Sorry sir, but I can't take you seriously.

[Draconalis]

My mother honestly believes it is impossible, under any circumstances, to have more than a 100%

And in places where you CAN have more than a 100%... like... ratios... you ALWAYS go with the bigger value. Because if you go with the smaller one, then you have over a 100%... which is of course... impossible.

I constantly point out that she made a C in math.

Edit:

Oh hey... it's my 3rd anniversary here... I didn't know this till now.

 

[SeeIn2D]

My freshman year physics teacher. The guy had a lisp, he would take short sprints and then let himself slide the rest of the way to his destination in class, and he always told us to google things. Oh and I can't forget the time he kicked me out of class when my friend asked him for a pen. Seriously. My friend asks for a pen and the guy starts flipping out at him that he's unprepared, like fully flipping out. Yelling at the guy saying he's never going to do well in school if he leaves his pens at home. So I'm laughing at this (just like everyone else) and the teacher picks me out of the group and kicks me out of class... because my friend asked for a pen...

 

[Rule Britannia]

My history teacher puts suffixes where they don't belong she said last class "M.A.I.N is an ACRONYSM you can use to help you remember the main causes of WWI"
It's just acronym ¬.¬

Of course I could be wrong and now I look like a moron.

For those wondering it means this:
Militarism
Alliance
Imperialism
Nationalism

 

[Unesh52]

Oh this thread is gold.

OT: My web design teacher probably couldn't have designed her own Myspace page. She actually forced us to print out copies of our web pages for her to grade (which didn't usually work well since they were rarely only 8 inches across, they were black and white, and she couldn't check hyperlinks). When I asked why we couldn't simply e-mail her the html files, she responded that she didn't want to have to go home to do her grading. At the time I couldn't understand what she meant, but after thinking on it for a while, I realized that she didn't realize she could check her e-mail from another computer besides her own. The paper she wastes (still wastes, mind you) is enough of a price for her stupidity, not to mention my time.

I ignored her and her assignments for the rest of the semester and play mega man every day. It's the only class I've ever failed.

 

[Lizardon]

I had an Indonesian teacher in Primary School. My sister and myself and just moved from another school, where my sister had done some Indonesian. When I heard my 7 year old sister had corrected the teacher on some of her pronunciation and translations, I couldn't take her seriously, or her class. She got so annoyed that my friend and I didn't take her or her class seriously, paid no attention and generally took the piss when it came to assignments (I remember an assignment where we had to make a restaurant menu, ours was "The Falling Cat" and served various endangered animals) and yet we did incredibly well.

I later learnt that her qualifications involved going to Bali twice and owning a English-Indonesian dictionary.

 

[Rofl Harris]

During the first lesson he taught us, the lesson was on magnetism, he said that the cause of the auroras was "The magnetic field of the Earth bending the light towards the poles." For those who are not science students, think about the fact that it takes a black hole many times heavier than our sun to bend light like that.

If that's the worst example of this guy's understanding of physics, then I think you're overreacting somewhat. He's not said it's the souls of dead fairies making the ascent to heaven, it sounds more like he's simplified the explanation (clearly not for you as you knew it already, but for others in the class possibly). I'd hate to be the teacher who first taught you how chemical bonding works for you to declare me an imbecile because I didn't use the full interpretation of quantum theory.

Give the guy a break, teaching is a difficult job, especially if the class is full of people like you waiting to tear him down at the first sign of inaccuracy.

 

[targren]

When I was working on my Masters Degree (Digital Forensics), I had to take a Criminalistics course (basically, non-digital forensics). Clearly the prof (who, IIRC, was a pathological toxicologist) was a bit light on the basic physics.

I was able to let it slide when, in a discussion, she didn't seem to grasp the concept that liquid temperature doesn't increase above its boiling point. However, when I lost points on an exam because, and I quote, "Gases don't have volume" (Up Yours, Boyle!), I dropped the course and the entire program. No way was I going to waste another 20 grand on it.

 

[Plazmatic]

I had a teacher who on one day said that World War 2 started in 1938, then on another day (after reading the text book or something) said that the war only technically started when Germany invaded France.
My Polish mates were fuming.

wait wasn't it 1938 or 39?

EDIT :yeah it was 1939, what are you talking about

 

[Ir0n Squid]

......You're making that up. I absolutely refuse to believe that anyone living in the modern world could possibly still think that the world was flat. Is it possible he was joking? Or that you made that up?

Nope [http://theflatearthsociety.org/cms/] From what I understand, some people really are that foolish.

This theory actually exist? And it has a Society?!

OT: I got no particular story myself. I guess when I came to relize the extent of my uncle's low-lifeness I never took him seriously again.

 

[d.revan07]

Just about any teacher whose knowledge is inferior to mine.

