Stories of Total War...

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Barciad

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For some reason, I still play Medieval II. Empire lacked the visceral thrill whilst Shogun II lacked the scope. I have found that two well timed Jihads is the way to go with the Turks. Not to mention a bit of divine intervention regarding where the Mongols end up.
 

Comando96

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I fight epic battles all the time. But I was impressed with my most recent one!


Outnumbered 2 to 1 and I only took 14% losses while the enemy force was completely and totally annihilated!

A good mornings work lads!

----------------

One of my most epic battles was in Rome and sadly there were no screen although the battle itself was epic beyond belief.
I tend to have extended supply lines of troops in Rome traveling from the front, back for replenishment. Well this one convoy was particularly unfortunate as on the way to see their wives and children again, these half strength group of 7 units were intercepted by 15 full strength Gaul units who had somehow snuck around the alps and were aimed at a rather empty northern Italy. My main army had pushed through Marsiles and split in half to besiege both Lemonum and Lugdunum.
The Gauls thought they would have an easy warm up victory again my half stregnth force of 6 Principies and 1 Equites before they got stuck into my cities in North Italy and scuppered my campgain plans.
They attacked me at a river crossing, no bridge. I positioned my troops just so that they would be forced to fight in the water of the crossing, while my troops on land, also I intended to get my cavalry and my most experianced unit of Principes to flee behind the enemy if all goes worse and I position them at the other crossing point...
Well the enemy pour into the defended corssing point and I get stuck in and move some other forces around the side. Heavy heavy fighting in the centre wear down the inexperianced enemy Light Infantry and my troops hold their own until the general gets in. Once he arrived I thought it was lost and moved my cav and infantry in order to retreat. Then to my shock their general was hit with a missile and a sword and died...................... the worst for wear unit of infantry fled and made others waver, I siezed this development and charged my infantry and cav at their rear which was enough to shatter the troops and then sandwhich them between the two forces and demolish the entire enemy army...
I dunno what happened that day, but I assume the Gauls really pissed off the Gods to earn that one :D
 

Bill Nye the Zombie

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In Medieval 2, I was playing as Sicily, and the Pope evidently hated me. I was always stuck at 3 or 4 crosses, even though I bent over backwards to accommodate him, building churches, priests, and doing all his stupid missions. So, I try to assassinate him. No dice after 2 times. So I pull almost all mt units to try and take Rome. We have this huge, massive battle, and we both manage to kill each others army, but I managed to kill the Pope. So the new British Pope calls a crusade on me, and to my surprise, Poland, Hungary and The Holy Roman Empire sign on. So I rush to build a new army, and in a second battle, I manage to defeat the Pope and kill him again. And just as I do that, the Polish Crusade army comes storming down Northern Italy. I rush to get the new new Pope at agree to Peace, and he calls off the crusade, and all across the Kingdom of Sicily, people managed to breath again, including me.

There was also the time I played as Scotland, got Cannons after Steamrolling England and decided to fight France. After taking most of the French cities, I though that Denmark and the Holy Roman Empire were much to close to my territory. So I turned my army on them.

But my best story was in Rome. I was playing as the Brutii, and fighting Greece. I had taken Thurmon, and sent my best army and General to take Corinth. While he was getting there, the Greeks sent two armies to stop him. So, for 30 minutes, we fight back and forth, not giving and inch. After about 45 minutes both sides have units starting to waver or route. After an hour, all that's left is one unit of Roman Archers for me, one unit of Hopilites for them. I frantically have my archers running around the map hoping they don't run out of arrows and managed to get the Greeks to route. I marched my half dead army back to Thurmon and managed to take Corinth without too much trouble after that battle.
 

tsb247

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I have had some truly epic moments in Shogun 2. Most of them centered around sieges - particularly the siege of Kyoto. I had one particular siege on Kyoto that lasted for about 30 minutes, and I managed to defeat a rather large wave of reinforcements that the Shogunate had managed to sneak in behind my forces. Their fatal mistake was trying to flank me. I had kisho ninjas hidden in the forest behind my attacking force, and when the Shogunate's forces attempted to get close... Well, it didn't end well for them.
 

