Strangest thing you've seen in Tabletop RPGs (Dungeons and Dragons and the like)

[DrgoFx]

I've recently gotten into RPGs, even though I've listened to several stories and read up on how to play them from interest. Right off the bat, though, I'm met with unorthodox behavior...supposedly. My friend rolled a cleric and chose Pharosma as his deity, whose favored weapon is dagger. In response to this, he just went "Why the fuck not?" And went with two weapon fighting. A half-elf cleric in scalemail is dual wielding daggers...Right...

 

[Emiscary]

A mechanized enchanted throne with 2 mounted cannons that fired flaming bears & lightning.

Yes, seriously.

 

[DrgoFx]

A mechanized enchanted throne with 2 mounted cannons that fired flaming bears & lightning.

Yes, seriously.

If we're going down that road, my DM threw a, um...land octopus at us who attempt to tentical rape our only female player. She's a little creeped out by him now, even though it was a random target selection by dice roll.

 

[Fappy]

Exalted games yields some pretty hilarious shit. One time I was running along side an ally who was mounted on a phantom steed spinning his scythe back-and-forth to kill a legion of enemies. I leaped up and grabbed the end of the scythe and proceeded to spin myself around the shaft of the scythe, kicking my feet, while it was being spun back and forth on either side of the steed. He ended up swinging really hard and throwing me off into a dragon kick that impacted on a large group of enemies. Some enemies flew into the air and were shot down by the scythe's lasers as my friend road by. We got some insane stunt bonus and ended up plowing through the army. Can't say that's the craziest thing but its always one of the first stories that comes to mind.

 

[Emiscary]

It wasn't the DM. It was a PC. He went on a bit of a power trip when we finished placing him on the throne... and things went downhill when he sold his soul to a demon >.>

 

[saintdane05]

Gibbering Beasts.

http://goo.gl/YNtRi

I think they count as insanity incarnite.

 

[BaronUberstein]

Savage Worlds system, first campaign I was playing of a tabletop game. We descided we needed to get some information, so we broke into a manor. Party member 1 heard gunshots, and booked it. I killed some guards and climbed into a second story window, got into a massive gunfight, and stole a useless networked computer.

The low-intelligence score martial artist midget in our group proceeded to kidnap an accountant and steal a desk filled with files...

 

[elvor0]

Our party invented the Dwarf Grenade. Basically our Dwarf Warrior tended to kill people. Alot. Quest givers and npcs be damned, they died. So we got a bag of holding, a straw, cast water breathing on him and put him in a bag of holding filled with water. When we needed him we'd just throw the bag at the enemies with cries of "Dwarfinabag!"

Another time the wizard figured out how to make an atomic bomb with a bottle of water, shrinking spells and some other stuff. I mean it was completely impossible to use as you had to be near it to activate it, and it would go off instantly, but it was always there in our party was about to all be killed.

 

[SomeBrianDude]

I'm not sure this counts, but it's the only thing that springs to mind. The last time we tried out a new player, he didn't seem to understand what a tank was supposed to do, and spent most of the time hiding round corners and running away from enemies. Something tells me he won't be back.

 

[dragonswarrior]

We once fought our main boss fight on the backs of dragons. That were flying. And we had to vault between them as we fought the enemies. ... Good times...

Slightly more serious, during that same campaign: So we were using characters from a previous campaign. The DM pulled out a good NPC from the last game that had turned evil in this one, betraying our group. Our NPC guide at the time had been the lover of the traitor NPC. The DM's plan had been to have the betrayed jilted lover NPC guide shoot a disintegrate at the traitor NPC, an awesome gesture but largely useless due to saves and AC and such, so we would have to fight the traitor during the main boss battle too.

Welp, the guide NPC rolled a 20 and the traitor NPC rolled a 1.

Hilarity. And it was way cooler, even if it kind of ruined the boss fight.

 

[Xanadu84]

The 7 foot tall low level sorcerer with weapon focus: Battle axe tells the sneaky rouge that he has point dealing with a trio of guards. Sorcerer says, "Now when I give the signal, I want you to just start shooting people". Rogue says, "Whats the signal?" Sorcerer says, "You will know the signal when you see it." Sorcerer walks up to guard. Says, "Hey guys, whats up?" Guard turns. Sorcerer buries the sword in his chest. The player of the rogue pauses a second and says, "...I think that's the signal".
...
Shortly later, after escaping those guards, they run into another group of (Very suspicious) guards. The guards demand to know who they are. Sorcerer says, "I'm the leader of this army!" guard says, "For starters, we are led by a War Council". Sorcerer says, "I mean, I am the war council"