 

[Draconalis]

Oh shit, I just remember an even better one than my retarded mother.

I was taking English comp 2 in college, and the word "irony" is one of those pet peeves of mine. So, one of the stories we read was about a boy that quit his job to stand for the rights of some girl, and then he left semi hopeful that they were still around and he could be the hero for them, but even he didn't expect it. And low and behold, when the girl wasn't there.

One of the teacher's quizes on the story was "How was it ironic that they weren't waiting for him in the end of the story" or some such thing. I went on to write that it wasn't ironic at all. Irony is when the opposite of what you expect happens, and he expect they wouldn't be there. So, when I got that one wrong, during class discussion of the test, I continued my point, saying that there was nothing Ironic about the situation...

My Literary Teacher then replied. "You need to stop being so literal."

So... I suppose THAT was fairly ironic... that my English teacher told me that I needed to stop being literal about the meaning of WORDS!

Taken serious from that forward? Not so much.

 

[omega_peaches]

I stop taking people seriously when they say:
"I am not religious at all, but my entire argument is based on god and religion"
"I am not a fanboy, but..."
"I am not sexist, but..."
Generally when someone says they are not something, and then proceed to completely take back what they said.
Also, when someone expresses something as fact, when it is completely wrong, I generally stop believing anything they say.

I'm not racist, it's just those dirty, filthy black people keep messing up my lawn!
OT: One of my Social Studies teachers thought the moon landing was fake, 9-11 was an inside job, etc.

 

[CleverCover]

Before my story, why does it seem most moments like those in life happen involving politics and/or religion in some fashion?

Oh, I have one. This was when I was an impressionable little girl in music class.
It always stuck with me for the sheer insanity of the moment.

I had a new music teacher, a young man who was probably just out of college, I hope.
One day, he came up to our class to give a lecture on music he didn't really care for. So he played us Hotel California. I love this song, especially the guitar and it is a song me and my Father would always sing to when it came along the morning radio.

He didn't like it. Okay, not everyone does. But his reason for hating it forever put him on the list of super crazy.

He told us if you played it backwards, you can hear Satan whispering directions to you. It was devil's music, something to be avoided. He was petitioning to have it banned from the school, like how the vice-principal was well on her way to banning Harry Potter for it's witchcraft. She was also on my list. You don't try and take away my books while I'm reading, dammit.

Thankfully, the entire class called him out on his stupidity, and I left the school two years later. Happy Ending except for the people that still have to listen to him. I always wondered what he heard from that song.

 

[Atlas13]

OT: people who say their atheist, now before you all attack me here is why, logically religion is like insurance, id rather have it and not need it then need it and not have it

Actually logic would tell you that religion isn't insurance, being that there are thousands of religions come and gone, and thousands more to come. So the chances that you picked the right one out of millions is just as good as picking another one.

OT: I remember like, ten years ago, there were two girls talking about how they didn't understand getting an allowance for doing chores. Shit you not, they did not get why some kids had to do chores to get an allowance.

 

[chaosyoshimage]

I don't take anyone seriously. But since there are so many examples of teachers doing/saying stupid crap thought I'd give an example. The teacher that taught computer classes could barely use a computer. She was pretty much a typing teacher from back when they used typing machines. Anytime anyone would need help she come over and try figuring things out the same way students would, randomly clicking crap until she got it to work. A friend of mine pretty much taught any of her classes we were in.

Oh, also had a Science teacher that basically never taught...

 

[blaqknoise]

Uh, he's kind of right. It's a bit of a simplification, but he's right...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aurora_%28astronomy%29

Auroras result from emissions of photons in the Earth's upper atmosphere, above 80 km (50 miles), from ionized nitrogen atoms regaining an electron, and oxygen and nitrogen atoms returning from an excited state to ground state. They are ionized or excited by the collision of solar wind and magnetospheric particles being funneled down and accelerated along the Earth's magnetic field lines; excitation energy is lost by the emission of a photon of light, or by collision with another atom or molecule:

I think you misunderstand something there.

The solar wind consists of particles, not photons, though emitted by the sun. These particles are relatively slow, taking weeks to reach us (compared to about 8 min. for light) and are ionized so they can get caught in the magnetosphere.
The "emission of photons" only happens up there at the poles where the charged particles give off photons. I think I won't get into detail here, but it is the solar particles that get bent and then emitt light related to the kind of elemental atom they are.

Are you sure you should have Pinkie Pie as your avatar rather than Twilight?

 

[easternflame]

I brought the article explaining the creation of a black hole with the super hadron collidor to my quemistry teacher and he said no thing like that was possible.
I Died, a little bit on the inside.

 

[giggetygooo]

he may not be a scientist, but you sir, need electrocution lessons.