Sorry sir, but I can't take you seriously.

[individual11]

One of my old work acquaintances, after watching Inglourious Basterds, the near final scene of the Hitler execution:
"Is that what really happened?" Stone faced, dead serious.
My response:
"No, he was taken down by an allied commando while in an armoured suit."
"Really?"
He didn't realise I was taking the piss until the boss fell out of his chair, blue faced and shaking.

No, history is totally irrelevant to modern life.

 

[Nouw]

Oh, it was hot, she was just an idiot for allowing it to occur...and the pedophile=rapist thing is annoying as hell for me too.

I guess from an 'idiotic' point of view, yes that would be very stupid. However from a 'hot' point of view

 

[endplanets]

A year ago one of my history teachers said that it took great courage for Truman to drop the bomb on Japan.
I raised my hand and said that that was one of the most wrong statements I have ever heard.
1) If Truman didn't drop the bombs America and its allies would have had to invade Japan and (on a very conservative count) it would have cost over a million lives, billions of dollars and years and years of house to house fighting. Like Guadalcanal, only bigger, with a supply line and tons of civilians. Not to mention more standard bombing. When the American public eventually found out about the bombs they wouldn't wait for the impeachment trial, they would have locked Truman inside the White House and burned it to the ground.
2) Truman (and basically everyone else) just thought of the nuke as a bigger bomb on yet another bombing run. And that there was a misconception that it was just a civilian killing operation. Hiroshima and Nagasaki (to a lesser extent) had massive military bases that would have been a disaster for the USA if it had a landing operation.
After my little 5 minute history lesson I helped the teacher a bit by saying that what did take courage was when Truman fired MacArthur. But this teacher knew his stuff and simply believed something that (for some reason) most historians believe.

 

[TheKramers]

I could no longer take my friend seriously after she said last November, "Why do we wear poppies? Is it for 9/11?"

Who ever wears poppies? >.>

 

[suitepee7]

During the first programming course I took my teacher was a believer of näcken(water spirits according to google translate) and he also never showered.

There was a Biology teacher I had my sophomore year who, at the beginning of the evolution unit stated that we had to remember that this was all unproven and the bible was more likely to have answers as to how humans came into being. I called her an imbecile and left the class. Had she kept her religion out of the classroom, it would have been fine, but the second she said that, I stopped being able to take anything she said seriously[footnote]with the exception of things I already knew were facts or were in the course book[/footnote].

WAIT, when did it become legal to bring religion into school? As far as I know if you even mention who you support politically you will get fired instantly.

actually in certain states in america it is being pushed to teach intelligent design and the creation story, in science classes. in books on evolution it now has to be printed on the inside cover that evolution is only a theory. for more information watch penn and tellers bullshit on the holy bible. (at least, i think it is the one on the holy bible)

 

[Veldel]

I had a math teacher who passed out in middle of class during lectures and drooled on papers or checked her phone.


Yea and she didnt care about people cheating.


Never could take someone like that seriously

 

[thedoclc]

I had a prof who falsely accused me of cheating and was rebuked by the administration for his over-the-top antics and that his version of the events contradicted every student's and the other proctors' accounts. And when the admin basically told him to drop it, he dared lecture me on academic integrity. I told him that he had been entirely out of line, he had known this, and if he wanted to talk about academic integrity he should look up plagiarism.

Since he still retained his snarky attitude, I waited until the next lecture. I brought my laptop, then blurted out, "Wow, someone's stolen your lecture notes and put them on Wikipedia without citing you as a source! It's word for word the same!" The actual point, of course, was to humiliate him in front of the entire lecture hall for being a prof using Wikipedia as his lecture material source.

 

[sinterklaas]

This is a sample of the things the teachers and chaplains at my school taught us:

"When girls lose their virginity on their wedding night, they bleed to represent the blood sacrifice that used to take place in the Old Testament. I should know, I'm a biology teacher."

"I wouldn't vote for anyone who was atheist or openly gay."

"Evolution says that we mean nothing."

"Every word in the bible is true. It says so in John..."

im so sorry man, this this is just wrong and im fucking catholic.(except the atheist thing see my OT on that)
OT: people who say their atheist, now before you all attack me here is why, logically religion is like insurance, id rather have it and not need it then need it and not have it

Edit: im sorry i didnt make this clear before when i say "people who say their atheist" i mean the little bastards who pull that line if you say god bless you to them when they sneeze.

I present you with:

Spoiler

[link]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fZpJ7yUPwdU[/link]

Watch it all and you'll understand why believing in religion X as an 'insurance' doesn't work.

As for stupid teachers, I had an art teacher who when I said I went to see the Mona Lisa asked me if my vacation to Italy had been nice.

But really, I cannot believe these horror stories about 'biology' and 'science' teachers. Is that even allowed in the USA? That is just insane...

 

[Aprilgold]

Well, almost every teacher.

Math Teacher- *CUE DUNUNHHHNNUHH!*
MATH IS FUN!
Class " No its not."
NO, IT IS SUPER FUN!
*you know why now.

