So I play games, read comics, and the like so this by defualt makes me a man child that is immature

[Spartan X1]

Latley I've noticed a change in my family and friends. A majority of them have jobs and other responsibilities, I understand this is necessary but latley especially from one set of friends and my mother I've been getting the message that my behaviour as is amounts to me being a failure because I invest money into things like figures and comics, things neither of these people take stock in at all. This makes their attitudes toward me like their ashamed of me. Kinda sucks when you've heard what I've heard from these people."Like you need to grow up cause what your doing is sad" Now I'm no slouch I'm a junior in college working towards a bachelors degree in biology, I maintain good grades and try very hard in evrything I do. I've worked a highly physically demanding job as a farmhand for the past three years making 320 a week. something I'd like to point out that would be impossible for these people to do. I feel these people are mistaking the forest for the trees they see my world which is so vastly different from theirs that they mark it as failure. I just wanna know if any of you guys or gals feel this way, like the things that make you happy lessen you in the eyes of people you care about?
Also recently all my things were threatened to be sold because "Its just abuncha junk that you've spent to much on and its time for you to get a real job so you can get out of here when your out of college" Now I understand I do need a job that will build my resume and I am looking for a job related to my degree this summer.

 

[ShinyCharizard]

I've always found that people who call video games and comics a waste of time tend to be people who spend all their time watching TV and spend their money on useless shit like antique furniture and crappy decorative cutlery and what have you. So I wouldn't take them seriously.

 

[Alex Graves]

...spend all their time watching TV and spend their money on useless shit like antique furniture and crappy decorative cutlery ...

That.

...smokes, booze, or anything like that...

And those.

Honestly each person has their little set activity/hobby/addiction none are really bad (well the drugs and such are but that's a different deal all together), but people see most hobbies that are not their own as a "waste of time and money". I've seen people complain about grown men buying comic-books/trading cards/video games, to people who go on and on about how "fixing up an old car no matter it's condition is a waste if you have another one in perfect condition!" that of course being said to a bunch of retiree war guys who tinkered on oldsmobiles. Like the two prior posters stated, just don't listen/care, if you are still making ends meet, moving forward with your life, and being able to spend money on whatever silliness you enjoy then go right ahead. Hell, I'm typing this wearing the Teemo hat that came in earlier this week...because I love adorable little creatures and this hat is amazing. When I got it out of the package I was grinning from ear to ear and through it on faster then the package could hit the ground, the whole time my mother shaking her head at this thing I just threw on my head but didn't say anything because she geeks out just as bad with antiques and anything that looks nice in a photo(she a professional photographer(and for some weird reason I have a fear of cameras.....odd)). I am currently working as a cart pusher at Wal-mart, because well a job is a job, working on enlisting into the air force for many a fun career field and taking the act next month to enroll into a local-ish college for game-design(well mostly 3-d character modeling and such), so she and I both know I have my bases covered and a small quirky purchase is good for the soul.....that thing I don't have.....

So yeah, like most everything else in life, ignore what most people say and just do what you think is right....unless it involves murder, drugs, tentacles, and/or the raising of an army of undead minions to takeover the world...you biologists are always tampering with the de....wait I'm thinking of something else aren't I, yeah you guys are the ones with the giant robots, those are ok. Good thing this is off topic cause I am very much so there.

 

[Kolby Jack]

I'm not going to just tell you that your family and friends are wrong because I haven't (and in all likelihood never will have) heard their side of the story. Maybe you are leaving out some details that legitimizes what you say their case is. I don't know. I don't know you or your history, and a single paragraph isn't enough to get me to support you.

I will, however, say that your hobbies are your own and as long as you can take care of yourself and be happy without burdening anyone else, nobody should judge you for your pass-times. But let me also say that their concerns, legitimate or not, and whether it may seem so or not, probably come from love, at least in the case of your family. Even they might not realize this. If your story is as you say, I'd say the best thing you can do is just assure them that you're an adult and can take of yourself. Appreciate their concerns, but request that they don't burden themselves with something that isn't an actual issue.

