So relationships...Why?

[creager91]

Hello fellow escapists. I was wondering what you guys could tell me about relationships and why they are so appealing to you or unappealing. As for myself I have become somewhat of a cynic in the past few years and I feel that relationships are just reasons to induce stress, worry, and jealousy also a colossal waste of money. Now granted I have been asked if I was a...pick up artist I think the term was?

Anywho the point is that I'll admit, ever since my ex left me I kind of became a bit of a player and thus a cynic but enough about me what do you guys think? and also if you feel the need to persuade me otherwise I do try to keep an open mind so fire away

 

[Aris Khandr]

Eventually, you'll meet a person who makes you truly happy. Someone who makes you feel like a part of you is missing when they're not around. Someone who makes you want to try things you've never considered before. That's why. When it's good, a relationship is like a puzzle. The pieces fit together, and the picture isn't whole otherwise.

 

[Paksenarrion]

I believe this song expresses it succinctly:

 

[theevilsanta]

Eventually, you'll meet a person who makes you truly happy. Someone who makes you feel like a part of you is missing when they're not around. Someone who makes you want to try things you've never considered before. That's why. When it's good, a relationship is like a puzzle. The pieces fit together, and the picture isn't whole otherwise.

Pretty much this. If you really care about someone you'll want to spend all your time and money on that person. If you aren't capable of feeling that way then yeah, relationships are a waste.

 

[Divine Miss Bee]

Eventually, you'll meet a person who makes you truly happy. Someone who makes you feel like a part of you is missing when they're not around. Someone who makes you want to try things you've never considered before. That's why. When it's good, a relationship is like a puzzle. The pieces fit together, and the picture isn't whole otherwise.

Pretty much this. If you really care about someone you'll want to spend all your time and money on that person. If you aren't capable of feeling that way then yeah, relationships are a waste.

oh, don't say "not capable." everyone has the capacity to be happy with another person. even if not everyone sees it as a necessity, everyone is capable-cynics especially. just you watch, the OP will find someone really special and be all sparkly. and then we can frolic in a meadow of happiness!

(can you tell i love my boyfriend/fiance very much?)

 

[rekabdarb]

Sex. Relationships are all about having a readily available source for sex.
Cynical? Maybe. But true.
Anyway I know I will never meet someone who I want to spend every single day with. That to me is the true killer of relationships. Successful relationships are built on both parties having time away from the other to be themselves.
... and sex.

AGREE

unfortunately... The more i'm with my gf the more i realize that the small stuff that i shouldn't care about is adding up to eventually become a raging ball of hatred

 

[Gildan Bladeborn]

I'm both single and celibate, with no plans or desire to change those aspects of my life, so it's pretty safe to say that for me the appeal of a relationship is pretty much nil - I like my life just fine without needlessly complicating it by pursuing emotional connections for no other reason than that it's somewhat expected that I should be doing that. For me being alone forever isn't some ominous fate I feel I have to avoid at all costs, I don't define myself through other people such that I feel incomplete on my own - I like being alone.

 

[Risingblade]

It beats being alone

 

[Kagim]

Hello fellow escapists. I was wondering what you guys could tell me about relationships and why they are so appealing to you or unappealing. As for myself I have become somewhat of a cynic in the past few years and I feel that relationships are just reasons to induce stress, worry, and jealousy also a colossal waste of money. Now granted I have been asked if I was a...pick up artist I think the term was?

Anywho the point is that I'll admit, ever since my ex left me I kind of became a bit of a player and thus a cynic but enough about me what do you guys think? and also if you feel the need to persuade me otherwise I do try to keep an open mind so fire away

I'm going to be brutally honest.

From what you described you had a very, very shitty relationship. While a monogamous relationship may not be right for you, don't let one bad experience turn you off from being with someone in a serious relationship.

What's best for you is what's best for you. However don't swear off a whole possibility just because you had a rough time.

To answer you questions, What's appealing? I have someone who loves me. Takes care of me when i am sick, looks forward to seeing me when i get home. Support me emotionally, and is the only one whom will actually take the time to listen to me.

