it will only make you feel worse.

 

[Deadlock Radium]

Well, fuck my life.

I went to the party last night, confident that I'd get the opportunity to talk to her alone, and I saw her for a fraction of a second, then she disappeared. I sat down in a sofa and chilled, talking to two of my mates, when I saw her holding hands with a guy. I immediately assumed the worst, but kepy my cool.

Later that evening, there were nominations (It was a fancy dress party), and the girl I like and that guy stood beside me at the bar, and when the nominations were done, and we could go back to dancing, she looked at me and smiled confidently, then she grabbed the guy's hand and went to the dance floor with him once again.

Now, that depressed me very much because I feel that my life is at the level of shit in a ditch right now, and that just made it worse. What followed was chain smoking half a pack of cigarettes (I do not regularily smoke, just when I'm drinking and are stressed), while friends of both her and mine sat around me telling me that it wasn't that bad. I later on got a "confirmation" from one of both mine and her close friends that she saw me as a friend.

I just want to dig myself into the ground and die now, because I have this feeling that I really like her, and there's not been anything going on between her and the guy for almost 24 hours, so I am not sure if they ever did more than dancing, let alone form a relationship.

The worst thing is that I never got the opportunity to talk to her..

You've got to understand that you can't get them all. Believe me, I have been in a similar situation as to yours before, and I experienced the same unpleasant result. As hard as it is to break from it, you are going to have to move on. Most likely, some really DID happen between them during the party.

Try not to beat yourself up. It will do no good.

Well, it's happened to me over 10 times the last four years of my life. My love life is one giant train wreck, and I'm just so fuckin' tired of it being this miraculous disaster that it is. I feel like a complete failure every time and it takes MONTHS for me to recover completely at times.

I'm on the same boat. I have some days where my lack of moderate female acquaintance really pisses me off and it feels like the world is rubbing it against my face. Most of the time recently though, I've began to not care as much, as preoccupying myself with music, games, and schoolwork keeps it off my mind. And it really helps.

I don't what damn game life is pulling on me when it comes to women, but hopefully things will change for the better real soon. Hopefully for you as well.

Just remember: Dwelling on it will only make you feel worse.

Spoiler: That feel, bro...

I know it.
<youtube=OXlZ6edCHqI>

Ontopic: I recently moved to an entirely new city where I only knew a handful of people, so I have potential to find a girlfriend here, as opposed to my childhood home, where everyone bullied me up until next year. I've also noticed how everyone from my old home seems more interested in me after I moved. It's like I'm this new, mystical person that they don't know entirely, and to be honest, it feels good.

Also, I think that once I become more known in the local community, people will eventually hang out with me. I've gotten along with everyone now, so I'm already accumulating quite the big gang o' friends where I live now

 

[Xeraxis]

Well, fuck my life.

I went to the party last night, confident that I'd get the opportunity to talk to her alone, and I saw her for a fraction of a second, then she disappeared. I sat down in a sofa and chilled, talking to two of my mates, when I saw her holding hands with a guy. I immediately assumed the worst, but kepy my cool.

Later that evening, there were nominations (It was a fancy dress party), and the girl I like and that guy stood beside me at the bar, and when the nominations were done, and we could go back to dancing, she looked at me and smiled confidently, then she grabbed the guy's hand and went to the dance floor with him once again.

Now, that depressed me very much because I feel that my life is at the level of shit in a ditch right now, and that just made it worse. What followed was chain smoking half a pack of cigarettes (I do not regularily smoke, just when I'm drinking and are stressed), while friends of both her and mine sat around me telling me that it wasn't that bad. I later on got a "confirmation" from one of both mine and her close friends that she saw me as a friend.

I just want to dig myself into the ground and die now, because I have this feeling that I really like her, and there's not been anything going on between her and the guy for almost 24 hours, so I am not sure if they ever did more than dancing, let alone form a relationship.

The worst thing is that I never got the opportunity to talk to her..

You've got to understand that you can't get them all. Believe me, I have been in a similar situation as to yours before, and I experienced the same unpleasant result. As hard as it is to break from it, you are going to have to move on. Most likely, some really DID happen between them during the party.

Try not to beat yourself up. It will do no good.

Well, it's happened to me over 10 times the last four years of my life. My love life is one giant train wreck, and I'm just so fuckin' tired of it being this miraculous disaster that it is. I feel like a complete failure every time and it takes MONTHS for me to recover completely at times.