 

[Thaluikhain]

Well, define "mature". An awful lot of people I know would not qualify for what is usually meant. But, it's also supposed to be comparative, an average, so that throws things out of whack.

Having said that, an awful lot of comics and games are immature. Now, how much immature stuff a person can do without being immature I'll leave to someone else to answer, but presumably there is some limit.

 

[Kipiru]

As long as you can self-fund your comics and games needs, there is nothing immature about you. You simply have different interests than the people who call you out. And in this day and age, having such interests is hardly unusual. Keep doing what you like and strife for financial independence, so that you don't have to answer to anyone on your spendings.

 

[GabeZhul]

This kind of reminds me of that annoying "You are 23, why don't you have a girlfriend already!?" argument I tend to have with my father, an attitude which always baffled me. I mean, you usually get into a serious relationship because you meet someone you wouldn't mind spending the rest of your life with, not for the sake of "having a relationship" like it was some trophy or something... Peer pressure is often pretty dumb. -.-

But I digress, as my issue is only tangentially related to this topic. That said, no, you are not immature, mostly because "being mature" is something like the Aristotelian view ow "knowing"; you are more mature if you accept that you have your immature side than the people who claim to be completely mature while turning a blind eye to their own.
If you are mature, you know that you have your own "immaturities" and learn to integrate them into your life. Truly immature people on the other hand tend to hide their immature side and instead nitpick at yours to appear superior and "truly mature" in the eyes of others with similar attitudes.

Really, unless you are a basement-dweller, unemployed otaku who entirely relies on their family's financial aid without lifting a finger on your own, no one has the right to call you a loser or immature.

 

[MeChaNiZ3D]

Unless they're all people who spend their money solely on necessities or larger causes and nothing for sentimental or entertainment reasons, they don't really have a leg to stand on.

 

[Sansha]

As long as you work hard and have a plan for your future, nobody has the right to call you a loser or immature. You're supporting yourself and working toward a career, and as someone who's done it, working as a farmhand is not an easy task. If that doesn't give you your Man Card, I don't know what will.

In my house, I have a 'battlestation room' that only I have access to. It's got my computers, my books and guides, my pornography, game and DVD library as well as various collectables and decorations.
In the garage, I have a weight set and archery workbench.

Would seeing one or the other sway one's opinion of my lifestyle?

 

[The Ubermensch]

People who treat 'adult' as a term of approval, instead of as a merely descriptive term, cannot be adult themselves. To be concerned about being grown up, to admire the grown up because it is grown up, to blush at the suspicion of being childish; these things are the marks of childhood and adolescence. And in childhood and adolescence they are, in moderation, healthy symptoms. Young things ought to want to grow. But to carry on into middle life or even into early manhood this concern about being adult is a mark of really arrested development. When I was ten, I read fairy tales in secret and would have been ashamed if I had been found doing so. Now that I am twenty I read them openly. When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up.

/thread

 

[Kolby Jack]

People who treat 'adult' as a term of approval, instead of as a merely descriptive term, cannot be adult themselves. To be concerned about being grown up, to admire the grown up because it is grown up, to blush at the suspicion of being childish; these things are the marks of childhood and adolescence. And in childhood and adolescence they are, in moderation, healthy symptoms. Young things ought to want to grow. But to carry on into middle life or even into early manhood this concern about being adult is a mark of really arrested development. When I was ten, I read fairy tales in secret and would have been ashamed if I had been found doing so. Now that I am twenty I read them openly. When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up.

/thread

There's nothing wrong with desiring to appear responsible and adult. It's an admirable goal and usually leads to good life decisions. Our "selves" are shaped in large part during our childhoods, and then reigned in by experience and empathy. Aside from a lack of those two things, there is no true "mark of childhood and adolescence." There is pettiness, and that should be avoided, but to attribute pettiness with childhood is at best a half-truth since many adults also engage in acts of pettiness. It's a social thing. A human thing. Not a childish thing.

