Stop being an outcast?
- Thread starter Cortheya
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In my opinion, they aren't likely to stop bullying you if they're made to look like fools either, though. They need to look tough, so if they're made the fools then they will probably just try harder to look bigger and badder.santaandy said:
And while the crowd may be on your side, that doesn't much help if they're all too afraid to do something, or if they enjoy the jokes and pranks played on you. Inside they may be sorry for you, but outside they'll probably laugh or try to ignore it. Hopefully they ignore it as then the bullies would probably find someone new.
Just my two cents on your two cents.
Fuck school. People are dicks. Where ever you are. I did three different middle schools (there are only three years of middle school) and two different high schools. Three states in there. People are dicks. Get used to it. Nurse that little ball of hatred you have for everyone, because it'll serve you well in dealings with the rest of the world, because most people you'll run into are dicks.
I hardly talk to anyone I did in high school. Most of my friends are now older than me, and I've changed into an entirely different person.
I hardly talk to anyone I did in high school. Most of my friends are now older than me, and I've changed into an entirely different person.
In my honest opinion, think about yourself better. Calling yourself a loser and geek isn't going to help you. Those are other people's opinions about you, not yours, and they shouldn't be.
Go out of your way to spend time alone, get to know yourself. If your confident in yourself and comfortable with how you are, people will like you more.
Go out of your way to spend time alone, get to know yourself. If your confident in yourself and comfortable with how you are, people will like you more.
Don't listen to all the people advocating violence. The fact that you're posting this here means you're looking for a different route that doesn't involve violence, and therefore you aren't capable of it in the first place. If you were, you would have done it by now. Don't use us as a way to goad you into violence. That just makes the site liable. If you just need to be encouraged to do violence, don't look for it here. Dehumanize your opponents by yourself. Once you're sure that the only way to survive with your pride intact is to break their heads with a baseball bat, then do so, but without pointing the finger at us. Just be sure you're able to deal with the consequences. With that said...
...aiming for their kneecaps will surprise and stun them, allowing you to finish them off.
...aiming for their kneecaps will surprise and stun them, allowing you to finish them off.
The best way to deal with it in the end is to do it better than them. Study harder, be smarter, work harder, and push yourself. It's a great balm.
Similar situation, only not quite: My dad has three masters degrees. My mother's siblings gave him shit about it when he was in school. What are you going to do with all that education? Blah blah blah. Now, they're backwater fucks, and he could buy and sell the lot of them (granted, that's not all that hard, since they're all worthless pieces of shit).
Living better works every time. It may take time and dedication, but it'll be worth it in the end.
And if you need help getting your shit together after school, the military's actually a pretty good route. Did pretty well by my dad, and they're offering a hell of a lot more money these days. Get in shape, get some discipline, get money for school, have a steady paycheck, and you'll be doing ok. My little bro is probably getting a contract from either the Navy or the Air Force to study to become a nurse. School paid for, and paid a salary plus food and housing. He has to serve a set number of years after he's done, but he's been in for four or five years now, and it's done good things for him.
Similar situation, only not quite: My dad has three masters degrees. My mother's siblings gave him shit about it when he was in school. What are you going to do with all that education? Blah blah blah. Now, they're backwater fucks, and he could buy and sell the lot of them (granted, that's not all that hard, since they're all worthless pieces of shit).
Living better works every time. It may take time and dedication, but it'll be worth it in the end.
And if you need help getting your shit together after school, the military's actually a pretty good route. Did pretty well by my dad, and they're offering a hell of a lot more money these days. Get in shape, get some discipline, get money for school, have a steady paycheck, and you'll be doing ok. My little bro is probably getting a contract from either the Navy or the Air Force to study to become a nurse. School paid for, and paid a salary plus food and housing. He has to serve a set number of years after he's done, but he's been in for four or five years now, and it's done good things for him.
Eh, I'm still somewhat of an outcast, but I'm generally respected and have a close following. I'll try and help you a bit though. Here's a few things I did to achieve this:
1. Use the words "damn" and "hell" casually. Not quite a sailor at all, but it works to make one look less like a pansy.
2. Be a gentleman/classy. It's rather impressive and makes one seem more friendly.
3. Find some awesome article/articles of clothing. For example, I got an overcoat from my grandfather and my dad bought me a Tilley Hat, so I ended up with very much a gentleman-badass look. Course I'm in a small town so the overcoat went over pretty well. Still, a cool hat can work in pretty much any place.
4. Take Drama. Just do it. I played Banquo in our comedic futurization of Macbeth (as a badass war hero who actually kind of sucked at fighting), and also played an evil overlord type character in a sci-fi parody (who turned out to kind of fail at his overlording). The persistent element between these characters was Failed Awesomeness, so try and see if you can get something like that going. You'll get a lot of attention and it will be funny instead of sad because you'll learn how to twist that into something EVERYONE (including you) finds funny.
