So I'm seriously considering suicide.

[Ekit]

Think about all the awesome things in the world though... Like dinosaurs.

Speeking as someone who has failed two suicide attempts, trust me, it gets better. Seriously, it does.

I don't want to depress you more, but this is the only life you are going to get, it would be foolish to end it after only 17 years. The world is a cool place if you know where to look.

 

[Zen Toombs]

-snip-

There is nothing I can say that hasn't been said several times already, so I'll just lend my voice. Stick with this[sup]1[/sup]. It'll be alright. ^_^

[sup]1[/sup]: And by this, I mean life & related shenanigans.

 

[Estocavio]

Simply put for the past few months everything has been going terribly in my life. Girlfriend broke up with me, friends turned into enemies, parents ignoring me and favoring my brother, all the while my depression (which I though had gone away) has been growing and growing.

Not EVERYTHING.
You're still healthy, you have a home to live in, clothes to put on, food to eat, your parents are still together. Damn, you've probably never had to work a day in your life.

My life, up to this point, has been relatively easy to deal with. But everything happening at once really makes it hard to cope.

So when problems appear, you want to end your life? A life without sorrow is an incomplete life.
If I was going to kill myself when my life got troublesome, I would die at the age of 4, when I got beat up until I was bleeding for the first time. Or at the age of 10, when my grandfather died. Or somewhere between the age 11-14, when half the kids in my school were picking on me and beating me up kind of like that Asian kid from the clip on youtube, and when the teachers were doing the same thing, only on an emotional level. Or at the age of 18, when the girl I wanted to spend my life with went to live abroad and I never saw her again. And so on.
But I didn't, and with each day, I became stronger. Failure means nothing to me. I'm like a sayian - after each defeat, I come back more powerful. I know more than the people around me, I can do more than the people around me, I can take more than the people around me.
You won't learn anything if there's only success in your life.

Success gives you confidence.
Failure gives you knowledge and skills.
Too much confidence makes you blind.
There is no such thing as too much knowledge and skills.

Did that help?

Not exactly. Its almost rude how you generalize me. My parents have been divorced since I was 7 ( for which my brother blames me and reminds me of that every chance he gets), Even though my parents have joint custody I rarely see either of them, when I do see them they usually comment on how I spend too much time in my room or how my brother does things better then I do.
The things that are effecting me, to me at least, are not small things. People who I depend on and have an emotional connection with abandoned me. People who are literally suppose to help me through anything shrug me aside.
That's great that you can stay strong after being put down, but here's the thing. I can't. I'm not strong. I'm some creepy kid without too many friends. When I let people into my mind and show them who I really am, I usually don't expect them to use personal information against me.

There are People in far worse situations, My Good Man. Think of it this way: In Third World Countries, Children without any living family starve and dehydrate, but damn do they try to survive. And most of them do.

 

[JesterRaiin]

So I know that this isn't a place where I should/can vent my feelings, but everyone on here has always helped me out before so I'm really hoping someone can now.

No, it's really not that good place for such talk.

First of all, a little salt on your wound, but believe me, you deserve it.
For a moment stop worrying about your issues only and think about such scenario :
- you come here and express your readiness to commit suicide
- people try to advice you, even without knowing you, because, hey, you're one of us, right ?
- then you disappear - maybe because you need to take a little vacation from everything, maybe because you don't feel like talking, and maybe because you tried to really hang yourself or something

Now the questions :
What do you think, how will that affect at least some of your fellow Escapists ?
Don't you think that some will say "oh man, i could do something more, i could try to give better advice, and now he is probably dead because i wasn't that good talker" ?
Was that really that necessary to put that kind of responsibility upon us ?
Couldn't you just go with "i feel like sh*t, a little help please" ?

The reality is just like that - we think about ourselves too much when we should think about other people.
And from time to time we think about people while we should mind our own business.

That brings us to the second part of what i wanted to say...

- It hurts, but you'll survive. It will change. Nobody said that leveling was an easy task. You gained additional experience, now it's time to organize it and advance.

- Life is about possibilities, about new sub-quests and adventures. Death is about nothingness. It's not that you'll play some other game. It's switching computer off. Permanently, for the rest of eternity.

- Yes, some of us were in worse situations. You wouldn't believe how difficult some of them were. How we dealt with that ? By not giving up, not thinking how shi*y our situation is, by having patience and faith in tomorrow.

