So, my family is homophobic.

[Shoggoth2588]

My uncle on my father's side kicked his first-born daughter out of the house when she came out and as far as I know has kept his distance from her since then. I don't know how old she was when she came out (my guess is 18 or 19) but she's 27 now and, married to an awesome person. It's too bad my uncle is missing out on it but hey, his loss. Aside from that, my Dad's side of the family has always shown signs of bigotry to a degree (like my dad's liberal use of the N-bomb) whereas my mother's side has been more liberal (dun-dun-DUUUUUUUUUUHN) with the exception of my mom herself who is actually quite conservative...up until that point of sexual preference (my mom, cousin and, cousin's wife got along really well the few times they've met as an example).

My Dad's side has been distancing themselves from me which is fine. I never knew my Dad's Dad and it looks like if I ever adopt a kid s/he won't know mine. As for my Dad himself, I really wouldn't care if I didn't see him again. I miss him when he's not around but every time I'm out with him he does or says something that just pisses me off and makes me embarrassed to have come from him.

I fully support equal marriage rights and know that its only a matter of time before same-sex marriage is a wide-spread thing. Personally, (beware possible TMI territory but I've talked about this before probably) I am pretty disgusted by sex and sex organs (although that salamander which was discovered in Brazil has sparked that phallic appreciation most little boys go through). I guess that would make me an asexual (mostly: please don't look too closely at the fact that I'm still flirtatious and have a serious girlfriend). This post is long enough now so I'll just go away and be unhelpful elsewhere...stay strong though OP. Final note OP: I love your avatar and totally get the reference!

 

[chadachada123]

The biggest issue I see, and one that, if resolved, could probably help a lot with the homophobia, is the fallacy that there is only Republican and Democrat.

Libertarianism is fucking awesome, and from a legal standpoint does not discriminate against homosexuality. Get your parents to recognize that not being Republican does not, in any sense, make you a liberal. This alone should, hopefully, make them realize that all choices are not binary.

 

[The Tibballs]

*snip*
They've gone to lengths to let me know that if I ever came out of the closet, they would absolutely disown me, and it makes me feel bad that they would say something like that so easily and still come back to assure me that they love me completely.
*snip*

Maybe you should absolutely disown them first preferably with a .45 caliber for being fucking ignorant/intolerant arsehats.

Well half jokes aside.
If you want my advice as soon as you can you should cut ties with them, more to a different state or even country and maybe change your name as well. That's what I'd do if I were you, that or the first idea.

 

[Dangit2019]

FALCON SNIP

Yeah, I used to be like that too. I never really gave it any thought in elementary, because you don't see a lot of gay 4-year-olds in Texas. But as I grew up and found gay people who were awesome (you're thinking Alan Turing, I'm thinking him along with Neil Patrick Harris), it became clear to me that I couldn't label it as a be-all-end-all magic sin that makes people bad. That thinking melts away in high school because you start realizing that few people in the world are "bad guys" and "good guys". I have friends from different races and religions and no one seems to care, but if I were to bring home some girl/friend who acted completely normal, but preferred the ladies instead, suddenly everyone acts as if I brought a dog rapist inside and he was already eyeing my golden retriever. It's just completely a double standard.

ALSO TO EVERYONE IN THE THREAD:

No, I don't want to rush the moving out process or make a run for Canada because while this topic is a bit upsetting to me, they usually don't act like idiots and this is just a very disturbing exception that I needed to get out of my system. I should mention that at least they're not racist too, or we would have an even bigger problem.

 

[Dangit2019]

I have an uncle who legitimately thinks communism was (literally) created by the devil, and that the jews invent EVERYTHING (i tried explaining to him that while they certainly do invent some things the western world and japan/china invents most things - he did not agree - they are all thieves) and that soon they will make you put a barcode on your forhead in place of a credit card and if you take it your going to hell. arguing with him will do nothing. you can have the most well reasoned argument in the world and his response is "read the bible" regardless of weather you have a bible in front of him. he is still family though - i have to see him 2 times a year and its much more pleasant if you just talk about sports and cars.

Oh, those crazy Jews. Just by curiosity, what would be the endgame of them inventing everything? That seems very helpful to the non-Jewish people (in this hypothetical situation in which he's right for once). Also, wasn't the barcode thing in a Iron Maiden song?

 

[The White Hunter]

My family, however, is homophobic to a point where I couldn't even have reasonable discussion with them on the topic because "OMG THEY HAVE SEX IN THE BUTT".

That they do. So do heterosexual couples.

I have a girlfriend and we do that, so what? Always my favourite argument to debunk, I'd love to find you some statistics on varying orientations and how often they engage in such activities but I'm sure googling it would oblige.

At any rate, I shall now read the rest of your post before:

On topic; sadly some of us have to live with morons. My family are both homophobic and very racist. This made growing up as a bisexual both interesting and difficult. And when they eventually meet my girlfriend they will likely call her various unpleasant names for being both american and mexican in descent.