Cabisco

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Soluncreed said:
Demon ID said:
IamQ said:
Demon ID said:
I die a lot on those games, so many of my stories would involve mostly swearing and then a whimper when my last units are cut down whilst they attempt to run away. Total War is not my friend, it's still nice to read other peoples less horrifying experiences though.
I take it that you are not the most tactical person when gaming? ;)
I think I am, right up until that very moment when the game starts I wholeheartedly believe I will crush all before me, I start to cackle to myself and mutter things about how amazing this will be. Then the game starts and it all begins to crumble, like a Marzipan dildo I become utterly useless.

I can play CIV, AOE etc but when it comes to total war I get fucked more than a hooker during shore leave.
I like the way you describe things.
I'm contemplating having a little go at shogun two, it's installed on a laptop in the house just so I can A. Share a story and B. reaffirm to myself just how pathetic I am at strategy beyond kill the bastards with the pointy end.
 

SckizoBoy

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BathorysGraveland said:
The last Total War campaign I played was for a Hellenic mod for Rome: Total War and I was playing as Krete.
That wouldn't be Hegemonia: City States would it?

crazypsyko666 said:
I'm a fan of the Holy Roman Empire in Medieval 2, except I usually have trouble holding all of the lands I end up conquering. So one game, instead of letting my country eat itself apart slowly, I just let it die. I kept a few wealthy Italian cities from collapsing while turning city after city into a rebel nation. I didn't win, but I sure as hell made sure everyone else lost. Until I hit Russia, that is.

Damn Russians.
Reminds me of my invasion of Russia in Napoleon: Total War. Only I was playing as Prussia. Marched in with three corps late game and basically charged for Moscow pillaging as I went. All the captured provinces rebelled, and when the Russian forces came to clean up they were left with one hell of a clean up bill!!

Tharwen said:
That had me in stitches at work today! Thanks for making it bearable. XD

yokillernick said:
Julii vs Scipiones
I hope the irony isn't lost on you in that story!! =P

OT: Another one, from M2:TW...

Holy Roman Empire

The Pope has called a Crusade to retake Antioch, and Kaiser Heinrich is already at a low ebb with the Pontiff. So, he sends one of his adopted nephews with a hastily formed army on the long march from Vienna through Hungary, Rumelia, Cilicia and Anatolia before finally laying siege to the Egyptian held Antioch. Bolstered by a few units of mercenary dismounted knights and Crusader Sergeants, Antioch falls after a brief assault. However, now, the trouble begins. So far from home, the army is beset first by the Egyptians, unhappy that infidels have taken their northernmost city, and then the Turks, dismayed at the passage of a Crusader army through their lands. But miraculously, the Prince John not only weathers the assault by the Saracens, but consolidates his position by quickly taking Aleppo and recruiting fresh levies and charging down into the Holy Land, taking Acre by storm, sending his own son to take Damascus, and himself advancing on Jerusalem. However, he would die during the assault on the ultimate prize, decapitated by a ballista bolt as he co-ordinated the attack on the walls.
 

ryanthemadman

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Once in Medieval 2 I was playing as the English and Scotland had declared war on me and was in the process of moving his 2000+ men against my paltry forces at York.
With MAYBE 1000 men of mostly militia status I had lost many of my men in pitched battles.
So, i proceeded to move as many men as I could with all of my generals... and I hid in the bushes waiting for them to come and get me until they were utterly spent, THEN I made sweet sweet love to their corpses.
 

The Funslinger

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I've been playing the shit out of the Westeros Total War mod for Medieval 2.

With the death of King Robert, first of his name, the ascension of Joffrey, first of his name, to the Iron Throne of Westeros, and the imprisonment and subsequent execution of Eddard Stark, Lord of Winterfell, Warden of the North and Hand of the King, war has broken out in the Seven Kingdoms.

As a result of Eddard's imprisonment, his eldest true born son, Robb, has called his father's banners to march on Winterfell. Joffrey's unmeditated decision to execute Lord Stark eliminated any hope of a peaceful solution. Had a solution such as this been reached, war would still have occurred, however. Due to evidence uncovered by Stannis Baratheon and the deceased Jon Arryn casting doubt onto the validity of King Joffrey's birth, Stannis Baratheon retreated to Dragonstone to muster his forces. After being rebuffed by Lord Stark, Renly did the same. Although this discovery would technically make Stannis the rightful heir, Renly has done this for his own claim to the throne.

