So my girlfriend and I broke up...

[Nom Pretentieux]

And really, I do not want this to happen. We've been dating for 2 and a half years, been basically living together for the last two years, and I'm not done with this relationship. I've screwed up in a lot of ways, basically neglecting the romantic side of our relationship and only been riding on the safety side, and using her as a sort of buffer in the conflicts in my family.

Now she doesn't feel the same way about me anymore. She still wants to be friends, and I think we'll be able to because we still have a lot of fun together. But basically, I'm not done with this relationship, I still love her in a romantic sense, and am willing to do everything she says was wrong with our relationship more rightly to make it work. Also, this is not me "changing who I am" to keep her, I agree with her on where we(read: I)fucked up the relationship, and I want to change it. I want another chance but she says the thing that was there isn't any more.

Is there really nothing I can do?

 

[TerribleAssassin]

Nope. Sorry dude, your gonna hear it a thousand times, but, if you truly love her, you'll let yourself and herself move on and support her with what she does.


Cliche, I know, but the truth.

 

[rekabdarb]

rape is bad mmkay.

Ask her to her face (Although this is probably stupid) so you feel nothing romantically?

And well that's about it. GL

but if she wants to move on... then you're probably SoL. Use this experience for your next relationship and don't kill yourself over it.

 

[MRMIdAS2k]

Theeres plenty you can do.

communicate these feelings to her, explain that you know you fucked up, took her for granted, but you never saw you losing her in that way.

ask if she can find it in her heart to give it one more go, and date her like its your first, go the whole fucking hog, and make up for that shit.

if she says no, lesson learned, you're smarter, wiser, and hopefully, won't do that again.

 

[Squidden]

Agreed. Probably just make 1 more attempt to ask if there is anything you can do, and if not, move on.

EDIT: Agreed to 1st two responses

 

[MassiveGeek]

Well. I can really relate to the "not-realising-how-fucked-it-ended-up-until-too-late" situation, but in my case it's been because I didn't really go well together with the person I was with. The only "advice" I can really give you is to really explain the situation to her - tell her exactly how you feel about this, about the messing up, explain it to her as calm as possible and listen carefully to her response. Oh, and for god's sake don't reply to any questions she might ask with "I don't know", because that's severely frustrating.
And... if she still doesn't want the relationship to go on...

Respect it. Take both her and yourself into consideration here as well: if you can't be around her without feeling the weight of an unhappy crush, if you can't help being flirtatious and maybe push yourself onto her, then maybe it's for the best for you to not hang out at all, at least for a while. It won't be good for any of you if you hanging out equals frustration.

Because you really have to consider both of you: it's not about her, or you, it's about the BOTH of you. Make the best of the situation, avoid the drama and let your sense into it all.

That's my advice, or well, more of a recommendation. Hope I helped.

 

[Nom Pretentieux]

How the hell do I move on though? I know it's clicheed and one can say as much as they want about young love, but there are a lot of issues in my life that she's basically fixed, that are now coming back worse than ever, and I am truly stumped as to how I am supposed to handle this.

mrmidas, thanks for those words, I'll try that. I sort of have, but I think it might help to put it as bluntly as you just did. The thing is, the entire world basically agrees we're the perfect couple, and that just amplifies how bad I've fucked up.

 

[SnootyEnglishman]

Just try asking once and only once for her forgiveness and a chance to try again. Should that fail..move on with yourself knowing the mistakes you have made, and find a new love with the new found wisdom.

 

[JediMB]

My favorite song for years is Affirmation. There is more truth in that one song than in most philosophy books. Two phrases seem to fit here:

I believe in Karma what you give is what you get returned

I believe you don't know what you've got until you say goodbye

...

Oh my god, thank you for reminding me of that song.

