I'm straight but I love drama, musicals and theatre work.
I'm a musician with long hair but I don't only listen to metal and complain about everything else.
I'm young but I hate the trashy shit on the charts. I also have a beard.
I'm a guy but I'm not hyper-sexualised.
I am alive today but I'm empathetic.
I goof off and occasionally cut class but I'm actually very intelligent.
I'm descended from Jews but I'm not a multi-millionaire.
I live in the country but I don't shoot small animals for fun.
I choose to act peculiar but really, I could be as normal as anyone else if I wanted. I don't though, because that's no fucking fun.
I'm a teenager who frequents Basingstoke but I don't smoke.
I have a phone but I use correct grammar and I spell out my words.
I'm not a nerd but I used to hack.
I live in the 21st Century but I dress like The Fonz (minus the hair. Hair gel irritates my scalp).
I am a boy but I shower, wash, brush and straighten my hair, and try to take care of myself.
I am a boy but I write poetry and short stories, and I like romance.
I am British but I don't carry a knife to school.
I am British but don't talk with one of three accents that foreigners know: Scouse, Cockney and Upper Class.
I am British but I don't have wooden teeth.
I am a teenager but I don't drink.
I'm a guy and I hate sports.
I'm a man and I can cook.
I'm not homophobic in the slightest.
I don't masturbate.
I am as antitheistic as it is possible to be, but I can get on with the religious as long (as the subject is not breached).
And so on, and so on, and so on, until the cows come home.