As the new Lord Stark gathered his forces, the Tullies were beset by Lannister forces and completely obliterated. Greatjon Umber repelled enemy forces from White Harbor and took seat as Governer there. Lord Roose Bolton took a lion's share of forces south to blaze a trail. He won several crushing victories, claiming numerous cities and castles including Fairfield and Harrenhal. In a field skirmish, his forces rode down and slew Tyrion Lannister, who was found vulnerable, most likely caught in the crossfire moving between Lannister territories at the time of the invasion.

Roose Bolton took seat in Harrenhal and sent forces west to capture settlements controlled by forces that had rebelled against the Lannisters. It was around this time that tensions gradually began building between the Starks and the Arryns, most likely due to Lysa Arryn (formerly of house Tully). She reacted negatively to Stark requests that the Arryns assist in the war, and most likely placed blame on the Starks for House Tully's sudden destruction. The Tully's primary seat, Riverrun, was at this point home to a huge Lannister garrison. The last in the midlands in and around the Trident. Under orders from lord Stark, Captain Ronnel began a siege, which caused numerous Lannister generals, such as Jaime Lannister, Stafford Lannister, Lancel Lannister, and Lord Tywin himself to disperse from their positions outside its walls.

Around this time, Theon Greyjoy landed on the North West shores. Having only been given a token force by his father, and with the Greyjoy house all together poor, he opened trade relations with the Starks. Stark diplomats easily also formed an alliance with Stannis, who was struggling to rally troops, as many Baratheon bannermen were instead joining Renly's forces.

At this point, Robb Stark had begun journeying south with a small army, to join it to the larger force laying seige to Riverrun. On the way, he intercepted Tywin Lannister. Tywin put up a much better fight than anticipated, having joined with a hidden Lannister army. These men were crushingly defeated, but Tywin evaded Robb's grasp. As a consolation prize, however, Robb soon ambushed Tywin's brother, Stafford. Stafford had not been able to take control of Lannister troops and his guard were caught in the open. He, himself took a sword through the back from Lord Robb whilst attempting to flee.

From there, Robb joined his men to the siege force, giving him in total, slightly more men than the large garrison contained within Riverrun. He took an effective victory, and took numerous prisoners. As with all previous ransoms offered, the Lannisters declined, and Robb executed them. Robb chased Tywin Lannister once again. Once again, Tywin utilized hidden Lannister forces. Once again Robb triumphed, killing them to a man. That man was Tywin himself, who barely managed to evade Robb's cavalry and escape.

Robb stayed in Riverrun for a short while before moving North East. He was near a small force of Arryn soldiers when the Arryns declared war and assaulted him. He and his guard managed to escape, but the battalions of men at arms accompanying Robb were slain by their larger foe. Nonetheless, it was Robb's decision that he would persevere and attempt to attain a ceasefire and from there, an alliance with the Arryns due to their pre-existing ties. He accepted, however that their recent success against him had likely made Lysa confident and eager to continue. He elected to bloody them before offering peace. The Stark/Arryn war did not start up properly for some time, as the Arryn forces were cautious of the larger and more experienced Stark forces, and as Robb had devoted most of his effort to flushing out Lannister rebels from the surrounding area.

Eventually, the war did continue. Robb and Roose each won a number of victories, often with half as many men as the Arryns, who had worked hard levying and training troops while Robb battled ex-Lannister forces. During this time, Bran and Rickon Stark journeyed south from Winterfell, after having funneled small doses of reinforcements for some time. Their troops pushed through rebels, and they took an Arryn town. At this time, they took over four hundred Arryn men prisoner. While Robb was still hoping to bring the Arryns to heel, he could not allow them to regain a large army's worth of men and so ordered them executed. Eventually, the Arryns claimed two minor victories, one against Roose Bolton, and one against Bran and Rickon. In both cases, due to Stark forces finally succumbing to losses sustained in their victories against larger forces. They executed the 21 men captured from Roose Bolton's forces in paltry revenge for the 400 they had lost. Not wanting to start a cycle of revenge, in their next victory, the Starks released 125 Arryn prisoners without ransom. Shortly after this, Robb Stark was declared King in the North.

