So I'm seriously considering suicide.

[Angie7F]

So I know that this isn't a place where I should/can vent my feelings, but everyone on here has always helped me out before so I'm really hoping someone can now. Simply put for the past few months everything has been going terribly in my life. Girlfriend broke up with me, friends turned into enemies, parents ignoring me and favoring my brother, all the while my depression (which I though had gone away) has been growing and growing. My life, up to this point, has been relatively easy to deal with. But everything happening at once really makes it hard to cope. I'm sure that someone on here has been in a worse situation then this, so I'm asking this from anyone. How do you deal with this?

Girlfriend dumped you = Not worth dying over. You will meet a better girl and then you think "Why the hell did I even want to kill myself over THAT?"

Friend became enemies = Not worth dying over. Once you graduate school, you wont even see them anymore. Screw them, go find some other people to hang out with.

Parents ignoring you etc = This can be tougher because unlike girls and friends, you are stuck with them for life.
Also, your expectations for your parents to love you unconditionally has been imprinted in you since you were tiny, so it hurts real bad when they are cold to you.
You will have to come to terms with the fact that parents are human too and they are very very flawed, despite them seeming to be gods to their children. Try reading books like "Toxic Parents" and you will get the idea.
What I am trying to say is not go hate your parents, but try to accept their faults, and be the bigger and better man. If you can be like that to your parents, you will find any other human relationship easier to handle.

depression = this is also tough because unless you take care of the cause and overcome it, it puts a damper over everything in your life.
I know its hard to understand the cause of your depression when you are in the midst of it.
So I just want you to know that its ok to feel like you are the most saddest person in the world. Dont bother thinking about how there are other people who are in much worse situations. You are not them, and right now your life sucks and that is all that matters. dont be afraid to be selfish.

But in the end, you can always kill yourself later, so try postponing it.

When I was suicidal I used to think about how exactly I would execute it and I realized it was too much trouble and postponed it, and I have postponed it for over 14 years now.

 

[buddee1]

When I let people into my mind and show them who I really am, I usually don't expect them to use personal information against me.

How did I exactly use what you told us against you?

I wasn't referring to you at all.

 

[cambamuniverse]

The point is, don't do it. Reading the other posts it seems as though it's all been sorted out, but I will add my 2 cents in because I used to be like you. That's probably a stupid thing to say, I don't want you to think I know exactly what you're going through but in middle school all of my friends and family abandoned me, and I planned my own suicide, it was either that or run away. I saved up money to buy guns and thought about being a hitman or mercenary because I wanted to go out with a bang. Then I met a girl, loved her, but she dumped me, and I wanted to commit suicide all over again. But eventually I realized that these people who ruined my life were not worthy of my tears or my bloodshed, and I realized it was all PERSPECTIVE. If you view yourself as insignificant, then you're gonna put importance on others which is a no-no. If you're a "creepy kid" then find other creepy kids. Join the drama club (I'm an actor, love the drama club but we get weird kids here and there but we accept them because we're cool) it's about perspective and confidence. Eleanor Roosevelt said that it is only you who can control what hurts you, so don't let others hurt you. If people call you ugly or say that you'll be unsuccessful, why give them the satisfaction? Get on the cover of GQ and make millions. The girl who made me want to commit suicide? I don't give a damn about her anymore. In fact we became good friends after that. Suicide would be a mistake, so don't do it. Get through these difficult times, join an after school activity. Joining drama was the best thing I ever did because it gave me friends (and also teh womenz). S*** happens, fight through the pain, and show people that you're better than they think (and not by shooting up the schoool either, just be confident). I watched a lot of confidence videos, got cleaned up, worked out a lot, became great at acting, and it was all something to do, and now I am confident and people (not everyone, because we all have haters) but a lot of people love me. Work towards tomorrow. Forget the past. At this point I'm rambling, I've said my piece, good night.

 

[NightmareWarden]

I was going through a terrible depression a year ago so I think that I might be able to help. Did I take pills for it? No. Did I talk to a therapist for it? No. Would I have felt better if I had done one of those? Probably, but I was stubborn and I was against for personal reasons at the time. Why should you give up on everything when you haven't even tried everything? If it even has a chance to help, don't count it off. If you don't want to take pills or see a shrink, that's your choice, but make sure that you bother to look at some more options online. Learn a little bit about how other people have been depressed, how others have tried to help, and how people have come out of a serious depression or a slump.

