So what makes a guy a dickhead?

[generals3]

well it appears i misinterpreted what you were saying then, in the original post i responded to it came off as if you felt - in a way - nice guys were kinda entitled to sex, because we all feel entitled. but you've clarified this, so my apologies xD

as for whether it is bad judgement or dickheadedness, i suppose it would depend on their attitude towards it, for example
person A: "i was really nice to her, but she only saw us as friends so nothings gonna go on there. kinda sucks, but it happens"
person B: "i can't believe i spent so much time listening to her whine about her stupid problems, and she wouldn't even fuck me?! it's bullshit"
they could have put in the same amount of investment, but because of their attitudes about it person A i would say is the misguided one, whereas person B is a dick. a misguided dick, but the dick quality is still the quality most easily recognised.

as for safe ROI for sex being a prostitute, definitely agreeing there. it's only the form of investment that changes, from time/effort to money (which arguably is made from your own time and effort anyway, but that's getting a bit too off-topic). regardless, the return is at least guaranteed

No problem, misunderstandings happen. But i'd say, based on the examples you provided, the problem is not so much entitlement but rather how they cope with their disappointment. Person B clearly acts like a spoiled child who cannot handle not getting what he wants. So yeah i kind of agree that someone acting in such a manner is kind of dick.

 

[DaWaffledude]

Someone who willingly and knowingly acts in a manner they themselves consider immoral.

Everyone else is just misinformed.

 

[JoJo]

Acting like a dickhead? Guess I should clarify further. Anyone who constantly puts other people down, shits on ideas whilst not offering any themselves, acts entitled to things, is hypocritical... those are the hallmarks of the dickhead in my mind. They can come open or passive-aggressive, either just as bad as each other.

 

[SanguiniusMagnificum]

Well, a male person whose head is shaped like a penis can be considered a dickhead.

Other then that, yeah, the "But I'm such a nice guy wah wah wah" stereotype. Anyone who thinks that women are like slot machines were you insert niceness-coins and receive sex and romantic affection in return can be considered a dickhead.

Just my two cents on it.

 

[generals3]

Well, a male person whose head is shaped like a penis can be considered a dickhead.

Other then that, yeah, the "But I'm such a nice guy wah wah wah" stereotype. Anyone who thinks that women are like slot machines were you insert niceness-coins and receive sex and romantic affection in return can be considered a dickhead.

Just my two cents on it.

And what if i told you almost everyone treats almost everyone like slot machines? How would you feel if a friend never did anything for you despite you doing stuff for him? Wouldn't you expect those "niceness-coins" you insert in him will give something in return? Don't you also expect that if you behave well and treat people with respect others will as well?

This is also why people who expect nothing from society tend to act like bitter pricks. Since they expect no return from the slot machine they don't put any coins in it.

 

[Barbas]

Anyone who only speaks to berate or belittle, only ever moves to steal, aggravate or degrade and is only ever concerned with their own well-being, never that of anyone else, using and discarding people as objects purely to further their own ends.

There are plenty of words under the sun for such a person, but I imagine "dickhead" will do for most.

 

[Phasmal]

I was wondering if this was gonna be a niceguy thing.

Though, I'm far more interested in why some guys think all other guys are dickheads.
I've seen many guys dismissed as dickheads by other guys for very little.
I think it's just the same as that whole `I'm not like other girls` phase the ladies tend to go through. It's just a lack of maturity, I think.

As for what makes someone a dickhead- generally being a shitty human.
Lacking empathy, enjoying other's suffering, being bigheaded.
All that kind of stuff.

 

[Pink Gregory]

I've seen many guys dismissed as dickheads by other guys for very little.

Not in a male/female relationship context as the thread seems to be; I work with people to whom a momentary lapse in judgement means a long-standing grudge has been created.

I 'unno, personally only rarely do I dismiss people in such a way, at least not as much as I used to, but admittedly the first reaction usually goes that way, it's just a matter of catching it before it starts to inform all further opinions. If you're a more impulsive person I suppose it can stick.

Maybe it's a competitive thing, I don't know.

 

[Varrdy]

Anyone who doesn't get his / her round in makes him / her a dickhead in my book.

 

[Varrdy]

Also, being nice to someone because that's just the way you doesn't get you any further than people who just act nice to get into someone else's pants.

Trust me, I know.

 

[Headsprouter]

A bad first impression can often be the cause...like if someone shoved me out of the way first time I came across him I'd think he was a bit of a douche. But who knows, he may have been a rush...
An ego doesn't help. Being generally loud and invasive can make me dislike a person. Attention-seeking behaviour. Thoughtlessness.

Just generally, a lack of regard for other human beings, being insensitive, can make someone look like a dick, especially if that's all you've ever known of the person. First impressions are very difficult to change. Scumbag Steve can easily be Misunderstood Mitch.

 

[Ieyke]

Spoiler: This

Alright I don't get the first bit of the post. What's wrong with being a nice guy? Did I miss the memo? Are nice guys now de facto cheaters?

It has to do with a really retarded idea a lot of people have had lately, where they're too incompetent to differentiate between jerks and nice guys.

 

[SKBPinkie]

What kind of topic is this? You may have as well asked us "guys, what do you think counts as "bad"?"

It's just a word people use to describe someone they don't like. It doesn't have a universal meaning. End of.

And the people trying to change this into one of those "nice guy" topics, just...stop. Just fuckin' stop.

