So...unacceptable phobias?

[SenseOfTumour]

Just wondering, whats the opinion of someone who had a genuine irrational fear of say, gay people or black people?

I'm just wondering how it would be to say, be extremely uncomfortable and nervous in the same room as a black person, like an arachnophobe in a room with a spider.

Please be assured, I'm not trying to defend racism, homophobia , or any kind of discrimination. I'm just interested if people would accept a difference between hating people because of ignorance, and the kind of built in phobias that people just have.

For me, I don't like to admit it, but I'm extremely creeped out by anyone who's visibly mentally ill, which makes me out to be an unfeeling bastard when faced with anyone with say, Down's Syndrome or someone in Stephen Hawking's situation, unmoving in a wheelchair.

I'm not rude to anyone, but if at all possible I avoid the situations or escape as soon as I can. I guess the difference between this and say racism, is I don't want the target of my phobia held back, or eliminated completely from the planet or anything extreme, I'm just not good being in close proximity. (I'm even feeling a little guilty just saying 'them' and typing any of this.

This would be the first time I've ever admitted this, but it seems to be an open minded place, and I don't mind being told that I'm evil as I tend to feel that way anyway.

I guess partly what inspired me to start a topic was in the gay marriages thread, some of the people (maybe jokingly) were saying they find gays really spooky. I know you can't just say 'he's gay' just by looking at someone, but I guess they mean extremely camp men are hard to be around for them, makes them uncomfortable, that they'd feel like they wanted to run if dropped into a gay nightclub. I'm cool with that, and all nations, but I don't like to be in the same room as the people I've discussed above. ( Do you know how hard it is to discuss these things without using words that make you sound like a child of Satan?)

I wonder if perhaps I fear that they are unpredictable, not knowing everything about every form of mental illness. (No I don't believe they're all a moment away from trying to kill me).

Well that was long, but I'm interested to see any opinions or responses. Am I bad, even tho I don't feel I'm choosing to react like this, any more than someone who fears elevators uses the stairs, and are people who genuinely fear, say, midgets or oriental people or black people, bad, or should accusations of discrimination be kept for those choosing to discriminate?

 

[The Kind Cannibal]

I'm a firm believer in the phrase "To each his own".
You happen to have a irrational fear? So be it, as long as it doesn't effect me I'm perfectly happy. I myself have an phobia of Lightning/Thunder. I love the rain but as soon as it turns ugly I run to my stereo, turn it ungodly high and go "NANANANNANNANANA! YOU DON'T EXIST!"

I don't believe this makes me a bad person, so anybody else's irrational fears shouldn't either.

 

[Mr.Pandah]

Well, I feel sort of the same way as you about the mentally ill/handicapped. Its just so different. I'm not as creeped out as you, however, I do share your feelings to a certain degree. I'm much more polite and kind towards them just because I don't want to upset them in any way or something like that. But oh well, we all deal with it in our own ways.

 

[The Iron Ninja]

My brother is one of said mentally ill/handicapped types of people, so a fear of him and others like him would hinder alot of my everyday activities. And I'm not sure if you would consider this irrational or not, but I have a huge fear of really big stick insects, I'm fine with pretty much any other insect, and even the smaller stick insects, but the big ones (about yea big *inticates with hands of avatar*) really bug me (no pun intended, seriously don't laugh, don't even roll your eyes)

 

[Easykill]

I don't really know if it's possible to be actually afraid of a whole group of people without having some kind of prejudice to them. In the cases you talk about I would think you're only really uncomfortable, and maybe you fear making an ass of yourself somehow in front of them. Uncomfortable is fine though I think, although far from the optimum. I myself would probably be unable to stop myself from feeling awkward for some time around my friends if I found out one of them was gay, even though I know it's wrong.

 

[Mr.Pandah]

Well, supposedly one of my friends is gay, he didn't come out to me but he told another friend that he thinks he might be. I thought it would be weird, but I never really thought about it and its fine with me.

 

[SenseOfTumour]

Yeah, I'm not outwardly rude to them, (Again even saying 'them' feels like I'm being rude), but if I can avoid the situation or get out of there quickly, I'll do it, I had understanding friends when I worked in the music store, and one day per week, a minibus from the local 'special' college would arrive, and they'd nicely swap places so I didn't have to deal with it, and in exchange, I'd deal with a blind man who came in who was sooo annoying.

There's a secondary point, in fact, the blind customer we had, was so attention seeking, and would regularly take up like half an hour in a visit, he'd be walking THRU queues of customers going 'oh sorry, I'm blind', basically using his disability to get what he wanted.
Sure part of me's thinking, hey he deserves some breaks, but we had many blind customers, we were near a local blind place, and he was the only one 'using' it, others we were happy to see, could chat with, talk about music etc.

Maybe that's part of my problem, is its compounded by the guilt of knowing I'm not supposed to treat the mentally ill any different from a 'normal' person, despite the obvious evidence that they are different.

Thanks especially to Mr Pandah for admitting it, and like I say, I'm not rude to them, just try to limit my exposure as much as possible, quite possibly partly because I don't want them to sense my feelings, too. I don't hate them, and I don't want to make them feel bad.

 

[Danny Ocean]

This was a stand up routine, I think. "Homophobia is the least tolerated phobia there is. If you had a friend who said they were afraid of closed spaces, you wouldn't say "Oh, you narrow minded prick. Obviously, you haven't spent enought time with Mr. Cupboard." Homphobic people might be genuinly afraid of homosexuals. Someone might have burst out of their closet at a young age."

Ooh that's good.

