So I'm in this three way relationship

[teisjm]

Hmmm. 3 people, beeing honest with each other, and putting themselves above ugly things like jealousy? Having the guts deviate from the societal norm, solely based on the facts that noone is hurting anyone, and that everyone involved is okay with/enjoying whats going on?
Blasphemous!
You're a disgrace, like them damn kids playing their stupid video-games, instead of working in the fields.
You should learn to addapt to the proper mindset of a jealous ownership of your partner.

Sarcasm aside, good for you, just make sure not to get too involved, so your feelings don't get hurt too much when it ends.
Also, make sure you're all clear on where each others boundries goes, when it comes to sex.
Rather ask that awkward question "you okay with me banging your girl bro?" before, than appologize for it afterwards, if it turns out he wasn't willing to share her that much.

 

[DevilWithaHalo]

The only real difference between Open Relationships and Polyamorous Relationships are the varied amounts of emotion you share with your partners. They can work, and they can be fun, but in my experience they come with an expiration date.

I live in one of the most... "open" cities in the nation, and I still haven't met one person that was truly honest with themselves or others when it came to this. But that's a long and complicated rant.

Sigh, back to the few that I'm involved with at the moment. You'd think I should be having more fun like you, but I'm not. Women... am I right?

 

[TorqueConverter]

So the story up until now...

In my freshman year of college I met a girl (we'll call her Emily to make it easier) whom I spoke with one day and we became friends. See, the first day we met she had told me she had a boyfriend so I was all "Well that blows that chance, but she's still cool so we'll just be friends" and I was fine with that. A while later I met her boyfriend too (we'll call him Dave) and he was really cool too and we also became friends. By the way, Emily is a junior and Dave has graduated.

So a year later (she's now a senior) we're still friends and Emily has an idea. One night she asks Dave if me and her can date and do all the things that come with dating. He said it was fine and so we dated. We haven't actually had sex yet, but we've pretty much done everything else. I'm really loving this even though I know it'll end by the end of this semester. Everything we do is relayed to each other, nothing is hidden. Me and Dave take turns going out with Emily whenever we have spare time, and sometimes we just all go out to do something. It's fun, it really is.

I've just never heard of something like this happening to anyone else, so I wanted to know what the standard internet reaction would be. What would you call this kind of relationship?

Standard internet reaction: Sounds like Dave might want access to your bum but hasn't gotten around to askin' yet. I you're cool with that, then whatever, but if not then you know.. watch out. Other than that reaction, uh.. have sex with other women also. Bro fist i guess?

 

[Terminal Blue]

I've just never heard of something like this happening to anyone else, so I wanted to know what the standard internet reaction would be. What would you call this kind of relationship?

It's not polygamy or polyandry because both of those terms refer to marriage practices.

Call it whatever you want. Terms like 'open relationship' or 'polyamory' (often abbreviated to 'poly') tend to be pretty well understood ways of communicating the idea, but unless you're interested in wanting to date other people as well I'm not sure it matters so much because you don't need to identify yourself. Technically, I think you're in a 'triadic relationship', but I wouldn't say that because the term raises some pretty uncomfortable preconceptions to anyone familiar with psychology.

I find terminologically it's sometimes best to let people figure things out for themselves if they have the open-mindedness to do so.

Anyway, your situation sounds great. Why does it have to end?

 

[Mikeyfell]

The turn taking 3 way mechanic doesn't work nearly as well as you might expect.

If it's too structured it'll feel like work
If it's not structured enough it'll she'll eventually have (To quote XKCD) a Statistically-significant-other

If you want it to work (I mean passed the first time you both want to be with her on the same day) all 3 of you should be going out on the dates.

 

[ks1234]

So the story up until now...

Sounds like your getting all of the workload (taking her out and paying for shit) with none of the payoff (sex! duh) while she's banging this other guy...
Yep... sounds like you're getting screwed.

 

[winginson]

Three way relationships can be great, but the more intimate it gets the greater the chance of being hurt. From what I've seen there always seems to be the third wheel who only gets any when the other two want them to.

The type of open relationship I like the most is where there are two intimate people who are allowed to have a fling now and again. Just make sure you know what the other person is cool with ie. only with people you don't find romantically attractive, always use protection, don't neglect your other, limits on sexual activities etc.

One last thing. If in the future you want a closed relationship or want to go out with someone who would only have a closed relationship, you may find it very hard to meet someone who is OK with your past open relationships. You quite often get dumped in the sex-obsessed, greedy, dirty, would cheat on me pile.



Captcha: enjoy tedthri. What the hell is a tedthri? Could be fun.

 

[rayen020]

Take Dave on a date.

That is all.

 

[GigaHz]

I've heard of sloppy seconds, but this is ridiculous.

These kind of things are fun for a one night deal, but forming the basis of an entire relationship? You're dreaming if you think that this will last longer than one or two weeks.

 

[Inuprince]

You sir are a lucky lucky man. Enjoy this while it lasts.

I don't understand. Why is he lucky?

I am not biased toward the whole situation, I just don't get why a few comments say this guy is supposed to be lucky. He gets to share someone else's girlfriend. Sure that is still more than some unfortunate people can say for themselves, but still I think this is just sad. He would be lucky if HE was dating two girls, or Dave too not just Emily, whatever anyone's preference is...

Just saying that in the long run it probably won't work out, he probably has a 1/3 chance of getting out of this good, and perhaps all this time he could have already found another girl, who he could be together with, without worrying about some 3rd party, and just be together, consequence free.

 

[Brawndo]

This isn't the first time I've heard of this. Except with the people I knew, the boyfriend had no spine and was afraid of losing his girlfriend of 6 years, so she basically did whatever she wanted and he would always agree with it. She would use the "open relationship" argument to sleep with other guys without guilt, but he would never go out with other girls because he was so hopelessly in love with her.

Shit was sad.