Squirrel Wars

[samsprinkle]

In the year 2034 squirrels genetically mutated and developed the ability to control gravity. It seems if they bite you they can also use gravity to make you implode...The armies meet at a devastated new York. We are jetpack(to counter the gravity reversing)equiped and heavily armed. DO BATTLE MR. Squirrel!

 

[samsprinkle]

*enters office building and readies MP5*

 

[Mr. Squirrel]

Yeeeeeeee! To Battle! Grab their nuts!

 

[Mr. Squirrel]

Come my legion of Squirrel Warriors and let doom rain down on all of our hume enemies! Bite them, f*ck with the gravity, kill them!

 

[samsprinkle]

NO! *fires wildly into endless wave of squirrels* Equip your athletic cups men! This could get nasty!

 

[Mr. Squirrel]

Rally PETA for our cause, they can serve as meatshields and carrying devices. Use attractive female humans to get the enemy to lose their cups.

 

[samsprinkle]

Rally PETA for our cause, they can serve as meatshields and carrying devices. Use attractive female humans to get the enemy to lose their cups.

*removes cup*Ah god-dangit!

 

[Mr. Squirrel]

Men? It's a full go! Harvest Time! Collect them nuts.

 

[samsprinkle]

NO! I surrender!

 

[Mr. Squirrel]

Damn! We were just having fun, this had better not be one of those dishonest hume tricks to lure us into a false state of security before annihilating us. Because I can ensure you I have back-up plans.

 

[maddawg IAJI]

*fires gernade launcher at squirrels* this makes no sense. its winter they sould be hibernating

 

[Mr. Squirrel]

Oh, sHould we? Well, I don't sleep when there's a gravitational war to fight!

 

[maddawg IAJI]

well i ran out of gernades... but these euthnasia needles fit perfectly. here let me help you sleep

 

[samsprinkle]

Oh god! I can't take it any more! *shoots self*

 

[maddawg IAJI]

great the op couldnt handle his own thread. *crushes a squrrils skull*

 

[Papopapo456]

*Grabs a dead squirrel and holds it like a mace* Come and get me bloody squirrels!

 

[terribleyetfun]

*runs into a building with a rocket launcher* let`s see you take this ya nut gobblers.

 

[Mr. Squirrel]

Squirrels never retreat, Squirrels never surrender; that is Squirrel law, And by Squirrel law we will stand and fight... and die. A new age has begun. An age of freedom, and all will know, that 300 Squirrels gave their last breath to defend it! For Glory! For Squirrels!
Give them nothing! But take from them everything! For tonight we are having their nuts for dinner!

 

[terribleyetfun]

"damn you squirrely bastards" *fires rocket launcher at a gang of squirrels sending body parts splattering against the wall.

 

[Mr. Squirrel]

"damn you squirrely bastards" *fires rocket launcher at a gang of squirrels sending body parts splattering against the wall.

Really? A rocket-launcher in or next to a freaking building to fight squirrels?