*cookie*

 

[Gitsnik]

I've a fear of wood-fire-pokers. I can't be in the same room as one of them without getting twitchy and agitated - which leads to aggression.

I also can't let anyone near my feet.

I'm really uncomfortable around homosexuals and "darker" people. Apparently I've always been this way so I'm not entirely sure it's racism or not - my parents both recall (different) stories where as a child (i.e. < 2 years old) I would get nervous around both types of people.

But since I've turned into a "cold heartless, A+ bastard" people just write most of that off as racism.

 

[Spleeni]

This was a stand up routine, I think. "Homophobia is the least tolerated phobia there is. If you had a friend who said they were afraid of closed spaces, you wouldn't say "Oh, you narrow minded prick. Obviously, you haven't spent enought time with Mr. Cupboard." Homphobic people might be genuinly afraid of homosexuals. Someone might have burst out of their closet at a young age."

XD
Someone give that man a bag of cocaine and hooker.


I have the same irrational 'dislike' of

anyone who's visibly mentally ill

But! Mine was NOURISHED. I have ADD (and Asthma to boot), so I've been stuck with a foot in the special class for my entire school career. I've seen waaaay too many people drooling for my tastes. And quite frankly, I got really sick of it, really fast.

 

[Khedive Rex]

Theres such a thing as xenophobia which is a fear of people from other places. I suppose it might be possible to develop a phobia of people from a specific place (identified through inherited traits associated with said location. Which I suppose is just a nice way of saying you could have a fear of people who looked a certain way).

I honestly don't know how I would react to it. I don't have any of this, I find I can get along with pretty much anyone. If I met someone however who had a legitamet fear of certain people (not just an intolerance of) I would probably try to help them conquere their fear (like I do with most phobias) or, barring that, just leave them to their own business.

 

[Pohlkat]

I'm fine around gay people, they tend to be interesting. But I share your sentiments with the mentally ill, I don't think I could handle a job in special needs. In my opinion, in this situation, actively trying not to hurt anyone's feelings makes up for anything otherwise. If you said something nasty to them, spat at them, then told them to go away, then sure I'd call you evil.

 

[DarkDoopliss]

I don't hate the mentally ill i just feel too bad for them. It's not their falt they were born with it. We are all lucky hat we weren't born with it.

 

[mshcherbatskaya]

I guess the question is, if you have this phobia, are you OK with it? It would probably be useful to distinguish between people who have neurological disorders whose abilities to comprehend the world around them is unimpaired (Steven Hawking), people who have developmental disabilities (like Down's Syndrome), and people who have psychiatric disorders like schizophrenia (what most people would consider "crazy".) I have bipolar, by the way, which puts me in the psychiatric category--BOO!

One theory says that phobias of different kinds of people are projections of things you fear in yourself, or things you fear you might be or become. So, by this theory, perhaps your fear is a reflection of your anxiety about losing your mental capacities or becoming helpless.

Another theory is more social than psychological. It says that you (and everyone else) were taught that somehow people with these sorts of disorders and handicaps are somehow less than human, that they are strange and you were told to stay away from strange people when you were growing up, or that they are disgusting in some way, with their diapers and their drooling and the unwashed homeless crazy on the corner.

Either way, it's something that can probably be addressed by focusing on the humanity of the individual person you are dealing with.

I think that works with a lot of -isms. I grew up in an area that had almost no black people in it, and so when I moved somewhere else, some how I had an "eek! stranger!" reaction to black people in general. They were categorically strangers and I feared them as such. It really took a long time to deal with it, and I'm still afraid that I sometimes offend by acting like the ignorant white girl I still am. So, now that I mostly have the hang of seeing their humanity rather than being startled by their color, I need to get the hang of accepting my own humanity and not feeling awkward about my color. I've been working on it 20 years. Give me another 20 and maybe I'll have it down.

 

[Altorin]

Fear is the path to the Dark Side

Fear leads to Anger
Anger leads to Hate
Hate leads to Suffering

in all seriousness, fearing black people, or fearing the mentally handicapped is a slippery slope. Get to know them, you'll find they're not scary, and then you'll be back off the dark path.

 

[Turbine2k5]

One theory says that phobias of different kinds of people are projections of things you fear in yourself, or things you fear you might be or become. So, by this theory, perhaps your fear is a reflection of your anxiety about losing your mental capacities or becoming helpless.

You know, there's a crazy theory behind that. It's said (I've heard it from some people like me) that the biggest homophobes tend to become the ones that come out themselves. I used to be one, and then I found out one of my newer friends in high school was gay, and I had an emotional breakdown, went to the counselor's office, etc. A few weeks later, I was questioning whether or not I had an interest in men. Now a days, I'm comfortable around them, only b/c I'm bisexual.

The point I'm trying to make is that sometimes phobias are complete misunderstandings in the things we fear. I, weirdly enough, have a fear of cat boxes. Don't mind cats, but can't stand being anywhere close to where they go do their business.

 

[LadyZephyr]

I have apiphobia and I have genuine reasons of being terrified. I don't think there is such thing as an irrational fear. Maybe an irrational amount of fear. But deep down, you have reasons for the fear. That's why homophobia isn't acceptable. It's bred from the idea that gay people are something worth fearing, which I find insulting.

Also, homophobia is scientifically linked to homosexual arousal [http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/sites/entrez?cmd=Retrieve&db=PubMed&list_uids=8772014&dopt=Citation]. So, there's that.

 

[rottenbutter]

I don't really feel uncomfortable with any type person.

The only things I fear are physical pain and awkward situations.