So you're watching porn...

[Just Ebola]

By porn, I assume you mean a pirated copy of the Fifty Shades of Grey movie? That's about as steamy as things get in my bedroom. My stance on porn is that watching it would be equally as creepy as watching my neighbors bang through their bedroom window. I don't jive with that.

Hentai doesn't count, though! Hnetai isn't porn, hentai is art. Completely different.

 

[Dragonbums]

I don't watch porn, but I sure do like to read fanfiction and look up drawn porn pics.

Needless to say I'd be a blathering mess, and punch myself in the face for it repeatedly for the next two years. That's why I keep all my more needy searches on the phone (and I sure as hell don't download them.)

 

[Dragonlayer]

I'd say, "It's about time you lot showed up, I was beginning to think you got cold feet. Now as per His Holiness's instructions, I found the ultimate inflatable Dragon site and boy howdy is it ever a doozy!"

As for awkwardness, while I am far too clever to have been detected whilst shamefully perusing erotica, I was pretty stunned when I went on the family laptop after my younger brother and the Google Chrome recommended pop-up was a porn site.

 

[JustAnotherAardvark]

...And the unthinkable happens: the pope, the president and Julie Andrews walk into the room. What do you do? Do you

Err?

"Well, your holiness, as you can see, I'm watching an homage to SOB, a classic coming of age story that reflects on a young person's search for the divine, for it's social commentary. And I'm sure, Mr President, you can appreciate this social commentary as well. For whatever it is trying to say. And, Julie, you really should have gotten an oscar...and could you please pass me that tissue?"

Simples.

 

[Evil Smurf]

Jokes on you OP, I'm editing video of an orgy with all of us in it!

 

[Fieldy409_v1legacy]

Stand up, shake their hands, make them all some coffee and engage in plesant smallchat.

Still masturbating with one hand the entire time.

 

[JustAnotherAardvark]

Jokes on you OP, I'm editing video of an orgy with all of us in it!

That whole thing, on the Groot-swing, next to the Pope-mobile, while singing the sound of music?, (and maybe the Saint Bernard)? Photoshop!

Stand up, shake their hands, make them all some coffee and engage in plesant smallchat.

Still masturbating with one hand the entire time.

Maybe don't eat the donut.

 

[Canadamus Prime]

I'd be wondering WTF the pope, the President, and Julie Andrews were doing in my apartment.

 

[Evil Smurf]

Jokes on you OP, I'm editing video of an orgy with all of us in it!

That whole thing, on the Groot-swing, next to the Pope-mobile, while singing the sound of music?, (and maybe the Saint Bernard)? Photoshop!

It's a new series of bang bus, shot from inside the pope mobile,

 

[JustAnotherAardvark]

Jokes on you OP, I'm editing video of an orgy with all of us in it!

That whole thing, on the Groot-swing, next to the Pope-mobile, while singing the sound of music?, (and maybe the Saint Bernard)? Photoshop!

It's a new series of bang bus, shot from inside the pope mobile,

...do I get to at least wear the hat? Or the Saint Bernard that may or may not exist?

 

[Evil Smurf]

Jokes on you OP, I'm editing video of an orgy with all of us in it!

That whole thing, on the Groot-swing, next to the Pope-mobile, while singing the sound of music?, (and maybe the Saint Bernard)? Photoshop!

It's a new series of bang bus, shot from inside the pope mobile,

...do I get to at least wear the hat? Or the Saint Bernard that may or may not exist?

You kinky fuck!

 

[Chris Moses]

My embarrassing/funny story goes something like this...

20 years ago technology was different. Me, my boyfriend (I'm gay BTW), and my mom were living together in a 2 bedroom apartment. The TV in my bedroom was small and wasn't "cable ready". It had no co-axial input just 2 screws to attach an antenna to. What I did have was an old switch box for a video game console (or that was it's original use). It did have a co-axial input. So, what I did was hook up the rabbit ear antenna, and then, so I could watch movies, a VCR was connected via the co-ax and I could switch between the 2.

One day me and my BF decided to watch some porn on the VCR and have sexy time. We finish up, and my BF gets dressed and goes to get a drink. He comes back pale as a sheet. Here is what my mother told him. She was flipping through channels trying to find something to watch (we didn't have cable so she didn't have many channels to flip through). Channel 7 was normally blank but today... She described to my boyfriend what she saw, 3 guys, a weight bench, and then they were having sex. The exact scene we had just watched.

Apparently I had unwittedly made a transmitter, and it transmitted whatever I was watching on the VCR which was frequently porn. Who knows who got a special treat when they tuned into channel 7? I disconnected my setup that day.

 

[Teoes]

Start beating it even more furiously and stare them in the eye.

This is the only correct answer. However you forgot about breathing very heavily and roaring. Other then that, perfect.

And YOU sir, forgot about peeing on them to assert dominance!

Possibly also with some variation on the phrase "Oh, you're my wife now.."