The downside, sometimes i want to just headbutt her into a wall. However the good out ways the bad.

Now, if being single is your thing go for it. However never become a pick up artist. A pick up artist is a person who essentially plays a girls personal problems against themselves to lower there self esteem just enough to get them to sleep with them. It's manipulating and lowering a girls feeling of self worth to get them to sleep with you to gain your approval. It's disgusting.

You wanna be a wild free man and have fun meeting lotsa ladies go for it. Live the dream.

If you need to manipulate girls into thinking less of themselves to do it? Go die in a fire.

... Not saying you do however... Just.. don't walk that road.

 

[Ninjat_126]

Eventually, you'll meet a person who makes you truly happy. Someone who makes you feel like a part of you is missing when they're not around. Someone who makes you want to try things you've never considered before. That's why. When it's good, a relationship is like a puzzle. The pieces fit together, and the picture isn't whole otherwise.

Pretty much this. If you really care about someone you'll want to spend all your time and money on that person. If you aren't capable of feeling that way then yeah, relationships are a waste.

And unless that all happens, it's just a status symbol (high-school) or a window to sex (everywhere).

 

[theevilsanta]

Eventually, you'll meet a person who makes you truly happy. Someone who makes you feel like a part of you is missing when they're not around. Someone who makes you want to try things you've never considered before. That's why. When it's good, a relationship is like a puzzle. The pieces fit together, and the picture isn't whole otherwise.

Pretty much this. If you really care about someone you'll want to spend all your time and money on that person. If you aren't capable of feeling that way then yeah, relationships are a waste.

oh, don't say "not capable." everyone has the capacity to be happy with another person. even if not everyone sees it as a necessity, everyone is capable-cynics especially. just you watch, the OP will find someone really special and be all sparkly. and then we can frolic in a meadow of happiness!

(can you tell i love my boyfriend/fiance very much?)

Heh, project much? I know you're being facetious but have you read the posts about love that some Escapists make? I'd be frightened to let them bag my groceries much less form an emotional connection.

On a happier note - I usually just say significant other rather than girlfriend/fiance. Though in July I'll finally be able to say wife and be done with it.

 

[Custard_Angel]

If you think relationships are a waste, then they're wasted on you. You'd better have fun being alone, cos thats what you'll get.

Getting along with people is a sign of humanity.

Getting along with someone to an extent that you would gladly spend your time and money making their life happier is a sign of maturity.

 

[Eldarion]

/snip

It is just about impossible for me to describe to you the things involved in entering an intimate relationship. To enter a deeper level of trust and understanding with someone you care for, who cares for you back.

I mean, I for one find the simple act of getting close enough to another person to gain a deeper understanding of them that most people get is fascinating.

 

[Fiz_The_Toaster]

Since I've never been in a relationship I couldn't tell you a whole lot, other than what I've witnessed. I'm kind of a loner and I'm ok with it to be honest, but there are times I really wish I wasn't.

I guess I'm just jaded with the whole idea of finding that special someone or how ever you want to call it.

 

[MasterWhatever]

It's more fun then another lonely night.

 

[Divine Miss Bee]

Eventually, you'll meet a person who makes you truly happy. Someone who makes you feel like a part of you is missing when they're not around. Someone who makes you want to try things you've never considered before. That's why. When it's good, a relationship is like a puzzle. The pieces fit together, and the picture isn't whole otherwise.

Pretty much this. If you really care about someone you'll want to spend all your time and money on that person. If you aren't capable of feeling that way then yeah, relationships are a waste.

oh, don't say "not capable." everyone has the capacity to be happy with another person. even if not everyone sees it as a necessity, everyone is capable-cynics especially. just you watch, the OP will find someone really special and be all sparkly. and then we can frolic in a meadow of happiness!

(can you tell i love my boyfriend/fiance very much?)

Heh, project much? I know you're being facetious but have you read the posts about love that some Escapists make? I'd be frightened to let them bag my groceries much less form an emotional connection.

