Starting an Australian (Bands Only)

[Alexnader]

EDIT: Just noticed the "Forum games' section. How do I move this thing?

Well not really bands only but I just wanted to riff off this thread
http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/18.238407-Starting-a-band-Australians-only#8550675

Ok, basically the aim of the game is to create an Australian. Post in what bit of him/her you want to be.
You know what there's going to be two Aussies now, a male and a female. If you want to you can post in as what bit of him/her you want to be. In the end we'll wind up with the escapist's ideal or perceived version of an Australian.

Format for submitting:
Alexnader
Male
Akubra Hat

I'll check back and update the Australians whenever I can. Also if we have any artists here then maybe you could draw the completed Australians? (I'm being lazy because I have my HSC) Also if anyone can find a better way for me to present the Australians then I'm sold.

CURRENT AUSSIES 21:59 13/10/2010: GMT + 10

Male Aussie (Name: Ultrajoe)

Akubra Hat - Alexnader
American Voice actor speaking for him (John Patrick Lowrie) - Quantum Roberts
Chest Hair in the shape of Australia - Toranilor (I like this one, also I'm assuming you meant male?)
VB hose (Interpret that how you like) - ottenni
Hipster Flannelet Shirt - Scarecrow 8
Shirtless sexyness to make the Old Spice Guy jealous - Labyrinth

Female Aussie

HIPS, hips made of powerthrust - The true blue aussie/kiwi/british sheila known as Labyrinth
Guy nodding in approval with loosened tie staring at said hips - Quantum Roberts
Scattered dingo chewed remains of ex boyfriend littered throughout the bush - Alexnader

Priscilla Queen of the Desert Aussie

Flamboyant Wig - Labyrinth

 

[Toranilor]

Chest hair in the shape of Australia.

 

[Scarecrow]

um...I will not take part in such a horrible nock off.

 

[Ultrajoe]

Ok, basically the aim of the game is to create an Australian.

Perfection here, I heard you were after me.

 

[Alexnader]

Ok, basically the aim of the game is to create an Australian.

Perfection here, I heard you were after me.

The Australian can have your name then. Although at this rate he'll likely have to be renamed to Saxton Hale

 

[Labyrinth]

Let me tell you about the Female Australian.

Less important things first. I'll start with a simple distinction between the Australian Woman and most other ideal women. The Australian Woman has HIPS. I'm not talking about the slight outward lip involved in models. The HIPS of an Australian Woman can bump crocodiles into the Kuiper belt. The rest of her is mainly muscle, made not from mere cells, but from the Awesome which fabricates most of her body. The HIPS are made of POWERTHRUST. She has hair that not even industrial shears can account for, a glorious mane of glorious glory.

The mind of the Australian Woman is sharper than the bushknife she uses to disembowel tourists and wildlife alike. Grown men run screaming like babies from the creatures she will face without a second's hesitation. "You call that a monster?" she'll quip, "I'd offer to introduce you to my ex, but with all the open space in Australia to hide body parts, he's rather hard to piece together." She is smart, she is determined, she is absolutely without fear having been born after the death of The Nightbringer.

And she has a sweet hat. It has Bunyip teeth on it.

 

[Alexnader]

Let me tell you about the Female Australian.

Less important things first. I'll start with a simple distinction between the Australian Woman and most other ideal women. The Australian Woman has HIPS. I'm not talking about the slight outward lip involved in models. The HIPS of an Australian Woman can bump crocodiles into the Kuiper belt. The rest of her is mainly muscle, made not from mere cells, but from the Awesome which fabricates most of her body. The HIPS are made of POWERTHRUST. She has hair that not even industrial shears can account for, a glorious mane of glorious glory.

The mind of the Australian Woman is sharper than the bushknife she uses to disembowel tourists and wildlife alike. Grown men run screaming like babies from the creatures she will face without a second's hesitation. "You call that a monster?" she'll quip, "I'd offer to introduce you to my ex, but with all the open space in Australia to hide body parts, he's rather hard to piece together." She is smart, she is determined, she is absolutely without fear having been born after the death of The Nightbringer.

And she has a sweet hat. It has Bunyip teeth on it.

...sorry but you can only claim one thing. What's it to be? Mind, hips, hair, her ex boyfriend or the hat?
If no one else wants to be a bit of an Australian woman (I have no idea why this would be the case) then you can have the whole lot.

 

[The Salty Vulcan]

Let me tell you about the Female Australian.

Less important things first. I'll start with a simple distinction between the Australian Woman and most other ideal women. The Australian Woman has HIPS. I'm not talking about the slight outward lip involved in models. The HIPS of an Australian Woman can bump crocodiles into the Kuiper belt. The rest of her is mainly muscle, made not from mere cells, but from the Awesome which fabricates most of her body. The HIPS are made of POWERTHRUST.

"Starts staring at Labyrinth's Hips. Nods in agreement WHILE staring. Loosens tie to cool down."

 

[Labyrinth]

...sorry but you can only claim one thing. What's it to be? Mind, hips, hair, her ex boyfriend or the hat?
If no one else wants to be a bit of an Australian woman (I have no idea why this would be the case) then you can have the whole lot.

What? Heresy!

Fine. Fine. Hm. HIPS. Definitely the HIPS. They should also be all in capitals, as fits their nature.

 

[ottenni]

I would apply, but there is some roo stuck in my radiator and i need to go wash it off with VB.

 

[Alexnader]

...sorry but you can only claim one thing. What's it to be? Mind, hips, hair, her ex boyfriend or the hat?
If no one else wants to be a bit of an Australian woman (I have no idea why this would be the case) then you can have the whole lot.

What? Heresy!

Fine. Fine. Hm. HIPS. Definitely the HIPS. They should also be all in capitals, as fits their nature.

A fine choice I can say that much. In that case I'll take the ex boyfriend.
EDIT
Don't think I'm not including you quantum roberts.

 

[Labyrinth]

I had a thought! You must include the Australian Drag Queen, in true Priscilla [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/18.238416-Starting-an-Australian-Bands-Only#8550786] style, you know, Hugo Weaving in a fluorescent Lycra dress covered in thongs style.

I put claim to the flamboyant wig!

 

[The Salty Vulcan]

Forshame!! Where's the love for a true Australian Icon?


Hang your heads in shame as you bask in his glory.

 

[Alexnader]

We're going to wind up with every iconic image at this rate. But fine, it's going in.

Also Scarecrow 8 gets in for being hipster.

 

[Labyrinth]

Aren't you a Kiwi? Techniacally speaking ma'am.

OT: Classic Aussie males include Crocodile Dundee, The Crocodile Hunter (do not confuzzle them) and some kind of sick twisted genesplice between the two.

I am in fact an Australian citizen. And a NZ citizen. And a British Citizen. I suppose you could say I'm a true colonial.

 

[Alexnader]

Argh, updated to incorporate Labyrinth's rather confusing heritage. Anyway the question we have to ask is does she still call Australia home?

 

[Stollos]

Don't forget, all the respectable Australians ride kangaroos to school/their place of work. Sometimes, we even have races. But horses are cool too I suppose.

 

[Labyrinth]

Well I currently live here, and while I have every intention of travelling, probably will retain Australia as my base of operations for a long time. If that counts as "home" sure.

I was born in a place called Papakura, in Auckland. Considering how much of the Australian population, and the Australian stereotype takes genetic material from Europe, from which NZ takes it's colonial genes as well, these genetic traits probably do. Also, I've survived here for 15 years which includes a whole lot of hiking. So I'd say I'm pretty damn hardy.