*youtubes*

 

[Nom Pretentieux]

Worst thing is I'm falling apart to the point where my body is taking a gigantic punch. I'm having stomach issues, soaring headaches and frequent nosebleeds. I'm going through constant minor panic attacks. I appreciate all your advice but the thing is that I need to find a solution, some way to live with myself after she moves tomorrow if I am to avoid having to put myself into the insane asylum or something. This is quite literally becoming the end of me.

 

[mortalsatsuma]

My friend just broke up with his girlfriend of two and a half years. She wanted to continue it, he didn't and after they broke up she wanted to get back together, so they did for one day and immediately broke up again. The point is, everything has its time and dies. I'm not saying don't try to get her back just once, but things may not be the same if you do get back together. If there's only one of you who is really into this relationship it probably won't last very long if you do get back together. It's best to just move on and get on with life, don't let something like this bog you down.

 

[yizas]

The best thing to do is to move on, nothing lasts forever specially relantionships, had a good run, now say farewell and take care

 

[Vanguard_Ex]

Worst thing is I'm falling apart to the point where my body is taking a gigantic punch. I'm having stomach issues, soaring headaches and frequent nosebleeds. I'm going through constant minor panic attacks. I appreciate all your advice but the thing is that I need to find a solution, some way to live with myself after she moves tomorrow if I am to avoid having to put myself into the insane asylum or something. This is quite literally becoming the end of me.

Anger. Anger will let you move on, faster than you ever thought you could. For sake of example, let's just plot this scenario out as if you're like me:
Keep trying to get her back, but it doesn't seem to be getting anywhere and reluctant as she is, she keeps walking away. For a good while you'll be distraught, broken, an empty shell of the person you were. And then, one day, something deep inside you will flick on. A very slight anger towards her, for what she's put you through. Eventually, you'll probably even find yourself wanting to hate her.

Sound stupid? If so then fair enough, we're probably completely different people, but if there's any 3 things that help you move on it's good friends, a new woman interest who understands, and anger. All 3 combined are unbeatable.
Best of luck to you buddy, I'll always be a message away.

 

[The Rockerfly]

How did you 'fuck up' in your relationship then?

EDIT: You want advice
Some good mates
find a new woman, if you truly want her back just use her to make your sweet heart jealous. If worst comes to worst you have the new woman
Try boxing, going to the gym or just generally burning some stress

I wish you good luck mate, I've been there before and these are going to be some hard times ahead

 

[Ham_authority95]

And really, I do not want this to happen. We've been dating for 2 and a half years, been basically living together for the last two years, and I'm not done with this relationship. I've screwed up in a lot of ways, basically neglecting the romantic side of our relationship and only been riding on the safety side, and using her as a sort of buffer in the conflicts in my family.

Now she doesn't feel the same way about me anymore. She still wants to be friends, and I think we'll be able to because we still have a lot of fun together. But basically, I'm not done with this relationship, I still love her in a romantic sense, and am willing to do everything she says was wrong with our relationship more rightly to make it work. Also, this is not me "changing who I am" to keep her, I agree with her on where we(read: I)fucked up the relationship, and I want to change it. I want another chance but she says the thing that was there isn't any more.

Is there really nothing I can do?

If you truly care for her feelings, you will let her move on.

Some things in life you need to just move on from, and this is one of them. Don't try to scramble to save the sinking ship, or else you'll just be left floating in the water feeling even more alone.

Grab a hobby or hang out with some friends to get your mind off this. Who knows? Maybe one of your friends will introduce someone new...

 

[Ham_authority95]

How the hell do I move on though? I know it's clicheed and one can say as much as they want about young love, but there are a lot of issues in my life that she's basically fixed, that are now coming back worse than ever, and I am truly stumped as to how I am supposed to handle this.

Your problem is highlighted.

You've become too dependent on her to solve your problems. Both emotionally and practically.

What you need to do is to find other people(not just girls but FRIENDS) to help you with this shit. By the time you do that, you will also find that you've moved on as well.

It's painful at first, but it will be over eventually.