The bluff did not succeed.
...
a high level character came to a glowing doorway of light. Walking up to it, he says, "I get close to it". "You feel an intense heat radiating from it". "I put a stick through it" "The part that you stick through is gone when you bring it back, the ends burned." "I touch it" "You take...3 points of damage, and your hand is badly burned" "Okay, I walk through it"
You know, its a pain to roll a new 24th level character is 2end edition.
...
Deck of Many things. Look at the old version of it. It NEVER ends well. Or sane.
...
I attempted to introduce a powerful artifact that emitted a field when spun that acted as an anti-magic field, which actually drained ambient magic from the area. The primary limiting factor was that this drained magic would build up as heat, and if enough heat built up, it would send out a massive firestorm. The intent was to absorb magic until it would wipe out a large area, acting as a sort of magical nuke. NEVER underestimate clever players. For starters, instead of stopping the guy doing this, they just let him, and recovered the artifact immediately after. Well the players just got an artifact, but a rather mindlessly destructive one that was hard to get going. But they rationally posited that this nuke could be prevented by using a coolant, and expanding the area that the field absorbed magic from. Oops, they just made a larger anti-magic field then I intended. But they were not done. No see, it was water cooled. Which meant lots and lots of...steam. Which meant steam POWER. Which meant they could harness that power to...spin the artifact faster. The leader of the party had lots of intelligence and engineering skills. Long story short, they settled down for a while inventing things like steam powered Golems, airships, tanks, Pnemonic guns and other pretty advanced tech. They powered all this steam technology with a device that drained all magic from a town sized area. Suddenly, they could roll up to a town, and start attacking them with robots, while the defenders didn't have a spec of magic. They were supposed to be escorting a small party of refugees through a hostile kingdom. They ended up taking over the kingdom, and then the entire western seaboard, starting an industrial revolution.

 

[Nigh Invulnerable]

The 7 foot tall low level sorcerer with weapon focus: Battle axe tells the sneaky rouge that he has point dealing with a trio of guards. Sorcerer says, "Now when I give the signal, I want you to just start shooting people". Rogue says, "Whats the signal?" Sorcerer says, "You will know the signal when you see it." Sorcerer walks up to guard. Says, "Hey guys, whats up?" Guard turns. Sorcerer buries the sword in his chest. The player of the rogue pauses a second and says, "...I think that's the signal".
...
Shortly later, after escaping those guards, they run into another group of (Very suspicious) guards. The guards demand to know who they are. Sorcerer says, "I'm the leader of this army!" guard says, "For starters, we are led by a War Council". Sorcerer says, "I mean, I am the war council"

The bluff did not succeed.
...
a high level character came to a glowing doorway of light. Walking up to it, he says, "I get close to it". "You feel an intense heat radiating from it". "I put a stick through it" "The part that you stick through is gone when you bring it back, the ends burned." "I touch it" "You take...3 points of damage, and your hand is badly burned" "Okay, I walk through it"
You know, its a pain to roll a new 24th level character is 2end edition.
...
Deck of Many things. Look at the old version of it. It NEVER ends well. Or sane.[\b]
...
I attempted to introduce a powerful artifact that emitted a field when spun that acted as an anti-magic field, which actually drained ambient magic from the area. The primary limiting factor was that this drained magic would build up as heat, and if enough heat built up, it would send out a massive firestorm. The intent was to absorb magic until it would wipe out a large area, acting as a sort of magical nuke. NEVER underestimate clever players. For starters, instead of stopping the guy doing this, they just let him, and recovered the artifact immediately after. Well the players just got an artifact, but a rather mindlessly destructive one that was hard to get going. But they rationally posited that this nuke could be prevented by using a coolant, and expanding the area that the field absorbed magic from. Oops, they just made a larger anti-magic field then I intended. But they were not done. No see, it was water cooled. Which meant lots and lots of...steam. Which meant steam POWER. Which meant they could harness that power to...spin the artifact faster. The leader of the party had lots of intelligence and engineering skills. Long story short, they settled down for a while inventing things like steam powered Golems, airships, tanks, Pnemonic guns and other pretty advanced tech. They powered all this steam technology with a device that drained all magic from a town sized area. Suddenly, they could roll up to a town, and start attacking them with robots, while the defenders didn't have a spec of magic. They were supposed to be escorting a small party of refugees through a hostile kingdom. They ended up taking over the kingdom, and then the entire western seaboard, starting an industrial revolution.

The Deck of Many Things is always insane, no matter what edition. It is, however, loads of fun to force players to draw from due to an Epic Level Curse....Heh heh heh.

 

[Cpu46]

I've only played a bit of 4th ed due to school and lack of interest from others. However we did end up tossing a group of baddies into a well and finishing them off by having our halfling rouge jump down after them while the mage cast fountain of flame on them. Mildly burnt halfling and epic BBQ ensued.

Also shortly after an epic quest, during which we defeated a dragon, half the party was killed by a bar full of drunks because the DM forgot to factor in a feature that required them to save against falling prone every turn. They were "defeated" by our ranger, who had no weapon and 5 hp left, rolling especially well on an intimidate check even with several penalties.

 

[Seanfall]

Having my Kobold Rogue being shot out of an longbow and sneak attack critiing a giant undead monster. Hitting it where a magic orb in it's body was hidden. The orb was healing the monster. And when I critted it...it exploded. Sending my Kobold (who was dragonwrought and had wings look it up in Races of the Dragon 3.5 if you want.) flying into the forest and blowing a a huge chunk of the tower the thing was on away.

