So why is it offensive to consider homosexuality as a choice?

[Silvanus]

Personally, I don't think I could say WHERE sexual orientation comes from, nor do I really care, but I do agree with the OP that there is a lot of choice involved... "Do I choose to persue that person?" "Do I choose to accept this person's invitation?" "Do I choose to tell my family I'm in a committed relationship?" Choice, just not necessarily choices about attraction itself.

Well, that's precisely it. Those things you mentioned involve choice-- but none of those things you mentioned are sexual orientation.

Going back to my view of 'genetics as an excuse', I feel that it separates you from the problem. It almost sounds like "hey, this is a part of who I am...I know {it's wrong/you think it's wrong}, but I can't help that it's a part of me".

Having all that outside pressure, with many thanks to religious views, social/cultural standards for normalcy, or a combination of the two, I feel builds a subconscious platform of acceptance that there is something wrong (either that something might be or is sinful, or simply the idea of "different" as a negative). You may or may not be consciously aware of it or want to be a part of it (think of the fashion industry and the whole issue surrounding portrayals of women in TV, advertising, etc.), but it's still in your head, so there's a need to defend yourself, to point to something unchangeable as a way of shifting blame. Thing is, if there's any blame to be had, that doesn't put the blame in the right place.

I understand what you're saying, and I partway agree with it. Certainly, homosexuality needs no justification, and debates like this seem to imply that it does.


That said, I'm afraid that for me, the fact that it's not a choice is pretty important. My mum knows it's harmless, and she's not religious, so she doesn't harbour any prejudices from that direction, either. But, she would prefer I were straight.

In my situation, the fact that it's not a choice is of emotional importance to our relationship. You can surely see why.

 

[aba1]

I feel like nobody actually read the OP. What he is saying is just obviously true. You don't choose what you enjoy sexually but acting on it is a choice.

And you are homosexual if you are solely attracted to the same sex (whether you go follow said attraction makes no difference to your attraction classification). Therefore homosexuality is not a choice and OP is incorrect.

He says that in the title but goes on to clarify in the same way you have...