What makes us Americans fat? I know what makes us wide.
A number of things are involved in how wide someones going to grow. But, wait -- what?!
You want to change this? As in, get even smaller? ...This guy.
You want to lose weight? Pfft. Ya' crazy! Looka' what we got for YOU!
IN STOCK: Haagen-Dais, milkshakes, birthday cakes, grease, salt, desserts, and colored candies. Wendys, free samples at the mall, Checkers, Ben's Chili Bowl, mayonnaise, hot dogs --there all...just so good for you. See that sticky yellow substance at the bottom of that large popcorn you found on the floor in the theater? Butter, I'm telling you -- is Gold.
OUT OF STOCK: Self-control.
Ben & Jerry's could use your help.
Our bellies are going to grow. Full of that, delicious, clogging, saturated, high-fructose yum; Joy.
Don't. Stop. Eating. Little children will stop kicking you.
F'k those bikes! Get a high metabolism! If you don't have one; steal it.