On a happier note - I usually just say significant other rather than girlfriend/fiance. Though in July I'll finally be able to say wife and be done with it.

...i wasn't being facetious. love creates sparkles, especially in cynics because they didn't think it could ever happen to them.

and congratulations!

 

[InsomniJack]

After struggling with it for a long while, I've come to realize that I can't really be in a relationship at this point in my life, because (a.) my current conditions are not satisfactory to support one, and (b.) I just can't handle the idea emotionally. I'm very much a cynic, but I also have those days where I think it would be nice to have someone to care for/care for me.

Not knocking the idea, but currently, I'm not looking for a relationship. I feel more secure by myself. Doesn't hurt as much, y'know.

 

[Kortney]

I believe this song expresses it succinctly:

Whilst I adore Sinatra (here is a review I wrote of one of his albums: http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.271778-Review-In-the-Wee-Small-Hours-1955-Frank-Sinatra ), no-one does that song better than the man it was written for, Mister Fred Astaire. The dance in Astaire's is an absolute masterpiece!


--

Anyways, on topic now, it's all about the one person who makes it all worth it. It's a bit of a gamble - but the cynics in life who sit there all alone are cowards. They are too scared to fall in love.

 

[creager91]

Hello fellow escapists. I was wondering what you guys could tell me about relationships and why they are so appealing to you or unappealing. As for myself I have become somewhat of a cynic in the past few years and I feel that relationships are just reasons to induce stress, worry, and jealousy also a colossal waste of money. Now granted I have been asked if I was a...pick up artist I think the term was?

Anywho the point is that I'll admit, ever since my ex left me I kind of became a bit of a player and thus a cynic but enough about me what do you guys think? and also if you feel the need to persuade me otherwise I do try to keep an open mind so fire away

I'm going to be brutally honest.

From what you described you had a very, very shitty relationship. While a monogamous relationship may not be right for you, don't let one bad experience turn you off from being with someone in a serious relationship.

What's best for you is what's best for you. However don't swear off a whole possibility just because you had a rough time.

To answer you questions, What's appealing? I have someone who loves me. Takes care of me when i am sick, looks forward to seeing me when i get home. Support me emotionally, and is the only one whom will actually take the time to listen to me.

The downside, sometimes i want to just headbutt her into a wall. However the good out ways the bad.

Now, if being single is your thing go for it. However never become a pick up artist. A pick up artist is a person who essentially plays a girls personal problems against themselves to lower there self esteem just enough to get them to sleep with them. It's manipulating and lowering a girls feeling of self worth to get them to sleep with you to gain your approval. It's disgusting.

You wanna be a wild free man and have fun meeting lotsa ladies go for it. Live the dream.

If you need to manipulate girls into thinking less of themselves to do it? Go die in a fire.

... Not saying you do however... Just.. don't walk that road.

Well now I know what a pick up artist is. I never do shit like that I always make it very clear to any girl that I talk to that if theyre looking for a relationship im not the guy for them and I completely understand theyre desire to find someone. They all know that I'm not likely to commit anytime soon and they all know that I'm talking to more girls.

Also I really dont remember too much of my past relationship. I;d say when we were together I was a very trusting non jealous typer person I would actually get turned on by her flirting with guys in front of me. Of course I was 17 or 16 at the time and now im 19 almost 20 but what really got to me was that she cheated and then proceeded to tell me I wasn't even worth her friendship etc etc. it was the aftermath that was horrible, and believe if I deserved any of it I'd tell you what I did but the worst part for me is that she still swears to this day that I was the nicest most fun guy she had ever been with.

I honestly have no idea how I would be in a relationship now tho. I think I'd probably be more jealous and suspicious. But most of my cynicism actually comes from observing people around me, once people move into the relationship stage it seems like the fighting almost triples in amount and problems just arrise from shit that is only a big deal because theyre in a relationship. Maybe a huge part of it is that my close friends are all really jealous types but idk