 

[EyeReaper]

Well, I can only imagine it would go a little something like this:

"Ohhhh...,Oh nooo! While the video was clearly marked as 'scat,' there wasn't even a trace of Jazz influence here. Boy have I been made the fool. I didn't know what to expect, this German Scat, but I never expected it to be this shitty"

works every time.

 

[Guffe]

Most likely just freeze... then I would probably think to myself "who the hell are these 3?"
Then I'd come to the conclusion they're nobody important and continuw, you don't want to waste a perfectly good boner do you? Well that might be a bit weird in some situations, but most of the time?

 

[FPLOON]

...And the unthinkable happens: the pope, the president and Julie Andrews walk into the room. What do you do? Do you throw caution to the wind [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Y1rNI-5FtM]? Do you salvage your honour by reaching for the Webley? Do you apologize profusely? Perhaps you shuffle shamefully to the escape window, pants around your ankles. Or maybe you lose all control and simply write off the yoghurt truck entirely.

Ask them if they would like to finish with me... I mean, what could [more] wrong?

What other unfortunate and embarrassing situations have you found yourself in?

Well, it's one thing for your parent(s) to walk into your room while jacking in that plug of yours... It's another for their suppose date to walk in on you wearing the sexy clothing of your parent(s) while jacking in that plug of yours... For me, the latter happened more than the formal... and thank glob we both agreed telepathically to never bring up that part of the past...

Other than that, never let the teacher find out that your gang's equivalent to "The D Club" hangs out in the girl's bathroom... (Not that I'm saying that I've had personal experience with that kind of situation, by the way... *shifty eyes*)

 

[Thaluikhain]

"Get the hell out of my house!" Would be my response... >.> I don't care who it is, you don't just enter MY PROPERTEH!

Welcome to Obama's America? The church and state are literally watching you watch porn.

 

[Fieldy409_v1legacy]

Jokes on you OP, I'm editing video of an orgy with all of us in it!

That whole thing, on the Groot-swing, next to the Pope-mobile, while singing the sound of music?, (and maybe the Saint Bernard)? Photoshop!

Stand up, shake their hands, make them all some coffee and engage in plesant smallchat.

Still masturbating with one hand the entire time.

Maybe don't eat the donut.

Don't worry it's icing.

Really.

Honestly.




I'm super serial.

 

[Barbas]

Slam my laptop closed and fangasm over meeting Julie Andrews, I think.

Damn right! You have your priorities straight.

I use my zweihander to fight them back and lock the door so I can continue where I left off

Leave no business unfinished

"Excuse me, young man, what are yo-"
"SOOOOOUUULSSS!"

"This is exactly what it looks like. You all knew what you were getting into when you stepped into some young guy's room. What did you expect, a table set with candles with each chair having your reservation or something? Please leave."

In all seriousness, I would be WAY to shocked and speechless to say or do anything. Like why are they here, all of a sudden?
Most embarrassing situation for me was when I was ... maybe, 6-8. Second grade going on third. I suddenly crapped myself, with pants on... during recess. I go to my substitute teacher and actually asked her if she could change me.

You should of seen the disgust in her face- ALL while changing my underwear and being like a parent. I was old enough to know better, but I had stomach problems on that day and was helpless to understand what one does when you crapped your pants.

I'll never forget ......... and I still laugh about it lol.

I crapped myself in a museum once in my teens. Top that, son!

 

[KyuubiNoKitsune-Hime]

A friend of mine was feeling experimental and wanted to watch some gay porn but wanted some moral support...

Long story short his GF walked in and freaked out afraid she made him gay.

Worse then having been humiliated, comforting someone who suddenly got an irrational fear about what she did to her significant other.

Other than that when my mom found out about me being trans she got very intrested in what sort of naughty toys and videos I might want and once took me to the adult store when I was 18 and that was humiliating...

... first of all, let me just tell you you have a very interesting life.

Second, what the fuck!?!? Did your mother of all people take you to an adult store? That's... unusual.

OT: Obviously, I would finish right at 'em. That will teach them not to walk in on me while I am having an intimate moment with Rosy Palm and her five sisters. >_>

To put it simply, my mother was an unusual person. I mean it wasn't weird for her to take me shopping for female clothing in my teens. But yeah her talking me to an adult store took the cake. Then again she bought me a black PVC dress with pink chiffon frill and a that laced up corset style in the front with pink satin ribbon from hottopic when I was that age too. The potentially sad part is even post my last growth spurt everything that fit me as a teen still fits me.

But yeah the adult store adventure... My mom was had a tipped cervix and recessed and was a very open person, in spite of being schitzo-effective. So regardless of my gender identity, or sexual preference... She wanted to make sure I could be pleased, partly because it was so hard for her. She never invaded my personal time there. But hell did she make sure that I had options. Really though with accepting parents as a transperson... I am so amazingly thankful. Even if they did humiliate and mortify me on a regular basis.