So what's the Social consensus on a guy giving a girl his number?

[Lufia Erim]

There is this cashier i'm kind of interested in from a store i go to quite often. she recognizes me as a usual client, and we have chatted a bit . But because she is a cashier, well i don't have a whole lot of time to chat her up. I have been gathering up the courage to ask her out, however i was wondering if i should ask for her number or give her mine.

USually i hear about guys asking girls for their number, and rarely giving it out . So i'm just curious if that is a social no-no. I was thinking that the next time i see her, i'll chat her up a bit, and offer her my number, that way , i wouldn't really put her on the spot and worst case scenario she'll politely accept my number, to not be rude, and not text me, or best case scenerio she does text me.

TL;DR: Basically i want to know if i would be making a social faux pas by offering my number to a person i am interested in, instead of asking for theirs.

 

[Thaluikhain]

I'd say no, but then again, I've no idea where you live and what things are like there.

Some time last year, a woman asked me about something similar, about a guy that didn't ask her out, so she had to ask him out, and then she soon dumped him because she was terribly offended as a woman because of it all.

 

[Silentpony_v1legacy]

It my experience, if someone wants your number they'll ask for it. Not to be a buzz kill, but if she hasn't asked for it she probably doesn't want it.
I'd just risk it and ask for hers.

 

[Johnny Novgorod]

To be honest I wouldn't try to date anybody from a local shop. Suppose she turns me down horribly - what am I supposed to do, keep shopping there like nothing happened? Fuck no.

 

[Johnny Novgorod]

To be honest I wouldn't try to date anybody from a local shop. Suppose she turns me down horribly - what am I supposed to do, keep shopping there like nothing happened? Fuck no.

I would say walk it off. People find confidence attractive.

Rejection happens do you hang your head and walk away in shame? Or accept not everyone in the world will like you and move on?

Shame, definitely walk in shame.

 

[Fox12]

It my experience, if someone wants your number they'll ask for it. Not to be a buzz kill, but if she hasn't asked for it she probably doesn't want it.

Or maybe she doesn't want to ask out a customer while she's at work? That strikes me as a no no.

No way to know unless you try, I'd just ask her for her number and see what happens. Worst case scenario she says no.

 

[M0rp43vs]

To be honest I wouldn't try to date anybody from a local shop. Suppose she turns me down horribly - what am I supposed to do, keep shopping there like nothing happened? Fuck no.

Turn up at the counter with loads of condoms. Try to hint about ALL THE SEX YOU ARE HAVING, MAN BURNING THROUGH ALL THESE CONDOMS IN SUCH A SHORT TIME IS KILLING MY WALLET. And by hint I mean, loudly exclaim to no one in particular.

Well that or man up and walk up to her counter, avoid all eye contact while she rings up your things, then when she tells you how much, throw your money at her and slink away while she is distracted trying to pick the notes up.

OT: I say ask her first. That way, she can choose whether or not she gives it and won't feel like you forced something on her. Pro-tip though; You can ask her to message or miss call you if she says yes to avoid her "making a mistake giving her number". That way, you'll be giving her your number but it'll seem like you aare asking for hers, then you get the best of both worlds.

 

[DementedSheep]

Don't you usually exchange numbers if you want to talk? Asking for their number but not giving yours kinda reeks of "I'm getting your number just in case I decide I ever want to talk to you later and want to be in total control of if/when that happens" to me which sucks. If you weren't going to exchange giving yours makes more sense if you are the one instigating and don't want put pressure on someone.

It my experience, if someone wants your number they'll ask for it. Not to be a buzz kill, but if she hasn't asked for it she probably doesn't want it.
I'd just risk it and ask for hers.

Not necessarily, do you always ask someone number if you want it or are you shy? because girls get the same way and many girls feel like they are "suppose to" wait for the guy to make a move and that instigating anything themselves makes them seem clingy or desperate (which I think is stupid and unfair to guys but never-mind that). They also might not have really wanted your number per say but if you offer it they might decide that yeah they do want to talk to you more often.

 

[VanQ]

I'd say no, but then again, I've no idea where you live and what things are like there.