5. Join the otaku groups. Er... or don't. I dunno, I got a lot of friends this way. It's helpful to find people failing even more than you at social skills.
6. Play DnD, preferably DM and be totally awesome. I DM one of the games at DnD club at school, and I bend the rules in such extreme and awesome ways that I have about 7 people in my group because they all wanted to be in my game. (We have a Gelatinous Cube Sorcerer, huzzah!)
7. Be cocky, brilliant, moronic, silly, witty, and epically manic. Preferably as simultaneously as possible. Make sure to open your inner thoughts about how awesome you are to other people, and let them know that you rock.
8. Start a trend, maybe even just for your class. For example: In my computer engineering class, I started a trend where every time someone enters the room we applause.
Although these helped me gain popularity, I am still somewhat of an outcast. But in a really small niche (DnD club, mostly) I'm edging upon famous. Now these may not work for you, but it's worth a try.
Whatever it takes, I wish you good luck.
1. Use the words "damn" and "hell" casually. Not quite a sailor at all, but it works to make one look less like a pansy.
2. Be a gentleman/classy. It's rather impressive and makes one seem more friendly.
3. Find some awesome article/articles of clothing. For example, I got an overcoat from my grandfather and my dad bought me a Tilley Hat, so I ended up with very much a gentleman-badass look. Course I'm in a small town so the overcoat went over pretty well. Still, a cool hat can work in pretty much any place.
4. Take Drama. Just do it. I played Banquo in our comedic futurization of Macbeth (as a badass war hero who actually kind of sucked at fighting), and also played an evil overlord type character in a sci-fi parody (who turned out to kind of fail at his overlording). The persistent element between these characters was Failed Awesomeness, so try and see if you can get something like that going. You'll get a lot of attention and it will be funny instead of sad because you'll learn how to twist that into something EVERYONE (including you) finds funny.
5. Join the otaku groups. Er... or don't. I dunno, I got a lot of friends this way. It's helpful to find people failing even more than you at social skills.
6. Play DnD, preferably DM and be totally awesome. I DM one of the games at DnD club at school, and I bend the rules in such extreme and awesome ways that I have about 7 people in my group because they all wanted to be in my game. (We have a Gelatinous Cube Sorcerer, huzzah!)
7. Be cocky, brilliant, moronic, silly, witty, and epically manic. Preferably as simultaneously as possible. Make sure to open your inner thoughts about how awesome you are to other people, and let them know that you rock.
8. Start a trend, maybe even just for your class. For example: In my computer engineering class, I started a trend where every time someone enters the room we applause.
Although these helped me gain popularity, I am still somewhat of an outcast. But in a really small niche (DnD club, mostly) I'm edging upon famous. Now these may not work for you, but it's worth a try.
Whatever it takes, I wish you good luck.
Ive been on both sides of the fence as far as bullying and being bullied goes. The important thing is to just do your own thing and not let people get to you. People target you because you react to them. When you look scared or embarrassed or angry it makes them feel powerful. Be happy, smile. Talk to people. You have to realise that you are the central figure in your life, and that your main concern should be finding out what makes you happy.
If you are really concerned about what people think of you, the best way to make friends is to just do your own thing and be happy with that. If you are happy and polite people will like you, its as simple as that.
If you are super concerned with what people think of you, i gotta be honest; start going to the gym and get involved in a sport. If you are fit people wont mess with you.
Its a bit of a sad irony that the best way to be sociable is to NOT make a conscious effort.
If you are really concerned about what people think of you, the best way to make friends is to just do your own thing and be happy with that. If you are happy and polite people will like you, its as simple as that.
If you are super concerned with what people think of you, i gotta be honest; start going to the gym and get involved in a sport. If you are fit people wont mess with you.
Its a bit of a sad irony that the best way to be sociable is to NOT make a conscious effort.
I followed what my parents told me. always ignore them. It just got even worse as school went on for me. I still ignored them.
My option. Throw a few punches and stand up for yourself. You will still be alive after its over. After high school, The world is worse depending on who you meet.
Get the most out of high school.
My option. Throw a few punches and stand up for yourself. You will still be alive after its over. After high school, The world is worse depending on who you meet.
Get the most out of high school.
They hit you? Legal right to defend yourself. Simply have a witness in a teacher that they very visibly saw you get hit first, and then fuck the person up. If you are in the same situation I was, where you are not fast/strong/etc enough to win in a fight, then fight dirty. Kick them in the nuts, stab with pens and pencils, and bite if you can. No shame in fighting dirty. It works.Cortheya said:
Well I went through that and you have a few options:
Fight back. This will hurt but if you can damage a few of them they will back off. I don't mean break their legs but if all you're doing is swinging like an idiot it will only make the situation worse.