Science Teacher -
Well, your going to be learning Magnetism, of course you could open up your book specifically for this class, but let us open up a definition book and read it all at once.
*This was, I think, 4th grade.*

6th Grade Science -
Your all going to be learning how sex works, but remember that its a sin and we should all be reading the holy bible for the rest of the class period.
*Her explanation to sex was stick go boom and erupt baby. Which took two minutes, then she made us read the holy bible for the rest of it. I still think she knew her class was atheist.*

 

[Supertegwyn]

i wouldnt call her the worst teacher, but morally maybe not so... uh wholesome? she called me after class, and spent an hour puttering around the fact that she wanted to bring me home for her and her husband to have sex with. Was a very.very.very. awkward year after that

What? What?!?!? WHAT!?!?!?!?!?

 

[maxmanrules]

My English teacher. I was writing a story that went along the lines of "the rain fell" and "lightning had struck the tree" This was a piece to "describe a scene in dramatic detail"

The teacher looks at my story and says "Isn't this a bit dramatic?"
"Ummm, I thought that was the point" I said.
"Yeees, but isn't it too dramatic?"
"How?"
"I mean, lightning striking the tree at the exact moment the viewer is watching"
*me dumbfoundedly dropping my jaw to the floor*
"Miss, it's HAD STRUCK. It's past tense."
"I still think it's a little dramatic"

Later, the next day after she had collected the writing and marked it and is handing it back out for editing she comes up to me.
"I don't think you can have lightning and rain at the same time"
This argument is invalid for two reasons, A) past tense and B) that's f*ding stupid.
"I think you can Miss"
"Are you sure" she says in a condescending tone.
"Um yeah"
"Are you a physicist?"
"No"
"Are you a scientist"
"Noooo"
"Well then" She stands and wanders off to be retarded at some other kid.

WTF???

 

[xWestie]

Not sure if it's quite the same, but my mum;

"Can you post this for me whilst you go town please? You can keep the change."
"pfffft, it'll only be £1 or something! Not worth keeping!"
-2 days later-
"Mum, can I borrow £1?"
"Get lost! You cheeky sod. What, you think I'm made of money?"

....-facepalm-

 

[Supertegwyn]

Mr. Snippers.

Ok, here we go.
Marco Polo probably didn't explore China. We at the very least know that most of his stories aren't true (for example, he claimed that he ruled an entire city state for about 2 years, but there are absolutely no records of him in the entire city). He may have never even been to China, as there are several things you really think a person who has been to China would have seen (such as the great wall).

Except the Great Wall wasn't actually completed till hundreds of years after Polo's death.

 

[Liham]

My year 8 and 9 jap teacher, had a shitfit at us for sitting at our desks with our legs crossed. not kidding

 

[Racecarlock]

Darth vader without the voiceover sounds like a british nazi. Seriously, look.
How am I supposed to take that seriously? "Tear the ship apart piece by piece until you've found those planes, and bring me the passengers, I want them ALIFE!"

 

[Quaxar]

Uh, he's kind of right. It's a bit of a simplification, but he's right...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aurora_%28astronomy%29

Auroras result from emissions of photons in the Earth's upper atmosphere, above 80 km (50 miles), from ionized nitrogen atoms regaining an electron, and oxygen and nitrogen atoms returning from an excited state to ground state. They are ionized or excited by the collision of solar wind and magnetospheric particles being funneled down and accelerated along the Earth's magnetic field lines; excitation energy is lost by the emission of a photon of light, or by collision with another atom or molecule:

I think you misunderstand something there.

The solar wind consists of particles, not photons, though emitted by the sun. These particles are relatively slow, taking weeks to reach us (compared to about 8 min. for light) and are ionized so they can get caught in the magnetosphere.
The "emission of photons" only happens up there at the poles where the charged particles give off photons. I think I won't get into detail here, but it is the solar particles that get bent and then emitt light related to the kind of elemental atom they are.

Anyway, I had this math/physics teacher once that had no idea what she was talking about most of the time, that managed to almost electrocute herself in an experiment and was so stupid people would just get their tests back, correct them and tell her she made a mistake there.
I kid you not, at times there were ten people at her desk at the same time with the same stuff. All of them got more points/better grades out of it...

Stand back ma'am! I've got some science here!

Photons can be 'bent' in a powerful enough magnetic field, but not in the same way that ionized particles are. A strong enough field can force a photon to split into an electron/positron pair, which will usually be travelling in a different direction when they recombine. It's not bending in the classical sense, but it has a similar observable effect, so it's sometimes referred to as such! (link) [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Delbruck_scattering]

Well yes, but considering the earth's magnetic field is about 0,00006 T at the poles and an ordinary NeFeB magnet has about 1,6 T I'd say we can safely assume there is no noteworthy amount of quantum-physical magnetic effects going on.
And anyway, bent gamma rays would not be able to produce an aurora because it takes mainly oxygen and nitrogen atoms emitting photons to create the colours. (and of course I've got a link too if we really want to be this professional) [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aurora_%28astronomy%29#Auroral_mechanism]

I mean sure, we can argue about quantum effects but all in all this really isn't much excuse for a bad explanation of aurora borealis.

 

[Cid Silverwing]

This is a sample of the things the teachers and chaplains at my school taught us:

"When girls lose their virginity on their wedding night, they bleed to represent the blood sacrifice that used to take place in the Old Testament. I should know, I'm a biology teacher."

"I wouldn't vote for anyone who was atheist or openly gay."

"Evolution says that we mean nothing."

"Every word in the bible is true. It says so in John..."

I feel so terribly sorry for anyone in your class who had to sit through that Creationist garbage.

My year 8 and 9 jap teacher, had a shitfit at us for sitting at our desks with our legs crossed. not kidding

That's just trolling your teacher.