Some time last year, a woman asked me about something similar, about a guy that didn't ask her out, so she had to ask him out, and then she soon dumped him because she was terribly offended as a woman because of it all.

Something similar happened to me. Except a girl I was friends with completely cut me out and stopped hanging out/texting back. Had to ask a mutual friend what I did wrong. Turns out she was deeply offended that I hadn't asked her out. To this day I don't know if it's because she wanted to go out with me or she just 'expected' it.

 

[Colour Scientist]

Whatever about giving her your number, to me, trying to give someone your number and chat them up while they're at work is a big no go, especially if they work in retail.

Being friendly and chatty is your job in retail, having someone come on to you while your trying to do that job can make you feel uncomfortable and makes you think that you might be sending the wrong message to people.

It also puts you in the awkward position of not knowing how to react because you're worried about causing a customer offence and, at the same time, worried that your managers might think that you're picking people up at work.

She might have to coolest, most chill bosses in the world but potentially putting someone in that awkward position seems a little inconsiderate to me.

If you see her outside of work, sure, ask for her number or offer her yours or whatever.

 

[FalloutJack]

TL;DR: Basically i want to know if i would be making a social faux pas by offering my number to a person i am interested in, instead of asking for theirs.

I think giving out numbers willy-nilly is too soon here if you haven't approached her for a date yet. My suggestion would be - since you would be pressed for time at a cashier line - that a simple "Say, do you wanna hang out sometime?" is in order. It's quick, it's neat, and it's impulsive enough not to look like you're fishing if you know her a bit. Start with hang out. Have fun. Don't push things too fast. Talk about yourselves. You'll probably learn through conversation if she's seeing anyone. If you dunno yet, try seeing if she'd want to hang out more, suggest that you both swap numbers to keep in touch. Guys get nervous about this sort of thing because they feel like they're putting everything on the line when it should be eased into. They get worked up about the possibility of failure that it creates a fault in confidence. Don't worry about pass/fail. You want to get involved with her, so try to enjoy yourself while doing it and don't sweat the details 'till later.

 

[loa]

I don't know about the numbers thing but flirting with a cashier on the job seems like a bad idea to me, especially if there is a line.
Try to catch her after work. That should fix the whole "I'm in a line and have no time to chat" dilemma as well as the issue of her potentially getting into trouble with her boss.

 

[Mister K]

What you should do is to actually ask her out. If she says that she already has someone, or is busy, knowing her phone number or giving your own won't help. And don't offer her a date, even if she asks if it is one. Tell her that you simply want to spend time with nice person. If things spark during this meeting, rename it to a date, if not, hey, hopefully you had a good time.

Besides, about number. How exactly were you going to pull it out? "So her's my number, so call me maybe"? Not the best move.

 

[CrystalShadow]

Not a clue. I loathe being given phone numbers, but that's a personal thing, because I have a pretty hard time using the phone, and if someone gives me a number it feels like an obligation to call them which... Given my issues I probably wouldn't do even if I do like them, just because calling people terrifies me.

But... That doesn't really help any.

I would say you will never know if you don't try, but... I have no idea if it would be offensive or not. I don't know the slightest thing about what I should or shouldn't expect a guy to do if he likes me...
Nor what I should do.

Why did I even say anything? >_<

 

[FirstNameLastName]

Speaking as a man who has never asked a women out in his lifetime, I would say you may be better off asking for her number, rather than giving her your own. It is a lot easier to politely decline to give someone your number than it would be to decline receiving someone else's. Unlike a random stranger at a club or a party, you two will apparently be seeing each other regardless of how it goes, so she can't very well just politely accept it and never use it. Receiving a number creates a sort of unspoken obligation to call, making it rather awkward next time you see her.

Also, to what extent do have you actually spoken to one another? You say you've "chatted" with her a bit, but does this mean you've had large in-depth conversations, or just a simple "so how has your day been"? I don't want to be too discouraging here since you are well within your rights to ask her regardless of how well you know her, but retail workers are paid to be friendly with customers, so it may be that she holds zero affection for you and would rather not have to put up with being hit on at work.