Start working on getting funnier, and talk to the people around you when you do group assignments, coming off as funny if a bit quirky. Will mean you are either eventually left alone or make friends
Hold it in and wait, life will get better. This is only true though if you can deal with it for now.
I know it sucks and it seems like there is shit all you can do but just hold on mate, you'll get through and find real people to hang out with and leave every single of those petty fuckwits behind. Nerd power brother, it's not as immediate as physical strength but when you realize that you have it life is a lot better.
Fight back. This will hurt but if you can damage a few of them they will back off. I don't mean break their legs but if all you're doing is swinging like an idiot it will only make the situation worse.
Start working on getting funnier, and talk to the people around you when you do group assignments, coming off as funny if a bit quirky. Will mean you are either eventually left alone or make friends
Hold it in and wait, life will get better. This is only true though if you can deal with it for now.
I know it sucks and it seems like there is shit all you can do but just hold on mate, you'll get through and find real people to hang out with and leave every single of those petty fuckwits behind. Nerd power brother, it's not as immediate as physical strength but when you realize that you have it life is a lot better.
No offense to this idea, but if you do this life will get worse...depending on how you consider it. People will ignore you and start making a lot of remarks, never hitting you but the emotional abuse following this choice could kill you. A guy at my school did something like this (though different circumstances etc.) and since the ENTIRE school has hated him.Mstrswrd said:
I went to a privet school. one day I was getting piked on by two other kids, I beat one down and chased the other one though the entire school. I got lots of publicity and threaten by the principle and got a letter of reprimand for having sex with an 12th grader . I was 16 at the time she was 18. the day after I beat down the bully's we became friends. the principle wanted to kick me out so bad that I quit school entirely and got a home school diploma at 16. later I joined the army and latter went to IRAQ. I was in the first army unit to cross the line into the hot zone. we were attached to 1st meph 3rd ID. needles to say that I was wounded in combat and my unit was sent home after 6 months of heavy fighting. my unit was awarded several meddles.I later got out of the army on a honorable medical retirement discharge.I went home and in uniform went back to my school to see the one teacher that I did like.I ran into the principle and the look on his face when I told him I retired (at 24 years old) was priceless.
People make fun of you because you're predictable. Become unpredictable and they wont annoy you as much.Cortheya said:
Change haircut, dress diferently, scream at them when they annoy you and dont hold the swear words, punch them in the face if they keep annoying you. Sure it will get you into trouble but it will be worth it.
Hello I too am a complete nerd but............What you need is to find other nerds and kongregate (hehehe). No seriously I am completely fine with being an outcast actually i love it. I have never been attracted to being stereotypical or part of the main group. I have a small group of good friends and thats all i need. You need to make connections with the right people (especially for when the zombies come)Cortheya said:
In grade nine was wasn't an outcast per say but all the students were spit into 2 classes and I got stuck in the one without any of my friends and my arch-nemeses and his buddies. Bullying ensued and after a week I got pretty sick of it so one day when he was walking down the isle between the desks I kicked a chair at him. He wiped out, laughs were shared by all and I moved up a few pegs up in my social standings. The next day I told everyone that he craped himself in a closet while we were playing Driver 3 (we were friends until grade seven and that actually did happen). We later found out that he had been crying in the bathroom. So I guess the moral of the story is the story is public humiliation is the bane of any bullies existence.
Some do's and don'ts (from what I?ve seen in my high school/junior high career)
-DO NOT get your big brother/mom to come to the school and cuss out the people that are bullying you (that was probably the funniest thing ever to happen in junior high)
-band together with your fellow nerds, theres bound to be a few other outcasts you can hang out with
-try talking to some people, a lot of the outcast I knew were only unpopular because they kept to themselves all the time.
-DO NOT be that guy who always studies during class and never goofs off, I may get some flack for saying this but unless your in grade 12 (in Canada at least) your marks don't really matter and class is a great time to small talk with people and make some friends.
-if all else fails just purchase a gun and ki.... wait DO NOT do that.
I hope that?s was helpful (I?m 100% sure it wasn?t) if not, well it staved off my boredom for a while, so at least it made me feel better.
Some do's and don'ts (from what I?ve seen in my high school/junior high career)
-DO NOT get your big brother/mom to come to the school and cuss out the people that are bullying you (that was probably the funniest thing ever to happen in junior high)
-band together with your fellow nerds, theres bound to be a few other outcasts you can hang out with
-try talking to some people, a lot of the outcast I knew were only unpopular because they kept to themselves all the time.
-DO NOT be that guy who always studies during class and never goofs off, I may get some flack for saying this but unless your in grade 12 (in Canada at least) your marks don't really matter and class is a great time to small talk with people and make some friends.
-if all else fails just purchase a gun and ki.... wait DO NOT do that.
I hope that?s was helpful (I?m 100% sure it wasn?t) if not, well it staved off my boredom for a while, so at least it made me feel better.