Give yourself a little time man.
Forget how things look like now.
There will be change.

 

[Elvis Starburst]

Not exactly. Its almost rude how you generalize me. My parents have been divorced since I was 7 ( for which my brother blames me and reminds me of that every chance he gets), Even though my parents have joint custody I rarely see either of them, when I do see them they usually comment on how I spend too much time in my room or how my brother does things better then I do.
The things that are effecting me, to me at least, are not small things. People who I depend on and have an emotional connection with abandoned me. People who are literally suppose to help me through anything shrug me aside.
That's great that you can stay strong after being put down, but here's the thing. I can't. I'm not strong. I'm some creepy kid without too many friends. When I let people into my mind and show them who I really am, I usually don't expect them to use personal information against me.

Ok, I'm gonna step in and give it my best shot at 12:15 in the morning, cause I can XD

There should never be any reason for suicide. There are always reasons for sadness, hate, anger, disappointment, and all else. But when you feel it's too much that you just need to commit suicide, then you've admitted defeat to life. Life is there to challenge you, test you, let you see just what you're made of. And if you just give up and kill yourself, you're saying to the entire world "you all mean nothing to me. Life wins, and I give up". But if you really did commit suicide, what about those who you will be leaving behind? What about the potential things in life that could make you feel amazing?

I'll admit, I've felt like stuff was just so shitty I shouldn't care anymore, even when me and my gf broke up, and it was my own stupid fault. I still hurt and regret over it, but it doesn't matter, it's over and done. There's no reason to feel sad about it anymore. I kept going, and everything started getting good again. In fact, my life has never been better. I have a well-paying job, saving to move out and go to college, I have all the friends I could need, and that's not many at all, but it's enough for me... and things are just overall good for me. This is the life I've been given with patience, and putting some effort into making it so.

I never gave up, and look where it has gotten me. Look at where it has gotten the rest of the world. You think half of these people who live happy lives did it by just giving up? Just when things were down and sad? No way man. These people who live great lives kept going, even when times were tough, and their life has become something great.

My point is, don't just give up on all of this. There's no point in giving up. You're young enough, and so am I. I am looking towards the future, so don't let the past, or present hold you down. You let it bring you down and hold you back, you are giving up the possibly amazing future life can hold for you. So cmon, let's see you try man.

Go out there, into the world, with a changed outlook. Confront your parents if you really are having issues. If they care for you, they'll listen and hopefully understand. Your brother? That's just what brothers do, but just ask for him to take it easy, maybe not be so harsh towards you. Friends? Ask them why they've turned their backs on you. If they won't come back, go make some more. It's not the toughest thing in the world. I lack friends, but by working at my job, I've made a good handful of them.

Just be strong, keep fighting this, and don't let it hold you back. There's no benefit to letting these things hold you down from your future. Alright? :3

 

[tobi the good boy]

Whenever I feel down, I turn into a solipsist. Considering yourself the centre of the universe is a rather nice way to get a confidence boost and do something about your life. The world ultimately is a wonderful place and it is the hardships that help us really appreciate the wonderful things that can happen to you, but you have to accept good things as they come your way which is a bit of a ***** if you're depressed because you've got your head in a rut. But they do happpen, be more positive and the world will become yours.

 

[Pegghead]

Not gonna lie, from what you said in your post that sounds like a bad situation. And that's exactly what it is. You don't deserve it, you probably weren't asking for it, shit just happened. Remember that. All the time the universe randomly sends horrible things in the way of good people, when that happens you just gotta power on through, because experience has taught me that these things always end over time.

Trust me, find somebody you can talk to about this, person to person. Though you can always do this face-to-face by turning to such people as school counsellors (and usually anonymously, hell, in my case my top-bloke of a house coordinator sent me himself) there are always phone helplines and even internet chat-rooms waiting (quite a number with trained professionals, for free). Hell, right now you're taking the first steps. Take the universe's shit and confont it rather than letting it stew inside, bring the brick-shithouse out into the open and dismantle it brick by brick.

But above all, don't let it rule who you are inside and out. Oh yes, the people who do love and care for you (especially if you sat down and just...told them what you're going thorugh) need to know, but remember to laugh and to smile always.

