So, I'm scared

[JemothSkarii]

Alright Escapist, here's the thing, and I'm not sure if this should fall under advice:
I'm an 18 year old Australian boy with a physical disability (Spastic Diplegia, common type of Cerebal Palsy) and I have a 16 year old girlfriend who lives in the U.S. We've known each other for 5 years but have been together for 2, our relationship is a secret from our respective families as they believe everyone to be Stalkers on the internet, and from what happened in the past with my parents, no amount of evidence will sway their opinion: they will cut off all forms of communication I have if I have a relationship with someone overseas.

Anyways, not the problem, my problem is this: She's had Spring Break, so we've been able to spend large portions of the week together (about 10 hours everyday as opposed to 4-6 on weekends, sometimes longer), even being able to webcam and such. She's been very loving and focusing on me at points, and I've been returning her feelings. I'm very affectionate and somewhat clingy, and towards the end of the week she said that her brain was feeling twisted and confused, and that she wasn't sure about everything. So we're in a temporary split, which I agreed to as all I want is for her to be happy; I'll let her leave me, albeit painfully and something I really don't want, if it makes her happy, but I'll be very happy if she stays. After letting slip I was afraid she'll leave at the end of the week, she got a bit annoyed and said I was pushing her, and I feel as if I've pushed her away more. In the past, we've broken up for a day or so because she wasn't sure about it or she was just down or something, but she always apologises profusely and is really quite sorry. I've pledged myself to her, she's really a sweet, loving, amazing girl, and I'll stand by anything she decides.

I've known her for 5 years, and I don't want to lose her, yet I know I'll never be able to deal with her as a friend. I'd go over and see her; I've been saving up money for a while now to go see her, but she said not to go till she graduates, about two years. Right now, I can just be her friend, but I want to help more, I want to make her feel better and stay with me. It sounds selfish, I know...but even in past relationships I've never felt so strongly about someone, so devoted...and now I won't be able to see her for a week as she doesn't have time to get on after school (A Grade Student). I'm scared I 'll see that she wants me gone, and I've known to over-react in the past, and I'm trying to be strong for her, but behind her back I'm almost at tears. I'll take whatever pain or anything, to me she's worth it...

So, any advice? Something to cheer me up? The truth? Videos, pictures, anything...I'll probably be heading to bed soon, so yeah...

tl;dr: Overseas GF problems, help?

 

[Art Axiv]

I am in a "distance relationship" and all I can offer to you is truth my friend. If she loves you, she'll return. You need to be absolutely honest and trusting, otherwise the relationship spirals down to thinking of cheating and so on. If you could visit her though, I'm sure you would be together for a long time!
Other than that.. well, cheer up! It will all be clear to you in a bit, and there is no reason to be emotional about things you have no influence on.

 

[binvjoh]

It's up to her right now. There's nothing you can/should try to do to sway her mind. Regardless of how cliché it sounds, just give her space.

On a different note, here's a picture of commander Shepard being creepy;

<spoiler=Spoiler'd for size>http://images.encyclopediadramatica.com/images/4/44/Mass_Effect_Ugly_smile.jpg

<spoiler=Edit: Here's something else that usually cheers me up><youtube=t1kApnsayeQ>

 

[TheCrownlessKing]

Love is love. You just got to let it go the way it wants to, but usually it will go the right way. Try not to worry about it.

 

[Tom a Hawk]

This might sound harsh, but if your that far apart all of the time, is it really worth it? I've been in a similar dilemma myself, though not across two continents, and sometimes you have to admit when a long distance relationship just isn't worth the hassle. Personally I don't see a relationship with any physical contact at all as worthwhile (no, I don't just mean sex. Though that is important too).
Theres plenty of nice girls out there, and probably some a lot closer to home, who you could have a much more active, real, relationship with.
Still, feel free to ignore me, I hope things turn out how you want them to.
Good luck.

 

[DanDeFool]

This might sound harsh, but if your that far apart all of the time, is it really worth it? I've been in a similar dilemma myself, though not across two continents, and sometimes you have to admit when a long distance relationship just isn't worth the hassle. Personally I don't see a relationship with any physical contact at all as worthwhile (no, I don't just mean sex. Though that is important too).
Theres plenty of nice girls out there, and probably some a lot closer to home, who you could have a much more active, real, relationship with.
Still, feel free to ignore me, I hope things turn out how you want them to.
Good luck.

Gotta agree with Tom here. Long-distance relationships are doomed to either peter out or decay into simple friendships over time. Unless you move to the US or she moves to you, then there's an entire dimension to your relationship (that being physical intimacy) that will never EVER materialize. That and if your entire relationship is founded on online interaction, your first in-person meeting might change your (or her) entire perspective on the relationship.

I suppose if both of you are content with that then you can keep it going, but if I were in your shoes I'd just break it off or agree to be friends now and start looking for a girlfriend IRL. Maybe check out the local online dating scene if I felt more comfortable with that. Remember, plenty of fish.

P.S.: Our parents can sometimes be very dumb in the name of protecting us from the evils of the world. It sucks, but we have to live with it.

 

[Raikov]

I'm in a similar kind of relationship, even though it's not very far between me and her. It's going quite well for us though, we've solved a few problems and scrapped a lot of ideas, but we're getting there slowly. But we have the advantage of age that you do not (me being 25 and she 23).

I would think that you, and especially her, are a bit too young to make it work. Both of you really need to be interested in a stable relationship and trust each other unconditionally. As it has been said, the odds are against you. But give her some space, and you're really gonna have to let your parents in on this, and so must she.

Best of luck though.

 

[Zombie_Fish]

Moved to Advice Forum.

--Zombie

 

[Erana]

The thing is, here, pledging yourself to a girl is a bit... uncomfortable for the girl. At least, when its happened to me, its generally unpleasant.
Pledges are a step taken in a relationship in which both people take on a greater number of obligations to the other partner. You're obviously ready to take that step, but it doesn't sound like she is yet. This doesn't devalue your relationship or anything; just wait for her to be ready to commit to you more. Pressuring her would be a poor choice, and trying to give too much in a relationship can be a destructive thing.
In the mean time, her priorities should remain school. Competing for her time will feel like undermining her, but respecting her work will be a way to gain her respect.
I feel like this is poorly worded, but my computer's dying. :/

*ahem*
Now that I have found my charger, let me get on to the part where I point out that my initial comments come largely from personal experience, and its along the lines of a worst-case scenario, but there is hopefully something to be gleaned from my doomsaying. Then, I get onto the part where I compliment the goodness to be found the OP with, say, your commitment to your girl here, and willingness to accept her doing what she needs to do.
And then I'd ask for clarification as to why you brought up your physical disability, and... Well, that's more or less what I wanted to say, albeit with a terrible delivery.

Good luck in your relationship!