Presently, the Starks and Arryns are preparing their next moves, due to Robb's first attempt at fixing relations failing. An army serving Joffrey has appeared in the area, and has ousted Stannis' forces in the area, giving the new King in the North yet more to worry about.
 

orangeban

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There I was, at the helm of the mighty and vast Russian Empire. I had expanded deep in Ottoman territory, pushing them out of Europe, pushing my way through Dagestan in order to pincer round, mopping up the Persians as I went. On the other side of Europe, I had managed to liberate St Petersburg, and then Finland from the Swedish.

Then it all went to shit. There are a few reasons for this, which took place over 2 or so turns.

1) Austria declared war on me, forcing me to pull the bulk of my army out of Istanbul in order to protect soft Bulgaria and Croatia. The British sided with me, but, not so worryingly, the French sided with the Austrians, and, more worryingly, the Polish sided with the Austrians, a move I still don't understand and have never forgiven them for, in any game.

2) The Swedish pulled, out of their asses presumably, a full stack army of line infantry, who pushed my comparatively weak Cossack forces out of Sweden back to Helsinki. It should be noted at this point that the Baltic Sea had been long blockaded by the Swedes.

3) The Ottomans also managed an asspull, finding a huge navy somewhere, which sank the forces I had blocking the Black Sea, and preparing for a voyage to the New World.

4) In a move I hadn't seen coming, even less so than the betrayal by Poland, the Mughals declared war on me.

All of a sudden I was boxed in on all sides, with my sea access cut off and my armies stretched over too many fronts trying to protect me. I wasn't earning enough in tax to reinforce my armies enough for a major push against... well, anyone, since all those lovely Ottoman realms needed hefty tax cuts to keep happy.

Picture the scene then, my armies lying in the four corners of the world, one fighting the Mughals, the other the Austrians, another desperately preparing to face a terrifying Swedish horde, and a fourth pushing back against the Polish (and making good progress, the only silver lining).

My plan at this point was to hold the oncoming forces - I had a fort I could keep the Swedes back from, the Mughals didn't look to be a serious problem and if they teamed up with the Ottomans I could fall back to Dagestan if absolutely necesarry - while I pushed through the soft Poles, cornering the Austrians.

At that point the French landed an army in... uh, shit, I've forgotten it's name. The bit of Russia that's a seperate state at the start, that's sympathetic to the Ottomans? Whatever, the point is, the French landed an army there. At this point I realised, the French hadn't just declared war to get in Austria's good books, they actually wanted to make a go at me.

In a frankly stunning campaign, the French army managed to push straight to Moscow, me idiotically not reinforcing that coastal area (since I thought I was safe with the Black Sea blockade, recently destroyed). It all looked over for me, if you've played the Ruskies you know that their central states like the Ukraine and Muscovy are powerful, but the back states are utter shit. Losing Moscow could very well lose me the game.

However, in an absolutely beautiful last stand, I managed to pull off a defence of the capital with only a meager force (though backed up with plenty of peasants), just long enough for that army that had been plundering Poland to arrive. I pushed the French into retreat, managed to stablise the borders, scored some essential peace treaties and went on to win the game. It was a harrowing 5 turns or so, let me tell you.
 

SckizoBoy

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BathorysGraveland said:
It would be indeed. The mod is a little clunky, but great fun when you can get past that.
It's very fast paced, considering the number of units you can maintain, given their low upkeep costs. On a playthrough as Sparta (hey, I'm a wuss!) I hideously overextended myself and ended up in Thespiai with less than five hundred hoplites, all of whom were mercs... promptly got my butt kicked back to the Isthmus of Corinth.

orangeban said:
Two things... Crimea... and man that was quite a ride! I only ever played E:TW long enough to get through a couple campaigns as Prussia, England & Maratha Confederacy, so I'm rather heartened to see someone rockin' on at it...(!)

Though, I will forever love N:TW more, unfortunately.
 

orangeban

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SckizoBoy said:
orangeban said:
Two things... Crimea... and man that was quite a ride! I only ever played E:TW long enough to get through a couple campaigns as Prussia, England & Maratha Confederacy, so I'm rather heartened to see someone rockin' on at it...(!)

Though, I will forever love N:TW more, unfortunately.
God dammit, I should have remembered that.

I never picked up N:TW, seemed too similar to Empire, and hey, I wasn't anywhere near done with Empire yet. And yeah, it was a heartstopping few turns, it's cool when the stars align to mess up your game like that, adds some interest.
 

