So, my girlfriend is in porn and I don't know what to do.

[DeimosMasque]

So.... I decided that not asking would be the smart, safe and generally best decision. For those of you who know me, this will come as little surprise. What will come as even less of a surprise is that I asked her anyway.

It's her. She started crying once I made it clear that I didn't mind, she got a bit better. She's still kinda bummed that I found out, but she thought it was adorable that I was so worried about bringing it up.

I know I was late the the party here but honestly you handled it like most people would have. It would have nagged you and harmed he relationship if you had not found out one way or another.

I'm surprised she cried, but I suppose it was because she originally thought that she was about to be broken up with. Just make sure she absolutely knows you are okay with it and you don't look down on her because of it. EDIT: (I do assume that since she thought you wouldn't ever known that it isn't something she does anymore.)

My girlfriend isn't exactly in porn, she's an adult model and does some solo scenes for her website, paid webcam shows and custom video/picture sets. Thing is I'm the photographer for those videos and photos so its sort of become our thing. But if I had found out randomly like you had I would have felt the same way.

Hell even when she was going to do a girl girl scene for a web cam show without me being there or even in the same building I got a bit weirded out and nervous, and we have been together for 8 years and she's been doing it for 7 of them.

 

[artanis_neravar]

So.... I decided that not asking would be the smart, safe and generally best decision. For those of you who know me, this will come as little surprise. What will come as even less of a surprise is that I asked her anyway.

It's her. She started crying once I made it clear that I didn't mind, she got a bit better. She's still kinda bummed that I found out, but she thought it was adorable that I was so worried about bringing it up.

I must give you credit, you handled it well I know many people who have flipped out at her. (Granted ones of these people has claimed that "Sex before marriage doesn't count if you are drunk" and "Dude, she won't remember it in the morning") I'm pretty sure I would be OK with it, assuming she wasn't still doing it.

 

[jackpackage200]

So.... I decided that not asking would be the smart, safe and generally best decision. For those of you who know me, this will come as little surprise. What will come as even less of a surprise is that I asked her anyway.

It's her. She started crying once I made it clear that I didn't mind, she got a bit better. She's still kinda bummed that I found out, but she thought it was adorable that I was so worried about bringing it up.

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWW... Sorry I am sucker for a happy ending. I am sure that now that it is out in the open your relationship will be stronger. That took balls to ask her.

 

[Evil Smurf]

Best thread title ever. Just wanted to throw that in.

Agreed. Even better since it's on a videogame forum.

OT: If it was my girlfriend, I couldn't hack it. Yes, I'd talk to her first but I couldn't keep going out with her, with the knowledge that she has sex for a living. Does that make me possessive? If it does, so be it, I'm possessive.

no, that makes you reasonable. shes a concealing *****, id be mad too. "oh hey, i was in pronography, being fucked by some random guy, but i forgot to tell you." she obviously dosent love you that much if she cant tell you that she was in some unsavory stuff.

Unless she was afraid of the consequence. Have you ever lied to get out of trouble?

nope. not once[okay, maybe as a kid]. lieing only makes it worse.

It really depends on how secure you are and the trust you have with people. I lie to get out of trouble not to friends however.

 

[snake4769]

Picture comparison, or i call shenanigans. I WANTS NAO

 

[Sexy Devil]

So.... I decided that not asking would be the smart, safe and generally best decision. For those of you who know me, this will come as little surprise. What will come as even less of a surprise is that I asked her anyway.

It's her. She started crying once I made it clear that I didn't mind, she got a bit better. She's still kinda bummed that I found out, but she thought it was adorable that I was so worried about bringing it up.

Now you definitely have to try pull out and finish at least once for the lols.

 

[Viivrabe]

ITT everyone thinks in a porno = Porn star

in a porno = in a porno

all porn stars have been in porn, but not everyone in porn is a porn star

 

[Montezuma's Lawyer]

So, there's this girl at school that I've been casually dating for a while now, and it started getting serious about a week ago. Yesterday I saw a banner ad on a website that linked to several pornographic videos. What caught my attention was an eerie feeling that I recognized one of the girls, so I clicked on the link. I'm 98% sure it's her, but I don't know if I want to bring it up or not.

I don't have a problem with it, if she is, but I'm afraid of what impact it would have on us as a couple this early in the relationship, and even more afraid of what would happen if I ask and it wasn't her. What would you do in this situation?

EDIT: I am an American, in University and the girl in question is 21.