I've said my piece, go now and power through it. We're always here with open arms, mate. Hell, feel free to PM me anytime. Falling into the kind of "stressing and crying every day" depression I've had the misfortune to experience is something I came out of far stronger than I ever could've imagined.

 

[Averant]

I'm 17 years old. And I understand that these problems may seem insignificant to you but to me they control my life. The things that I care about have abandoned me and it seems like I can not rely on anything.

And this, right here, in my opinion, is your problem. You're relying on other people for your happiness.

NEVER

EVER

rely on other people for happiness. Have a good time with them, hang out, catch a movie, sure, do that. But for the love of God, don't rely on them for anything, because unless they are your absolute omgwtfbbq best friends, or your girlfriend who is hopelessly in love with you, then they won't be in it for you. They'll be in it for the happiness that you give THEM, and the moment that dries up, so does their friendship. If they're decent people, they'll stick around and try to get it back, but a majority of people aren't decent.

Don't rely on them. Rely on yourself. YOU are looking out for YOUR best interests.

Yes, this is a highly cynical point of view. No person should ever have to have this point of view. But as depressing as it is, this is the most realistic POV I have come across yet. Or, rather, it's the most survivalistic one. This POV? It's for the loners. It's for the asocialists. It's for the people who who've never had support and don't need it.

You sound like a social person. The problem with being a social person is that, like you've suggested, your happiness revolves around other people. You'll be happier than an Asocial person will ever be, but it's your friends that get you up there. When they crash, when they change, you crash. And you crash hard. The higher you fly, the farther you fall, and the harder you hit.

So, my advice? Be cynical. Be a loner, at least until you find some decent friends. Because ffs, man. There's millions of people in the one city you live in. Your school has... what, a couple thousand? At most? There's more to life out there. A metric shit ton more. Suicide is just plain shortsighted.

Get out there and find new friends, or rely on yourself. Or watch MLP. I hear that helps.




And if you REALLY need to distract yourself, here's a piece of joke advice I give all my friends:

Don't kill yourself. Kill OTHER people! You stay alive, it's more productive, you let off stress, and you get rid of some assholes in the world! It's a complete win situation!

[sub]My friends always laugh when I tell them this.

The real joke is, I'm only half kidding.[/sub]

 

[Mr.Swiggly]

Well, dude I only have one point to make.

Think about all the beautiful things in this world you could miss out on. Not to get the chance to see the Wonders of the World, missing out on meeting new people, missing out on the future. Don't you want the chance to see what new technologies will come, don't you want to play video games of the future or read a new book, listen to the music that will be made, and see how the world changes around you?

I would never want to miss out on the future to see what will come, all the possibilities. And neither should you.

 

[Grabbin Keelz]

Girlfriend broke up with me, friends turned into enemies, parents ignoring me and favoring my brother, all the while my depression (which I though had gone away) has been growing and growing.

While I believe all these, they're all a bit vague. In my time of high school, I can't even count the times I heard the whole 'friends become enemies' drama.
In life, people are going to betray and abandon you, so here's what you do. You turn around, walk away, and make new friends. With experience, you'll be able to tell right from the first conversation who's going to stick around and who's going to walk off.

When all else fails, just talk to people. Doesn't even matter who. Talk to your friends, your parents, your brother, your teacher, your barber, that guy standing next to you while you wait for the elevator. Usually when someone is in a suicidal stage, they try to have as little social interaction as possible, and when they do it's usually hostile.

Also if you have an interest you should find a fanbase for it and stick to it.

 

[Bob Hoss]

Wait 20 days. If your life hasn't even had one measly good thing happen, consider changing your life, rather than ending it.

My "wait 20" rule hasn't failed me all the years I've wrestled with depression. Count to 20, if your still mad, do something. Wait 20 minutes, if you're sure your emotions make sense, keep 'em up. Wait 20 days, if things haven't changed, make them better yourself. Pick up a new hobby, pamper yourself, whatever. Just don't kill yourself. Kinda a waste, y'know?

 

[captaincabbage]

In the words of Tyrion Lannister: "Aah you see, death is so finite, whereas life, life is full of possibilities."

Listen to the Imp, he has good advice.

 

[Smooth Operator]

I'd recommend playing Katawa Shoujo. It might inspire you as it has so many others.