I realize it has been said, but changing the way you think does help. Do I think that you should plaster on a fake smile and just "be happy"? Heck no, you should sit down and figure out your beliefs and your interests. One thing that helped me is that sometimes I would just sit down and start typing. Sometimes it would be like a diary entry, sometimes it would be a design for a character if I was considering on writing a little story. Whether it is just starting to do something about how you're feeling, writing your feelings down, or even something like "getting a new hobby" or "trying a new sport", just keep going. I don't just mean just keep living, you need to just do something even if it is something which you think you could be made fun of for so long as it is something that you think it is worth doing. I like to read on these forums because some of the threads really make me think. Do I get a tangible benefit from them? Not necessarily. Do I have to do it? No. Can I get my feelings hurt or could I feel worse afterwards? Yeah, but I won't feel that way forever. The most important thing that I realized after my depression slowly started to end is just that... it started to end. If you just keep moving forward and make as few stops as possible, you will move out of this crappy time.

(sort of messed up part incoming, please don't comment on this, but I think that he needs to hear this if it even has a chance to help)
This last bit is going to sound...odd but it kind of helped me. When I realized that I was depressed, I realized that one of my problems was that I dwelled on every. little. thing. If I felt really guilty or I was sad because I had done something stupid and I was feeling down on myself I did the only thing that I thought made sense at the time...I punished myself for it. NOT LIKE THAT. A slap to the face, a punch to the gut. Cutting yourself didn't really make sense to me in all honesty... The first two were actually, well bracing. I didn't beat the crap out of myself obviously, but dwelling on something really can hurt you far worse.


I still believe I may be a bit screwed up in the head, but I would do anything to keep the perspective I have now. Give some little part of yourself importance. Give yourself a few good points by being honest about your good points, even if they may be irrelevant and expand on them. Make your rules to live by and just keep going. I'm not saying your life will become amazing, but it WILL end.

 

[Saint of M]

I'm not going to say things could be worse as they can, but that doesn't mitigate the fact that life is still hitting the fan. Maybe family counseling, see a therapist, and demand why your brother always blame your parents divorce on you and why your parents make comments on how your brother is better.

Specifically for now your brother. How old is he because statements like I blame you for mom and dad getting a divorce when you were 7 is asinine, and I would call him out on it.

 

[Endersgate1321]

So I know that this isn't a place where I should/can vent my feelings, but everyone on here has always helped me out before so I'm really hoping someone can now. Simply put for the past few months everything has been going terribly in my life. Girlfriend broke up with me, friends turned into enemies, parents ignoring me and favoring my brother, all the while my depression (which I though had gone away) has been growing and growing. My life, up to this point, has been relatively easy to deal with. But everything happening at once really makes it hard to cope. I'm sure that someone on here has been in a worse situation then this, so I'm asking this from anyone. How do you deal with this?

The thing to remember that it is all happening at once and just like any storm no matter how strong it will pass. I've been thier and gone down that road myself but if it wasent for finding something to look foward too I'd be gone. It will pass buddy keep hanging on.

 

[TheRightToArmBears]

I just came through that, I guess the details are different, but in the end it's all much of a muchness. What I realised when it came up, and what you'll see (if you're not seeing it here), is that people really do give a shit about you. Hell, look at the support you've got from a bunch of strangers.


Secondly, things will get better. You can make new friends and new people, all the feelings you have for your ex-girlfriend are going to fade (you'll realise all the clichés are true; letting go really is the hardest bit, and it's horrible feeling like there's something left unsaid (although you'll always think of something else, so don't go there)). There'll be something new on the horizon, there really will.

I'd bet a lot of money that you think we couldn't possibly understand and that your situation is unique, but it's not. That's not to say it's less-bad, but we understand. If we weren't separated by many miles I'd give you a hug. I wouldn't suggest you get counselling or whatever because I doubt there's much they could do for you. This is one of those things that gets better with time. You might not believe me now but in a few months you'll see (trust me here).

 

[Timberwolf0924]

Please don't take this as trolling, because it's not meant to be.

I cannot take a person thinking of commiting suicide seriously. I haven't been there, I've never been depressed, and I've lost so much that even my family wanted me to go to a therapist even though I was always laughing and having fun.

The woman I was with for 7 years, from my freshman year in highschool, till my sophmore year in college, had me kicked out of the hospital the day our son was born. (Luckly I had just turned in the paper work so he got name I was wanting for him) I to this day don't know why. When I took her to court for custody, she was quoted saying "I grew up without a father, my son can grow up without his" which in retrosepct didn't help her at all..

So within 24hours I lost not only the love of my life, but also my son, who I didn't see for 8 months. Then I was arrested when trying to pick him up from her house because she said I threatened to kill her family and had a cop waiting for me, he searched my car and found a pocket knife in my glove compartment and that was used as evidence. I was held for a week no bail. Though charges were dropped I'm still on a 1 year probation because of it.