SckizoBoy

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orangeban said:
I never picked up N:TW, seemed too similar to Empire, and hey, I wasn't anywhere near done with Empire yet. And yeah, it was a heartstopping few turns, it's cool when the stars align to mess up your game like that, adds some interest.
Yeah, a lot of people think N:TW is too similar to E:TW, but because of the buggy nature of N:TW and the extreme derp-ness of the AI at times, visually and gameplay-wise, N:TW is what E:TW was trying to be. Granted, there's still balancing non-issues, since everyone pretty much has the same unit roster, but I had barrels of fun... mainly because of the historical richness which I identified a lot more with than in other titles (my classical history is good, but the pace of R:TW leaves it impossible to 'progress naturally', my medieval history is iffy at best late-period notwithstanding, everything in E:TW from 1725 is thrown out the window because England/Prussia would never get on -_- and I had strategy gameplay issues with TW:S2... thus, leaving N:TW). Played (many times) as Prussia, but once on the hardest level setting, I thought, what the hell declare war in the autumn of 1806, I promptly get Jena'd! Spent several turns fighting off waves of French attacks before the gates of Berlin with reinforcements from the east (a tough slog that). Just felt more involved for me as a player than the other titles. *shrug*

Anyway -

SckizoBoy said:
OK it's 1811 in Napoleon: Total War.

Napoleon has just been defeated and exiled to Ajaccio, while three corps under Generalleutnants Ludwig Prinz von Preussen and Bogislav von Tauentzien and Generalfeldmarshal Auguste von Gneisenau are pacifying the rebellious French holdings and dealing with the rebuilding of Paris, Generalmajor Friedrich zu Hohenlohe-Ingelfingen's tired and battered corps, at barely half strength after the siege of Paris, make a slow but triumphant march back to Brandenburg, paying their respects at the Siegessaule (sic!!) before moving on to Konigsberg and Gumbinnen for some much needed rest, recuperation and refitting.

But in July, the Tsar Alexander decides that with the French now defeated, he must target someone new to unleash his armies against. Who better than the battered Prussians whose eastern frontier is defended only by one understrength corps and their closest support is the gruff Gebhard Blucher Prinz von Wahlstatt's veteran corps currently acting as a corps d'observation just north of Vienna. Three corps storm into East Prussia, but Old Fritz is equal to the task. The vanguard is soundly beaten in the Tilsit farmlands before he retires to Konigsberg, but the remaining two corps march through and devastate the Gumbinnen factory town. Taking a risk with Blucher still a month's march away, zu Hohenlohe confronts the Russian invaders outnumbered more than two to one, only to annihilate them in a display of heroism, losing almost two thirds of his combat effectives in the process, including virtually all of his general staff. Andreas Michael Barclay de Tolly sees his unfortunate end and the remnants are of his invasion force are chased down by two batteries of horse-artillery and three newly raised regiments of East Prussian Hussars and Lancers.

Blucher and the returning Scharnhorst, fresh from his defeat of the Swedish, arrive just in time to congratulate the rather peeved Fritz.
 

Yokillernick

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orangeban said:
There I was, at the helm of the mighty and vast Russian Empire. I had expanded deep in Ottoman territory, pushing them out of Europe, pushing my way through Dagestan in order to pincer round, mopping up the Persians as I went. On the other side of Europe, I had managed to liberate St Petersburg, and then Finland from the Swedish.

Then it all went to shit. There are a few reasons for this, which took place over 2 or so turns.

1) Austria declared war on me, forcing me to pull the bulk of my army out of Istanbul in order to protect soft Bulgaria and Croatia. The British sided with me, but, not so worryingly, the French sided with the Austrians, and, more worryingly, the Polish sided with the Austrians, a move I still don't understand and have never forgiven them for, in any game.

2) The Swedish pulled, out of their asses presumably, a full stack army of line infantry, who pushed my comparatively weak Cossack forces out of Sweden back to Helsinki. It should be noted at this point that the Baltic Sea had been long blockaded by the Swedes.

3) The Ottomans also managed an asspull, finding a huge navy somewhere, which sank the forces I had blocking the Black Sea, and preparing for a voyage to the New World.

4) In a move I hadn't seen coming, even less so than the betrayal by Poland, the Mughals declared war on me.