 

[Something Amyss]

Hey, it's not as if you're wasting money on smokes, booze, or anything like that.

I've never understood why the binge drinking that is so widely accepted IS so widely accepted as a good pastime.

Then again, there's a lot I don't get.

Obligatory text to get past the low post rules

I'm pretty sure they explicitly say doing this doesn't actually get you past the low-content rules.

 

[Abomination]

I always turn such accusations around and highlight the flaws of what they do. How it might have been 'cool' to go out and drink so much when they were 16, ask how much they spend on something that they'll soon piss down the drain or have to spend $XX to see a similar event a week later. Whereas my hobby is actually an entertainment investment, I can do it again at a later date at no extra charge. It lasts longer than 3 hours, I don't have to spend 4x as much on the food nearby to actually eat.

Surprisingly this approach has allowed those at my workplace especially to discuss their more unusual hobbies without fear of someone giving them beans about it. I have also discovered at least 5 other 'gamers' who otherwise would have remained quiet of their hobby because I spoke up against the tool who thought they were 'childish'.

So the response isn't to be sad, embarrassed or not talk about it. The response is to get angry. Turn the table or put the shoe on the other foot. Attempt to make them feel terrible for still enjoying something or for being a sheep and conforming to society's standards rather than deciding for themselves what they want to do.

It isn't always the case but that's not the point, what you are trying to do is exactly what they are doing to you.

Or the short and sharp one is to ask them:

"Well, what do YOU do for a hobby that is so much better than me?"
"I collect-"
"You know what? I don't give a shit what an asshole thinks. Fuck off and don't talk to me."

 

[Lunar Templar]

OP, I present, your reply next time they start that crap again


cause, they are, your happy where you are from the sound of it and they very likely aren't. they just want you to 'grow up' so you can be miserable like they are.

 

[Mylinkay Asdara]

Nope. Hobbies and what you spend your time on doesn't make you a man child (or a woman child to vaccinate this post from being called sexist) who is immature. What would do that is an inability to behave like an adult when the situation calls for it, inability to socially interact on an adult level, inability to emotionally interact in mature ways with other mature people and other things like these. Crap you do in your spare time (TV, video games, collecting tea cups or action figures, etc. etc.) is not an indication of your maturity - it is an indication of your personal tastes - and possibly, by extension the maturity of those tastes, but that does not then translate to your maturity as a person overall.

 

[Jodokh]

$320 a week? ouch my brother rips me off but not that horribly bad.

OT: Ya well sounds like your doin fine dude.

 

[CardinalPiggles]

I used to get that from people a lot, and still do from some. But at the end of the day everyone wastes money, everyone wastes time. Everyone.

It might come across as actually being immature, but remind those people what they spend their time and money on.

 

[Canadamus Prime]

I haven't experienced that personally, but it seems to me that as long as you're living up to your responsibilities as an adult, which it sounds like you are, then what you choose to spend your surplus cash on shouldn't matter and certainly isn't any business of your family or friends. Also I think you should tell them as much.

 

[SkullKing84]

Nope. Hobbies and what you spend your time on doesn't make you a man child (or a woman child to vaccinate this post from being called sexist) who is immature. What would do that is an inability to behave like an adult when the situation calls for it, inability to socially interact on an adult level, inability to emotionally interact in mature ways with other mature people and other things like these. Crap you do in your spare time (TV, video games, collecting tea cups or action figures, etc. etc.) is not an indication of your maturity - it is an indication of your personal tastes - and possibly, by extension the maturity of those tastes, but that does not then translate to your maturity as a person overall.

This. And, what alot of other people have already stated. Myself, I collect comics, play video games, do tabletop RPGs and collect figures. Minus my crap job (not that bad really), I'm pretty happy. For those in my life who wanted to "grow up" and drop the hobbies and interests we shared... well those are the people I know that are on antidepressants.