So what do we say about these "aggressive" approaches toward women?

[Epic Bear Man]

I've never really gotten the concept of trying to bone as many women as possible or making it a sport. To each their own, I guess. As for me, I've always just segregated sex towards "friends with benefits" or committed relationships, depending on if I was seeing someone or not.

But nonetheless, I don't see anything wrong with it either. I'm sure most of the women know it's just going to be meaningless sex anyways, and while "negging" is a real tactic used by some pick-up "artists", I'm pretty certain most are smart enough to use these tactics in certain locations.
You wouldn't go and try negging a girl in a library, but in a club? Yeah, that makes more sense.

Whether or not the sex is intimate or just for fun, it's meant to be behind closed doors. The only thing I actually find annoying about these guys is the fact that they need to broadcast it to the world, not that they're intentionally just trying to screw as many women as possible.
Confidence is great, arrogance is not.

 

[BiscuitTrouser]

With strawman *TM argument has never been so easy! Just make up an opinion for your adversary and take that to pieces! You don't even have to listen to the other side talk, giving you more free time to think about how much of a great person you are.

I'm not a pick up artist at all, however I have seen one or two of Tyler's videos (the ranga who introduces Julian). All his videos do is talk about being confident, meditating, being present in the moment and general self-help crap which can be useful to some people some of the time. They talk about being "in the zone" and just going in, talking to everyone around you and having the kind of presence that attracts people.

If you want a summary it's be a more open minded, mature and passionate version of yourself. It is nothing to do with secret tricks that manipulate emotionally vulnerable people into having sex with you. Now I'm not sure I agree with what he says, a lot of it is pseudo-scientific and unverifiable. However it's certainly an interesting opinion to have and it's one that you completely missed because you think a webcomic written by a computer science guy can be relevant to all situations in life.

Well yeah i made a broad generalization. Ill concede that on the VERY mild edge of the whole "Picking up chicks" tactics thing there is some sensible stuff. Being calm, friendly and outgoing to talk to people at which point you become YOU and share your personality to attract people. I cant take issue with that because its what i do. The comic clearly mocks people who think negging is ok. Or who think some sort of dirty tactic is a valid way to win people over. This is who i am attacking. If you view being a PUA as someone who just does everything to appear attractive like smiling a lot and acting friendly in order to put your personality out there for people to actually fall for this comic is definitely NOT aimed at you.

Its clearly attacking people who neg. If you neg youre part of the PUA group that is slightly despicable. If you dont and limit yourself to just trying to be more extroverted i dont have an issue with you.

Wow now who is straw manning.

"you think a webcomic written by a computer science guy can be relevant to all situations in life"

Uhuh. Telling me my own opinion to then mock said opinion without me saying anything about it at all? Slightly hypocritical no? The comic clearly is only mocking those who neg. What i didnt do was say "YOU HOLD OPINION X. OPINION X IS DISGUSTING" i said "PEOPLE WHO HOLD OPINION X ARE DISGUSTING" the former of which is exactly what you did, slightly ironically, with your last sentence. I didnt assign anything to you i just called out a bullshit tactic that you may or may not use but is appropriate to the topic at hand because negging is a recognised strategy and for me summarises everything wrong with PUA and the aggressive approaches toward women, i didnt say nothing can be right about them. You assigned random shit to me. THATS a strawman

 

[Happiness Assassin]

These guys seem like typical hipster douchebags (or are just actin like them). They are belittling these girls in a more ironic sense and they explain simplistic ideas in overly elaborate metaphors. For some reason, guys like this piss me off.

 

[Lil devils x_v1legacy]

These kind of guys are the reason it is not safe for women to go out, and they should be incarcerated for touching women in an inappropriate manner without having their consent first. There are so many of them that think they have a right to touch you little lone kiss you without your permission, and that in itself is an ASSAULT. Many of the women said NO in just that clip, How many did they cut out from their clips that were really pissed and upset about such an assault? I have fought off many of these guys who think it okay to grab, touch or give unwanted affection without permission it is really scary how many of them there really are. Often I hear men complain about women being overly rude by saying things such as "get lost loser" when a man approaches them, it is because of guys like this that women are being forced to, to make guys like this back off and to reduce them being targeted for assault. Many of these guys don't stop, even when you do fight back, they think it is cute or sexy that you are "fiesty" and become even more aggressive, like it is just a game, when you are seriously trying to get them away from you. You have to hurt them, get them off balance and push them back and not stop pushing until you can put a barrier between you and him in order to get them to stop and it is quite terrifying. How anyone can find this acceptable is beyond me. It matters not if some of the women welcomed this behavior, no one has the right to force kiss anyone, exposing them to their germs and affection without first having consent. These guys should be in jail.

