Strangest/funniest things you've done while drunk?

[Barbas]

From what my friends tell me, I apparently became bored of the contents of my glass, got up from my seat and walked out into the night. I then padded off into the forested hills...in the absence of any other explanation, one can only assume that this was to find a private place to answer the call of nature. A frantic manhunt ensued, at the end of which I was allegedly found in a quiet side street, sitting contentedly on a stone wall and wistfully stargazing with my hands in my pockets and my mind out of orbit.

I was told the next morning that they found me by following "the trail". They didn't say what it was composed of.

 

[Sean Hollyman]

From what my friends tell me, I apparently became bored of the contents of my glass, got up from my seat and walked out into the night. I then padded off into the forested hills...in the absence of any other explanation, one can only assume that this was to find a private place to answer the call of nature. A frantic manhunt ensued, at the end of which I was allegedly found in a quiet side street, sitting contentedly on a stone wall and wistfully stargazing with my hands in my pockets and my mind out of orbit.

I was told the next morning that they found me by following "the trail". They didn't say what it was composed of.

What a mystery! Be glad you didn't get kidnapped or something.

 

[Sean Hollyman]

21st Birthday, me and friend rowed (as in pretending to have oars and singing) on McDonalds food trays and then I climbed on top of a phone box and fell asleep.

Weird night all in all.

How do you even fit on a tray?

And that reminds me of a party I went to, some dude was high as a kite, stripped fully nude and got on top of the fridge and just stayed there. It was surreal.

 

[Barbas]

From what my friends tell me, I apparently became bored of the contents of my glass, got up from my seat and walked out into the night. I then padded off into the forested hills...in the absence of any other explanation, one can only assume that this was to find a private place to answer the call of nature. A frantic manhunt ensued, at the end of which I was allegedly found in a quiet side street, sitting contentedly on a stone wall and wistfully stargazing with my hands in my pockets and my mind out of orbit.

I was told the next morning that they found me by following "the trail". They didn't say what it was composed of.

What a mystery! Be glad you didn't get kidnapped or something.

...And that I didn't kidnap anyone else!

...Hopefully. Not my finest moment.

 

[Ten Foot Bunny]

This past New Years Eve, I sent a whole bunch of embarrassing voice messages to my XBL friends. One of them said I sent her seven messages, each saying that I couldn't remember if I'd sent her a message yet.

The only other time I've been so drunk that I did stupid stuff, I texted this to a friend of mine:

French in my discussion name right now I have very Kittle in laundry. I only wanted parents. Okay, no more drunk on elliptical bench month!

That was probably part drunk and part autocorrect. Anyway, I have no clue what that was supposed to mean.

 

[LongAndShort]

I've got a few stories, but the one I remember off the top of my head is one of the times I was camping with my mates (which even when we 'take it easy' involves a great deal of grog).

It was a long night. At one point I was leaping over the fire. Then I was rearranging the burning logs to keep the fire going with my bare hands.
Later, I wandered off to take a piss and began to fall backwards. In an attempt to arrest my descent, I tried to take a few steps backwards... which turned into a jog, a run and then a backwards sprint until I finally stumbled and hit the ground, fly still unzipped.
And of course there was the Bacardi. I half remember that one mate challenged another mate to snort the stuff (don't know how it came up, I'm just positive it wasn't my idea to start with). Anyway, the guy who had been challenged was not nearly drunk enough and hesitated for too long. So with a profanity laden "I'll do it", I grabbed the bottle, jogged away before anybody could try and stop me, poured some and snorted it. I wouldn't recommend it.

Other stuff happened that night, but these are the stories my mates still tell while pissing themselves laughing.

Haven't been that drunk in a couple of years now.

 

[Poetic Nova]

Had some great laughs reading these comments.

Last and only time I was drunk I vaguely remember laughing about the weirdest stuff and getting home wasn't easy since I grabbing my bicycle seemed like a good idea -which it was not-. I was zigzagging over the roads and fell a couple of times.

A miracle that I remembered it somewhat.

 

[Isalan]

21st Birthday, me and friend rowed (as in pretending to have oars and singing) on McDonalds food trays and then I climbed on top of a phone box and fell asleep.

Weird night all in all.

How do you even fit on a tray?

And that reminds me of a party I went to, some dude was high as a kite, stripped fully nude and got on top of the fridge and just stayed there. It was surreal.

Bum on tray, pull yourself along with your feet. Should point out that we started rowing some mile and a half from the phone box. Took us like 2 hours to get that far and I was just a sticky mess at that point. The telephone box climbing was a bet, and my friend who was considerably less messed up than me, got up there, got bored, climbed down and left before I even made it.

 

[l0ckd0wn]

Hmmmm... Plucking random college story...