A close second is when that same Rogue was more or less raped by a female Red Dragon. I'm not even sure how that works....

 

[Chaos-Spider]

Wow.

The best I've got was that the people in my playgroup were cooped up in a quest givers house due to a tsunami hitting the whole city, so we decided to make dinner by attacking some of the vegetables in the NPC's kitchen. At which point the rogue scores a critical hit on some celery, leading him to carve his initials into it and the celery running off in terror. And thus sentient celery was introduced into the desna's desperadoes campaign.

Other than that, our fighter got electrocuted by a lamp, we fought a dalek* (and won)and used stomach acid to pick a lock.



*OK. it wasn't actually a dalek, but it was a mechanical tube creature with eye-stalks, bump nodules and it shot missiles (and possibly lasers?) so it just got called that for simplicity's sake.

 

[wickershadow]

A while ago I was in an RP game based off of Pokemon, pretty neat actually, but that's another story. One of the other players was an ace trainer and focused only on winning but at the same time was kind of an idiot. After a lengthy travel we had reached the 5th gym I believe it was with the leader being the grand daughter of a rich CEO in the game. There was a subplot running through the game about a terrorist cell and our ingenious Ace here was certain that the girl was in one it (She was like 11 by the way). To prove this his course of action was to grab her in a choke hold, summoning her security ,and most entertaining get tazered in the back by my character. In the end our DM had to take a plot for way ahead in the game to deus ex us out of that one. All in all pretty entertaining.

 

[emeraldrafael]

we made my friend who lost both his legs in real life have his character lose both his legs permanently in the game cause he was being a bit of a dick.

which is funny cause hes a theif type character where he needs to be sneaky, but the only guy that can carry him is our bulky heavy loud tank, so he gets a minus 19 on pretty much ever sneak he tries.

so basically his character is useless to his class.

 

[tobi the good boy]

Having a character with poisonous blood kill a giant spider by making it eat his pinky finger. Also, pulling your arms off so that you can crawl through a ventilation shaft.

 

[MartianWarMachine]

I'm sure we've done some crazy stuff, but I can't remember too much of it. Let's see...

There was the Deck of Many Things abuse, which lead to the entire party turning evil, the Dwarf barbarian changing sex, and drawing the "you die" card 3 times, using up my 2 wishes, and forcing us to bargin with a... something... to reverse the effects of the cards. We never made it to the end of the dungeon. Well, we did, but we were wounded, out of healing spells, and about to fight a green dragon. We didn't continue...

There was a GURPS game based on Skyrim, but without magic, and our characters could barely use their shouts in public without being hunted down. Anyway, one of the PCs was meditating in his room, because he took some kind of "short temper" flaw which I can barely remember anything about, and the other PC, probably secretly a worshipper of Loki, went to a nearby farm, bought a pig, walked to the meditating guys window with it, and made enough strength rolls to eventually lift up the pig, and throw it through the window at the guy. He was reduced to 1 HP and suffered a major wound. The game didn't last much longer...

And there was a Golden Heroes game (Squadron UK, I think it's called now), where we had to rescue an American superhero, and my new character joined the game. A psychic, cybernetic alien, who turned the enemies guns into sticks. We beat the nameless NPC hired goons, and broke into a submarine. We called in the Americans, and for reasons now lost, the alien punched the commander-y guy hard enough in the face to render him comatose. The rest of the guys gunned the alien down. The other heroes were arrested and now America hates our group, just like the rest of the world...

I'm sure there's more, but I can't remember any of it right now. It's almost 6 am and I haven't slept yet...

Edit: Oh, there was a Savage Worlds campaign based on... some book that the GM had read. Anyway, we were supposed to be... I can't even remember. But I founda blacksmith where I could get a chestplate (I had plate arms, plate legs, and a plate helm, and no chestplate...), and found an elderly man, who gave me a bit of paper to come back to the shop with. After enough time had passed, I returned and gained a suit of armour where the only visible openings were the eye-holes. Upon exiting, the shop, and the backsmith, had vanished. Later, while exploring a dungeon, I fall down a trap-door and end up in a fancy tomb, which held a talking sword, which wanted me to take it. Turns out it was an elf king who wanted to kill the gods, and I was happy to turn on my party and help it, and by the time we stopped playing, I was a 7-foot-tall walking tank. And we convinced the "medicinal herb"-smoking Gnome to join us, with the promise of 4 extra feet of height, god-like power, a physical manifestation for one of the hallucinogenic side-effects of the "herbs", and a Bag of Holding full of cookies.

And there was a Paranoia game that started with a cinema that spouted "Communist Propaganda", in the form of some old Chuck Norris films, and ended with a battle against a giant, radioactive, super-powered Chuck Norris. It's a good thing I had a psychic mind rape ability that everyone now knows about...