 

[Lieju]

There's nothing wrong with having one-night stands and casual encounters, but only as long as you're not deceiving or coercing anyone.

And of course outright sexual harassment is despicable.
Take it from me, grabbing a woman's ass in the middle of the street is NOT the way to make friends. (I've been on the receiving end of that several times. )

But there are women who know what these guys are about, and who just want sex too, so maybe just tell women you're looking for sex and nothing else and you get the same results without having to deceive anyone?

But I do find the idea of competing on how much you get sex dumb. But it's only misogynistic if there's the doublestandard for men and women who have a lot of sex.

And also a lot of ideas and language associated with this IS misogynistic.
Like talking about 'inherent female insecrities'. Yeah, men aren't insecure at all, and the same tactics totally would not work for them. Cause, you know, men and women are like totally different species...

 

[KingsGambit_v1legacy]

Does anyone understand what is happening in this thread?

 

[Legion]

Does anyone understand what is happening in this thread?

Lot's and lot's of stereotyping and generalisations, as is common in all threads about genders.

 

[spartan231490]

This type of behavior doesn't demean women. It demeans people. It reduces us to beings that want nothing but gratification from their interactions with others. Honestly, this behavior is more demeaning to men than women. At least the women are being manipulated and only passively participating. The men have no such excuses, they actively seek to manipulate others(I think we can all agree that isn't right) just for sexual gratification. They are willing to subvert the will of others and their own morality just for sex.

And the game is fucking stupid. Why can't people be honest with each other, that's not so hard is it?

 

[bartholen_v1legacy]

I had no idea this PUA thing even existed until I read the OP's post. What to say? Ehhh, I can't judge this as harshly as some might. It's just one lifestyle I've never practiced or had any major interaction with, so I can't say much. Of course it's an icky one, manipulating people and setting one's personal gratification as top priority, but so might sitting on a computer all day playing video games seem for some people. I felt slightly uncomfortable during that video. The way that guy just kept taking physical contact with those women made me think "unintended rape inbound".

 

[knight steel]

I'm 18 and have never had a girlfriends and never had a real kiss no matter how hard I try I don't know if it me or them and I don't care I've excepted that I'm not destined to find a partner..... maybe I should just curl up in a ball and die

 

[Luca72]

That escalated pretty quickly. I've listened to RSD stuff. I find it interesting in a sociological context - some of those things DO kind of work, and you can recognize other guys using those techniques and getting "success" (if you define success as simply being allowed to put your dick in something). I've even tried a few of the techniques just out of curiosity, and sure enough, they tend to get a positive response out of women. Felt pretty icky though.

I read about one guy who was a self-described nerd, devoted his life to learning this stuff, and wrote about how he started wearing flashy clothes that he thought were dumb and acting in ways he didn't want to, but noted that all these things worked towards getting girls. Which leads me to my only point about all this - are you willing to change who you are just so you can get laid? When you "win", is it even you that the girl is sleeping with? Our culture is so addicted to the idea of sex being the optimal scenario that we don't seem to think about what we're giving up for it. I've started relationships based on nothing but attraction, and they never last. You can be miserable even while having regular sex.

Not saying there's anything wrong with a one-night stand though. It's just that I don't understand people that are willing to throw their personalities under the bus to do it. Strikes me as being pussy-whipped by the mere promise of pussy.

 

[Epic Bear Man]

I'm 18 and have never had a girlfriends and never had a real kiss no matter how hard I try I don't know if it me or them and I don't care I've excepted that I'm not destined to find a partner..... maybe I should just curl up in a ball and die

Or, you know, realize you're still technically young and that you still have plenty of time to find someone that'll make you feel special.

I'm about to be 20, not much older than you, but I will tell you that once you get older, it becomes much easier. While I've had several girlfriends in my years of high school, it was a hell of a lot easier to find people who'd date you in college (I'm assuming you're still in high school, but correct me if I'm wrong). During high school it's more of a rebellion stage and somewhat of popularity, whereas once college rolls around it's all about networking; finding people who'll help you out later in life once you get a degree(s). It's also where anyone who was repressed by their parents during high school has more freedom, and thus they're seeking more experimentation.

I'm not telling you to take the tips from these "pick-up artists" in the video, but definitely make sure you present yourself as at least slightly confident. Make the initial response, crack some jokes with a girl you're attracted to, and see how she responds. Try getting to know her a bit as well if you're worried she might already be taken and you don't want to embarass yourself.

tl;dr Keep your chin up, 'cause you're still young. You'll find someone who'll make you feel special. Whether that girl/boy/etc. is just a small fling or becomes your spouse is up to you and them to decide, but nonetheless at least you'll have had fun even if things don't work out in the long term. =P