[HEADING=1]Spur of the Moment[/HEADING]
I'M BORED, SO HERE LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT TOBLERONE[HEADING=1]TOBLERONE[/HEADING]
(Also camera's buggered, too lazy to find phone, etc.)
Swiss Milk Chocolate with Honey and Almond Nougat. Toblerone of Switzerland. I fucking love this stuff. Odd thing though, I usually despise almonds and nougat... but that'll be a
[HEADING=2]Usefulness[/HEADING]
Well, the triangular prism shape makes it rather strong, so I imagine you could make some sort of fort out of it. Perhaps a castle. If you had enough of them you could make a wheel, enabling you to create a raisable drawbridge for it and all sorts of other mechanisms! The chocolate tends to melt ever so slightly and make my hands all messy, which would help the chocolate stick together, making it an even better candidate for a food-based building material. (Suck it, gingerbread!)
Moving away from building, I guess you could...use it as the jaws for a chocolate crocodile? Mind you don't bring it to life though. It'd try and bite you and then fail as it's teeth melted. And then all it's crocodile friends would laugh at it. Wait, what am I thinking? It wouldn't have friends. You wouldn't give it a chance to make any. You'd just make it in captivity and deny it the freedom to travel the world and eat things. At least, I'd hope you wouldn't. It'd melt.
[HEADING=2]Lethality[/HEADING]
Well, I'm sure you could lure small children into your Toblerone castle if you so wished and then bludgeon them to death or choke them with it. If you sharpened it you might be able to stab someone if you tried really hard, but the aforementioned meltiness makes this a little ridiculous. People would laugh at you in the street. "Hah, look at that twat trying to stab somebody with sharpened Toblerone!" I think I'd have to pretend I didn't know you if you ever did that. You'd be better off with a bit of brick.
[HEADING=2]Aesthetics[/HEADING]
You know, I wish I'd thought to put this one at the top when I started doing this. Oh well.
Anyway. The box is a yellowy orange triangular prism with TOBLERONE written on it in big red letters. The chocolate is- Oh fuck it just Google it. I don't think I can make describing chocolate entertaining. It's got white tasty bits in it. That's about it.
.
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So, anybody have anything they want me to ramble about? I think I've run out of things on my desk, and I'm not quite ready to review paperclips and Wagon Wheel wrappers.