The whole time, I hadn't let myself get down.

Life isn't about learning to wait out the rain.. it's about learning to dance when the storm rages around you.

Find that silver lining.

In jail I met up with two strong Christian guys and they helped my faith grow.

The time I spent fighting for my sun I met a great woman, who I am now not dating, but the time I had with her was so much more fun than the 7 years I had with my baby's mama. She let me know that relationships don't have to be so mundane..

We got into a mall after it was clsoed and just walked around for an hour, untill security kicked us out. (the movie theater was still open so we used that entrance)

We went to savannah and made love in a hotel suite that I would've never wen to with my baby's mama.

I bought a 04 Subaru STI and drag raced and did autocross and almost flipped it down a mountain.

I lived for once.

Depression takes up to much energy, to sit around and ponder the knife (I own about 300) or the gun (3 of them) or the pills (my brother can litteraly get anything) or just driving my car of a moutian where people die ever year. It'd look like an accident.

But think about th people you leave behind. Your parents, your brother, your real friends. The people who care about you will be the most hurt, the ones who hurt you the most won't care.

Why put your family through the pain of having, to bury you, to miss you, to wonder what they did wrong. To cause them to hurt because they are blaming themselves.

TLR

Don't do it, there's so much more you can do with life if you use it. It's the longest thing you'll ever do, so don't waste the potental you are and have because someone left you and someone won't talk to you. You're 17, I was out of the house at 16, working and finishing high school. But you'll get better, life always looks up when you try.

 

[The Funslinger]

Alright man, get those thoughts out of your mind right this second. The more you think about it, the more likely you are to actually do it. Do WHATEVER you have to do in order to get those thoughts out of your head. I GUARANTEE my situation is a LOT worse than yours. I will NOT allow you to do such a thing. I'm suffering from PTSD with vivid hallucinations of suicide, and if I'm not gonna do it, then you'd better not either. Do you mind me asking how old you are? I'm getting the impression that you are fairly young. I've been hit with the Trifecta of failure as a man, I am a failure as an employee at my last job, I'm a failure as a husband, and I'm a failure as a father. All three of which hit me during the same month (domino effect). Say whatever you need to say, I'm hear to listen.

Seems like this guy knows his shit, OP.

Personally, I'm dealing with clinical depression, an inability to find a job, still feeling like an outcast at times (despite the fact that I'm somewhat befriending everyone I meet, so it's the paranoia side of the depression for you!) I haven't had sex in... well, a while. Given my current situation, the chances of me getting into a relationship are incredibly low. I had settled with that, and sort of numbed to it, but last night I had a very vivid dream where I was in one. Now that wound is totally raw again.

Earlier this summer, I was screwed over by my friend of three years. She's started using her sexuality as a weapon. Honestly, she reminds me of Queen Cersei from A Song of Ice and Fire. Yeah, she can use her sexuality to manipulate people to great effect, and she thinks she's very subtle and smart, but from what I've seen of her recently, she really isn't.

All in all, I'm not doing great. But I'm not contemplating suicide. Why? Because I've planned. It doesn't matter how I'm doing now, because I will be doing better within a few years. Fucking count on that.

Finish A Levels.
Go to America to attend college.
Gap year.
Enter the Royal Marines, back here in ol' England.
Move to America properly.
Be awesome.

The next ten years of my life right there. And it will happen, because when I figure a working logical plan for something, I make it happen.

 

[Gyrohelix]

It gets better.

That'll probably be the most honest, simplest advice one can give.

And if My Little Pony doesn't make you smile a little, you're not human.

^ That

 

[Rin Little]

I know how you feel. I really do. I have depression and only a few months ago I thought I was literally going to go insane. At one point my mom and friend found me curled up on my bed, rocking back and forth, holding my head between my hands for no real reason other than the thoughts that were running through my head. The best advice I can give you is find a therapist to talk to, it can work wonders for you. I don't have one now but I went to one for just a few months and during those few months things were so much easier to handle than if I hadn't gone. And remember that there are people around you who love you even if it doesn't feel like it at the moment.

 

[Olas]

Suicide: a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

 

[ED-Tw0 ZeRo N9nE]

Are you still amongst the living OP? I've had some net problems for the last few days among a few other things taking up my time, so I haven't been able to get on here. I'm just wanting to make sure you didn't do anything stupid in my absence. I promise you, if you just hold out for a few years, there will come a time when you'll look back on this moment in your life and realise just how unimportant it actually is. Things WILL get better, and on that day you'll be a cynicle old bastard like myself, screaming at the kids to "GET OFF YOUR LAWN!"

 

[bleys2487]

Things always get worse before they get better.

^This.