 

[suitepee7]

the return on investment principle only works when you invest something. being regular non-douchey person shouldn't be an investment, it should just be the norm. if you see it as an investment then it implies that you know you're an ass most of the time, but when you want sex you'll 'make the effort' to be a decent person for a change.

I don't know about you, but my dating relationships usually involve a significantly larger investment of time and energy than just being polite to my co-workers and so on does.

I don't want to tell you how to live your life, but if you're spending as little effort on your date as on the random people in the cubicles you pass on the way to the WC you may be doing it wrong.

dating =/= being a nice guy. i never mentioned dating a person and expecting sex compared to being a nice guy and expecting sex

 

[ClockworkPenguin]

Well, a male person whose head is shaped like a penis can be considered a dickhead.

Other then that, yeah, the "But I'm such a nice guy wah wah wah" stereotype. Anyone who thinks that women are like slot machines were you insert niceness-coins and receive sex and romantic affection in return can be considered a dickhead.

Just my two cents on it.

And what if i told you almost everyone treats almost everyone like slot machines? How would you feel if a friend never did anything for you despite you doing stuff for him? Wouldn't you expect those "niceness-coins" you insert in him will give something in return? Don't you also expect that if you behave well and treat people with respect others will as well?

This is also why people who expect nothing from society tend to act like bitter pricks. Since they expect no return from the slot machine they don't put any coins in it.

A persons willingness to help you is an indicator of how much they value their relationship with you, and by extension how much they value you. When a friend refuses to help without a good reason it is hurtful because they show that they don't value you as much as you thought they did. Not because they have failed to repay a debt of favours.

For example, I have done more for some friends than I have for others. Yet I would expect, or hope for, the same willingness to do me a favour from each of them.

Doing nice things for people is one way of building that relationship. However, most people do it because they value the relationship, not because they want to get the 'implied favours' that they can squeeze out of said relationship.

Treating people as nothing more than slot machines is one of the symptoms of being a psychopath.

 

[generals3]

A persons willingness to help you is an indicator of how much they value their relationship with you, and by extension how much they value you. When a friend refuses to help without a good reason it is hurtful because they show that they don't value you as much as you thought they did. Not because they have failed to repay a debt of favours.

For example, I have done more for some friends than I have for others. Yet I would expect, or hope for, the same willingness to do me a favour from each of them.

Doing nice things for people is one way of building that relationship. However, most people do it because they value the relationship, not because they want to get the 'implied favours' that they can squeeze out of said relationship.

Treating people as nothing more than slot machines is one of the symptoms of being a psychopath.

Euhm, what's the point of a relationship if you get nothing out of it? I'm sorry but all our relationships are based on what we can get out of them. People don't engage in relationships, or anything for that matter, when there is nothing to expect. Why does it matter whether or not someone "cares" about you? Because if he/she does than he/she will be there for you and do things for you when needed/wanted.

And it's not a symptom of being a psychopath at all. That's a real bad attempt at armchair psychology.

 

[ClockworkPenguin]

A persons willingness to help you is an indicator of how much they value their relationship with you, and by extension how much they value you. When a friend refuses to help without a good reason it is hurtful because they show that they don't value you as much as you thought they did. Not because they have failed to repay a debt of favours.

For example, I have done more for some friends than I have for others. Yet I would expect, or hope for, the same willingness to do me a favour from each of them.

Doing nice things for people is one way of building that relationship. However, most people do it because they value the relationship, not because they want to get the 'implied favours' that they can squeeze out of said relationship.

Treating people as nothing more than slot machines is one of the symptoms of being a psychopath.

Euhm, what's the point of a relationship if you get nothing out of it? I'm sorry but all our relationships are based on what we can get out of them. People don't engage in relationships, or anything for that matter, when there is nothing to expect. Why does it matter whether or not someone "cares" about you? Because if he/she does than he/she will be there for you and do things for you when needed/wanted.

And it's not a symptom of being a psychopath at all. That's a real bad attempt at armchair psychology.

Well yes, I'm not a psychologist, but the channel 4 documentary about a month ago did in fact list that as a characteristic of psychopathy.

Also, no, that's not what motivates most people in relationships. For non superficial relationships, I care about their well being enough that the improvement they get from being helped is a reward in itself.

Parents don't put up with offsprings shit, and expend vast time effort and resources helping them just so that someone will visit them in their old age. They might hope that their kids will, but that's not why they do it. They do it because they care about their children.

People want others to care about them because feeling that you're not cared about is one of the most lonely, depressing, wretched states of being a human can be in.

You might argue that we have those instincts because they gain us stuff and make it easier to mooch off people, if you want to engage in armchair evo psych on a level far worse than my last posts armchair psychiatry, but the fact is that on a conscious level, people do things for each other for its own sake, not for tangible reward.

 

[Someone Depressing]

The word "dickhead" has a meaning that bases itself on culture. In Brittania, land of that old fatass who hasn't died yet, God bless the Queen, yadeyadeyade, dickhead is a not-so-commonly used work, but people who use it at all use it all the time. It just means "jerk", except it doesn't attach the other meaning of, "argh, you did this trivial thing, I'll kill you but I'm gonna calm down really soon and forget about it", which the word usually carries.

...But Ithink anyone who tried to rape someone or use them for sex, of either gender, of any race, or of any favourite flavor of Barr soda, is a huge dickhead.

 

[KingsGambit_v1legacy]

I imagine a person would qualify if they begin speaking with the phrase "I'm not a racist, but..."