So it was the first day of moving in as a Freshman at Kettering University in Flint, Michigan. My parents had just left for the day and I'd met a few or my "pod" mates in my dorm (dorms were broken into floors, then pods... don't ask me, I didn't design it). A few of us from our pod ventured out into the courtyard of campus and were greeted by a bunch of upper classman that invite us to a Frosh Party at the "Green House." Now Kettering is tiny, only having 2500 students on campus during a semester, so between the dorms, frats and local housing everything was basically within a few blocks walk of the campus... The "Green House" was directly across the street from the main administration building.

A group of about 6 of us show up to the house about 9PM and are ushered down into their basement where there are already a bunch of other frosh as well as a bunch of upper classman already drinking. We are invited up to the bar where there is a bunch of shot glasses on the bar, a bottle of El Toro tequila and a 2 liter of Squirt.

This was the glorious day myself and my pod mate, Tim (who would become one of my best friends), were first introduced to Tequila slammers!... For the next 3 hours.

The great thing about tequila slammers is that they really don't taste like tequila, so you feel like you can do a dozen without breaking a sweat, and we did!

It wasn't to long after finishing the bottle of tequila they had on the bar that the decision to imbibe so much tequila was a poor one, especially for an 18 year old who had next no regular drinking experience (everyone gets drunk a few times in high school... and if you didn't, your loss). By the time I made it upstairs and out to the front porch I had a mouth full of puke with my hand over my face, only to then spend the next couple hours throwing up and dry heaving over this heavy cement porch.

My friend, however, did not make it to the front porch and instead ran for the backyard, finding a pine tree that he then clinged to... For the next 2 hours.

By 2am we were being asked to make our way home, which was a surprise considering they let us hydrate their lawn with our now expelled tequila slammers and hadn't asked us to leave sooner. But with every great demonstration of ardent stupidity comes the equally earned rank that is bestowed upon such endeavors. I, like now, was a short man, only seconded by a raging need to impress my new found alcohol benefactors and subsequently earned my own nickname when one of the guys who had been feeding us alcohol asked one of his roommates, "What happened to the tall hairy German ginger and the dwarf?" To which his roommate responded, "The dwarf is puking on the front porch and the tree-hugger is out back making love to the pine."

It was at this very moment that we were forever known as "Dwarf" and the "Tree Hugger."

We were best of friends while we were at school together, and still on occasion refer to each other in the names of our former selves. Most people at school knew of the party and of our escapades, and this was only just the first day...


PS
Maybe I'll tell the story of 2x 750ml 5 O'clock Gin & grape soda later... (That story actually had to be told back to me in pieces...)

 

[Haunted Serenity]

At a Christmas party for work there was a fun poker table and the money you won could go to raffle tickets in which you could place for different items. On of my co-workers who left early, her and her husband gave my wife and I about 2 million fun money dollars which bought us about hundred tickets. Which I promptly thought in my drunken state would be amazing to bid for a chocolate fondue fountain. So 100 hundred tickets went to that and the rest to actually cool items and two o a bottle of nice wine.

I won a chocolate fondue fountain. I am not a sweets person.

 

[Vault101]

I talked to a freind and spewed all my deepest darkest sexual desires....0_0...yeah

We also talked about BDSM...that was cool

 

[l0ckd0wn]

I talked to a freind and spewed all my deepest darkest sexual desires....0_0...yeah

We also talked about BDSM...that was cool

I'm not sure I understand... This happened when you were drunk, I get that, but this is the strangest thing done under alcohol? This was like a typical Friday night when I was in college... Just sayin, and not trying to put you down!

 

[Vault101]

I talked to a freind and spewed all my deepest darkest sexual desires....0_0...yeah

We also talked about BDSM...that was cool

I'm not sure I understand... This happened when you were drunk, I get that, but this is the strangest thing done under alcohol? This was like a typical Friday night when I was in college... Just sayin, and not trying to put you down!

Considering under most circumstances I wouldn't tell anyone then yes...

Though I probably wanted to tell Somone...

 

[Basement Cat]

The best stories are True Life stories---they're the most messed up!!!

Before most of you were born I was attending college and dating a woman 15 years older than me. Her name was Karen. Her nickname was Taz--as in "The Tasmanian Devil". She was a graduate student getting her Counselling degree. She did part time free work counselling abused wives and children who'd left abusive husbands. I discovered how sincerely she trusted me the night she let me drive her to a safe house for victims.

No small thing, folks. Truly.

Side note: She was a 3rd degree black belt who'd sparred with Bill "Superfoot" Wallace.

https://www.google.com/search?q=bill+superfoot+wallace&oq=bill+sup&aqs=chrome.1.69i57j0l5.9726j0j8&sourceid=chrome&es_sm=122&ie=UTF-8

She was always inviting me to punch her in the belly--AS HARD AS I POSSIBLY COULD!!!--because...well...she was that kind of a gall.

