So...I think she just asked me to move in with her?

[renegade7]

I was driving my friend back home. She and I have an odd history...basically we really like each other but we've been very hesitant to get together because we go to school in different states, and this is her last Summer back home.

We were talking about where we would live next Summer: this year we're only freshmen going on sophomores so we only live with our parents. I go to school in state and was planning on making next summer the last living with my parents. However, basically I've reached the end of my rope in dealing with my mom's alcoholism and my dad's emotional abuse: I cannot live with either of them anymore (they are divorced). Things got a bit emotional and I brought that up and when I was talking about getting my own place in the city where I plan to intern she told me that she is renting next Summer and that I should move in with her, to which I replied that I would love to and we agreed that it was a plan.

So...yea, I guess I'm living with her next year. It wasn't until after I had dropped her off that that sunk in. I'm really just not sure what to think. We've been friends since we were little kids and I've had feelings for her for a very long time, and recently she told me she felt the same way but she didn't want to have the stress of a long distance relationship.

So I don't know...just...what? What just happened? It was very abrupt, nothing I would have anticipated, ever. I'm happy but just completely unsure of what to think. I just need some help collecting my thoughts.

 

[MasochisticAvenger]

I can't help but think you're overthinking this a little bit. All you two have done is discuss the possibility of living in the same place. You haven't agreed to start dating or anything real serious; this could be nothing more than a roommate situation. However, like most things to do with relationships, the best advice I can give is to sit down with her and properly discuss what it all means, and what both of you want out of the arrangement. It could be you are making a bigger deal out of this than what she intended - unfortunately she might just be doing it because you are friends, and it would be convenient for you - but she might want something more serious. The only way you'll know is to ask her.

 

[Tom_green_day]

she is renting next Summer and that I should move in with her

Yeah, I'm pretty sure she did ask you to move in with her.
If you do move in with her, then that could very possibly spell the end of any romantic possibility, so just bear that in mind. If you do move in, make sure it is not on the merits of any emotion and is instead for a reason that will permanent.

 

[Jonluw]

Hey, you just got yourself a place to move in. Neato. Considering the situation with your parents, that sounds just perfect.
I'm currently looking for an apartment, and I'll tell you it can be difficult as shit to find a place that will have you.
And there's this girl living there with whom you have the possibility of trying out a relationship? Sweet.
Just make sure - if you decide to give a relationship a shot - to try to arrange it in such a way that even if you end up breaking up you will still stay friends, or at the very least in such a way that it won't ruin your roommate deal. Considering that you seem to have been friends for a long time, this shouldn't be much of a problem.

 

[sanquin]

So uhm...I don't see the problem. You two both have feelings for each other, but were hesitant because you'd be too far apart. That is no longer a problem. So...uh...hook up, rent a place together and see where it goes?

 

[NoeL]

So uhm...I don't see the problem. You two both have feelings for each other, but were hesitant because you'd be too far apart. That is no longer a problem. So...uh...hook up, rent a place together and see where it goes?

Pretty much this, though as others have said her feelings might have changed and maybe she isn't interested in hooking up anymore. Talk to her and see if that's the case before agreeing to anything, and if you find that your own feelings aren't returned I would strongly advise against moving in. Imagine trying to get to sleep while another guy is fucking her brains out in the next room. If that makes you uncomfortable, don't fucking live with her!

But if you like each other, go for it! It might be a bumpy ride and you'll likely want to kill each other after a few weeks, but that's all part of the fun. Living with people you can have sex with is awesome.

 

[Trueflame]

So is this just for the summer then, since you're still attending colleges in different states? If so, the main issue of the relationship turning into a long distance one is still not going away, so she'll likely still be just as hesitant to pursue one with you. The only difference is that now you'll be living right next to each other, and it will get harder and harder for her to resist. Make of that what you will, I'm not really in any place to give advice, just curious about the duration of this arrangement.