What exactly is the big deal?

You might want to go watch Chasing Amy and see why your being upset about this is pointless and stupid.

 

[Eclectic Dreck]

If it makes you uncomfortable, talk to her about it. A relationship can't work too well on an emotional level if there isn't open communication about your feelings.

I'd say this is probably the best answer. Yes, the discussion might be uncomfortable but I figure by the time you're in your 20's you can probably admit to watching porn and so forth without much fear. From my perspective, the problem I'd have with that scenario is purely a health concern. It might not be romantic, but getting a clean bill of health from a doctor before engaging in any high risk activities is prudent.

 

[MorganL4]

If you want to be 100% sure, find out who the actress in the porn is, and find a video she is in, then compare her voice to your girlfriend's and if they are a match then you have definitive proof. And if you so choose, broach the subject with her.

 

[ThreeWords]

Here is what you should do:

You: Hey, I was looking up *INSERT PORN SITE* the other day.
Girl: Yeah?
You: I SAW YOU IN IT YOU SLUTTY ***** *THROW DRINK IN HER FACE AND RUN*

That'll show her......

I SEE NO POSSIBLY WAY IN WHICH THIS COULD FAIL.

 

[Dr Jones]

"...girl at school..." I sincerely hope you don't come from the UK, or that is just outright wrong.

She is 21.

 

[Evil Smurf]

I found the link!
-snip-

...Thats an old Link, I found a more recent one
-snip-

I found a really sexy link. OP should be worried!
-snip-

When you find Links like this:
...That's when you Reaally need to worry.

This is terrifying!
http://www.cosplaya.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/link-as-a-guy-cosplay.jpg

 

[odanhammer]

get her drunk , ignore her and touch her face alot , then take her a hotel room and bang the shit out of her.

 

[FernandoV]

So, there's this girl at school that I've been casually dating for a while now, and it started getting serious about a week ago. Yesterday I saw a banner ad on a website that linked to several pornographic videos. What caught my attention was an eerie feeling that I recognized one of the girls, so I clicked on the link. I'm 98% sure it's her, but I don't know if I want to bring it up or not.

I don't have a problem with it, if she is, but I'm afraid of what impact it would have on us as a couple this early in the relationship, and even more afraid of what would happen if I ask and it wasn't her. What would you do in this situation?

EDIT: I am an American, in University and the girl in question is 21.

Alright, please please do not mention it. If you can deal with it in a relationship then you shouldn't have to bring it up. If she brings it up, then that's her decision but DO NOT act different because you have this information. Trust me.

 

[Panzer_God]

So.... I decided that not asking would be the smart, safe and generally best decision. For those of you who know me, this will come as little surprise. What will come as even less of a surprise is that I asked her anyway.

It's her. She started crying once I made it clear that I didn't mind, she got a bit better. She's still kinda bummed that I found out, but she thought it was adorable that I was so worried about bringing it up.

Was it just something she did then and has stopped now? Or is she still doing it? Kind of wondering since it if it's still going I would imagine it would have had to come out sooner or later.

wow man! Has she got a job as a porn star or was it sominthing she did because she needed the money? My advice is buy her chocolate. She needs to relax and feel happy.

It was a few times thing, and she never really closed the door on doing it again, but it's not ongoing, if that makes any sense. She's not doing it anymore, but she wouldn't mind doing it again if she needs the money.

 

[Panzer_God]

I found the link!
-snip-

...Thats an old Link, I found a more recent one
-snip-

I found a really sexy link. OP should be worried!
-snip-

When you find Links like this:
...That's when you Reaally need to worry.

This is terrifying!
http://www.cosplaya.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/link-as-a-guy-cosplay.jpg

I can say without a shadow of a doubt that that is not her link xD.

 

[Gunner_Guardian]

So.... I decided that not asking would be the smart, safe and generally best decision. For those of you who know me, this will come as little surprise. What will come as even less of a surprise is that I asked her anyway.

It's her. She started crying once I made it clear that I didn't mind, she got a bit better. She's still kinda bummed that I found out, but she thought it was adorable that I was so worried about bringing it up.

Good job man.

It all works out in the end I guess.

This has been quite the amusing thread I must say!

 

[ShakyFiend]

What an hilariously unfortunate coincidence, "accidentally" show it to her while doing something else on a laptop? Suggest you watch some porn together?

Got it, invite her round, be in the bathroom when she gets there, and leave it up on a "friends" laptop that had been "accidentally" left there.