My advice? Just put up with it till you can move out and don't worry too much about it.
If you are gay (I'm not accusing you of anything, just a hypothetical), don't worry about it, say you're going to a strip club with your manly friends to look at tits instead of telling them you're going to your boyfriends house.

 

[The White Hunter]

No, I don't want to rush the moving out process or make a run for Canada because while this topic is a bit upsetting to me, they usually don't act like idiots and this is just a very disturbing exception that I needed to get out of my system. I should mention that at least they're not racist too, or we would have an even bigger problem.

Don't rush it then but you'll probably just need to tolerate it sadly.

And from what I've been told by canadians I've met they have pretty shitty homophobia stuff going on there too.

My recommendation would be Sweden, because I'm yet to meet a Swede influenced by religion in any form beyond disdain for religion.

 

[Dangit2019]

The biggest issue I see, and one that, if resolved, could probably help a lot with the homophobia, is the fallacy that there is only Republican and Democrat.

Libertarianism is fucking awesome, and from a legal standpoint does not discriminate against homosexuality. Get your parents to recognize that not being Republican does not, in any sense, make you a liberal. This alone should, hopefully, make them realize that all choices are not binary.

I would mention Libertarianism, but that would be like an Olympic announcer talking about all the good track runners who never win the race.

​

Without joking though, have you not noticed that all they want and all they will strive for in politics is for things TO be binary? That way everybody gets to act like they're "the good guys" and everyone on the other side are "the bad guys" and they can act as if they're some messed up version of Luke Skywalker by projecting everything bad in the world on the other party. It really screws up the political system because now instead of people electing who they think is the smartest candidate, they choose whichever guy chooses to wave around his flag the most. Holy crap, maybe I should have posted this in R&P. (looks at religion threads) Oh wait never mind.

 

[Aurora Firestorm]

snip

This. I'll just repeat this.

My family is similar. And y'know, upbringing is a huge deal, and if your family is around the age of mine, they have five or so decades of their own beliefs to stew in. You are not going to bring that down in a year, or ten years, or possibly ever.

My suggestion is, as depressing as it sounds, just don't even try. Older folk are really set in stone, and they have to be put up with, more than corrected. Especially if they're your family, since you will always be the kid to them, and kids aren't ever right, because Parents Are Wise.

Don't start that fight. It's not going to work.

 

[Dangit2019]

No, I don't want to rush the moving out process or make a run for Canada because while this topic is a bit upsetting to me, they usually don't act like idiots and this is just a very disturbing exception that I needed to get out of my system. I should mention that at least they're not racist too, or we would have an even bigger problem.

Don't rush it then but you'll probably just need to tolerate it sadly.

And from what I've been told by canadians I've met they have pretty shitty homophobia stuff going on there too.

My recommendation would be Sweden, because I'm yet to meet a Swede influenced by religion in any form beyond disdain for religion.

Remember where Texas is, it's not very close to Sweden and besides, my concept of Sweden is a country filled with a million people who sound like PewDiePie (because I spend way too much time on the Internet). Maybe I'll try Mexico; hold on for a second.

(gets on bus)
(crosses border)
(finds local hotel)
(gets shot by cartels in nearby turf war)
(crawls back onto bus)
(applies pressure to wound)
(gets home)
(turns laptop on)

Nope, that didn't work either. Crap.

 

[MysticToast]

Well I'm assuming you're family is religious judging by how strongly they feel about gay people (being religious isn't wrong. I'm religious too). I would just tell them what I always like to tell people.

Jesus hung out with prostitutes, thieves, con artists, and just general assholes and loved them all. Tell your family they should follow his example.

It's about the only way I can think of to combat the religious ignorance.

EDIT: That's not to say it always works.

 

[felbot]

well simple, just buy some gay porn and hide it under their pillows when they sleep, then watch as they freak out and starts calling each other faggots, make sure to buy a magazine for yourself and hide it under your pillow so you look like a victim too.

 

[Senare]

What kind of outcome do you want? Do you want them to change opinions, do you want to be respected for holding a different opinion, do you want good arguments for some cause, or do you just want some emotional peace of mind and just not be annoyed by their opinions?

Curiously, they also seem to be using at least one of the following in their argumentation: http://www.cracked.com/article_16656_6-brainwashing-techniques-theyre-using-you-right-now.html

 

[CentralScrtnzr]

Are you gay? Is there serious risk of being disowned if you are, and if your parents found out?

If that's the case, I would avoid the topic thoroughly until you're old and independent enough that you will not be in any serious danger.

If not, well. You make the argument against homophobia to your family. However, you cannot force them to change their minds. You may find that you convince them not in the short-run, but in the very long-run. So you just have to be patient. If queried, make your arguments, but do not force your world-view upon them.

You just have to be patient.