Indeed, nothing like a good cripple dating sim to pick you up

 

[CounterReproductive]

So I know that this isn't a place where I should/can vent my feelings, but everyone on here has always helped me out before so I'm really hoping someone can now. Simply put for the past few months everything has been going terribly in my life. Girlfriend broke up with me, friends turned into enemies, parents ignoring me and favoring my brother, all the while my depression (which I though had gone away) has been growing and growing. My life, up to this point, has been relatively easy to deal with. But everything happening at once really makes it hard to cope. I'm sure that someone on here has been in a worse situation then this, so I'm asking this from anyone. How do you deal with this?

If you will bear with me I will attempt to help, although this could take some time and we will take each point in turn. Please be aware i have no idea of your age so some of this may seem stupid or pointless. In my defense i have attemted suicide at a point way below where you are now, it was a silly gesture then as would yours be.

ok here we go

1 Your girlfriend left you, everybody goes through this, you are not alone, and hey look on the bright side you are single and can start to flirt with new girls, do the stuff you want to do.

2 Friends became enemies. If they were truly your friends they wouldn't have become your enemies so bluntly forget them, you don't need pricks like that in your life.

3 oparents ignoring you ? Wow I'd have loved it if my parents left me alone when i was growing up,Maybe they are not ignoring you, maybe, just maybe they are giving you some room to stand on your own two feet a little and grow up a little harder. Your parents divorced when you were seven and your brother blames you for it ? Sounds like bro is being an aggravating little shit. Ignore him, and move on.

Depression... been there done that, the trick was to look for anything however small to be positive about. I tried drugs ( they don't work ) alcohol (doesn't work) Happiness can only come from within. so just do the things that make you feel good/better about yourself. Just try to keep them within the bounds of legal activities.

 

[Cpu46]

My life, up to this point, has been relatively easy to deal with. But everything happening at once really makes it hard to cope.

Been exactly where you are now, situation was a little different, but the feeling you described is all to familiar. Life tends to hit you like an avalanche sometimes but trust me, you are stronger than this. People live through being scorned by lovers, betrayed by friends, abandoned by parents, and yes, even avalanches.

That isn't to say you are over reacting, I would feel the exact same way in your situation. However at my lowest point the one thing that kept me from even trying to plan a suicide was the idea that this is it. One life, one ticket, one trip. You end it here there is no coming back. No seeing what lies between here and whatever the destination is. Sure the pain will be over, but who says that pain would have lasted. Persevere, push through, take medication, go to a group. I don't care if you have to fight, yell, scream, or just plain shut down for a short time [footnote]Done all of these. Keep in mind these may not be fun, dignified, or painless but they are justified if it keeps you from taking your own life.[/footnote]

Just don't give up.

 

[orangeapples]

My question for you is: how do you vent?

Here's me in high school:
-Third child
--Older Sister in high school: Honor Roll, academic decathlete.
--Older Brother in high school: Private school, honor roll, ran track.
--Younger Sister in high school: honor roll, school band section leader
--Me: failed freshman English, no extra curricular activities
--Older Sister: Went to a 4 year university, finished in 5
--Older Brother: Went to a 4 year university, finished in 6
--younger sister: Went to a 4 year university, finishing in 3
--Me: went to a community college, finished in 4, then took a year off
Parents divorced when I was 8.
-I have, to this day, no real connection to my father since then.
I was overweight (210 lbs), now I'm 240 lbs. To this day I am the only overweight person in my close family.
I had 4 friends. I barely talk to them today.

There was really nothing going for me in my life. I was depressed and came to the conclusion that there was no reason for me to live. I told myself, I'm not going to be another statistic and I'm going to make a reason for me to live.

And here I am. I'm going to be 25 this year. I'm on track to be a teacher. I currently work with children. Give that a try. look for a job at a tutoring/daycare/after school learning center. You don't even have to really do anything when you work with the really young kids. They thank you for almost anything. Kinda weird, but when you see how happy and smiling and enjoying existing. I could care less about my problems. I might not be eating for the next few days? I could care less because those kids are happy, and I was able to be a part of that.

Now, when I was in school (both high school and community college), I had no plans of becoming a teacher. I was only there to be on my mom's health insurance plan. I just happened to stumble upon teaching and realized, this was perfect. I have new friends now too. Some of them were old acquaintances who I have become closer with than the people I met them through. Now, when I started looking at the positives in life, it wasn't a magical turn around of everything and the world was sunshine and rainbows. The world stayed the same, but I changed. Because I changed, I felt compelled to change the world around me. Change things for the better. As I made these changes to myself, my friends (complete roster change), the things that are important to me, slowly but surely the world around me did get better.