All of a sudden I was boxed in on all sides, with my sea access cut off and my armies stretched over too many fronts trying to protect me. I wasn't earning enough in tax to reinforce my armies enough for a major push against... well, anyone, since all those lovely Ottoman realms needed hefty tax cuts to keep happy.

Picture the scene then, my armies lying in the four corners of the world, one fighting the Mughals, the other the Austrians, another desperately preparing to face a terrifying Swedish horde, and a fourth pushing back against the Polish (and making good progress, the only silver lining).

My plan at this point was to hold the oncoming forces - I had a fort I could keep the Swedes back from, the Mughals didn't look to be a serious problem and if they teamed up with the Ottomans I could fall back to Dagestan if absolutely necesarry - while I pushed through the soft Poles, cornering the Austrians.

At that point the French landed an army in... uh, shit, I've forgotten it's name. The bit of Russia that's a seperate state at the start, that's sympathetic to the Ottomans? Whatever, the point is, the French landed an army there. At this point I realised, the French hadn't just declared war to get in Austria's good books, they actually wanted to make a go at me.

In a frankly stunning campaign, the French army managed to push straight to Moscow, me idiotically not reinforcing that coastal area (since I thought I was safe with the Black Sea blockade, recently destroyed). It all looked over for me, if you've played the Ruskies you know that their central states like the Ukraine and Muscovy are powerful, but the back states are utter shit. Losing Moscow could very well lose me the game.

However, in an absolutely beautiful last stand, I managed to pull off a defence of the capital with only a meager force (though backed up with plenty of peasants), just long enough for that army that had been plundering Poland to arrive. I pushed the French into retreat, managed to stablise the borders, scored some essential peace treaties and went on to win the game. It was a harrowing 5 turns or so, let me tell you.

Your final stand reminded me of a very sad tale of heroism and stupidity. So there I was stationed in a fort around 20 miles east of Paris. I was tasked to keep a lookout for any Austrians which might get trigger happy and feel like invading France is a really good idea. I mean invading is my job playing as Britain and all that.

So one chilly morning the alarm is sounded that 8 Austrian Line infantry Brigades had been spotted on the horizon with the intention of capturing the fort and advancing onto Paris. So we were Paris' last line of defence.

Pity they just put only a Coldstream Guard Brigade to hold the fort. Knowing that we were outnumbered I told the men to garrison the Barracks and wait for the enemies to come to us. We waited while the Austrians scaled the walls and went for the central courtyard. That's when the men began firing.

Pow. Pow. They feel by the dozens. I knew that standing inside the building was just delaying the inevitable so I told the men to form up outside in a square formation. No sooner the formation is done than the Austrians now surrounded us from all sides. We fought hard taking hundreds with us. In one instance a dying Austrian Brigade charged us and Billy was fighting hand to hand with an Austrian but the Austrian managed to get Billy in a strangling position so now Billy was being strangled with the Austrians gun. But one of my men saw this and fired a shot. The bullet went right through the Austrians head allowing Billy to break free and rejoin the line.

The Austrians were now out of bullets to fire since they wasted most of them firing at the barracks and were now charging us. We ran out of bullets as well but we did not let that stop us. Climbing over the bodies of our dead reformed the square 3 men and 5 men wide on all sides with me an the flag holder in the middle. Poor drummer got his head shot off by an Austrian sniper. Lucky bastard.

But with thousands of Austrians closing in on all sides we knew it was a lost battle. We fought to the last man and did not surrender. However, me and a couple of boys were captured and as the sun set over the fort we were executed. Shot and left to rot next to our companions.


PS: Don't worry the 8 Line Infantry of Austrians suffered heavy casualties and the huge army I had in Paris soon returned the favour. None remained to tell the tale.
 

Kragg

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Barciad said:
For some reason, I still play Medieval II. Empire lacked the visceral thrill whilst Shogun II lacked the scope. I have found that two well timed Jihads is the way to go with the Turks. Not to mention a bit of divine intervention regarding where the Mongols end up.
massive amounts of horse archers help aswell, just not vs mongols ^^
 

Lechimp89

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Yesterday I was playing Medieval 2 and I was in a field battle with the barons alliance (I was England). I had got my Longbowmen to lay down some stakes and when the enemy charged, their single cavalry unit stopped just before the pikes, and while their other units were charging, falling back then charging again, it just sat there until the whole army routed