so someone is in your house

[ethaninja]

Grab my baseball bat. Make sure all my lights are shut off. Open my door slowly. Stand in the dark and wait for another noise to make sure it isn't my bro coming home drunk. Stand at the wall perpendicular to the main hallway ready.

Then I wouldn't know after that.

 

[Candidus]

The first priority is to become armed. A small, sharp knife is inflexible and easy to manipulate after puncturing the body, so go with that unless you've got access to a cleaver- which is good for those whose hands are unsteady. Avoid large knives.

The second priority is to secure the main entrance to the house- the door and living room windows- so that whomever is in the house cannot leave (skip this at your discretion). Having so locked down the house, I'd use my mobile to call the police. I would then call into the house that the police have been summoned and that the door is locked.

I would tell them that they can stay hidden and get caught, or take their chances tangling with me for the keys. Whether or not you take me seriously isn't very important, I'm not embarrassed to be honest: I'd hope that they would choose the latter out of desperation.

 

[Sarahcidal]

I keep a crowbar beside my bed... I would wait for whoever it was to come upstairs and then I'd Gordon Freeman his ass

 

[Guffe]

I'd probably shit myself and then go check what it is and most likely get clubbed down.

 

[Guffe]

I keep a crowbar beside my bed... I would wait for whoever it was to come upstairs and then I'd Gordon Freeman his ass

With this in the background

 

[8-Bit Grin]

I'd freeze up, listen hard, and wait for a second laugh.

If I heard it again, I'd probably just book it for the back door.

I know my house better then they do, I'm sure.

 

[ICanBreakTheseCuffs]

I shall hit him with a bombardment of FRED!

 

[meowchef]

As this has happened to me, and as I am an American... I got out my Beretta Px4 Storm .40, crept downstairs, found him, informed him that if he didn't immediately leave my home, I was going to shoot him... and he ran out the broken open front door to a waiting car... and they sped off. Called the police who stuck around for a few days, and have had no problems since... that was 3 years ago.

 

[CrystEarthPaw]

If this happened, seeing as how I live in a very small apartment, someone would be getting a meat cleaver to the face, no questions asked.

 

[NeuroticBabbler]

Wait at my bedroom door with a baseball bat. Just in case.

 

[DannibalG36]

It depends what the laugh sounds like. If it's a Joker-type laugh, I'm grabbing my taser. Otherwise, Imma turning on the lights and yelling: "What do you want?"

 

[Madara XIII]

Knife and a Mag light....

They'll either be bludgeoned or sliced for waking my ass up this late at night!!

Either way I ain't risking crap!!!

 

[PrimoThePro]

Well, I keep a knife beside my bed at all times. My hunting knife. A foot long beast. I meet the robber head on, but I tell him he has the option to leave without taking anything. I wouldn't call the cops unless there is more than 2.

 

[brucelee13245]

Id grab the 870 in the corner of my room, kick down my bedroom door and scream "THIS IS MY HOUSE B****!!!!" and proceed to aerate my walls.

 

[Dango]

Well if I don't recognize the laughter, then call the cops or sneak into my laundry room where my family keeps a large metal pipe for some reason...

 

[Sarahcidal]

I keep a crowbar beside my bed... I would wait for whoever it was to come upstairs and then I'd Gordon Freeman his ass

With this in the background

damn straight! haha i saw this a little while back and i've listened to its badassery several times since then

 

[Ruffythepirate]

I would take my airsoftgun and go all Rainbow Six (it's a speed-shooter tuned to about 400 feet per second, so it hurts like a motherf***er on short range).

 

[Berserker119]

Hide in my bed and hope they don't notice me. The only thing I have in my room to defend myself with is my Master Chief helmet.

 

[Odin311]

Call the police and leave them on the line with my wife, as I clear the house with a flashlight and a .45