So I'll be going back to my initial question: how do you vent?

Here are some of the things I did. They may not work for you, or they may. Perhaps it may inspire you.
-I wrote poetry.
-I experimented with guitar and piano.
-I'd go running until I was exhausted (not very far at all)
-I'd fill the sink with water, close my eyes, take a deep breath and put my head under water just to feel the water on my face and close off my other senses.
-I'd fill the sink with water, close my eyes, take a deep breath and put my head under water and scream.
-I kicked stuff. brick walls, fences, trees (lots of big inanimate object that I couldn't break).
-I'd scream into pillows.
-I took up cooking (I'm not a very good cook, but I enjoy cooking, but more so the eating)
-I cleaned things
-I read a book
-I played video games
-I went to church
-I listened to music (Linkin Park, Green Day and Blink 182 will always have a place in my heart I am not kidding)
-I did origami

A lot of these things I still do. Being able to vent is crucial and some people just don't do it. They think activities like those above are pointless, and that's the beauty of it, many of them are. Try something you've always wanted to do, but felt it was beneath you in some way. I use the phrase "That was dumb, but at least I had fun" way more than when I was in high school and my life is definitely way more fun than when I was in high school. Stay away from smoking and alcohol; those just amplify whatever deeper level mood you were already in.

So think about how you can vent, because what worked for me might not work for you, but you could always try them out. Once you commit suicide, all of those opportunities are gone.

Most importantly, talk to someone in person. If you rally don't have anyone close to you that you can trust, go to the school guidance counselor. I know people make fun of them and what not, but they are there to help you. Talk to someone ASAP. Have you called a suicide hotline? You are not going to be a bother to these people by talking to them. Some of them are pretty bored and they need someone to talk to too. Just think about that; you have other options.

Well, it is 1AM for me, and I have got to go to sleep, so I'm not going to be replying anytime soon...

 

[Conza]

So I know that this isn't a place where I should/can vent my feelings, but everyone on here has always helped me out before so I'm really hoping someone can now. Simply put for the past few months everything has been going terribly in my life. Girlfriend broke up with me, friends turned into enemies, parents ignoring me and favoring my brother, all the while my depression (which I though had gone away) has been growing and growing. My life, up to this point, has been relatively easy to deal with. But everything happening at once really makes it hard to cope. I'm sure that someone on here has been in a worse situation then this, so I'm asking this from anyone. How do you deal with this?

I'm an unemployed workaholic, so, I would consider my personal situation to be worse, but its all subjective, I judge work as the most important thing in my life, and I'm lacking it, your priorities may be equally important to you.

You need to get even, not quit the game. That's how I like to look at it, if you quit, then they all win, but if you hang in there, you'll get your due, work hard and know what you want and it'll come.

 

[CrazyGirl17]

...I'm not sure what I can say to help change your mind. Maybe talking to someone like your parents or a school councilor will do it.

The point is, suicide isn't the answer, your life has so much meaning to it than that...

 

[HardkorSB]

Even though my parents have joint custody I rarely see either of them, when I do see them they usually comment on how I spend too much time in my room or how my brother does things better then I do.

So just tell them how you feel. Did you tell them what you told us even once? If not, that's part of the problem.

That's great that you can stay strong after being put down, but here's the thing. I can't. I'm not strong. I'm some creepy kid without too many friends.

Sure you can. I'm not strong. I just took so much shit throughout my life that the things that used to get me down do nothing to me. Plus, each time I go through the same thing, I already know how to react in order to get the best results. That's not strength, that's experience.

When I let people into my mind and show them who I really am, I usually don't expect them to use personal information against me.

How did I exactly use what you told us against you?
There's a difference attacking you and giving you constructive criticism. I see the flaws in your thinking and I point them out. If you're just going to dismiss the advice someone gives you without even trying to apply it to your life then why do you ask for advice?

Life is short, you'll be dead before you know it. If you don't care about it anyway then experiment. Do things you would normally be afraid to do. Go bungee jumping, learn parkour, walk up to the cutest girl you can find in your school and ask her out.
And don't tell me you can't. You can end your life but you can't live it?