Anyway, we were leaving her favorite watering hole and we were both drunk "Three Sheets Into The Wind". Among other drinks she'd introduced me to 151 Rum that night.

We staggered to the car where I paused to puke my guts out at the driver's side back tire before (being a proper Southern gentleman) I helped her into the passenger's seat and then staggered around and dropped into the driver's seat.

Was I in ANY condition to safely drive a Volgo? Not just no but HELL, NO!!! We were both shit faced drunk, though.

Anyway, I'm sitting there in the driver's seat, grappling for the keys to the car when a police car with two officers in it pulls up near us in the parking lot.

The Cops: "Are you okay?"

Me: "Yeah, she's just looking for a music tape."

They nodded at my nonchalant (and THANKFULLY NON-GARBLED) response and pulled away.

End of story: I drove us back to her place along every back road we could find.

 

[Boris Goodenough]

The best stories are True Life stories---they're the most messed up!!!

Before most of you were born I was attending college and dating a woman 15 years older than me. Her name was Karen. Her nickname was Taz--as in "The Tasmanian Devil". She was a graduate student getting her Counselling degree. She did part time free work counselling abused wives and children who'd left abusive husbands. I discovered how sincerely she trusted me the night she let me drive her to a safe house for victims.

No small thing, folks. Truly.

Side note: She was a 3rd degree black belt who'd sparred with Bill "Superfoot" Wallace.

https://www.google.com/search?q=bill+superfoot+wallace&oq=bill+sup&aqs=chrome.1.69i57j0l5.9726j0j8&sourceid=chrome&es_sm=122&ie=UTF-8

She was always inviting me to punch her in the belly--AS HARD AS I POSSIBLY COULD!!!--because...well...she was that kind of a gall.

Anyway, we were leaving her favorite watering hole and we were both drunk "Three Sheets Into The Wind". Among other other drinks she'd introduced me to 151 Rum that night.

We staggered to the car where I paused to puke my guts out at the driver's side back tire before (being a proper Southern gentleman) I helped her into the passenger's seat and then staggered around and dropped into the driver's seat.

Was I in ANY condition to safely drive a Volgo? Not just no but HELL, NO!!! We were both shit faced drunk, though.

Anyway, I'm sitting there in the driver's seat, grappling for the keys to the car when a police car with two officers in it pulls up near us in the parking lot.

The Cops: "Are you okay?"

Me: "Yeah, she's just looking for a music tape."

They nodded at my nonchalant (and THANKFULLY NON-GARBLED) response and pulled away.

End of story: I drove us back to her place along every back road we could find.

No wonder the US has such high incidents of drunk driving manslaughter.

 

[Basement Cat]

No wonder the US has such high incidents of drunk driving manslaughter.

Hrrrmmm...I can't disagree.

On the other hand the country's so darned blamed big that any kind of effective public transport system (trains, etc) beyond major urban centers (i.e. New York subways) is pragmatically impossible.

Can't bicker with your point, though. Especially where college towns are concerned.

 

[Boris Goodenough]

Hrrrmmm...I can't disagree.

On the other hand the country's so darned blamed big that any kind of effective public transport system (trains, etc) beyond major urban centers (i.e. New York subways) is pragmatically impossible.

Can't bicker with your point, though. Especially where college towns are concerned.

Let me be honest, I despise drunk drivers, it shows a lack of self-control that eclipses mine. Reckless endagerment of other humans because you could not say no to too much alcohol while you had a car you knew you had to operate later.
The drunk drivers here in Denmark that I have encountered, drove because they were angry and wanted to get away from the party/house, which I guess makes them even more dangerous.

However, yes public transportation is dismal in the US, and I agree it contributes to the high incidence of it.
However I also feel your 21 year laws regarding alcohol plays a huge part aswell, not learning limits before you are handed a potential ramming weapon.

Captcha, how wrong you are for once: glass ceiling

 

[Bebus]

I once woke up after a night out, fuzzy memories, pounding headache and sick to my stomach, to a foul smelling room. Naturally I was quite worried: bad smells are never, ever a good thing, especially when there is no obvious source.

Had I thrown up in my sock drawer? Dragged in the carcass of some roadkill and hidden it under the bed?

Worse.

Investigation turned up a half-eaten, congealed mess of a doner kebab stuffed down the back of my radiator which had been slowly baking it.

To date, the only explanation I've been able to come up with is that drunken me thought hungover me might appreciate a warm breakfast.

I hate drunken me.

 

[Rot_At_The_Root]

I've got hammered and thrown up spaghetti out of my nose, and i apparently walked in to a room at a party wearing nothing but someone elses sock to cover my shame. I don't remember but there were reliable sources in the room at the time!