I'm on the same boat. I have some days where my lack of moderate female acquaintance really pisses me off and it feels like the world is rubbing it against my face. Most of the time recently though, I've began to not care as much, as preoccupying myself with music, games, and schoolwork keeps it off my mind. And it really helps.

I don't what damn game life is pulling on me when it comes to women, but hopefully things will change for the better real soon. Hopefully for you as well.

Just remember: Dwelling on it will only make you feel worse.

Spoiler: That feel, bro...

I know it.
<youtube=OXlZ6edCHqI>

Ontopic: I recently moved to an entirely new city where I only knew a handful of people, so I have potential to find a girlfriend here, as opposed to my childhood home, where everyone bullied me up until next year. I've also noticed how everyone from my old home seems more interested in me after I moved. It's like I'm this new, mystical person that they don't know entirely, and to be honest, it feels good.

Also, I think that once I become more known in the local community, people will eventually hang out with me. I've gotten along with everyone now, so I'm already accumulating quite the big gang o' friends where I live now

That video...

That's good to know. I, too just recently moved to a new city for college, and things for the most part are going great. I've had a lot more enjoyable interactions with people of similar interests, unlike in high school.

Sounds like you got a good plate on your hands. Keep going for it .

 

[Deadlock Radium]

Well, fuck my life.

I went to the party last night, confident that I'd get the opportunity to talk to her alone, and I saw her for a fraction of a second, then she disappeared. I sat down in a sofa and chilled, talking to two of my mates, when I saw her holding hands with a guy. I immediately assumed the worst, but kepy my cool.

Later that evening, there were nominations (It was a fancy dress party), and the girl I like and that guy stood beside me at the bar, and when the nominations were done, and we could go back to dancing, she looked at me and smiled confidently, then she grabbed the guy's hand and went to the dance floor with him once again.

Now, that depressed me very much because I feel that my life is at the level of shit in a ditch right now, and that just made it worse. What followed was chain smoking half a pack of cigarettes (I do not regularily smoke, just when I'm drinking and are stressed), while friends of both her and mine sat around me telling me that it wasn't that bad. I later on got a "confirmation" from one of both mine and her close friends that she saw me as a friend.

I just want to dig myself into the ground and die now, because I have this feeling that I really like her, and there's not been anything going on between her and the guy for almost 24 hours, so I am not sure if they ever did more than dancing, let alone form a relationship.

The worst thing is that I never got the opportunity to talk to her..

You've got to understand that you can't get them all. Believe me, I have been in a similar situation as to yours before, and I experienced the same unpleasant result. As hard as it is to break from it, you are going to have to move on. Most likely, some really DID happen between them during the party.

Try not to beat yourself up. It will do no good.

Well, it's happened to me over 10 times the last four years of my life. My love life is one giant train wreck, and I'm just so fuckin' tired of it being this miraculous disaster that it is. I feel like a complete failure every time and it takes MONTHS for me to recover completely at times.

I'm on the same boat. I have some days where my lack of moderate female acquaintance really pisses me off and it feels like the world is rubbing it against my face. Most of the time recently though, I've began to not care as much, as preoccupying myself with music, games, and schoolwork keeps it off my mind. And it really helps.

I don't what damn game life is pulling on me when it comes to women, but hopefully things will change for the better real soon. Hopefully for you as well.

Just remember: Dwelling on it will only make you feel worse.

Spoiler: That feel, bro...

I know it.
<youtube=OXlZ6edCHqI>

Ontopic: I recently moved to an entirely new city where I only knew a handful of people, so I have potential to find a girlfriend here, as opposed to my childhood home, where everyone bullied me up until next year. I've also noticed how everyone from my old home seems more interested in me after I moved. It's like I'm this new, mystical person that they don't know entirely, and to be honest, it feels good.

Also, I think that once I become more known in the local community, people will eventually hang out with me. I've gotten along with everyone now, so I'm already accumulating quite the big gang o' friends where I live now

That video...

That's good to know. I, too just recently moved to a new city for college, and things for the most part are going great. I've had a lot more enjoyable interactions with people of similar interests, unlike in high school.

Sounds like you got a good plate on your hands. Keep going for it .

Thanks, I'm beginning to feel better about myself already

 

[cracky6i9]

Take this as a lesson learned. You didnt act on your feelings for her right away and she moved on. Its a pain in the ass but now you know for next time, be up front with people right away.